Guest guest Posted April 18, 2000 Report Share Posted April 18, 2000 Is there any way to educate her therapist or make her therapist aware that s/he needs educating? My son's therapist allows my husband or I to attend at least part of his session so we can see what is happening, and she goes over the homework with us so we can help during the week. Judy volley4@... wrote: > > Kathy, > I have a question regarding demanding my daughter learn to boss back a > little at a time. We found out thru talking to her intensly today > that her therapist has done nothing to help her w/ cognitive or boss > back! I am so angry. I have really noticed an accelerated amount of > compulsions in the last couple of weeks. Tonight I set some limits > for her. Time to be done in the bathroom in the a.m. b/4 school as > she is making her sister > late. She can't come home for lunch(open campus) as she has to do > many routines and it is upsetting to her. She has to now watch > certain re-run shows everyday at 4:00 and prior to this she has to > shower hurridly in my bathroom to meet the deadline. She never leaves > her room anymore. I am setting some ocd limits and trying to help her > boss back. You have said over and over that it will get easier over > time. She agreed to some, but > hates me right now. I have noticed this last week, just trying out a > few things to see, that if I don't answer about her knee hurting or > other sickness, she moves on and drops it. It is now not an issue. > That tells me that it works. I am so angry about this so called > therapist. We have worked so hard at home to help her, and this > person has really only hindered our success and her growth. > I told her she needed to take control of ocd. I said " aren't you > tired of ocd telling you what to do? " It is time w/ summer coming > that you take control of a few things, missing out on shows, changing > times of shower for other things more important. Tonight she wanted > chicken and hubby and I wanted Taco Bell. I told her if she had to > have chicken then she needed to miss her show and go w/ dad. She > started shaking and crying and > hates me w/ a passion. My husband started to give in, I told him to > please back me. Well SHE DID GO JUST NOW. That tells me she took a > tiny step. > I need advice and a lot of support because my emotions are so low. No > one likes to make their child cry. I know she is suffering inside. I > feel after all I have read, this is the only way to begin. I have to > help because their are no therapists in this area. > Please help me. I am desperate for support and to know if I am > handling this wrong! > Lori-desperate in ca > > Kathy Hammes wrote: > > > Hi : > > > > I doubt there is a parent alive who has not been involved with their > > OCDer's compulsions. When you say " I PROMISE " you are unfortunately > > participating in OCD. While this gives very temporary relief you > can see > > that pretty quickly it just makes things worse. > > > > Dealing with OCD means facing two-hour or much longer meltdowns if > you are > > to extract yourself from having OCD boss you around. It is much > easier to > > do this with the help of a CBT therapist who could come to your home > around > > bed time and set up graduated exposures to work on this. One of the > > important things our OCDers have to learn through E & RP is that they > can > > face a spike in their anxiety and in time it will get better. It > may be > > better to work on symptoms lower on the hierarchy but this one > certainly is > > interfering considerably with family life and should be a focus of > > treatment as early on as possible. > > > > What we decided was that it was more important to recover from OCD > than to > > have academic achievement at school. The decision was taken out of > our > > hands as pretty fast Steve got too sick to even go to school and > have any > > academic achievement. This is a very hard time in the journey of > dealing > > with OCD, please know that it will get better even if that seems > completely > > unlikely now. > > > > Bedtime is a commonly tough time for OCDers as their symptoms tend > to > > become more severe as they let down their guard and prepare for > sleep. > > Take care, aloha, Kathy (H) > > kathyh@... > > > > At 08:11 PM 04/18/2000 +0900, you wrote: > > >Does anyone get roped into helping with compulsions. Part of my > daughters > > >nightly compulsion in to tell me, " I'm going to bed now " so don't > put on the > > >dishwasher, dryer or washing machine (She can't stand any noise > when she is > > >in bed) anyway I have to say I PROMISE every night. I know that > sounds > > >simple, but it's not as it has to be said perfectly. This can > sometimes take > > >five to ten times of saying it. I have tried to tell her I won't do > it, as > > >this is not my problem, but this ends in a huge meltdown that can > last for > > >two hours. With her yelling and screaming that she won't be able to > sleep > > >all night if I don't do it and then will do poorly on tests at > school. > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > Avoid the lines and visit avis.com for quick and easy online > > reservations. Enjoy a compact car nationwide for only $29 a day! > > Click here for more details. > > 1/3011/3/_/531051/_/956081766/ > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... > . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. > The Archives and Features List for the may be > accessed by going to , enter your email address > and password, then point and click. Subscription issues, problems, > or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at > harkins@... . > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . > In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The > Archives and Features List for the may be > accessed by going to , enter your email address > and password, then point and click. Subscription issues, problems, > or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at > harkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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