Guest guest Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Well, those of you who reminded me that I need my sisters (and brothers) were right. I want to thank you all for your love and support. I think things are getting a bit better. and Bob seem to be the ones that are showing the most anguish. I handle it or think I do and then I blow up at Bob for picking at or worrying over different things that seem so trivial to me. and Bob both have been doing more sleeping to hide to escape their pain. I try to keep busy but find myself forgetting things that I was suppose to do. is berating herself for being so mean to Jim the past couple of weeks. I told her that I knew she was being so mean because 1. she was afraid that we would lend him money that he could not pay and she felt he was taking advantage of us and 2. she was jealous that we cared so much for him. Now the two of them are worry that the 'not quite ex' will not keep her word to me to let us know about any funeral arrangements. I was too upset Tuesday to ask her for her phone number and it is unlisted. I mean I did not have any reason before to have her phone number. Since reading the report on the accident, we are no longer afraid that it was intentional. Jim drove fast, slept little and should have been in bed by the 3 a.m. he was still driving around during. He drifted off the road while in the fast lane, over-corrected, swung across both lanes and went over the embankment, rolling the truck several times. He was not wearing his seat belt and died at the scene of extensive injuries. was having visions of body parts all over the place until we corrected his ideas of extensive injuries but is still trouble by thoughts of him laying there in pain and none of us being there for him. 's mental health worker suggested that write a letter to his father, telling him all the things that he would have liked to have told him if he knew that was the last time he would see his father. He suggested that keep one copy for later years and that he send one copy to his dad by burning it in the back yard or fireplace. He also suggested that write about some of the things that he did with his dad while they are still fresh in his mind. was angry tonight at Jim for coming back into our lives when he separated with his second wife. She thought it would have been easier if we had not been around him but I do not think so and told her so. At least the boys have got to see their dad more in the past few months that they have seen him in the past 7 years. Their stepmother really could not stand either boy and used to take her children to visit her parents out of town when Jim got Evan for overnight. After her son left the door unlocked so Evan got out and was lost 2 hours, she did not want Evan over at all. I am so glad that has a worker at mental health already that is so good with him. Even a child without his problems would be needing someone to talk to. is afraid that we will have even more problems with and I am just afraid to think about it. One good thing that has come out of it, at least for the time being, is that 's stepdad is trying to do things with him and to give something to do. And Mark is going through his own time of grief over the murder of one of his friends the very same night. Her boyfriend murdered in an argument. It was the second murder in our small town in two days, both women by their husband/boyfriend. It is such a time of pain and confusion but for the most part it has brought us together more. I am sure that the prayers sent up for us have been a major part in bringing us comfort and bringing us closer. Once more thank you all. BETTY ANN-61 yo, probably undx'd bipolar grandma and guardian to ANDREW - 12 yo-- Bipolar/ADHD, Homeschooled EVAN - 9 yo-- nonverbal autism DAVID 7 yo Bipolar/ADHD and mother to ANDREA -32 yo, their mom -Bipolar/ADHD wife to BOB - 72 yo, a very tired grandpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Betty, I'm so glad you didn't leave us. It sounds like you are doing good work in processing all these painful events. I am thankful that has a good person who he can talk to. My experience is that children learn by our example how to deal with loss, and you are a wonderful example. I will continue to keep you on my mind, in my heart, and in my prayers. Pat K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.