Guest guest Posted February 28, 2000 Report Share Posted February 28, 2000 Hi list, there's been a lot lately about OCDers and school and I've been thinking about this because of Kel's current worsening. When she is doing well, teachers tell me she's fine, I don't see anything, there must be 10 other kids in her class I'd guess before her as having OCD. (There, there Mom--feels patronizing to me.) When she's suddenly worse, as this past several days, come the phone calls, the notes home asking me to unravel the mystery of why there's suddenly so much OCD to contend with. They basically want me to *do* something, solve the problem *now*, along the lines of Dana's magic pill I guess. Like we wouldn't use it religiously anyway if there were such a thing. Just a mini-vent. :-) I wanted to know if anyone can suggest an E & RP approach for Kel's wasting paper in class. The teacher wants the kids to use both sides of a sheet of paper when they draw, Kel has some OCD problem with this she can't explain very well--probably " just so " stuff. The teacher guessed it was OCD but it's gotten out of hand because the other kids don't want to use both sides either, and some have noticed that she allows Kel to use fronts only. I offered to supplement the classes' supply of newsprint (enabling I know) but there are the issues of recyling and not wasting resources to consider. Kel would rather not, but doesn't have much trouble using both sides of paper here at home, I'd like to help with this problem but I'm stumped. I feel this is sort of low-level and we have bigger problems to address at the moment, but Kel's teacher has brought it up twice now. Kathy R. in Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2000 Report Share Posted February 29, 2000 Hi Kathy, When people have it drilled in to them that fair means everyone having the same, as opposed to fair meaning everyone's needs being met, they do exactly what those other kids are doing - focusing on what someone else has rather than what they have. A good teacher can diffuse this, and should, since a lot of the clamoring for " fairness " is just attention seeking and one -upping. It's like when you read a story to preschoolers; they all start whining " I can't see! He's in my way!. I tell them at the beginning that it is their responsibility to sit where they can see, look behind you to see if you can sit on your knees, move if you can't see etc..but don't interrupt with complaints once I start! Once they see that I won't be sucked into the " poor me could everyone else please get in trouble " stuff, they stop it completely and enjoy the book. And after awhile it becomes a habit and it shows in everything they do together. So, I guess what I'm saying is that if your instincts tell you to let this one go for now then the teachers should drop it too (I'm sure the extra paper Kel uses will not even come close to what the gov't, let alone grad students, waste:-)). If the teacher would just redirect the other children to keep their focus on their own instructions about paper use and let her do her job regarding what other's do it will stop being a big deal. Young children feel safe when they trust that there needs will be met and an adult is in charge - not when they are continually focused on what everyone else has and can get feelings of false power by getting adults involved in their internal conflicts. Once you find out why Kel can't use both sides of the paper at school you can begin some erp work on it, and you will find out eventually probably, in the meantime the teacher needs to back off and get back in charge of the class. Your instincts are good and I think you should trust them. Dana in NC Kathy wrote: > From: " Kathy " <klr@...> > > Hi list, there's been a lot lately about OCDers and school and I've been > thinking about this because of Kel's current worsening. When she is doing > well, teachers tell me she's fine, I don't see anything, there must be 10 > other kids in her class I'd guess before her as having OCD. (There, there > Mom--feels patronizing to me.) When she's suddenly worse, as this past > several days, come the phone calls, the notes home asking me to unravel the > mystery of why there's suddenly so much OCD to contend with. They basically > want me to *do* something, solve the problem *now*, along the lines of > Dana's magic pill I guess. Like we wouldn't use it religiously anyway if > there were such a thing. Just a mini-vent. :-) > > I wanted to know if anyone can suggest an E & RP approach for Kel's wasting > paper in class. The teacher wants the kids to use both sides of a sheet of > paper when they draw, Kel has some OCD problem with this she can't explain > very well--probably " just so " stuff. The teacher guessed it was OCD but > it's gotten out of hand because the other kids don't want to use both sides > either, and some have noticed that she allows Kel to use fronts only. I > offered to supplement the classes' supply of newsprint (enabling I know) but > there are the issues of recyling and not wasting resources to consider. Kel > would rather not, but doesn't have much trouble using both sides of paper > here at home, I'd like to help with this problem but I'm stumped. I feel > this is sort of low-level and we have bigger problems to address at the > moment, but Kel's teacher has brought it up twice now. > > Kathy R. in Indiana > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates > as low as 0.0% Intro APR and no hidden fees. > Apply NOW! > 1/967/2/_/531051/_/951794394/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing > listserv@... . > In the body of your message write: > subscribe OCD-L your name. > The Archives and Links List for the OCD and > Parenting List may be accessed by going to > / . > Enter your email address and password. > Click on the highlighted list name and then click on index or links. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2000 Report Share Posted February 29, 2000 I don't have any suggestions as to why using both sides of the newsprint is difficult for Kel, but since you mention that she will use two sides of paper at home it could just be the newsprint. One of the accommodations we have for Ian at school is that he does not have to write on newsprint at all. He uses lined white paper. For him it is easier to erase if he has to and this small change has made a big difference in his attitude toward the work. Newsprint is really not made to stand up to the kind of punishment some kids exert when they write. For some reason Ian must print very darkly (making it impossible to erase if there is a mistake - probably like a self fulfilling prophecy). Take care joy in san diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2000 Report Share Posted February 29, 2000 Hi Kathy: Your question about designing the two-sided paper problem CBT was one which our CBT home team reviewed and we have come up with two opinions. THe first is mine. After re-reading (oops!) your email I felt that you might want to rely on your intuition that this is a low-level problem and you have bigger ones to address and just hang in there. That way if you are continuing with other CBT, it might generalize to the paper problem. Also as the OCD wanes, Kel might be better able to boss this one back (although the teacher is not helping as much as she might). In a way the part of the problem that is most tricky is that this is possibly straining the teacher's ability to cope in the classroom and she might inadvertently reflect this in her treatment of Kel. The second opinon (I was outvoted) was best expressed by Steve who felt that the OCD must be bossed back or else it would take over more. When I read him your question he started to ritualize immediately tapping all over the kitchen cabinet doors and moving about agitatedly, all the while concentrating on the question at hand. He became quite specific with his advice. He suggested you ask the teacher to assign an art project to Kel where she would draw or write the word of her favorite treat, he suggested ice cream, all over both sides of the paper for the reward of getting a delicious dish of her favorite ice cream flavor when this was done. He would like to see an ice cream party for the whole class for this. Steve told me that making the CBT fun really helped him a lot. For example he told me he really enjoyed burying small figures in the sand (beach is contaminated) and then digging them up - he plans to be an archaeologist. To get him to dig in the dirt (ugh, highly contaminated from his point of view) we went to a plant nursery, bought potted plants, a window box planter, some soil, and fertilizer and then set to work with him designing the way things would look in the box planter. It was hard to do but he actually enjoyed it and is proud to this day of his plantings. We also got him to plant seeds and repot the seedlings for catnip for his beloved cats. Good luck with the CBT, please let us know how it goes. Take care, aloha, Kathy (H) kathyh@... At 10:18 PM 02/28/2000 -0500, you wrote: >From: " Kathy " <klr@...> > >Hi list, there's been a lot lately about OCDers and school and I've been >thinking about this because of Kel's current worsening. When she is doing >well, teachers tell me she's fine, I don't see anything, there must be 10 >other kids in her class I'd guess before her as having OCD. (There, there >Mom--feels patronizing to me.) When she's suddenly worse, as this past >several days, come the phone calls, the notes home asking me to unravel the >mystery of why there's suddenly so much OCD to contend with. They basically >want me to *do* something, solve the problem *now*, along the lines of >Dana's magic pill I guess. Like we wouldn't use it religiously anyway if >there were such a thing. Just a mini-vent. :-) > >I wanted to know if anyone can suggest an E & RP approach for Kel's wasting >paper in class. The teacher wants the kids to use both sides of a sheet of >paper when they draw, Kel has some OCD problem with this she can't explain >very well--probably " just so " stuff. The teacher guessed it was OCD but >it's gotten out of hand because the other kids don't want to use both sides >either, and some have noticed that she allows Kel to use fronts only. I >offered to supplement the classes' supply of newsprint (enabling I know) but >there are the issues of recyling and not wasting resources to consider. Kel >would rather not, but doesn't have much trouble using both sides of paper >here at home, I'd like to help with this problem but I'm stumped. I feel >this is sort of low-level and we have bigger problems to address at the >moment, but Kel's teacher has brought it up twice now. > >Kathy R. in Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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