why i have adopted family instead of best friends TRIGGER

[Guest guest]

I had a best friend once. Actually I had two, but one of them meant so much more than the other . . . We were in the eighth grade at our respective schools when our vision resource teacher tried to play matchmaker between us. It didn't work out the way the teacher wanted, but I had found a friend for life. Or so I thought.

Nick was everything to me . . . he was the one that, at the age of fourteen, I fell in love with- and no you cannot tell me that I did not know what love was at that age, cuz I'll tell you that you're full-of-it.

I won't make this a long email . . . I could . . . but I won't. I'll save stuff for another time, maybe, if I wanna get into it. Let's just say that I made quite a few mistakes in that friendship, which is the reason why the massive crush I have on someone right now is so hard for me- cuz irt reminds me of Nick in so many ways . . . That's one of the reasons I won't allow myself to fall in love with this person cuz it would cause me too much damned heartache all over again.

Anyway.

Nick left me after almost four years of friendship cuz a teacher told him that I was talking suicide. He couldn't handle it. As well as I think there were other things too but we won't go there now. Let's just say I was too pushy, too immature, yadda yadda. (I don't wanna make those same mistakes again.)

That's why I don't believe in "best friends". They leave/desert you after they can't handle you anymore. A lot of people have said that he wasn't really a friend if he was gonna leave me like he did, causing me to fall into a very deep suicidal depression, but I tell everyone that "you don't know Nick the way I do." I still say that to this day.