Re: visit to his doctor/Strattera/cutting himself

[Guest guest]

Hi Betty,

I would try not to make too much out of this, as it seems to have been an attention-getting thing, and if you give it much, he might escalate it. (In the meantime, lock up the sharp knives;) My son one time when he was some years younger got very upset and was talking about something more drastic like that, and I told him he would bleed, and he discarded that idea. Now if he is upset, he talks about running away instead, but quickly gets over that idea...it is typical for kids to say something like that once in a while. It lasts about 5 seconds with him.

I would say, maybe you could do a token system at the meeting, where he earns tokens(of whatever you decide, it could be nickles, etc. he could turn in for something)for saying positive things and staying on task with what is going on in the meeting. If he wants to say something, see if you can "screen" it first, my son gets off-task so I will often ask him what he plans to say in a similar situation as he may try to discuss something off-topic. I would reward him for good commenting and complimenting people(part of a socialization program run by one of Dr.Mulicks then-interns was teaching my son to notice positive things about people and comment on them).

I would try to notice his good behavior (his mom should that is:) and tell him how wonderful he is being sitting nicely, contributing appropriately, etc. so he is getting lots of attention from her for the positive things he is doing, and if possible, separate the kids so one is on one side of her, the other on the other, and she gives him lots of attention at the meetings, etc. so he is kept distracted by interacting with his mom and trying to act positively to get more of her attention.

The other kids she can give more of her attention to at times at home. It is important for her to have standards of behavior that are equal for him, and not let him get away with being mean to his brother, but not let it become an attention getter, in other words, she tells him to stop, but gives tons of attention for good behavior, so he gets far more attention for that, and far more rewarded for it....and people should understand sibling rivalry and that kids will do that kind of thing. I try to think positively about my kids arguing that it is a typical trait, but it has been hard this week as they were only in school one day!

Glad the Strattera seems to be working, it might be possible to give some in the a.m. and some p.m. to even the effect, that is what we do:) take care, Sally

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the good advice, Sally. We did not give 's behavior with the knife a lot of attention except for me to tell him that if he cuts himself, he might need stitches and his mom telling him that she loved him and did not hate him. The problem was that we all had been bragging to about how proud we are of how well he has been doing in school.

The idea to get to tell good things about about is a great. I wonder just what he would say if we promised him a reward for saying 'good' things about his brother instead. is very, very into rewards.

BETTY ANN-62 yo, possibly undx'd Bipolar grandma and guardian to

ANDREW - 12 yo-- Bipolar/ADHD, HomeschooledEVAN - 9 yo-- nonverbal autismDAVID 7 yo Bipolar/ADHD

and mother to ANDREA -33 yo, their mom -Bipolar/ADHD

wife to BOB - 72 yo, a very tired grandpa

[Guest guest]

YAY!!!!!! on the 80% improvement ! LOL, but dont all siblings "trash Talk " ? Mine sure did, CB's Daddy called his sister a "treasure troll " and told her (in front of his friends) "to go back under her bridge " along with stupid, ugly, fat, ECT. My daughter would just sit back, laugh and wait till he needed money ! LOL Then the fun would start...Ah, kids !

CB's Granny

[Guest guest]

Betty, that is so encouraging that the Strattera is helping !! Thank you God!! Pat K