Re: Kathyb

[Guest guest]

Hi

boy is having a very hard time. My daughter is not to that extent that

goodness. Separation anxiety is when they rely on me for everything and

wants me to do for her, not for her to do for herself. It could be a lack of

confidence or i believe with her she has a hard time geting people to

understand exactly what she means. She calls me all the time. If she sleeps

at my mothers she has to call several times a day. It drives me crazy at

times. That's sort of an example of separation anxiety.

Tell me what the Dr. said about everything I'm interested in knowing.

Dana in MA

[Guest guest]

To Dana NC: I was interested in knowing did you have an evaluation with The

Dr. March, as in the Dr. and Author of the books on OCD? I had enquired

about doing this within the first year of my 10yr olds diag. Unfortunatley I

could not afford the expense of the flights and lodging and the visit with

him. Please let me know how helpful it was if this infact is what you did and

exactly what your childs symptoms etc were. I am still considering this in

the future mainly to see if he will set up a clear plan of treatment for my

daughter as we are having a very hard time finding anyone who is knowledgable

enough to do ERP with her. They claim to but I feel we accomplish more at

home than they do in 50min sessions for 100.00. I also cant get anyone to

give us clear cut answers on parenting a child with OCD in the best possible

way. If you could write back and answer any of my questions it would be very

helpful. Thank you in advance. Nikki in Orlando

[Guest guest]

Hi, this is the other Dana. When I think of separation anxiety I think of

difficulty with the actual transition of separating. Ava never had trouble with

that. In this post, what you're describing sounds familiar, and I always

thought of this behavior as some kind of attachment/dependency problem. Dr.

March described it well when he first diagnosed Ava. He said that " her

over-dependence on her mother reflects necessary dependence in a

prosthetic sense " . It's like she uses me to process info about the world

constantly, rather than interpret info herself. And I sometimes have to explain

to others what she means. And she is always trying to pull me into her

activities/tasks. I find myself saying " no, I have my own jobs/things to do,

you just take care of yours " .

Then there is also the possibility of rituals, things she cannot do w/o first

doing this or that, which involve interraction with me. So I'm wondering if

there isn't more to this separation anxiety you're dealing with than meets the

eye.

Dana in NC

k12m10d42@... wrote:

> Hi

> boy is having a very hard time. My daughter is not to that extent that

> goodness. Separation anxiety is when they rely on me for everything and

> wants me to do for her, not for her to do for herself. It could be a lack of

> confidence or i believe with her she has a hard time geting people to

> understand exactly what she means. She calls me all the time. If she sleeps

> at my mothers she has to call several times a day. It drives me crazy at

> times. That's sort of an example of separation anxiety.

>

> Tell me what the Dr. said about everything I'm interested in knowing.

>

> Dana in MA

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> How about a flat, no-fee long distance rate of 6.7¢ per min. -

> or less? Join beMANY! Our huge buying group gives you rates which

> fall monthly, plus an extra $60 in FREE calls!

> 1/3820/5/_/531051/_/961032320/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the

body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The Archives, Files,

and Features List for the may be accessed by going to

, enter your email address and password, then point and

click. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis

Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Hi Danas:

I think Dana C. is on to something here. This sounds a lot like

fear-driven reassurance seeking, a hallmark symptom of OCD. IT is one

which is very responsive to CBT.

Good luck, aloha,Kathy (H)

kathyh@...

At 09:51 PM 06/14/2000 -0400, you wrote:

>Hi, this is the other Dana. When I think of separation anxiety I think of

difficulty with the actual transition of separating. Ava never had trouble

with that. In this post, what you're describing sounds familiar, and I

always thought of this behavior as some kind of attachment/dependency

problem. Dr. March described it well when he first diagnosed Ava. He said

that " her over-dependence on her mother reflects necessary dependence in a

>prosthetic sense " . It's like she uses me to process info about the world

constantly, rather than interpret info herself. And I sometimes have to

explain to others what she means. And she is always trying to pull me into

her activities/tasks. I find myself saying " no, I have my own jobs/things

to do, you just take care of yours " .

>

>Then there is also the possibility of rituals, things she cannot do w/o

first doing this or that, which involve interraction with me. So I'm

wondering if there isn't more to this separation anxiety you're dealing

with than meets the eye.

>

>Dana in NC

>

>k12m10d42@... wrote:

>

>> Hi

>> boy is having a very hard time. My daughter is not to that extent

that

>> goodness. Separation anxiety is when they rely on me for everything and

>> wants me to do for her, not for her to do for herself. It could be a

lack of

>> confidence or i believe with her she has a hard time geting people to

>> understand exactly what she means. She calls me all the time. If she

sleeps

>> at my mothers she has to call several times a day. It drives me crazy at

>> times. That's sort of an example of separation anxiety.

>>

>> Tell me what the Dr. said about everything I'm interested in knowing.

>>

>> Dana in MA

[Guest guest]

Dana in MA, (and Kathy ,

When you daughter is sleeping out, limit then stop the times she is

allowed to contact you. The more she calls, the more she will increase the

times - classic ocd!

I've had seperation anxiety issues with 2 of my kids, the girls. I did not

know they had ocd until years after these examples.

One ended up taking her magic horse (her bicycle) to park outside the

building where she could see it through the window. After that, I gradually

reduced the times she rode her bike until it was enough to know that she had

the magic within her. She was 5 btw.

Ziv used to projectile vomit as soon as I said the words babysitter! I

think she had a sitter for a couple of hours once a month! Once I caught on

to this, I told her if she kept it up, I would go out more often!! it

worked. When she started sleeping out, if she called I would keep it very

brief. Second call, if there was one, went to her father. By not giving in

to her insecurity (now I know that its reasurrance checking) I was forcing

her to deal with her uncertainty. In the morning I always greeted her with a

big hug and I missed you!

I would discuss with your daughter ahead of time when she is going to call,

and limit the contact. If she calls 3 times an hour, suggest that it be once

an hour. If she calls 3 times a night, try and make it once a night, and

have her suggest a time. IF YOU are having difficulties with her not

calling, try going out and distract yourself. It will do you good, believe

me!

take care, wendy, in canada

________________________________________________________________________

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/14/00 9:50:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

clayvon@... writes:

<< Then there is also the possibility of rituals, things she cannot do w/o

first doing this or that, which involve interraction with me. So I'm

wondering if there isn't more to this separation anxiety you're dealing with

than meets the eye.

Dana in NC >>

Dana,

I agree with you. My son was diagnosed by the first psychiatrist we went to

as having separation anxiety for all the very reasons you speak of. He was

only 7 at that time and his OCD wasn't outwardly showing at that point but he

just wouldn't go to school and leave me. This was something new since he

never had a problem with separation from me for preschool and other things.

When we pushed him to go to school, that's when the symptoms of OCD came out

loud and clear.

Just thought I'd add my thoughts since they were similar to your experience.

Noelle

[Guest guest]

Yes, I took Ava to THE Dr. March. He is in the next town from me and my

insurance even covered it so it was reasonable. He doesn't follow patients,

just does the diagnosis and makes recommendations, so if you went to him you'd

still be in the same situation of trying to find someone locally who could do

the ERP. I've taken Ava to him 3 times, first for her original diagnosis, then

for an update/check after 2 years, then to assess her hair

pulling habit to see if it was TTM. The first time he was very thorough. He

did a YBOC test, we filled out a bunch of questionnaires etc.. He wrote a 3 page

assessment, evaluating her on each axis (1-5 in the DSM IV). I still refer to

this evaluation as it was very insightful and helpful.

The next time he saw her, 2 years later, he was not thorough at all. He just

had us come in, asked her a bunch of questions, like " do you still have OCD? " .

She said no, so he said ok, she doesn't have OCD anymore and told her to go home

and be a good girl. I even unsubbed from this list at that time, thinking that

it would be harder to stop filtering everything through an " is this OCD? " lens

if I was immersed in it every day. He

recommended she stay on meds, which she did, but she definitely was not " cured "

and her OCD waxed and the TTM started and I took her back a few months later.

He recommended CBT.

So, you see, taking your daughter to him may or may not be what you're needing.

I'm glad I have his initial evaluation and I'm glad it only cost me a little.

One thing it was helpful for, besides it's thoroughness, is that in the process

of seeking help for med supervision, CBT, further evaluations as she gets older

etc. I don't have to deal with other docs questioning her diagnosis much -

everyone here knows of March and as soon as I say

he's the one who evaluated her they seem to be satisfied that I'm not making

anything up myself or imagining things (you often can't tell if Ava has OCD

unless you ask the right questions or see her under certain circumstances).

I hope this answers some of your questions; feel free to ask more if you need

to.

Dana in NC

ANGELO5@... wrote:

> To Dana NC: I was interested in knowing did you have an evaluation with The

> Dr. March, as in the Dr. and Author of the books on OCD? I had enquired

> about doing this within the first year of my 10yr olds diag. Unfortunatley I

> could not afford the expense of the flights and lodging and the visit with

> him. Please let me know how helpful it was if this infact is what you did and

> exactly what your childs symptoms etc were. I am still considering this in

> the future mainly to see if he will set up a clear plan of treatment for my

> daughter as we are having a very hard time finding anyone who is knowledgable

> enough to do ERP with her. They claim to but I feel we accomplish more at

> home than they do in 50min sessions for 100.00. I also cant get anyone to

> give us clear cut answers on parenting a child with OCD in the best possible

> way. If you could write back and answer any of my questions it would be very

> helpful. Thank you in advance. Nikki in Orlando

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Would you like to save big on your phone bill -- and keep on saving

> more each month? Join beMANY! Our huge buying group gives you Long Distance

> rates which fall monthly, plus an extra $60 in FREE calls!

> 1/2567/5/_/531051/_/961038794/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the

body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. The Archives, Files,

and Features List for the may be accessed by going to

, enter your email address and password, then point and

click. Subscription issues, problems, or suggestions may be addressed to Louis

Harkins, list owner, at harkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Hi Dana! Thank you for your reply. I took my daughter to the pyschiatrist for

our 2nd visit with him to follow up on the Luvox. I told him how her ADD

symptoms have worsened (he did not think she was a true add, just focus

problems secondary to OCD) I told him she does not even remember to flush the

toilet, brush teeth, anything without asking 10 times and this is for every

step she takes everyday. He suggested we add Wilbuterin to her Luvox and he

thinks that will help. The Luvox has helped the OCD and she is not having any

obsessions or comp. but she is hyper and has a hard time going to sleep,

sitting still and focussing. Have you ever heard of adding this with the

Luvox? He said we could add the adderall again but when she was just taking

adderall it caused extreme anxiety in her and thats why we went to see him in

the first place. I think I will forget the eval with Dr. March. it sounds

like he may be experiencing burn out dont you think? Take care Nikki