Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 Whew, stop, take a deep breath!! And another one We've all been down that path before. But try to think of health first and foremost. In the long run, I think health is more important than anything and usually is connected with safe weight loss, not diet pills. I also don't think she was trying to tell you that you needed to lose weight but more about how she felt at her wedding or maybe she thought that is how you " felt " from your converstaion, not necessarily how you look. Am I explaining this right? And now for step two through the DAMN SCALE AWAY :) The scale is your worst enemy!! Take your measurements, how do your clothes feel?? I started this time around weighing 4-5 lbs less than when I quit in October, yet none of my same clothes fit. The scale really is not the answer! Try writing down some goals. Make long-term and short-term goals. When I'm in a rut I make simple goals I know I can accomplish. Give myself a mental reward for getting there. Make yourself accountable for the goals, and with every success you will become mre and more confident that you can do this. You need to set yourself up to succeed. Colleen > so this weekend was terrible, > > it all started because i decided to weigh myself on saturday morning. > > no, actually that's not true. > > it all started because i was having a conversation last week with a > friend of mine about the old " bad " ways we used to diet - starving, > taking pills, etc. and she said that she has always regretted not > losing weight for her wedding - even if it would have been only > temporary - because now every time she sees those pictures of herself > she hates to look at them because she looks " fat " . > > then she suggested that i should think about taking diet pills again - > you can order them on line, you know - for the 6 weeks or so before my > wedding so i could lose some weight before the big day. > > and i'm sure she didn't mean anything by it - but i have been dwelling > on what she said. to me that sounds like she is telling me i NEED to > lose weight, and that if i don't then i will look fat on my wedding > day and in the photographs. > > it just confirmed what i already believe - that everyone is lying when > they tell me i look okay. > so after dwelling on that for while i decided that i should weigh myself. > > you know it's been almost FIVE MONTHS since i did, and i have been > doing pretty well - i have cheated on my program - i have been taking > really free free days - but still i expected to see a loss or at the > very worst be the same weight that i was when i started. > > i gained 8 pounds. > > EIGHT POUNDS!!!!! > > i don't even know what to do anymore. so i freaked out: crying and > yelling and pacing the apartment. > > because i am so tired of this struggle. > and it seems like my body just won't lose weight no matter what - > unless i take the damn diet pills and eat 600 calories a day. > > and that i am sick of hearing that i need to just accept how i am - > that it is all in my head. because it ISN'T all in my head. > > i have evidence now, see? even my friends think i am fat and the scale > says so too. and i know it's probably 8 pounds of muscle that i gained > - but still. > > i feel like giving up, dying, screaming, starving and so on. > > i don't even know how to go on with this " diet " or make myself go to > the gym. > > and it's not really about what my friend said - that's NOT the issue - > and she's NOT jealous - she's lost 40 pounds in the past year - so > it's not about that. > > it's about me. and why am i even bothering to stick with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 --- HI ..I can't remember if you go by Ann? I am soo sorry you are feeling this way. I was feeling this way too last week..it was a horrid week. I thought..why even bother with this? I am getting tired..I just keep going and going and going..but it is the third challenge..I knew I would get to this point. my problem is I am sick of protein..sick sick sick of it. I just want to eat my yougurt by itself..my fruit by itself..yada yada yada.... I know you have to keep going on. what else can you do ? you do know this program works soo well. I know that..it takes time. heck I have only just now gotten to a size 16 after 3 challenges! you would think I would be lower..but I don't care..it *is* a big change. and gaining eight pounds of muscle is a huge accomplishment! has your clothes gotten tighter? cause if not..and they are getting looser..there is your answer for that. take a good look in the mirror..and like I always say..take some pics..there is your real difference. how bout that? I am not weighing myself for a year..you could try that. so not till january. It sounds to me you are doing all you should do. just tighten up your eating..maybe change up the workouts if it is boredom that is a problem. just cheat on free day and that day only. maybe you can help me want to stuff protein down my face more! I am doing it..but not havin fun with it! lol I am so sorry you cried. I know the feeling..but you will have good and bad days...tommorrow you will be okay..just keep going..there really is no other choice! if you keep going ..I will promise I will too..and i will keep eating my protein! you can do this..if I can..you can! whatever that means huh? lol! chipper up gurl! Kathi In , " annaklahr " <annaklahr@y...> wrote: > so this weekend was terrible, > > it all started because i decided to weigh myself on saturday morning. > > no, actually that's not true. > > it all started because i was having a conversation last week with a > friend of mine about the old " bad " ways we used to diet - starving, > taking pills, etc. and she said that she has always regretted not > losing weight for her wedding - even if it would have been only > temporary - because now every time she sees those pictures of herself > she hates to look at them because she looks " fat " . > > then she suggested that i should think about taking diet pills again - > you can order them on line, you know - for the 6 weeks or so before my > wedding so i could lose some weight before the big day. > > and i'm sure she didn't mean anything by it - but i have been dwelling > on what she said. to me that sounds like she is telling me i NEED to > lose weight, and that if i don't then i will look fat on my wedding > day and in the photographs. > > it just confirmed what i already believe - that everyone is lying when > they tell me i look okay. > so after dwelling on that for while i decided that i should weigh myself. > > you know it's been almost FIVE MONTHS since i did, and i have been > doing pretty well - i have cheated on my program - i have been taking > really free free days - but still i expected to see a loss or at the > very worst be the same weight that i was when i started. > > i gained 8 pounds. > > EIGHT POUNDS!!!!! > > i don't even know what to do anymore. so i freaked out: crying and > yelling and pacing the apartment. > > because i am so tired of this struggle. > and it seems like my body just won't lose weight no matter what - > unless i take the damn diet pills and eat 600 calories a day. > > and that i am sick of hearing that i need to just accept how i am - > that it is all in my head. because it ISN'T all in my head. > > i have evidence now, see? even my friends think i am fat and the scale > says so too. and i know it's probably 8 pounds of muscle that i gained > - but still. > > i feel like giving up, dying, screaming, starving and so on. > > i don't even know how to go on with this " diet " or make myself go to > the gym. > > and it's not really about what my friend said - that's NOT the issue - > and she's NOT jealous - she's lost 40 pounds in the past year - so > it's not about that. > > it's about me. and why am i even bothering to stick with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 --- Hey Colleen! that was really really really good advice for ! Kathi In , " colleenp99 " <colleen_meacham@h...> wrote: > Whew, stop, take a deep breath!! And another one We've all been > down that path before. But try to think of health first and foremost. > In the long run, I think health is more important than anything and > usually is connected with safe weight loss, not diet pills. > > I also don't think she was trying to tell you that you needed to lose > weight but more about how she felt at her wedding or maybe she > thought that is how you " felt " from your converstaion, not > necessarily how you look. Am I explaining this right? > > And now for step two through the DAMN SCALE AWAY :) The scale is > your worst enemy!! Take your measurements, how do your clothes > feel?? I started this time around weighing 4-5 lbs less than when I > quit in October, yet none of my same clothes fit. The scale really is > not the answer! > > Try writing down some goals. Make long-term and short-term goals. > When I'm in a rut I make simple goals I know I can accomplish. Give > myself a mental reward for getting there. Make yourself accountable > for the goals, and with every success you will become mre and more > confident that you can do this. You need to set yourself up to > succeed. > > Colleen > > > > > > > so this weekend was terrible, > > > > it all started because i decided to weigh myself on saturday > morning. > > > > no, actually that's not true. > > > > it all started because i was having a conversation last week with a > > friend of mine about the old " bad " ways we used to diet - starving, > > taking pills, etc. and she said that she has always regretted not > > losing weight for her wedding - even if it would have been only > > temporary - because now every time she sees those pictures of > herself > > she hates to look at them because she looks " fat " . > > > > then she suggested that i should think about taking diet pills > again - > > you can order them on line, you know - for the 6 weeks or so before > my > > wedding so i could lose some weight before the big day. > > > > and i'm sure she didn't mean anything by it - but i have been > dwelling > > on what she said. to me that sounds like she is telling me i NEED to > > lose weight, and that if i don't then i will look fat on my wedding > > day and in the photographs. > > > > it just confirmed what i already believe - that everyone is lying > when > > they tell me i look okay. > > so after dwelling on that for while i decided that i should weigh > myself. > > > > you know it's been almost FIVE MONTHS since i did, and i have been > > doing pretty well - i have cheated on my program - i have been > taking > > really free free days - but still i expected to see a loss or at the > > very worst be the same weight that i was when i started. > > > > i gained 8 pounds. > > > > EIGHT POUNDS!!!!! > > > > i don't even know what to do anymore. so i freaked out: crying and > > yelling and pacing the apartment. > > > > because i am so tired of this struggle. > > and it seems like my body just won't lose weight no matter what - > > unless i take the damn diet pills and eat 600 calories a day. > > > > and that i am sick of hearing that i need to just accept how i am - > > that it is all in my head. because it ISN'T all in my head. > > > > i have evidence now, see? even my friends think i am fat and the > scale > > says so too. and i know it's probably 8 pounds of muscle that i > gained > > - but still. > > > > i feel like giving up, dying, screaming, starving and so on. > > > > i don't even know how to go on with this " diet " or make myself go to > > the gym. > > > > and it's not really about what my friend said - that's NOT the > issue - > > and she's NOT jealous - she's lost 40 pounds in the past year - so > > it's not about that. > > > > it's about me. and why am i even bothering to stick with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 i hadn't weighed in almost 5 months - did you read that part? i know that it is damaging. i just felt like i needed to know - i was hoping that i'd show a loss. i needed to feel like i had made some progress since: my clothes haven't changed AND my measurements haven't changed (except maybe my thighs have gotten a little bit bigger). the only difference is that i am stronger. and that seems to be it. things i've done: i've added extra cardio. i've kept track of my food on fitday. i've decreased high GI carbs. i've written down my goals and joined about 4 online communities where i post my food and excercise. i never drink except on free days and even then hardly at all. i drink all my water i hit my 10's i never even go anywhere because it's too stressful for me to deal with " real " food choices. i'm not trying to be melodramatic, really i'm just feeling really sad and sorry for myself and not sure what to do. the only thing i can think to do now is to completely give up free day. and that's the only reason i have even been able to stick with this plan in the first place. i know you don't know me, or know the struggles that i have had with my body image and self worth. but this feels like sh*t. and i am so tempted to just give up - because what's the point anyway? whatever- i don't need another response - and i really hope you don't read this as an attack on you in anyway - i am just feeling really defeated and sorry for myself. thanks for the pep talk though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 okay, last one- take a break from thinking about this. you know what- it DOESNT matter. not to anyone but you. if you cant forgive yourself right now, that's fine. but why not go get some distance from it, and try coming back to it later? maybe go and try to find some perspective. because life is big, and this stuff, it's only as big as we make it. to the people who care about you, you are still a complete human being. you're not a measurement or a number- you're anna. not different than you were last week. you're their friend, and what you weigh doesnt matter. to the people at your job, to the people on the street- this stuff is nonexistant. it's only huge to you. so disengage some meaning from it for a little while. ask the people you trust to tell you something kind. give yourself a spa day. leave work, go to the beach or somewhere that makes you feel free and happy and whole and is the last possible place you think about your body. getcher hair did, getcher nails done. turn the music up loud and dance in your living room. go for a long drive. do something NICE for you that reminds you that you're awesome all the time, no matter what your scale (or your friend) says. think about all this later. when you're friends are letting you down you've got to kick in and be your own friend. -cera annaklahr wrote: >i hadn't weighed in almost 5 months - did you read that part? i know >that it is damaging. > >i just felt like i needed to know - i was hoping that i'd show a loss. > i needed to feel like i had made some progress since: my clothes >haven't changed AND my measurements haven't changed (except maybe my >thighs have gotten a little bit bigger). > >the only difference is that i am stronger. >and that seems to be it. > >things i've done: > >i've added extra cardio. >i've kept track of my food on fitday. >i've decreased high GI carbs. >i've written down my goals and joined about 4 online communities where >i post my food and excercise. >i never drink except on free days and even then hardly at all. >i drink all my water >i hit my 10's >i never even go anywhere because it's too stressful for me to deal >with " real " food choices. > >i'm not trying to be melodramatic, really i'm just feeling really sad >and sorry for myself and not sure what to do. > >the only thing i can think to do now is to completely give up free >day. and that's the only reason i have even been able to stick with >this plan in the first place. > >i know you don't know me, or know the struggles that i have had with >my body image and self worth. but this feels like sh*t. and i am so >tempted to just give up - because what's the point anyway? > >whatever- i don't need another response - and i really hope you don't >read this as an attack on you in anyway - i am just feeling really >defeated and sorry for myself. > >thanks for the pep talk though! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 18, 2003 Report Share Posted August 18, 2003 > > i know you don't know me, or know the struggles that i have had with my body image and self worth. but this feels like sh*t. and i am so tempted to just give up - because what's the point anyway? > > whatever- i don't need another response - and i really hope you don't read this as an attack on you in anyway - i am just feeling really defeated and sorry for myself. > I think you should allow yourself to feel this way. It is ok to be sad, mad, angry, as well as happy, elated, exuberant, etc. It is ok to want to be in better shape, weigh less, look better, be " x " right at this moment and be frustrated that we aren't there yet. Sometimes we just need to vent, get it out, etc. And you have worked hard at this so really be sure to give yourself credit for the positive things you have done. I think you just need some mental time to work through this, get the frustration out. Colleen PS Those are the days I find myself popping a taebo tape in and pretending I'm kicking my ex's butt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2003 Report Share Posted August 19, 2003 Try to take a longer term view of the whole thing. Do BFL as prescribed and " forget about it " for awhile. If you obsess over each tiny failure you will grind to a halt. Rather, figure out how those things could have been avoided(don't use the scale or whatever). After a couple of months reassess your progress. If you have been doing BFL without any major detours a difference will be seen. It is kind of like watching a pot boil. It takes forever, but if you go fold clothes for a minute the next thing you know the water is boiling like mad. Nothing is going to work in the short term anyway. And don't do diet pills. There's no sense in making any undertaker richer sooner than you have to. Stasia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 19, 2003 Report Share Posted August 19, 2003 --- Whoa!!!!!!!! I am printing this out Stasia!!!!! where did you come up with this analogy? it is great! wowness....I needed to hear this on this morning! thanks for posting this even though it is for ..you never know what you will get from a post! Kathi In , " S Bachrach " <s_bachrach@y...> wrote: > > Try to take a longer term view of the whole thing. Do BFL as > prescribed and " forget about it " for awhile. If you obsess over each > tiny failure you will grind to a halt. Rather, figure out how those > things could have been avoided(don't use the scale or whatever). > After a couple of months reassess your progress. If you have been > doing BFL without any major detours a difference will be seen. It is > kind of like watching a pot boil. It takes forever, but if you go > fold clothes for a minute the next thing you know the water is > boiling like mad. Nothing is going to work in the short term anyway. > And don't do diet pills. There's no sense in making any undertaker > richer sooner than you have to. > > Stasia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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