Dad

[Guest guest]

It's been awhile since I have written on the board. Well Dad has

deteroiated severely within the last month. He is barely eating and

breathing has deteroiated but still refuses oxygen. Hospice is still

coming twice a week and social worker each week. Sure depend on

these people and they are so kind and understanding. My mother cries

each and everyday along with myself. I finally had to go to doctors

to get on antidepressants because otherwise I will not be able to

deal with anything. I get phone calls daily friends and family

checking on dad, taking care of dads needs, and talking with mom. It

was getting way to much for me and I was having aniexty attacks and

knew I had to get on something since I am with dad 24/7. Christmas

is coming up and we are all having a hard time with this knowing it

will be his last christmas. Everytime I go shopping I end up crying

in the store. I went last week to buy him his birthday card which

his birthday is the 28th of this month I totally lost it in Hallmark

store. The clerk came up to me and asked me if I was okay I said I

was fine that my father is dying of cancer and that this will be the

last birthday card I will ever buy for him and is very upsetting to

me. Well I made her cry. Oh goodness I felt bad. I should have just

said I am fine but it just came out. Which I felt terrible that I did

that to her. Was sweet on her part but terrible on my side. My aunt

came up from Florida this last week and was a good visit with her and

Dad enjoyed it also.

I hope everyone has a good holiday.

Sharon