and others with men who don't workout--Re: : men

[Guest guest]

>

> ,

> They should make clones of you!!! anyway...i ask my dh to workout with

> me and he looks like i'm an alien...I wanted him to try some partner

> yoga. Thought it would be fun to try the poses together--i think he,

> like 's bf, thought it was a not a man's workout. What does a

> woman have to do to get their mate to have a workout date every once

> in a while?

> Stacey

>

Stacey,

Clones of me? Well, the world might be a better place if everybody

were more like me...but I digress. :-)

I think this is one of those situations where the token male needs to

speak up, so here goes:

Stacey mentioned yoga. I've tried it myself, and it's no big deal,

but I don't have as big an ego as some other men. The average man

thinks that only gay men do yoga. (I even felt a little flaky doing

it myself.) So I wouldn't suggest trying to get a man to do yoga.

What does a woman have to do to get her man to have a workout date?

This is an easy one. What do men want most from women? Two things:

sex and approval--and not necessarily in that order.

Now before you all roll your eyes and skip to the next message, please

hear me out.

Stacey, if you want dh to have a workout date with you, make sure he

knows that sex will be part of the date. And when you do the workout,

PLEASE wear something sexy--not baggy sweatpants and an oversized

t-shirt. Try tight spandex and a sport bra. And then make sure the

cool-down takes place in the shower or in the bedroom afterward.

Believe me, he will not want to miss that workout.

And then don't forget the approval. When it's over, don't give him a

condescending, " Now don't you feel better that you worked out? " That

will rub his ego the wrong way and he'll feel like he let you

manipulate him into doing something he didn't want to do. (Yeah, I

know that's what you're doing, and he knows that, but don't let him

know that you know that.) Instead tell him, " Wow, wasn't that workout

tough? I wasn't sure if we'd both make it through. " He'll be

thinking, " Hey, baby, I can take anything you dish out. Just wait

till next time and I'll show you. "

If you've been paying close attention, this is more than about getting

him to exercise. It's about relating to your husband. I don't

suggest that you just " keep at him " because that's nagging. Men don't

respond to nagging. It annoys the crap out of us.

I suppose some of you might think this is sexist advice. Well, it's

right out of Dr. 's book " The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands "

and I can tell you from experience that it works.

So, ladies, please, please, PLEASE don't think you're going to change

your man by repeating yourself. He heard you the first time. Make

the workout worth his while and it's more likely that he will accept

it and adjust to it over time.

Just some tips from a husband who doesn't mind " working out " *wink*

with his wife.