Munchausen

January 1, 2001

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I am not real good at doing e-mails back unless I feel I can really

contribute to the Help of your questions. But I do want you all to know I

read all your mails and feel for all of you..

I also was..not right out.. but in a round about way accused of Munchausen

by-proxy. When my daughter was about 3 months old she was crying ALL

the time.. by the time she was 1 year old she only weighed 9lbs..(in all that

time we saw MANY Drs. to see WHY)

at 1 they admitted her to the hospital and said.. we feel it is best if only

STAFF feed her and we don't want any family members to give her ANY food

...snacks.. nothing.. Well, I didn't think much of it till a friend (a nurse)

said They are think it is a problem in the family not a REAL medical

condition.. Well, at the end of a 2 week stay she had lost 8 oz. I told the

nurse.. I AM HAPPY she lost.. she said that is a terrible thing to say.. I

said YES but now you can see it ISNT me or my family.. Durning that stay they

had tested her for things I never knew about because when you sing papers at

a hospital that gives them the right to do ANY tests they want.. one was

Aids.. She was negative.. I am not sure it all her hospital stays (6 in 2

years) helped in her OCD problems today.. I just thought I would share my

experience with you and remember MOST DR are helpful SOME do more harm..

Good luck to all of you in the New Year =)

Steph

January 2, 2001

HI Steph:

Happy New Year! Thanks for your comfort on the Munchausen's by-proxy

stuff. I am very sorry for your troubles with when she was so

young, you must have been so worried. Steve was such a bundle of health,

energy, personality and vitality, we really were shocked to find out he had

something seriously wrong with him like OCD and other alphabet soup at 10.

I understand there is a support group on the Internet somewhere for mothers

wrongfully accused of Munchausen's by-proxy. I was told this by someone

who was comforting me about the whole issue.

Like you we have also encountered some fabulous mental health docs and

professionals. I celebrate their existence today. In fact I was able to

meet the mother of Steve's CBT therapist and thank her personally for

giving birth to her! Also we have our two fabulous docs on this list, Dr.

Tamar Chansky and Dr. Aureen Pinto Wagner who are wonderful blessings to

all of us and their OCD patients and their families. Now if we could just

clone them around the world....hmmmm....

Take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 06:44 PM 01/01/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>Happy New Year Everyone!!

>

>I am not real good at doing e-mails back unless I feel I can really

>contribute to the Help of your questions. But I do want you all to know I

>read all your mails and feel for all of you..

>I also was..not right out.. but in a round about way accused of Munchausen

>by-proxy. When my daughter was about 3 months old she was crying ALL

>the time.. by the time she was 1 year old she only weighed 9lbs..(in all

that

>time we saw MANY Drs. to see WHY)

>at 1 they admitted her to the hospital and said.. we feel it is best if only

>STAFF feed her and we don't want any family members to give her ANY food

>..snacks.. nothing.. Well, I didn't think much of it till a friend (a nurse)

>said They are think it is a problem in the family not a REAL medical

>condition.. Well, at the end of a 2 week stay she had lost 8 oz. I told the

>nurse.. I AM HAPPY she lost.. she said that is a terrible thing to say.. I

>said YES but now you can see it ISNT me or my family.. Durning that stay

they

>had tested her for things I never knew about because when you sing papers at

>a hospital that gives them the right to do ANY tests they want.. one was

>Aids.. She was negative.. I am not sure it all her hospital stays (6 in 2

>years) helped in her OCD problems today.. I just thought I would share my

>experience with you and remember MOST DR are helpful SOME do more harm..

>Good luck to all of you in the New Year =)

>

>Steph

January 3, 2001

Steph and all,

I feel very naive at learning the number of parents who have had the

Munchhausen by proxy thing come up while trying to access medical or psych

help for their OCD kids. The worst suggested of me so far is that I love my

daughter " too much. " Less love would equal less OCD, or ??? I didn't

really follow this therapist's thought. However, many many therapists I

have contacted by phone, looking for E & RP for my daughter, countered by

saying no, she doesn't need CBT, instead we need to find out why her anxiety

is so high that she *had* to develop an anxiety disorder--indirectly

suggesting that something in her life (ie, more than likely me) caused her

to have OCD. HMMM.

The sad and scary thing is, at onset when I didn't have any clue what was

wrong with my four-year-old and I was so frightened by the sudden change in

her, if Munchausen's had been suggested by a doc or therapist, I probably

would have believed it possible. Thank goodness for this list which quickly

got me up to speed about OCD and its causes and treatments.

Kathy R in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <midniteswim2@...>

> I am not real good at doing e-mails back unless I feel I can really

> contribute to the Help of your questions. But I do want you all to know I

> read all your mails and feel for all of you..

> I also was..not right out.. but in a round about way accused of Munchausen

> by-proxy.

January 3, 2001

HI Kathy:

Thanks for the comfort on Munchausen's by-proxy accusations. I can assure

you that there is no way you would believe the accuser if this happened to

you. For me, I never spent a moment doubting myself, I knew it was

hogwash. The worst part was how much it upset my mother (formerly a

psychodynamically trained psychologist!) when I told her. Steve's case

manager and his CBT therapist just sighed and were so relieved when I did

not blow my stack. By then I had been blamed plenty for giving Steve such

an anxiety-provoking life, so I just poopoohed it. ALso I had raised

another older child in the same household and he seems NT.

My doubts were around finding competent help, not around what I was doing.

I knew what I was doing wrong, or at least thanks to Internet resources I

was able to discover this for myself. Also by then I had started to do

things which were helping with Steve's OCD and so was encouraged more by

his and my successes than put off by the Munchausen's stuff.

BTW, I just found out that this mh professional's mother allegedly has

undxed OCD. Not sure if I can believe it, but maybe that is why he could

not tell as he was surrounded by a life of normalizing OCD. IF so, he

deserves my compassion and understanding.

Good luck, aloha, Kathy (h)

kathyh@...

At 12:11 PM 01/03/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>Steph and all,

>I feel very naive at learning the number of parents who have had the

>Munchhausen by proxy thing come up while trying to access medical or psych

>help for their OCD kids. The worst suggested of me so far is that I love my

>daughter " too much. " Less love would equal less OCD, or ??? I didn't

>really follow this therapist's thought. However, many many therapists I

>have contacted by phone, looking for E & RP for my daughter, countered by

>saying no, she doesn't need CBT, instead we need to find out why her anxiety

>is so high that she *had* to develop an anxiety disorder--indirectly

>suggesting that something in her life (ie, more than likely me) caused her

>to have OCD. HMMM.

>

>The sad and scary thing is, at onset when I didn't have any clue what was

>wrong with my four-year-old and I was so frightened by the sudden change in

>her, if Munchausen's had been suggested by a doc or therapist, I probably

>would have believed it possible. Thank goodness for this list which quickly

>got me up to speed about OCD and its causes and treatments.

>

>Kathy R in Indiana

January 3, 2001

>>The worst suggested of me so far is that I love my

>>daughter " too much. " Less love would equal less OCD...

I had a similar suggestion made by Zack's *former* psychiatrist. He was in

hysterics one day in her office and I was tearing up, too. She turned on me

and said, " HE doesn't cry when YOU cry, does he?? Then why should YOU be

crying??? " Never mind the fact that I was hugely pregnant at the time with

our fifth child, but my child was in obvious pain!! She also told me that

we were going to " make him crazy " by homeschooling...

Needless to say, we don't see her any more.

January 3, 2001

HI and all,

Your story brought up a painful memory for me, and I'll share it here

just in case anyone else needs reassurance that THEY are not crazy, or a

bad parent who loves too much or some other nonsense. Rather, there's

some awfully bad advice about OCD out there from professionals who are

not knowledgeable about the disorder.

The first doctor we sought help for andra from said we simply needed

to " be firm, " and " crack down, " on her behavior. (She was four years

old at the time.) The only thing this advice accomplished was that the

poor kid practically came unglued, which did make her OCD symptoms

obvious enough for another mental health professional to spot and

diagnose.

Hang in there, Moms and Dads, and don't let anybody tell you that you

somehow " caused, " your child's OCD.

Hugs,

Lesli (SFBay)

wrote:

>

> >>The worst suggested of me so far is that I love my

> >>daughter " too much. " Less love would equal less OCD...

>

> I had a similar suggestion made by Zack's *former* psychiatrist. He was in

> hysterics one day in her office and I was tearing up, too. She turned on me

> and said, " HE doesn't cry when YOU cry, does he?? Then why should YOU be

> crying??? " Never mind the fact that I was hugely pregnant at the time with

> our fifth child, but my child was in obvious pain!! She also told me that

> we were going to " make him crazy " by homeschooling...

>

> Needless to say, we don't see her any more.

>

January 3, 2001

When I first approached the pediatrician about Ian's rages, he immediately stated that they must stem from problems at home since that was the main place they happened. I, of course, went home in tears, certain I was the worst mother in the world. After a few letters from psychiatrists, neurologists, and therapists, he finally figured out that maybe I wasn't causing the problem. Another time, one of the nurse practitioners in his office asked what was wrong with my family since 2 kids bit their nails, Gracie pulled her hair out, and I smoked. I replied that we were a very tense family but were in counseling. Once again, I went home in tears. The next time I was in the office, she made a point of coming in and apologizing for her remark and commended me on seeking therapy for my kids. I'm pretty sure the doctor had spoken to her. He now encourages me and tells me I'm a trailblazer in the search for kids mental health treatment in our area.

Of course, the therapist we were seeing at the time was worthless - telling us about the same thing about firmness, etc. and having us set up endless behavioral charts and point systems that only made the rages worse. But that's another story.

in Texas

January 4, 2001

, we had a similar experience with our first physcologist who suggested that this was caused from a bad potty training experience. What a QUACK, we never went back of course. Cya, Nikki in O'town

August 2, 2004

Wow, you guys all make me feel so lucky...my ped didn't even really know

that existed before Sophia, but she always thought there was something

the matter with her. When I asked her if maybe this was something I was

causing, or something I was exposing her to maybe in the environment, she

went out of her way to reassure me and to show me how I could not possibly

be causing Sophia's fevers and abnormal blood results.

Would anyone tell me the likely side effects of the Prednisone treatments

for someone as young as Sophia(15 months)? The doc told me she didn't want

to start her on treatments just yet, because of her age and the fact that I

stay at home, so she does not attend a daycare. I'm considering going back

to work, and now I'm very concerned about starting the treatments if I do,

bercause of all the horror stories out there.

thanks so much....

Randi, mom of Sophia

St. Louis, MO

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August 2, 2004

Wow, you guys all make me feel so lucky...my ped didn't even really know

that existed before Sophia, but she always thought there was something

the matter with her. When I asked her if maybe this was something I was

causing, or something I was exposing her to maybe in the environment, she

went out of her way to reassure me and to show me how I could not possibly

be causing Sophia's fevers and abnormal blood results.

Would anyone tell me the likely side effects of the Prednisone treatments

for someone as young as Sophia(15 months)? The doc told me she didn't want

to start her on treatments just yet, because of her age and the fact that I

stay at home, so she does not attend a daycare. I'm considering going back

to work, and now I'm very concerned about starting the treatments if I do,

bercause of all the horror stories out there.

thanks so much....

Randi, mom of Sophia

St. Louis, MO

_________________________________________________________________

Planning a family vacation? Check out the MSN Family Travel guide!

http://dollar.msn.com

August 2, 2004

Randi

There are some of us who use Prednisone with no side effects and episodes do not

come closer together. My daughter was older when we started the Prednisone but

she has no problems with it. We use it for her severe episodes and when she gets

an episode near a special occasion ie b-day... . I admit we haven't used it

since May of this year because since starting Cimetidine in January her cycles

seem to be much milder. The side effect of Prednisone are the same no matter

what age you are. It is the long term effects most people worry about but if you

are not using it more often than one dose of 1-2mg/kg every few weeks the long

term side effects are minimal.

Christy

Mom to 4 y/o

Missouri Valley Ia

>>> inoty77@... 08/02/04 03:32PM >>>

Wow, you guys all make me feel so lucky...my ped didn't even really know

that existed before Sophia, but she always thought there was something

the matter with her. When I asked her if maybe this was something I was

causing, or something I was exposing her to maybe in the environment, she

went out of her way to reassure me and to show me how I could not possibly

be causing Sophia's fevers and abnormal blood results.

Would anyone tell me the likely side effects of the Prednisone treatments

for someone as young as Sophia(15 months)? The doc told me she didn't want

to start her on treatments just yet, because of her age and the fact that I

stay at home, so she does not attend a daycare. I'm considering going back

to work, and now I'm very concerned about starting the treatments if I do,

bercause of all the horror stories out there.

thanks so much....

Randi, mom of Sophia

St. Louis, MO

_________________________________________________________________

Planning a family vacation? Check out the MSN Family Travel guide!

http://dollar.msn.com

August 2, 2004