Re: new __ answer this email PLEASE!

[Guest guest]

CZ

((((( COMFORTING HUGS )))))

)

You've come a Long way!!! So Proud of You!!!

Helen

abuse is hard. i was physically mentally and sexually abused for years as a child. going to the police and seeking help was the hardest thing i did but it was the right thing to do. i found out that i was not alone and a lot of other people understood what i had gone through. i tried to kill myself a few times but i didn't do a very good job of it because i'm still here. i had anorexia nervosa for a long time and my autism made the whole process of communicating about what happened and recovering somewhat from it harder. the effects of abuse like that doesnt go away ever but talking about it with people who understand helps. and sometimes seeing justice done to the abuser helps in recovery. i don't do the forgive and forget stuff. i don't need to tell him i forgive him to move on in my life and i stop listening to anyone who tells me that i do. but the most important thing is to talk about it and let out the feelings and keep telling yorself that you did nothing wrong and it wasn't your fault. you aren't bad because of it even if it might feel like it's soiled you forever. i felt like that for a long time and i sometimes still do like it had ruined me and made me dirty and i didnt want to live. but it isn't true. you are a special person as we all are and it was so unfair that the nasty man did that to you. this group is for rambling and venting and sharing and people on here understand. never worry that you say too much or ramble on here. it's all ok.CZ

"A very important part of the joy of living is the joy of giving." - Buck Surnames I am following:Mc Intosh/Mac Intosh/MackIntosh -- Lambert -- Sweeny --Osterhout -- Spring -- Fauver -- Tilden -- Handy -- Haller -- Leininger -- Beckham -- Godden -- Brown -- -- Barbara -- Losure -- Spade -- Ferris -- -- Chroninger/Croninger -- Myles -- Weirich -- Shonk -- Inches -- Burditt -- 's -- Frosch/Frozeck -- Turrittin -- Proudfoot/Stoltzfuss -- Mattocks -- Oliver -- Pethangelbear1129@..

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the welcome....

when my mom was sick the first time I didn't have anyone to talk to

or to share anything with so this time I thought I'd reach out

somewhat...because I don't want to go through all that other stuff

again...alone...it was hard and at one point I contemplated suicide

because of my mom's boyfriend's abuse...but I didn't go through with

it...took the pills but just had a huge scare in the hospital from

it...and then I knew I needed to just be there for my mom.

but right now I'm just stressing about it...my mom getting sick at

this time is not good....the time line in my life has been

weird....at age 9 my little sister died....age 11, my dad left and

didn't see me for 5 years....age 12 my mom had an abusive

boyfriend..but did leave him....age 13 my mom got a new boyfriend and

then she got sick...and he started abusing me, verbally, physically,

sexually.......and finally at 16 my mom got all better and that

boyfriend went to jail for possession of illegal substance ((GHB,

gamma hydroxy butyrate, date rape drug which he wanted to use on

me)).......my dad came back and things were fine...but then I

rebelled against my dad as I resented him so much...for his fault in

my sister's death and for his abandoning us....I was in an abusive

relationship until Jan this year...then I started therapy and all the

stuff from my past came out....my brother has had trouble in the past

and lived with my dad for a few years while my mom was sick...and now

he's dating my abusive ex-boyfriend's sister...and they live in my

mom's garage apt. and are having a baby soon.......my dad left again

now...met a new girl...got her pregnant in fact....so he's gone...and

my mom met a new guy and now she's sick again...is it me or does it

sound like a repeat somewhat....it's just stressing me out right now

I guess......I'm so sorry to ramble...just my thoughts come crazy

like that sometimes........I'm 17 & 1/2...will be 18 in Dec.....that

old boyfriend is not in the picture...he did just get out of jail a

short while ago and I have a protective order and I'm currently

working with my therapist and a cop...and maybe going to court over

some of the things the guy did to me....I talk to my therapist a lot

> Hi ,

> Welcome to the group... I'm Helen, 53 from NW Ohio... You did

just fine

> rambling on ) You have a lot to talk about... Venting is a Good

thing to do

> to help cope with all that we go through...

> , may I ask how old you are??? I'm assuming your under

18... Is the

> old boyfriend back in the picture again??? Sweetie there is a lot

of Help out

> there for you... You do NOT have to face this alone... First off,

that creep

> that hurt you so bad, could go to jail for a Long, Long time!!!

Are you

> afraid because he is out??? Has he seen you sinse getting out of

jail???

> , you need to talk to someone that you can really trust...

Tell them

> your fears about your Mom and how scared you are... Tell them

about what that

> creep did to you and what your afraid of, just like you talked to

us... Talk

> to a teacher, a minister, a principle, a counseler, a policeman, a

Doctor, a

> Nurse, a neighbor, a Mother of one of your Friends... Don't be

afraid to talk

> to someone... They may be able to show you ways in helping your

Mother and

> yourself...

> As for your Mother asking you who you would like to live with,

that doesn't

> mean she will die, that is giving her the security in knowing that

if

> something would ever happen to her then you would be taken care of

where you would

> want to be, and it will put her mind at ease... All of us Parents

worry about

> that question, who will take care of the children if!

> So telling her is just helping her to have one less thing on her

mind...

> Please keep talking to us... will be able to give you

the info you

> so desperatly need as soon as she reads your email...

> ((( Tender Loving Hugs )))

> Helen

>

> I'm new here...I don't know exactly what to say I

guess...but...here

> goes....my mom had breast cancer a few years ago...she had

> chemotherapy then a surgery and they thought they got it all ...but

> then they had to give her more chemotherapy and another surgery and

> then some radiation and finally the doctors were satisfied that

they

> did in fact get it all.....and she was fine for a few years.

>

> Now...her hip was bothering her and she went for a bone scan a week

> or so ago and the doctor called her into his office and told her

that

> it's cancer...and it's in her bones now or something....she had to

> have another scan to see if it is anywhere else...as of now they

> think it's in her hip, spine and somewhere else that I can't

> remember....and it may be in her breast again. ...she has to get

> radiation this coming week and a 15 minute injection.

>

> This is all scary and I don't handle these things very well...at

the

> time she was sick the first time, she had a boyfriend, which in

time

> took advantage of the fact that my mom was sick and still

> working...he verbally, physically, and sexually abused me for the

two

> and a half years that my mom was sick that first time....he didn't

> work and what little money he had...he spent on drugs and

beer....my

> mom did work so that we could eat...we didn't have a phone and we

> didn't turn on a lot of lights during the day for fear that the

> electric bill would be too high for my mom to pay it.

>

> Things did settle down after she got better and that boyfriend went

> to jail...he's out now as he only went to jail for breaking

> parole...but anyways.......sorry to ramble

>

> My mind is in a crazy state...I keep thinking back to the time when

> my mom was sick before...and how rough it was...and in my mind it

> could be worse this time and I hate it.

>

> My mom asked me a question the other day...that she has asked me a

> few times before....she asked me who I would want to live with if

> anything were to happen to her...my cousin or my dad....I hate that

> question...and I just shrug and say I don't know...because to

> actually answer that question would mean I would have to admit that

I

> think it's a possibility that she could die....and I never ever

want

> to think that.

>

> Sorry to ramble...just voicing what's in my mind

>

>

>

> " A very important part of the joy of living is the joy of giving. "

>

> - Buck

>

> Surnames I am following:

>

> Mc Intosh/Mac Intosh/MackIntosh -- Lambert -- Sweeny --Osterhout --

Spring --

> Fauver -- Tilden -- Handy -- Haller -- Leininger -- Beckham --

Godden --

> Brown -- -- Barbara -- Losure -- Spade -- Ferris --

--

> Chroninger/Croninger -- Myles -- Weirich -- Shonk -- Inches --

Burditt -- 's --

> Frosch/Frozeck -- Turrittin -- Proudfoot/Stoltzfuss -- Mattocks --

Oliver -- Peth

>

> angelbear1129@a...