Re: For Ruth - Yolks and dogs

September 23, 2004

Sorry for so many questions...........it's just that I've been asking so

many people and they don't seem to have an answer to it

all...............just want Andy to be okay..........

Dear Diane -

I lost my " child with fur " last October - a beautiful black lab mix " little

girl " named Schaefer. She was 14 - so I had some good bonus years with her!

She developed cutaneous lymphoma that August and had several other problems

in the last 2 years including a general slow down like you describe.

I don't know that I have any answers for you either. But I'll tell you what

I learned. I was very worried that I wouldn't know when it was time to let

her go because she always had an extremely high pain tolerance and I was

afraid I wouldn't know when she started suffering. My vet, who is very

caring and wonderful, connected me with a woman she felt had a unique

spiritual connection to animals. so Schaefer and I saw her so I could try to

gain some insight.

I didn't know if I believed in it, but I went. The woman told me that dogs

don't fear death because they don't have egos like their humans plus they

KNOW our spirits are always and forever connected. She said that they are

not as connected to their bodies and this life as we are. Of course I knew

that this could all just be crap to make me feel better. But even with that

thought, it did.

She said that older dogs are much more likely to reflect our emotions back

and that my sadness and fear were felt by Schaefer and being shown back to

me by her as her way of helping me deal. She encouraged me to write down my

feelings about letting Schaefer go when it was time and let her know it was

ok for her to go when she needed to and asking her to help me know when and

then read it to her. I felt stupid doing it, but I wanted to do anything

that would help her " retirement " be good.

So I wrote the letter. The next day I sat her down and read it to her,

blubbering all the way. I can't explain it but she was CLEARLY better and

livelier and happier for weeks after that. More energy, more enthusiasm,

more light and free and we were even able to go for a few longer walks to

the lake again. It gave us both peace & the joy of the time we had left.

And I know this next thing will sound crazy - but I also KNEW the day she

decided she'd had enough - her illness had turned the corner and she was

ready to go. She told me, just like I'd asked her to, as clearly as if

she'd had words.

Andy will be ok when he knows you are. Keep a smile in your heart knowing

that Arthur's spirit is still connected to you all. Show Andy the love you

have for both Arthur and him and show him the joy he brings you.maybe try

the letter thing too. I bet if you concentrate on this way of thinking,

you'll have a similar experience. I believe they know much more than we do

sometimes.

Also IMO a new dog at this late stage would be tough on him and distract you

from doing the things I mentioned above. But you know what is best for you

& your family.trust your gut.

Good luck - I KNOW how tough it is. :-)

Kathy in Chicago

September 23, 2004

Diane, FYI, I sent you an email because it was a VERY long response.

Kathy, I'm so sorry for your loss! You are absolutely right in the

fact that dogs pick up on our emotions and tend to follow our leads.

They are little empaths with fur. I hope this message finds you

doing well!

September 23, 2004

Kathy, I'm so sorry for your loss! You are absolutely right in the

fact that dogs pick up on our emotions and tend to follow our leads.

They are little empaths with fur. I hope this message finds you

doing well!

Ruth - thanks! It was (and still is) sad and I miss her but the way it all

happened made it as easy as something like that can be.I know she's in a

better place, free of pain. And her little happy spirit is near :-)

September 23, 2004

Wow, Kathy. I shed more than a few tears reading your post. Thanks for sharing

your experience.

-Raine (mom to a 9 yr old blind Lab)

" The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven,

not man's. " -Mark Twain

September 23, 2004

> > I fear that his loss and his age is making his transition much

harder right now........ my tearing up when I see him missing Arthur

doesn't help, I'm sure........

>

Do you give anything for his hips/legs? Is he in pain? I give

glucosamine/chondroitin to all my dogs but more to my aging lab.

Like you, it is so hard to see them age. For me it is about keeping

them comfortable and loving them every second they have and also

knowing when to let go. I don't think the hard boiled eggs would

increase his decline at this point. Also if you think he is in pain

from his rear, you can ask the vet about Ascription or something

such as Rimadyl. Rimadyl has it's risks but I feel the pain relief

the dog can get at the later stages in life, outweighs the risks.

BUT check with your vet first.

> Should I get another puppy at this point?......... Andy likes

small dogs, but is impatient with pups.........

>

> Would forcing him to become the 'mentor' to another help bring him

back life?

>

If he is impatient with pups, I'd wait. Why put him through it? Plus

your pup might not get the full attention she/he needed if Andy

needs a bit more TLC at the later stages in his life.

Sounds like you love him wonderfully and are giving him the best

life he can give. Unfortunately, that's all we can do! Give him a

kiss from me!

Colleen

September 24, 2004

Dear Diane - sounds like you have already learned some of the same things I

did when Schaefer died. I talked to her like a person too and you're right,

her vocabulary was big too. I can tell you are a great dog mom and yes, 14

good years with your pups is certainly a blessing! :-) I think the key is

that we each (human & canine) find the ways that work best for us.

I didn't want a new dog for a while after Schaefer passed - but yesterday

when I was leaving for the gym, there was a 9 week old yellow lab out front

trying to learn how to not hate her leash. Well maybe her owner was trying

and she just wanted to be free of the weird thing! But it was so sweet and

cute to watch. I think I'm ready for a new buddy.

Kathy in Chicago

_____

September 24, 2004