Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 Hi Lesli >Do others have this experience with their OCD children? My daughter experiences anxiety when we go out in public. School is safe, dance class a little less so, with new or less familiar >places causing the most anxiety. > We definatly had problems with planning anything which involves public places. The girls were terrified that something would happen to one of us - and Tom wouldnt voice it, but would become extremely aggresive so that we wouldnt take him along. We backed off for a while, then took only the girls, who were fine when they were two and we were two. Eventually Tom joined us, because he NEEDED to know what he was missing. We dont go out much, but each time is a production!!! wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 To all, Do others have this experience with their OCD children? My daughter experiences anxiety when we go out in public. School is safe, dance class a little less so, with new or less familiar places causing the most anxiety. If her reaction is particulary severe, she also gets very angry at me for not " fixing, " whatever it is that is making her uncomfortable. This public discomfort does not appear to be related to her contamination issues, although we're not sure. I don't know if her anxiety is OCD-related or if the anxiety is something else that acts as a trigger for an OCD attack. If anyone has input or similar experiences I would appreciate hearing from you. Thanks very much, Lesli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 In a message dated 2/17/99 10:30:02 PM Eastern Standard Time, klr@... writes: << A last-minute decision to go to the park (or wherever) throws her into a panic, as does the phone ringing with an unexpected invitation to play at a friend's house. >> Invitation to a friend's house?? Never happens here - and if it does it ends up in a disaster!!! Today was one of them so I'm particularly upset about this topic tonite. I'd like to hear form you all regardin whether or not your kids are capable of play dates or not and any info you'd like to share. It breaks my heart that my 7 year old has no friends. Support to you all, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 Hi Lesli, My daughter's OCD isn't about contamination but still getting her out the door to go almost anywhere is quite a challenge. I can count on a tantrum and/or tears plus major problems with putting on shoes and coat. No matter what the plan she claims to not want to go, says she's too busy, tired, etc., etc. School is easiest here too, I think because it's most familiar and routine. A last-minute decision to go to the park (or wherever) throws her into a panic, as does the phone ringing with an unexpected invitation to play at a friend's house. This is such a change from just a few months ago (pre-OCD), when my daughter was always up for just about anything and Mom was the one most likely to claim to be too busy or tired to go do something . . . We go ahead and go anyway. She rages and fusses on the way, but once we arrive she does seem to subdue her anxiety and OCD symptoms (for the most part) and get into the spirit of things, even to the point of seeming to enjoy herself. I'm not sure if these outings are good for her or not (there's always a big tantrum on the drive home and worsened OCD for sometimes hours after, so I know they stress her out) but they are definitely good for me. Kathy R. Re: public anxiety >From: Masoud Molaei <desk@...> > > To all, > >Do others have this experience with their OCD children? My daughter experiences anxiety when we go out in public. School is safe, dance class a little less so, with new or less familiar >places causing the most anxiety. > >If her reaction is particulary severe, she also gets very angry at me for not " fixing, " whatever it is that is making her uncomfortable. This public discomfort does not appear to be related >to her contamination issues, although we're not sure. > >I don't know if her anxiety is OCD-related or if the anxiety is something else that acts as a trigger for an OCD attack. > >If anyone has input or similar experiences I would appreciate hearing from you. > >Thanks very much, >Lesli > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 Hi Lesli, My son has a social phobia and I believe that his response to being in groups exacerbates his OCD because of the stress that he feels in those situations. I also believe that his OCD has a causal relationship to his social phobia because of the constancy of the thoughts running through his mind. I am thankful that our son is old enough (16) to know that his discomfort is not our fault. Because of my son's OCD and social phobia I am particulary interested in the relationship between OCD and the spectrum disorders. Take care. Louis ocdnet@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 HI: Does anyone know off hand what the incidence of comorbidity of OCD and social phobia is? My son does not seem to have social phobia, is a good public speaker, actor, was very social before OCD, but I noticed that when his OCD was severe his socialization problems came right along. He seems to have social difficulties due to his inappropriate comments which upset others rather than because he is phobic in social situations. Does anyone else see this in their child? His psychologist told me some of this is rather OCPD-like which has me rather upset. Aloha, Kathy (H) At 09:01 PM 2/17/99 -0500, you wrote: >From: ocdnet@... (Louis Harkins) > >Hi Lesli, > >My son has a social phobia and I believe that his response to being in >groups exacerbates his OCD because of the stress that he feels in those >situations. I also believe that his OCD has a causal relationship to >his social phobia because of the constancy of the thoughts running >through his mind. > >I am thankful that our son is old enough (16) to know that his >discomfort is not our fault. > >Because of my son's OCD and social phobia I am particulary interested in >the relationship between OCD and the spectrum disorders. > >Take care. > >Louis >ocdnet@... > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Come see our new web site! >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit their web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom support at http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 1999 Report Share Posted February 17, 1999 Hi , sympathy for your disasterous day. I hit a nerve with the reference to a play date. My daughter is 5 and had a sudden onset of OCD in December, so we are new at this. At this point the phone *does* still ring with invitations from friends, but my daughter is extremely reluctant to go anywhere and automatically refuses them. The two times she did go (I forced her more or less) since her OCD started, she ended up locked in a bathroom and hiding in a closet, crying and hysterical. She does better if I am with her, but I can't escort her each time she's asked somewhere. Often the other mom is hoping the children will keep each other occupied while she gets some work done--not entertain me. Most of these moms are friends of mine these past two years, and feel sorry for my daughter for her trouble, but are put off by Kellen's unreliable behavior. I can't blame them. My daughter does better at relatives' houses or at a park or McD's Playland where she may or may not end up playing with another child. So, no, she's not really capable of a play date. Kathy R. Re: public anxiety >From: Gpcpkp@... > >In a message dated 2/17/99 10:30:02 PM Eastern Standard Time, >klr@... writes: > ><< A last-minute decision to go to the park (or wherever) throws > her into a panic, as does the phone ringing with an unexpected invitation to > play at a friend's house. >> > > >Invitation to a friend's house?? Never happens here - and if it does it ends >up in a disaster!!! Today was one of them so I'm particularly upset about this >topic tonite. I'd like to hear form you all regardin whether or not your kids >are capable of play dates or not and any info you'd like to share. It breaks >my heart that my 7 year old has no friends. Support to you all, > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Have you seen our new web site? >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit their web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom support at http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 1999 Report Share Posted February 18, 1999 >Date: Wed, 17 Feb 1999 21:33:46 -1000 HI: Kathy wrote: My daughter's OCD isn't about contamination but still getting her out the >>>door to go almost anywhere is quite a challenge. I can count on a tantrum >>>and/or tears plus major problems with putting on shoes and coat. No matter >>>what the plan she claims to not want to go, says she's too busy, tired, >>>etc., etc. School is easiest here too, I think because it's most familiar >>>and routine. A last-minute decision to go to the park (or wherever) throws >>>her into a panic, as does the phone ringing with an unexpected invitation to >>>play at a friend's house. >>> >>>This is such a change from just a few months ago (pre-OCD), when my daughter >>>was always up for just about anything and Mom was the one most likely to >>>claim to be too busy or tired to go do something . . . >>> >>>We go ahead and go anyway. She rages and fusses on the way, but once we >>>arrive she does seem to subdue her anxiety and OCD symptoms (for the most >>>part) and get into the spirit of things, even to the point of seeming to >>>enjoy herself. I'm not sure if these outings are good for her or not >>>(there's always a big tantrum on the drive home and worsened OCD for >>>sometimes hours after, so I know they stress her out) but they are >>>definitely good for me. >>> >>>Kathy R. This description is so familiar. From what I have read this could be tied into the inflexibility which characterizes kids with NBDs. Our son resists a change in plan, it seems to us that both stopping what he is doing (often a fun computer game) and moving to a new task (even one we would think should be great fun)are very hard for him. We do the same as Kathy describes, just hold firm, insist he does shift tasks and remind him when he is enjoying himself that he was initially reluctant. It is exhausting though and before I understood this I would feel so hurt that all the fun things I thought up for us to do were seen as bad ideas. A book that helped me understand these problems with inflexibility was " The Explosive Child' by Dr. Greene. Aloha, Kathy (H) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 1999 Report Share Posted February 18, 1999 Hi : What you describe is so familiar. The night before last I got two calls in a row from a couple of my friends and we made arrangements to get together. My son overheard and started lamenting that he has no friends and no one calls him. He was very subtle about it but I got the message. I know he wants to have friends but somehow he can't cope with the teasing that seems to be the way most 12-year olds relate to each other. He responds sometimes with mean comments, being a very verbal person, and that causes problems. Also he doesn't like to do sports and his peers are very busy doing that in their free time. His psychiatrist told me not to worry about these socialization problems and to focus on his activity level so I just take him for a walk instead of fretting about his social development. His p-doc told me he has seen maturation do wonderful things for kids with psychiatric problems, and as adults they can be quite well adjusted with normal socialization. I just hope for the best. Actually my son complained that our family were not sociable enough and having people over to our home. Now we are doing more of that and he really enjoys it. If they have kids it doesn't go as well, but he does quite well with the adults. Good luck to all of us out there worrying about our kids not having friends and having a tough time socially. Take care, aloha, Kathy (H) wrote: >Invitation to a friend's house?? Never happens here - and if it does it ends >>up in a disaster!!! Today was one of them so I'm particularly upset about this topic tonite. I'd like to hear form you all regardin whether or not your kids are capable of play dates or not and any info you'd like to share. It breaks my heart that my 7 year old has no friends. Support to you all, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 18, 1999 Report Share Posted February 18, 1999 Hi Louis, My thanks to you and to everyone for your comments. I have wondered about social phobia with my daughter. Interestingly, it is not usually people who make her anxious. She loves her friends and wishes she had more of them, and absolutely loves anything that even resembles a party. Her anxiety seems to have two links. One is when she cannot have my full attention centered on her (for example, if I am socializing.) She doesn't care about my attention, however, when she is with her friends. Two, she is anxious about places, such as the mall, the supermarket, the library and the outdoors in general, even our back yard. She sometimes tells me that certain places " smell like worry. " Thanks also for your comment on how your son's maturity makes a difference. That helps me to feel hopeful that as my daughter grows, she may come to see that I am not responsible for her discomfort. Take care, Lesli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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