Re: Judging a book by its cover

[Guest guest]

No, I don't do it that way. Because it's not really about being right. I already

know we're right, and nothing anyone else does or says can change those facts. I

accept the fact that this has happened to me. I accept the fact that's it's not

comfortable or fun or profitable, or pretty much anything desirable at all. But

I do NOT accept that I should be disrespected at any time or for any reason. I

worked a lifetime to know my own worth and to respect myself. I know I didn't do

all that just to get to this point and let others mistreat or belittle me.

I was really only talking about personal interactions, though. That's my life,

not the bully pulpit. What I might say or do concerning this illness as a public

issue might be a whole other can of worms, depending on the context and who I

was talking to.

erikmoldwarrior <erikmoldwarrior@...> wrote:

Yes, I do this too, but I like to take it up a notch and ask

" Why did you completely discount my description and my credibility

when I called the formerly unexplained illness by a preliminary

name?

Serena

There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

...Ayn Rand,

paraphrased

---------------------------------

Photos

Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays,

whatever.

[Guest guest]

SERENA EDWARDS wrote:

>

> No, I don't do it that way. Because it's not really about being

right. I already know we're right, and nothing anyone else does or

says can change those facts. I accept the fact that this has

happened to me. I accept the fact that's it's not comfortable or fun

or profitable, or pretty much anything desirable at all. But I do

NOT accept that I should be disrespected at any time or for any

reason. I worked a lifetime to know my own worth and to respect

myself. I know I didn't do all that just to get to this point and

let others mistreat or belittle me.

>

Interesting how we see things so differently.

It is for the very fact that I consider my credibility to have been

treated with the greatest disrespect that I ask people why they

would accept my illness if I call it " mycotoxicosis " but reject the

reality of my description if I call it by some other name.

I believe that this has everything to do with being right, both

about the existence of the illness, and the fact that those who

treated the illness with derision were wrong to judge the book by

its cover.

I also believe that allowing someone to treat your illness

description with disrespect because they don't like some particular

name is allowing them to treat you with disrespect.

If I choose to call it CFS, they better learn to accept it, for they

are about to find out that they were very wrong to call us liars and

hypochondriacs.

-

[Guest guest]

I don't know that it's all that different, really. I won't argue that people

will surely disrespect you if you let them. But, as I said, I haven't got the

energy for all that. I have to pick my battles. Given the choice between a war

of words and taking care of me so I can come back and fight over the details

another day, I'm gonna choose to come back and fight later. My present treatment

of the problem is designed to head off all unnecessary energy suckage so I can

do something more productive - which for me, is to stay as strong as possible so

as to kick righteous butt in a highly targeted fashion. Purely a matter of

economy, that's all. (I'm pretty sure there's a moldie joke in there somewhere

about having an energy crisis, but it escapes me for the moment.)

erikmoldwarrior <erikmoldwarrior@...> wrote: Interesting how we see

things so differently.

It is for the very fact that I consider my credibility to have been

treated with the greatest disrespect that I ask people why they

would accept my illness if I call it " mycotoxicosis " but reject the

reality of my description if I call it by some other name.

I believe that this has everything to do with being right, both

about the existence of the illness, and the fact that those who

treated the illness with derision were wrong to judge the book by

its cover.

I also believe that allowing someone to treat your illness

description with disrespect because they don't like some particular

name is allowing them to treat you with disrespect.

If I choose to call it CFS, they better learn to accept it, for they

are about to find out that they were very wrong to call us liars and

hypochondriacs.

-

FAIR USE NOTICE:

[Guest guest]

Hey guys,

I am really interested in this discussion, having been sick most of my life off

and on with

what is most likely this same illness. I have been treated this way my whole

life, and have

had to work pretty hard to disregard all those people, yes even in your own

family, for

being disrespectful in the face of this illness. It is hard to disregard

EVERYONE!

There have only been a few people in my whole life who have been respectful

about it, and

this includes some doctors, professors, friends, family, you name it.

So we keep on swinging, keep on keeping our own counsel ( and following our own

counsel to be as well as possible), and try to still have some self esteem and

friends at the

same time.

WHEW! This is wearing me out.

> >

> > No, I don't do it that way. Because it's not really about being

> right. I already know we're right, and nothing anyone else does or

> says can change those facts. I accept the fact that this has

> happened to me. I accept the fact that's it's not comfortable or fun

> or profitable, or pretty much anything desirable at all. But I do

> NOT accept that I should be disrespected at any time or for any

> reason. I worked a lifetime to know my own worth and to respect

> myself. I know I didn't do all that just to get to this point and

> let others mistreat or belittle me.

> >

>

>

> Interesting how we see things so differently.

> It is for the very fact that I consider my credibility to have been

> treated with the greatest disrespect that I ask people why they

> would accept my illness if I call it " mycotoxicosis " but reject the

> reality of my description if I call it by some other name.

> I believe that this has everything to do with being right, both

> about the existence of the illness, and the fact that those who

> treated the illness with derision were wrong to judge the book by

> its cover.

> I also believe that allowing someone to treat your illness

> description with disrespect because they don't like some particular

> name is allowing them to treat you with disrespect.

> If I choose to call it CFS, they better learn to accept it, for they

> are about to find out that they were very wrong to call us liars and

> hypochondriacs.

> -

>

[Guest guest]

" kl_clayton " wrote:

> Hey guys,

> I am really interested in this discussion, having been sick most

of my life off and on with what is most likely this same illness. I

have been treated this way my whole life, and have had to work

pretty hard to disregard all those people, yes even in your own

family, for being disrespectful in the face of this illness. It is

hard to disregard EVERYONE!

>

I thought this illness should be called MELTDOWN disease.

Not only is that what happens to your life, it's a short list of

some things you've been accused of:

Malingering.

Exaggerating.

Lying.

Troubled.

Depressed.

Obsessive.

Weak.

Neurotic.

Now that it turns out that we weren't exaggerating at all, and this

is just as bad as we always said, instead of feeling the slightest

pinch of remorse for all the years of wrongful abuse and scorn, the

people who so liberally applied their flawed views now say that by

asserting that you were mistreated, you are just being vengeful and

malicious.

Isn't that great? They abuse you the whole time that they were

totally wrong, and feel good about themselves, and NOW that you are

vindicated, they get to say that you are wrong and spiteful for

pointing out that they were wrong to be abusive.

" Gotcha "

-

[Guest guest]

Sticks and stones, baby. You can tell who your friends are, because friends

don't treat you like that. I'm tough. But even on my best day, I don't feel

tough enough to fix all the ignorance and bad manners in the world. The hard job

for me is trying not to blame them or resent them for being what they are. After

all, that's _exactly_ what they do to us, and it isn't the least bit cool to be

on the receiving end of it. They're at least as screwed up as we are, just in a

different way. Not to be all Little Sunshine about it. I mean, I have a

kind of a mental running list of retorts now, which I may or may not vocalize,

depending.

Pity da fool: " Poor thing. Your momma didn't raise you right, did she? "

(Warning - doesn't work on siblings.)

Guilt Trip: " I know your momma raised you better than this. " (Works on

siblings AND your own kids!)

The Philosopher: " If no one clobbers you for being such a total butthead, some

day you'll get old and your body will begin to fail you. You will need to rely

on the kindness of others and the generosity of strangers. I wouldn't want to be

holding your ticket when the karma train pulls into the station. " (Doesn't

matter if they get it or not. The important thing is that I get it. At least if

they think I'm crazy, they'll clear a path.)

The Chuck Norris: Mentally picture yourself roundhouse kicking them into last

week. (Having placed them firmly and permanently in the past, we are free to

move on.)

Sadly, I had to leave out the ones with all the really choice expletives. This

could become a great new hobby!

I just haven't got room for any more poison. I'm full up over here. I want to

live, so I finally decided I had to go all ninja about it. PoisonED people are

far better for me than PoisonOUS people. At least the first kind aren't usually

contagious, and if they are, they can wash it off. The second kind, I'm not so

darned smart I know how to fix. I avoid those suckers just like mold every

chance I get. I can call them on it, all right. But I can't change what they

are, so they aren't welcome in my space any more.

Serena

There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

...Ayn Rand,

paraphrased

---------------------------------

Bring words and photos together (easily) with

PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

[Guest guest]

Bingo!!!!The truth really does HURT some,if you still have a

conscious.?

> > Hey guys,

> > I am really interested in this discussion, having been sick most

> of my life off and on with what is most likely this same illness.

I

> have been treated this way my whole life, and have had to work

> pretty hard to disregard all those people, yes even in your own

> family, for being disrespectful in the face of this illness. It is

> hard to disregard EVERYONE!

> >

>

>

> I thought this illness should be called MELTDOWN disease.

> Not only is that what happens to your life, it's a short list of

> some things you've been accused of:

> Malingering.

> Exaggerating.

> Lying.

> Troubled.

> Depressed.

> Obsessive.

> Weak.

> Neurotic.

>

> Now that it turns out that we weren't exaggerating at all, and

this

> is just as bad as we always said, instead of feeling the slightest

> pinch of remorse for all the years of wrongful abuse and scorn,

the

> people who so liberally applied their flawed views now say that by

> asserting that you were mistreated, you are just being vengeful

and

> malicious.

> Isn't that great? They abuse you the whole time that they were

> totally wrong, and feel good about themselves, and NOW that you

are

> vindicated, they get to say that you are wrong and spiteful for

> pointing out that they were wrong to be abusive.

>

> " Gotcha "

> -

>

[Guest guest]

BOY DID U SAY A MOUTHFUL, SERENA--THANKS FOR THE THOUGHTS & THE POSSIBLE

RETORTS FOR THE FUTURE!

TAKE CARE,

VICTORIA

Re: [] Re: Judging a book by its cover

> Sticks and stones, baby. You can tell who your friends are, because

> friends don't treat you like that. I'm tough. But even on my best day, I

> don't feel tough enough to fix all the ignorance and bad manners in the

> world. The hard job for me is trying not to blame them or resent them for

> being what they are. After all, that's _exactly_ what they do to us, and

> it isn't the least bit cool to be on the receiving end of it. They're at

> least as screwed up as we are, just in a different way. Not to be all

> Little Sunshine about it. I mean, I have a kind of a mental running

> list of retorts now, which I may or may not vocalize, depending.

>

> Pity da fool: " Poor thing. Your momma didn't raise you right, did she? "

> (Warning - doesn't work on siblings.)

>

> Guilt Trip: " I know your momma raised you better than this. " (Works on

> siblings AND your own kids!)

>

> The Philosopher: " If no one clobbers you for being such a total butthead,

> some day you'll get old and your body will begin to fail you. You will

> need to rely on the kindness of others and the generosity of strangers. I

> wouldn't want to be holding your ticket when the karma train pulls into

> the station. " (Doesn't matter if they get it or not. The important thing

> is that I get it. At least if they think I'm crazy, they'll clear a path.)

>

> The Chuck Norris: Mentally picture yourself roundhouse kicking them into

> last week. (Having placed them firmly and permanently in the past, we are

> free to move on.)

>

> Sadly, I had to leave out the ones with all the really choice expletives.

> This could become a great new hobby!

>

> I just haven't got room for any more poison. I'm full up over here. I

> want to live, so I finally decided I had to go all ninja about it.

> PoisonED people are far better for me than PoisonOUS people. At least the

> first kind aren't usually contagious, and if they are, they can wash it

> off. The second kind, I'm not so darned smart I know how to fix. I avoid

> those suckers just like mold every chance I get. I can call them on it,

> all right. But I can't change what they are, so they aren't welcome in my

> space any more.

>

>

>

>

> Serena

>

> There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

> ...Ayn

> Rand, paraphrased

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Bring words and photos together (easily) with

> PhotoMail - it's free and works with .

>

>

[Guest guest]

Feel free to elaborate and expand, m'dear. I can always use a new one! Seems to

be and endless supply of buttheads to try them out on. : )

<toria@...> wrote: BOY DID U SAY A MOUTHFUL, SERENA--THANKS FOR

THE THOUGHTS & THE POSSIBLE

RETORTS FOR THE FUTURE!

TAKE CARE,

VICTORIA

Serena

There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

...Ayn Rand,

paraphrased

---------------------------------

What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

[Guest guest]

I love your way with words. But seriously, even my own mom doesn't get it, even

though

she loves me more than anyone alive. She nursed me through a hell of a childhood

of

suffering with severe chronic asthma. She got up every night to give me meds.

When I

could not breathe and was turning blue, she saved me every time, lovingly, even

after

being awakened in the middle of the night with only 2 hours of sleep. She would

not do

anyting intentionally to hurt my feelings (except for the once in awhile digs in

humor), and

wants me to be well. Can't get any more altruistic than that. She has sympathy

for me. But

she is healthy. A healthy person can't truly get what a sick person goes

through.

Yes, I do ok with the resentment thing most of the time, but I spend most of my

time

alone, so I am not getting my condition thrown in my face all the time. Except

for the

living part of it, but I get GREAT mileage out of living in denial of it.

>

> Sticks and stones, baby. You can tell who your friends are, because friends

don't treat

you like that. I'm tough. But even on my best day, I don't feel tough enough to

fix all the

ignorance and bad manners in the world. The hard job for me is trying not to

blame them

or resent them for being what they are. After all, that's _exactly_ what they do

to us, and it

isn't the least bit cool to be on the receiving end of it. They're at least as

screwed up as we

are, just in a different way. Not to be all Little Sunshine about it. I

mean, I have a kind

of a mental running list of retorts now, which I may or may not vocalize,

depending.

>

> Pity da fool: " Poor thing. Your momma didn't raise you right, did she? "

(Warning -

doesn't work on siblings.)

>

> Guilt Trip: " I know your momma raised you better than this. " (Works on

siblings AND

your own kids!)

LOL- I have used this one, and it DOES work! It also works on husbands.

>

> The Philosopher: " If no one clobbers you for being such a total butthead,

some day

you'll get old and your body will begin to fail you. You will need to rely on

the kindness of

others and the generosity of strangers. I wouldn't want to be holding your

ticket when the

karma train pulls into the station. " (Doesn't matter if they get it or not. The

important

thing is that I get it. At least if they think I'm crazy, they'll clear a path.)

Yeah, if they think I'm crazy, they back away, slowly, staring, giving me plenty

of room.

And I'm 5'1 " .

>

> The Chuck Norris: Mentally picture yourself roundhouse kicking them into

last week.

(Having placed them firmly and permanently in the past, we are free to move on.)

Chuck is OK, but I love Zena, warrior princess. First time I saw a woman kick

serious butt. I

need a Zena bumper sticker, maybe.

>

> Sadly, I had to leave out the ones with all the really choice expletives.

This could

become a great new hobby!

>

> I just haven't got room for any more poison. I'm full up over here. I want

to live, so I

finally decided I had to go all ninja about it. PoisonED people are far better

for me than

PoisonOUS people. At least the first kind aren't usually contagious, and if they

are, they

can wash it off. The second kind, I'm not so darned smart I know how to fix. I

avoid those

suckers just like mold every chance I get. I can call them on it, all right. But

I can't change

what they are, so they aren't welcome in my space any more.

>

>

>

>

> Serena

I really appreciate your taling about the whole energy thing. It takes alot of

energy to

educate people, and if they don't WANT t get it, they won't. Like my hubby says,

trying to

teach your kids (insert people) is like throwing mud against a wall. Some of it

sticks, some

of it doesn't. You find out later what did stick, but you keep on trying.

I have my hands full with trying to be well, and when I am better enough, I can

do a few

chores, understand my mail, and still eat. You all know the drill. There just

isn't enough

energy in the day to try to deal with everyone. I practice more avoidance.

Sometimes to

avoid conflict, mostly to observe the laws of physics- conservation of energy

and

momentum.

[Guest guest]

Guilt Trip: " I know your momma raised you better than this. " (Works on siblings

AND

your own kids!)

LOL- I have used this one, and it DOES work! It also works on husbands.

Ooooh - I didn't think about that!

Yeah, exactly so with the physics lesson. It takes so much more energy to get

back up than to just stay up. When you're working from an energy deficit in the

first place, whooo. It's gets harder to get back up every time. I'm looking at

everybody and everything, all the time, thinking, " Are you gonna knock me down,

or help me on my way? " That's totally foreign to me - a very, very different

mindset. Blehhhh, lots ta learn. 8 P

Serena

There is no such thing as an anomaly. Recheck your original premise.

...Ayn Rand,

paraphrased

---------------------------------

Bring words and photos together (easily) with

PhotoMail - it's free and works with .