thank you

[Guest guest]

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this book of info. You

touched my heart in every sense. No one has talked to me tonight, and I just

needed to see this writing! This explains my feelings to a tee!!!

Hugs to you

Lori

Kathy Hammes wrote:

> From: Kathy Hammes <kathyh@...>

>

> HI Lesli:

>

> Thanks for bringing up the issue of a parent's feelings and the stress of

> coping with OCD 24/7. What I noticed in our family was that at first we

> were so stunned, shocked and immobilized we were not really experiencing

> the full brunt of our emotions. Then we were so busy learning how to

> cope, we switched all our energy and most of our activity to learning how

> to cope and had nothing left to deal with the grief, sense of loss, anger,

> exhaustion, etc.

>

> It was only as we moved to an improved level of functioning, in no small

> part a result of Steve's own improved functioning, that we were able to

> come to terms with the feelings and exhaustion. By that time we hoped to

> be feeling happy and lighthearted from the relief but the feelings we were

> unable to deal with before kept presenting themselves. The waxing and

> waning of OCD symptoms only exacerbates this. It feels very disappointing

> and makes me all the more conscious of what a demon OCD is and how much it

> takes from us and our beloved sufferers.

>

> What helps me is to do the same sort of thing for myself as for Steve. In

> particular, celebrate the progress, forget and forgive the mistakes, avoid

> useless regret, remember anxiety is contagious, work on my sense of humor,

> and get physically active. When I need help doing this I get some

> supportive professional therapy, and as you wrote, this list helps me a lot

> with coming to terms with these feelings of grief, loss, anger, frustration

> and impatience. Take care, aloha, Kathy (H)

> kathyh@...

>

> At 03:07 PM 02/27/2000 -0800, you wrote:

> >From: Masoud & Lesli Molaei <desk@...>

> >

> >HI Kathy,

> >

> >You asked about my therapy. I don't think that therapy can or should

> >dictate feelings... I guess my goal is to be better able to do what you

> >described: That is, to act calm and be able to think clearly about what

> >is happening, rather than let emotion rule the day. andra really

> >does depend on me to remain calm and matter-of-fact in the face of OCD.

> >IF she doesn't sense anxiety in me, then she is much better able to

> >manage her own feelings of anxiety.

> >

> >Which still leaves us the challenge of what to do and where to put all

> >of our feelings of grief, sadness, anger, etc., that we experience as

> >caretakers of children with OCD. I am not yet enlightened on this! But

> >this is one of the reasons I tend to bring up the subject of feelings on

> >this list. Doing this, I've found that there are other parents who need

> >to process just like me, and this list is a safe place for that.

> >

> >Lovely to hear about Kel outside in the mud and the worms! I wish I

> >could send andra over to play!

> >

> >Take care,

> >Lesli

>

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