Blaming parents

[Guest guest]

Hello parents:

Let me give you a little history that will help you understand why you seem

to be so easily blamed for and assumed to be responsible for your child's

OCD and related conditions. As I said before, because human behavior is so

complex, there are various schools of thought and theories about it.

Different professionals are trained in different schools of thought, and

they then approach your child's OCD with that perspective.

Decades before Cognitive Behavioral theory entered the market,

psychoanalysis did a great injustice to parents and children with OCD by the

conjecture that OCD was a reflection of harsh parenting, punitive potty

training, and unresolved aggressive and sexual conflicts. OCD has been one

of the most misunderstood disorders of time, resulting in much needless pain

for sufferers and their families. It is now seen as a neurobiological

condition that has nothing to do with childhood experiences! In fact, just

yesterday, I was jarred to hear a colleague describe a child's obsessions

that he would contaminate and thereby kill his parents and friends, and

attribute this child's fears to his anger at his mother's dominance and his

father's absence, and a possible wish to retaliate.

Parents and families do not cause OCD--it's that simple. But keep in mind

that OCD affects the entire family and changes your modus operandi

completely. So, when family therapy is suggested, it should be to help you

all cope better, improve your communication, understand your child better,

learn self-care, strengthen your marital relationship etc, not to undo the

" causes " of OCD. Family therapy is often a very useful adjunctive

treatment, but in and of itself, it does not help your child overcome OCD.

For that, we reserve CBT.

Take care,

Aureen Wagner, Ph.D.