venting, whining, frustrated, tired

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/12/01 7:39:10 AM Central Standard Time,

teelablue@... writes:

> I don't seem

> to have the inexhaustable patience everyone else seems

> to have.

Teela, WOW! That was wonderfully written. I'm so sorry that we all have to go

through this. But I've seen wonderful posts from you. You do have great

patience. We all hit our heads on that wall. We all get tired. We all get

angry. None of us on this list or any of the support lists I am on get

through this without wanting out. It's not out that you want though ... it's

the disorders that you want out. And (did I miss the post that said you are

pregnant ... I hadn't realized ... I must have skimmed through that part)

being pregnant makes things worse.

You're a wonderful person Teela ... don't let the disorder beat you. We're

here to hold you through this, you're not alone even though you can't see us

or touch us, we're with you in spirit, and in love.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Peggikaye)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

And about the socks that look like clown shoes ... have you tried turning

them inside out? That worked for ... but my sons OT says it works

for some not for others.

Peggikaye ... Oklahoma

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/12/01 7:47:18 AM Central Standard Time,

mom2tazbug@... writes:

> You're a wonderful person Teela ... don't let the disorder beat you. We're

> here to hold you through this, you're not alone even though you can't see

us

>

> or touch us, we're with you in spirit, and in love.

>

> ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Peggikaye)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

>

OK ... shouldn't be posting before coffee ...

this was supposed to be

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Teela))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Peggikaye

[Guest guest]

Dear Teela,

Ditto, ditto, ditto... I felt exactly the same way when my daughter was 4

and 5 and we were at our lowest. Things are much better since she is in

treatment and on medication (I just realized this morning that we can leave

for school now without her furious and me nearly, or in fact, in tears!).

Also, age helps. It seems that the sensory problems have gotten gradually

better for my daughter, even before the Paxil lessened her other symptoms,

and peer pressure from other girls (she is now 8 and in third grade) has at

least got her dressing normally and brushing her hair. Still no coat, hat,

mittens or socks usually though. Now it is just my son - nothing but sweat

pants (a whole closet full of nice pants wasting away), only rubber boots

summer and winter, etc. Sigh. And just forget the food issue...Hopeless.

Hang in there. This will get better - and there are many others of us out

here who feel the same way!! That should be some consolation.

But don't you just want to scream sometimes when other people complain

about how hard their kids are? They have NO idea...

Best wishes to you and yours,

[Guest guest]

I am so tired of the constant battles over clothes in

the morning.

I am tired of socks that hang off feet like clown

shoes

I am tired of panties that only make it to the bottom

of the buttocks

I am tired of being screamed at every morning and

hearing I hate you from a 4 year old

I am tired of scouring stores to find any article of

clothing that my child may wear only to it rejected

and to take the hour long bus ride to return it.

I am tired of looking in her closet at all the

clothing I have bought and never had the energy to

return that hangs unworn. I could have a pretty decent

woardrobe

I am tired of shoes without laces, boots two sizes to

big, coats that never zip, hats that are never worn

I am tired of seeing my child squeezed into a dress up

dress at daycare that is 2 sizes too small when she

won;t wear a tee shirt or sweater

I am tired of the horrified looks I get everywere I go

because my child only wears v necked short sleeved

shirts, light cotton pants, not hats mitts etc

I am tired of messy hair sticking out in every

direction because I can't deal with the melt down in

the hair dressers and she won't wear it pinned back

I am tired of her being sloppy, messy, bordering on

skid row and looking like I would rather spend my

money and energy on anything but her when the opposite

is the truth.

I am tired of the skinny body with grey hairs because

she eats nothing.

I am tired of chicken three meals a day. I am tired of

never seeing a piece of fruit or vegatable pass her

lips. I am tired of her rejecting everything. She wont

even eat rice any more

I am tired of explaining ad nauseum that the move will

be great she will have a toy room and a back yard and

it is just across the street

I am tired of explaining over and over that I will

still love her when the baby comes. that we will still

have time together.

I am tired of praying nightly that I can wake up and

not have a fight about everything

I am tired of being her mom but I love her and my

world wouldn't be the same without her. I don't seem

to have the inexhaustable patience everyone else seems

to have. I feel angry all the time now. I just want

some peace. I can;t take pleasure anymore in a day

that maybe her boots are tied up because something

will replace it or it won;t stay that way. I am sorry

to be whining like this but I am lost and I don't know

what to do. I am tired o banging my head against a

wall and not being hear. I am tired of dr's who don;t

or won't help. teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

((((((((((Teela)))))))))))

So sorry it's so painful right now. I have had weird clothes issues with 2

kids forever - my son used to wear rubber dishwashing gloves, ski boots and

a ski hat to nursery school in June because he was being a character from a

cartoon - not just once, but obssessively for over a month. Teachers have

called me too to complain of my neglect when my daughter goes to school with

no socks in the winter. And so on.

However - there are people here who can understand what I - and you - and

our kids - go through. You have my sympathy - and, even better, my empathy.

Hope there's some relief soon.

-karen-

>From: Teela Blue <teelablue@...>

>Reply-

>

>Subject: venting, whining, frustrated, tired

>Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 08:36:48 -0500 (EST)

>

>I am so tired of the constant battles over clothes in

>the morning.

>I am tired of socks that hang off feet like clown

>shoes

>I am tired of panties that only make it to the bottom

>of the buttocks

>I am tired of being screamed at every morning and

>hearing I hate you from a 4 year old

>I am tired of scouring stores to find any article of

>clothing that my child may wear only to it rejected

>and to take the hour long bus ride to return it.

>I am tired of looking in her closet at all the

>clothing I have bought and never had the energy to

>return that hangs unworn. I could have a pretty decent

>woardrobe

>I am tired of shoes without laces, boots two sizes to

>big, coats that never zip, hats that are never worn

>I am tired of seeing my child squeezed into a dress up

>dress at daycare that is 2 sizes too small when she

>won;t wear a tee shirt or sweater

>I am tired of the horrified looks I get everywere I go

>because my child only wears v necked short sleeved

>shirts, light cotton pants, not hats mitts etc

>I am tired of messy hair sticking out in every

>direction because I can't deal with the melt down in

>the hair dressers and she won't wear it pinned back

>I am tired of her being sloppy, messy, bordering on

>skid row and looking like I would rather spend my

>money and energy on anything but her when the opposite

>is the truth.

>I am tired of the skinny body with grey hairs because

>she eats nothing.

>I am tired of chicken three meals a day. I am tired of

>never seeing a piece of fruit or vegatable pass her

>lips. I am tired of her rejecting everything. She wont

>even eat rice any more

>I am tired of explaining ad nauseum that the move will

>be great she will have a toy room and a back yard and

>it is just across the street

>I am tired of explaining over and over that I will

>still love her when the baby comes. that we will still

>have time together.

> I am tired of praying nightly that I can wake up and

>not have a fight about everything

>I am tired of being her mom but I love her and my

>world wouldn't be the same without her. I don't seem

>to have the inexhaustable patience everyone else seems

>to have. I feel angry all the time now. I just want

>some peace. I can;t take pleasure anymore in a day

>that maybe her boots are tied up because something

>will replace it or it won;t stay that way. I am sorry

>to be whining like this but I am lost and I don't know

>what to do. I am tired o banging my head against a

>wall and not being hear. I am tired of dr's who don;t

>or won't help. teela

>

>_______________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the support. I needed to release all that

and I printed it out for Summer's dr so he can see the

state I am in. I am 35 weeks pregnant so I am sure you

are right and the hormonal state I am in doesn;t help.

I must say I am looking forward to that peaceful

feeling that is attained while in a nursing

relationship. I have tried turning her socks inside

out and the seamless ones too. It seems that the issue

is that they stick to her. What in the world can I do

about that??? I know it is this horrible illness that

I want to go away. desperately actually. thanks for

the support and listening. I feel kind of silly now

but it was a really big relief to get that out . hugs Teela

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I have tried turning her socks inside

> out and the seamless ones too. It seems that the issue

> is that they stick to her. What in the world can I do

> about that???

Hi Teela,

How about trying this: dust her feet with a little baby powder

first, then put the socks on. Then they wouldn't " stick " .

You're in my prayers; your post touched me as well as the rest of

the group. My daughter has always had issues with clothing; though

not extreme, they are enough to make me totally understand your

post,especially the part about spending hours in the store finding

something she'll wear, then bringing it back when she won't touch

it! It's only since her recent OCD diagnosis that I can put all this

in a new light.

Amy in NJ

[Guest guest]

HI Teela:

Go ahead and vent. All the things you list are extremely tiring and tiresome.

It is good to get it off your chest and I hope you are getting some support

yourself. Many of us suffer with depressed mood and anxiety ourselves from

dealing with OCD. I would encourage you to get some help for yourself.

This really helped me cope.

Also you note you are tired. Have you heard of HALT,

h = hungry

a = anxious

l = lonely

t = tired?

When you are any one of these you need to halt and address the situation,

i.e. eat, work on reducing anxiety, reach out to others for support, and

get some sleep. Whenever we are short in these departments our coping

skills are less successful. Sometimes just turning these around helps us

to find the energy to cope again and explains why things feel unbearable.

If it goes on for a couple of weeks or more you might need to address

things more aggressively.

Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h)

kathyh@...

At 08:36 AM 03/12/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>I am so tired of the constant battles over clothes in

>the morning.

>I am tired of socks that hang off feet like clown

>shoes

>I am tired of panties that only make it to the bottom

>of the buttocks

>I am tired of being screamed at every morning and

>hearing I hate you from a 4 year old

>I am tired of scouring stores to find any article of

>clothing that my child may wear only to it rejected

>and to take the hour long bus ride to return it.

>I am tired of looking in her closet at all the

>clothing I have bought and never had the energy to

>return that hangs unworn. I could have a pretty decent

>woardrobe

>I am tired of shoes without laces, boots two sizes to

>big, coats that never zip, hats that are never worn

>I am tired of seeing my child squeezed into a dress up

>dress at daycare that is 2 sizes too small when she

>won;t wear a tee shirt or sweater

>I am tired of the horrified looks I get everywere I go

>because my child only wears v necked short sleeved

>shirts, light cotton pants, not hats mitts etc

>I am tired of messy hair sticking out in every

>direction because I can't deal with the melt down in

>the hair dressers and she won't wear it pinned back

>I am tired of her being sloppy, messy, bordering on

>skid row and looking like I would rather spend my

>money and energy on anything but her when the opposite

>is the truth.

>I am tired of the skinny body with grey hairs because

>she eats nothing.

>I am tired of chicken three meals a day. I am tired of

>never seeing a piece of fruit or vegatable pass her

>lips. I am tired of her rejecting everything. She wont

>even eat rice any more

>I am tired of explaining ad nauseum that the move will

>be great she will have a toy room and a back yard and

>it is just across the street

>I am tired of explaining over and over that I will

>still love her when the baby comes. that we will still

>have time together.

> I am tired of praying nightly that I can wake up and

>not have a fight about everything

>I am tired of being her mom but I love her and my

>world wouldn't be the same without her. I don't seem

>to have the inexhaustable patience everyone else seems

>to have. I feel angry all the time now. I just want

>some peace. I can;t take pleasure anymore in a day

>that maybe her boots are tied up because something

>will replace it or it won;t stay that way. I am sorry

>to be whining like this but I am lost and I don't know

>what to do. I am tired o banging my head against a

>wall and not being hear. I am tired of dr's who don;t

>or won't help. teela