Guest guest Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being old... How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at the walls or watch TV.So last week, when the President suggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen Week by cheering up a senior citizen, I decided to do just that. I would call on my new neighbor, an elderly retired gentleman, recently widowed, and who, I presumed, had moved in with his married daughter because he was too old to take care of himself.I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call (some old people cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day. When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door dressed in tennis shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond."I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced myself, "but I'm due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semifinals today." "Oh that's all right," I said. "I baked you some cookies...""Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need for bridge club tomorrow! Thanks so much!"I continued, "...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay! I'll just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady.""Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called to remind her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She mentioned at breakfast (at which house??!) that she had an appointment for a tint job."So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83); she was in the hospital ........working in the gift shop.I called my aunt (age 74);.....but she was on vacation in China.I called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot;..... he was on his honeymoon. So now I dread old age more than ever. I just don't think I'm up to it!!!!! God Bless America Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 That is a good one Helen, keep active is todays motto, throw out the rocking chair! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Very Cute! Love It! >From: angelbear1129@... >Reply- > >Subject: OLD AGE (joke) >Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2004 00:58:41 EDT > >I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being >old... How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at >the >walls or watch TV. > >So last week, when the President suggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen >Week by cheering up a senior citizen, I decided to do just that. I would >call >on my new neighbor, an elderly retired gentleman, recently widowed, and >who, I >presumed, had moved in with his married daughter because he was too old to >take care of himself. > >I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call (some old people >cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day. When I >rang >the doorbell this " old guy " came to the door dressed in tennis shorts and a >polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond. > > " I'm sorry I can't invite you in, " he said when I introduced myself, " but >I'm >due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semifinals today. " > > " Oh that's all right, " I said. " I baked you some cookies... " > > " Great! " he interrupted, snatching the box. " Just what I need for bridge >club >tomorrow! Thanks so much! " > >I continued, " ...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay! I'll >just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady. " > > " Don't bother, " he said. " Gran's not home; I know. I just called to remind >her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She >mentioned at breakfast (at which house??!) that she had an appointment for >a tint >job. " > >So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83); she was in the >hospital ... > >.....working in the gift shop. > >I called my aunt (age 74); >.....but she was on vacation in China. > >I called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot; > >..... he was on his honeymoon. > > >So now I dread old age more than ever. >I just don't think I'm up to it!!!!! > > God Bless America Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Good ones! -- OLD AGE (joke) I have always dreaded old age. I cannot imagine anything worse than being old... How awful it must be to have nothing to do all day long but stare at the walls or watch TV.So last week, when the President suggested we all celebrate Senior Citizen Week by cheering up a senior citizen, I decided to do just that. I would call on my new neighbor, an elderly retired gentleman, recently widowed, and who, I presumed, had moved in with his married daughter because he was too old to take care of himself.I baked a batch of cookies, and, without bothering to call (some old people cannot hear the phone), I went off to brighten this old guy's day. When I rang the doorbell this "old guy" came to the door dressed in tennis shorts and a polo shirt, looking about as ancient and decrepit as Donny Osmond."I'm sorry I can't invite you in," he said when I introduced myself, "but I'm due at the Racquet Club at two. I'm playing in the semifinals today." "Oh that's all right," I said. "I baked you some cookies...""Great!" he interrupted, snatching the box. "Just what I need for bridge club tomorrow! Thanks so much!"I continued, "...and just thought we'd visit a while. But that's okay! I'll just trot across the street and call on Granny Grady.""Don't bother," he said. "Gran's not home; I know. I just called to remind her of our date to go dancing tonight. She may be at the beauty shop. She mentioned at breakfast (at which house??!) that she had an appointment for a tint job."So I went home and called my Mother's cousin (age 83); she was in the hospital ........working in the gift shop.I called my aunt (age 74);.....but she was on vacation in China.I called my husband's uncle (age 79). I forgot;..... he was on his honeymoon. So now I dread old age more than ever. I just don't think I'm up to it!!!!! God Bless America~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMessage Archives-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Chats at /chatBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~When nothing is sure, everything is possible.--- Margaret Drabble~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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