Re: need insight - asking 4 help

[Guest guest]

PatientSpirit,

You have been through quite a lot. I'm unfortunately of no use in the home sales department, but depression and body image problems I may be able to help you with. I guess I should suggest you see some kind of therapist or speak to someone about your depression. What you are going through is not uncommon, but it is very difficult. I've never lost a breast, but I've known many women who have. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Have you talked to a doctor about your depression? Have you seen a therapist? Is your husband supportive and understanding of your feelings? Have you tried any breast prosthetics? For me, the best way for me to heal myself emotionally is to get it all out. We are friends here, and we are here to embrace you.

Hugs,

need insight - asking 4 help

Hello. I am new here. My name is Lynn, or I go by PatientSpirit. I really need guidance and clarification. I turned 56 on 02/14/2004 (02/14/1948). Prior to my 53rd birthday I was really healthy and strong all my life.............In August 2001, as a result of poor contact lens hygiene (my fault) I acquired a rare eye disease called Acanthamoeba Keratitis. This is a very rare and extremely painful disease which erodes the cornea and lasts for months. Got over it. Have had a corneal transplant and many other eye surgeries since. Can mostly see now with glasses.In April 2002 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer - invasive ductal carcinoma, stage three: 5 out of 14 lymphnodes from my armpit was positive. I went to sleep in the OR anticipating a lumpectomy and woke up without a left breast due the 8 cm tumor my surgeon found while I was under anesthesia. I submitted to lengthy, radical chemotherapy and radiation treatments over the next 12 + months.On April 1, 2004 I had an emergency appendectomy. On May 2, 2004 I had my (no longer used) sub-clavial chemo port removed as it had caused me a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in my upper right arm.It is now July 2004. I am so frigging depressed I don't know what to do or what the future holds. There are not too many body parts left to fall off. I grieve for my breast. I used to be a sexually active, sensual person who now feels like a freak. Every time I get out of the shower and look in the mirror I cry.My husband and I used to have our own business - an assisted living home for people with Alzheimers, within our own home. When I got so sick we had to close it. This past September, my husband went back to his old job as a radio engineer at a local station. We barely get by.We have a dream............our dream is, since we have just a little equity in our home, we may be able to (after figuring out how to settle some tax issues) sell our house. We would like to settle on a few acres with our dogs and parrots, in a little house and finally be debt free. We would like to run an animal rescue operation. We also would like to know our physical and fiscal health will be ok. Can anyone address these issues and give me some input?I thank any and all for your input,PatientSpiritsville, MI~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMessage Archives-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Chats at /chatBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./links Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~When nothing is sure, everything is possible.--- Margaret Drabble~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group!

My name is and I am a SAHM to 6 boys ranging in age from 1 year old to 17 years old.

I have hypothyroidism.mitral valve prolapse,menieres disease,and a few other misc. illnesses.Some still undiagnosed.

I am glad that you joined us! I look forward to getting to know you.

-- need insight - asking 4 help

Hello. I am new here. My name is Lynn, or I go by PatientSpirit. I

really need guidance and clarification. I turned 56 on 02/14/2004

(02/14/1948). Prior to my 53rd birthday I was really healthy and

strong all my life.............

In August 2001, as a result of poor contact lens hygiene (my fault) I

acquired a rare eye disease called Acanthamoeba Keratitis. This is a

very rare and extremely painful disease which erodes the cornea and

lasts for months. Got over it. Have had a corneal transplant and

many other eye surgeries since. Can mostly see now with glasses.

In April 2002 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer -

invasive ductal carcinoma, stage three: 5 out of 14 lymphnodes from

my armpit was positive. I went to sleep in the OR anticipating a

lumpectomy and woke up without a left breast due the 8 cm tumor my

surgeon found while I was under anesthesia. I submitted to lengthy,

radical chemotherapy and radiation treatments over the next 12 +

months.

On April 1, 2004 I had an emergency appendectomy. On May 2, 2004 I

had my (no longer used) sub-clavial chemo port removed as it had

caused me a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in my upper right arm.

It is now July 2004. I am so frigging depressed I don't know what to

do or what the future holds. There are not too many body parts left

to fall off. I grieve for my breast. I used to be a sexually

active, sensual person who now feels like a freak. Every time I get

out of the shower and look in the mirror I cry.

My husband and I used to have our own business - an assisted living

home for people with Alzheimers, within our own home. When I got so

sick we had to close it. This past September, my husband went back

to his old job as a radio engineer at a local station. We barely get

by.

We have a dream............our dream is, since we have just a little

equity in our home, we may be able to (after figuring out how to

settle some tax issues) sell our house. We would like to settle on a

few acres with our dogs and parrots, in a little house and finally be

debt free. We would like to run an animal rescue operation. We also

would like to know our physical and fiscal health will be ok. Can

anyone address these issues and give me some input?

I thank any and all for your input,

PatientSpirit

sville, MI

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

The Being Sick Community

Message Archives-/messages

Chat:- Scheduled Chats at

/chat

Bookmarks:-

Add a website URL you have found useful.

/links

Personal Complaints or problems:-

Please contact a moderator

email: -owner

Subscription Details:-

1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.

2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.

3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.

To modify your subscription settings please visit:-

/join

To subscribe or unsubscribe please email:-

-subscribe

-unsubscribe

This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.

--- Margaret Drabble

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Many of you have been very kind to me. I appreciate your caring comments and suggestions. Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.

This post-illness depression is overwhelming to me. I read your comments and suggestions, but feel powerless to act. The books – well, I used to be an avid reader. The library is across the street. I no longer read. The support groups – well, other than online groups, I am not a joiner type.

Lately I am more and more reluctant to leave the house. I feel safe here. I never used to be like that. I am a prisoner in my own mind. I feel like I am in a deep, dark hole. I can look up and see light. I can see life going on above me. I can remember living and laughing and loving. I used to be a very upbeat, productive, helpful, nurturing and loving person. I used to embrace life!

I want it back. I want Lynn back. But, right now I feel totally emotionally crippled by the untoward health events of the last three years. I am frozen in time. I cannot lift this dark veil around me.

I am simply appealing to you for compassion, prayer, and healing powers, whatever you can do or say to help me fight this and lift this ugly blanket of sadness.

Thank you again,Lynn (aka PatientSpirit)

[Guest guest]

PatientSpirit/Lynn,

One of my favorite quotes is 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step'. I believe you can lift the dark veil. The hardest part is the first step. Many of us have been where you are now, it is a very low place to be. You are in my thoughts and prayers, but I feel I must tell you that only you can actually change your circumstances. It helps to vent frustrations here, and I believe that is what helped me to face my fears of that first step. The only thing that helps keep your sanity in a situation like yours is doing something that makes you feel good. Anything. Once you are on the bottom, the only place you can go, is up.

Hugs,

Re: need insight - asking 4 help

Many of you have been very kind to me. I appreciate your caring comments and suggestions. Thank you for your thoughtful feedback.

This post-illness depression is overwhelming to me. I read your comments and suggestions, but feel powerless to act. The books – well, I used to be an avid reader. The library is across the street. I no longer read. The support groups – well, other than online groups, I am not a joiner type.

Lately I am more and more reluctant to leave the house. I feel safe here. I never used to be like that. I am a prisoner in my own mind. I feel like I am in a deep, dark hole. I can look up and see light. I can see life going on above me. I can remember living and laughing and loving. I used to be a very upbeat, productive, helpful, nurturing and loving person. I used to embrace life!

I want it back. I want Lynn back. But, right now I feel totally emotionally crippled by the untoward health events of the last three years. I am frozen in time. I cannot lift this dark veil around me.

I am simply appealing to you for compassion, prayer, and healing powers, whatever you can do or say to help me fight this and lift this ugly blanket of sadness.

Thank you again,Lynn (aka PatientSpirit)~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~ The Being Sick CommunityMessage Archives-/messagesChat:- Scheduled Chats at /chatBookmarks:-Add a website URL you have found useful./linksPersonal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator email: -owner Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into groups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit:- /joinTo subscribe or unsubscribe please email:--subscribe -unsubscribe This group is not intended to diagnose or treat illnesses. No one on this group is qualified to diagnose medical conditions. If you feel you need medical attention, seek the advice of a qualified physician.~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~When nothing is sure, everything is possible.--- Margaret Drabble~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Hi Lynn,

Welcome to the group... I'm Helen 53 from NW Ohio... I have a few things wrong also... I'm so sorry that you have had so many things go wrong ( Do you talk with anyone and talk about all your fears??? Talking is a Very good medicine... How are you doing now??? Dort on here lives up by you there... Keep Right on talking to us about all your fears!!! We'll help in any way that we can...

(((Angel Hugs )))

Helen

Hello. I am new here. My name is Lynn, or I go by PatientSpirit. I really need guidance and clarification. I turned 56 on 02/14/2004 (02/14/1948). Prior to my 53rd birthday I was really healthy and strong all my life.............In August 2001, as a result of poor contact lens hygiene (my fault) I acquired a rare eye disease called Acanthamoeba Keratitis. This is a very rare and extremely painful disease which erodes the cornea and lasts for months. Got over it. Have had a corneal transplant and many other eye surgeries since. Can mostly see now with glasses.In April 2002 I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer - invasive ductal carcinoma, stage three: 5 out of 14 lymphnodes from my armpit was positive. I went to sleep in the OR anticipating a lumpectomy and woke up without a left breast due the 8 cm tumor my surgeon found while I was under anesthesia. I submitted to lengthy, radical chemotherapy and radiation treatments over the next 12 + months.On April 1, 2004 I had an emergency appendectomy. On May 2, 2004 I had my (no longer used) sub-clavial chemo port removed as it had caused me a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in my upper right arm.It is now July 2004. I am so frigging depressed I don't know what to do or what the future holds. There are not too many body parts left to fall off. I grieve for my breast. I used to be a sexually active, sensual person who now feels like a freak. Every time I get out of the shower and look in the mirror I cry.My husband and I used to have our own business - an assisted living home for people with Alzheimers, within our own home. When I got so sick we had to close it. This past September, my husband went back to his old job as a radio engineer at a local station. We barely get by.We have a dream............our dream is, since we have just a little equity in our home, we may be able to (after figuring out how to settle some tax issues) sell our house. We would like to settle on a few acres with our dogs and parrots, in a little house and finally be debt free. We would like to run an animal rescue operation. We also would like to know our physical and fiscal health will be ok. Can anyone address these issues and give me some input?I thank any and all for your input,PatientSpiritsville, MI