Another question/germs

[Guest guest]

OK ... are we the ONLY parents who are actually GLAD when our kids don't wash

their hands????

Peggikaye ... Oklahoma

[Guest guest]

Hi Stacey,

It is always good to nip things in the bud. That being said, it is also easy to

start getting anxious about everything your child does as a possible OCD thing

developing. Many times I have struggles with looking at everything through the

OCD lens! I think most of us have. That is one reason this list is so helpful.

So here's my experience with Ava and " germs " . She won't use the wooden bathroom

pass at school because she figures that the people using it don't wash their

hands before they pick it back up after using the toilet. At first I wondered

if this was the start of a germ obsession. So far it isn't. The other day we

were at the museum and we went to the butterfly house. Ava reached down to let

a butterfly walk onto her finger from a lilly pad and a frog jumped out and ATE

it (the butterfly, not the finger!!). She was concerned for awhile about " frog

germs " . Then we went to get ice cream and a bee flew into her smoothie. She

said " First frog germs now bee poop, what

else could possibly happen wrong? " . Of course then I pretended to pick my nose

and wipe it on her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at my immaturity,

but although she talked about it, she never did wash her hands.

One more story. There is a great pizza place downtown where lots of college

kids go. It's kind of an " alternative " style, the workers have rasta braids or

rainbow dyed hair, lots of piercings etc.. Ava loves it and loves the pizza.

But she notices the workers are a bit grungy, notices their fingernails are

dirty and notices there is no handwashing sink in sight (you can watch them make

the pizza). Most children wouldn't even notice this stuff but she does. Yet,

she still eats there.

So for her I think she will always be a bit prissy about germs and smells too.

But it doesn't interfere with her life at the moment. I know it could develop

into something else at some time but I think by getting her help now

(medication, CBT for other stuff if she'll do it) gives her the tools to deal

with whatever morphs into a problem in the future.

I think it's good to be aware of what the next thing might be as long as you

also remember (sing with me ) to take care of yourself so that you can

remain on somewhat of an even keel and not start your own descent down the

rabbit hole of anxiety. (Been there, done that). And don't worry about not

contributing to the list, your questions are a contribution! I learn stuff both

from questions AND answers! So keep 'em coming.

Dana in NC

[Guest guest]

Dana~

Thanks for your thoughts. I do feel like I am walking on eggshells wondering what is going to spin wildly out of control next. And I am certainly experiencing a heightened sense of anxiety these days. I think that because it got so bad for awhile there I am just overly worried about things getting worse again. However, the light at the end of the tunnel is the fact that our appointment is THIS Thurs. Am I one of the only people in the world that can't wait to take her five year old to a psychiatrist??????

Thank you again, it's nice to know that not everything that appears to be ocd will end up at the extreme.

Dana <clayvon@...> wrote:

Hi Stacey,It is always good to nip things in the bud. That being said, it is also easy to start getting anxious about everything your child does as a possible OCD thing developing. Many times I have struggles with looking at everything through the OCD lens! I think most of us have. That is one reason this list is so helpful.So here's my experience with Ava and "germs". She won't use the wooden bathroom pass at school because she figures that the people using it don't wash their hands before they pick it back up after using the toilet. At first I wondered if this was the start of a germ obsession. So far it isn't. The other day we were at the museum and we went to the butterfly house. Ava reached down to let a butterfly walk onto her finger from a lilly pad and a frog jumped out and ATE it (the butterfly, not the finger!!). She was concerned for awhile about "frog germs". Then we went to get ice cream and a bee flew into her smoothie. She said" First frog germs now bee poop, whatelse could possibly happen wrong?". Of course then I pretended to pick my nose and wipe it on her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at my immaturity, but although she talked about it, she never did wash her hands.One more story. There is a great pizza place downtown where lots of college kids go. It's kind of an "alternative" style, the workers have rasta braids or rainbow dyed hair, lots of piercings etc.. Ava loves it and loves the pizza. But she notices the workers are a bit grungy, notices their fingernails are dirty and notices there is no handwashing sink in sight (you can watch them make the pizza). Most children wouldn't even notice this stuff but she does. Yet, she still eats there.So for her I think she will always be a bit prissy about germs and smells too. But it doesn't interfere with her life at the moment. I know it could develop into something else at some time but I think by getting her help now (medication, CBT for other stuff if she'll do it) gives her the tools to deal with whatever morphs into a problem in the future.I think it's good to be aware of what the next thing might be as long as you also remember (sing with me ) to take care of yourself so that you can remain on somewhat of an even keel and not start your own descent down the rabbit hole of anxiety. (Been there, done that). And don't worry about not contributing to the list, your questions are a contribution! I learn stuff both from questions AND answers! So keep 'em coming.Dana in NCYou may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Yes, I think we are the only ones concerned about our kids washing their hands to much!!!!! You brought a smile to my face and got the morning off to a good start!

mom2tazbug@... wrote:

OK ... are we the ONLY parents who are actually GLAD when our kids don't wash their hands????Peggikaye ... OklahomaYou may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

,

Where do you separate exposure and avoidance....like not showering at all

now. I have the same problem with .

Noelle

[Guest guest]

Accidentally I may have stumbled on to a solution for the handwashing problem. My son will only wash his hands with soft- soap. You know, the liquid kind. Well I finally ran out of it and haven't replaced it. Today will be the first day. I'm curious to see what his reaction will be. Let you know!

Terry

Re: Another question/germs> OK ... are we the ONLY parents who are actually GLAD when our kids don'twash> their hands????>> Peggikaye ... OklahomaHi Peggikaye, I know that I am elated when my son doesn't even wash for appropriatethings. It took months of ERP to get him to quit washing. That is a word Idon't really say, and germs is another. If he starts about germs, I remindhim his mom is a nurse and is very up on germs, and would not jeopardize hiswell-being. (I have given up a career and bank account to help him getwell, so I won't jeopardize his health). I can't even begin to tell you thethings I did with him as far as exposures go...(I thought I was nutsencouraging some of the stuff, but he is better) But his refusal to showerlately, (he's 12), gets on my nerves after 2 days-he stinks!! So I think byskipping the normal handwashing I am encouraging health in my son. Hugs,>> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . Inthe body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You maysubscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List atparentsofadultswithOCD . You may access thefiles, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are TamarChansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Roman, andJackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may beaddressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .>>>You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the files, links, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Roman, and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Hi Terry,

If your son insists on using dishsoap you could pour liquid soap into the

dishsoap container and he'd be none the wiser.

Angie

Re: Another question/germs

> >

> >

> > > OK ... are we the ONLY parents who are actually GLAD when our

> kids don't

> > wash

> > > their hands????

> > >

> > >

>

>

> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In

the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may

subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at

parentsofadultswithOCD . You may access the

files, links, and archives for our list at

. Our list advisors are Tamar

Chansky, Ph.D., and Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D. Our list moderators are

Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Roman, and

Jackie Stout. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

From: <larkspurmr@...>

<egroups>

Sent: Wednesday, September 20, 2000 11:08 AM

Subject: Re: Another question/germs

> ,

> Where do you separate exposure and avoidance....like not showering at all

> now. I have the same problem with .

> Noelle

Hi Noelle,

That is an excellent question, and I was beginning to wonder if not

taking a shower was an ocd issue, like was he back to not touching certain

body parts, was it triggering a washing ritual etc. I had dad spy on him

for me in the shower (dad is much more acceptable than mom at 12). Dad said

it did not look ocdish and I had to believe him. Mike was just being

resistant to taking a shower which I understand is a normal phase 12/13 year

old boys go through (until they fall in love). I was actually thinking of

rewarding him for a nitely shower, but luck came my way. He is in love with

at school! Now he showers every morning without me reminding him, at

least last week, and will brush his teeth when I remind him. Like, Mike,

you have to brush those teeth, you wouldn't want to be near an smell

horrible-that would blow all your chances with her. Girls don't like yucky

smelly boys! What next week will bring is a different story. I'll take it

one day at a time. Hugs to you,