Welcome to @onelist.com

[Guest guest]

======== Original Message ========

Hello,

Welcome to the list. Please take a moment to review this message.

[Guest guest]

Louis,thank you for the welcoming.I am so busy this week with the kids off

but I wanted to say a brief hello.I have a 9 yr.old son named Jordan who has

Tourettes and OCD.He takes catapress and zoloft.The past two months or so

the tics have been the least of his problems.His compulsions are getting the

best of him.We had 2 very major episodes and he has been having what I would

call breakdowns or meltdowns at night.Especially if I want to run out to the

store at nite.he goes beserk to not have me in the house.I have been trying

to find a behavior therapist but my ins. co. sends me a 13 pg. list not in

alphabetical order with the same names on it 5 times and doesn't even say

which ones are for children.What a pain. Anyway I am glad to be a part of

this list and look forward to learning from everyone here.Hopefully my

2cents with help someone too.By the way I am on Long Island in N.Y. Best

Regards,Hope

Welcome to onelist

>Hello,

>

>Welcome to the list. Please take a moment to review this message.

>

>

[Guest guest]

hello all I have changed my one-list e-mail locaion to a site.

our family e mail was getting too full. My name is Vivian and I have a

15y/o son with OCD. Thanks for all your suggestions and I hope I can

figure out how to make this type larger. Later

--- -owneronelist wrote:

> Hello,

>

> Welcome to the list. Please take a moment to review

> this message.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. My name is allie and i have a 9 yr. old son with ocd. he also

has a very mild case of touretts. does any one have this problem too? if so I

would like to hear from you. we have tried several medications and now my son

is on luvox for the ocd. it works so so, not great. his behavior seems to

have gotten worse, and I was wondering if any of your childrens behavoir

worsened, due to the meds. I was also wonderin g if anyone knows of any

support groups for children with ocd, in palm beach county, florida.

[Guest guest]

My daughter's behavior worsened on Luvox. Some people notice this at first and

then it gets better so it's probably worth it to try it at least for awhile. We

tried it for too long, 5

months, because her doctor blew off my concerns that the Luvox might be causing

the over-excited, way too exhuberant, impertinent, mouthy and obnoxious behavior

she started exhibiting at home

and at school, and instead sent us to a therapist to deal with " pre-adolescent

mother-daughter issues " . What a waste of time and money not to mention worry !

Anyway, I decided ($600 later)

to stop the Luvox and she changed back to her old sweet self. Now she takes

Paxil and it's worked well for her. But I know other people have had success

with Luvox so I'm not saying it's

not worth giving it a chance; just sharing my experience.

Dana in NC

Mahida@... wrote:

> From: Mahida@...

>

> Hi everyone. My name is allie and i have a 9 yr. old son with ocd. he also

> has a very mild case of touretts. does any one have this problem too? if so I

> would like to hear from you. we have tried several medications and now my son

> is on luvox for the ocd. it works so so, not great. his behavior seems to

> have gotten worse, and I was wondering if any of your childrens behavoir

> worsened, due to the meds. I was also wonderin g if anyone knows of any

> support groups for children with ocd, in palm beach county, florida.

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html

[Guest guest]

My daughter (5) has been taking Luvox for about a month now, I have noticed

worsening behavior such as anger, defiance, argumentativeness, etc. Her

emotions seem heightened too and she becomes very upset over small things

and cries easily, way overreacts to small problems. She also has been

getting very anxious, animated and charged up, having bad ocd (she tells me)

every evening starting around dinnertime and continuing until bedtime, this

greatly interferes with settling down for sleep. However, these seem small

problems compared to the ones she had when taking Prozac that for now we are

hanging in there to see what may diminish in time.

Kathy R. in Indiana

Re: Welcome to onelist

> From: Mahida@...

>

> Hi everyone. My name is allie and i have a 9 yr. old son with ocd. he

also

> has a very mild case of touretts. does any one have this problem too? if

so I

> would like to hear from you. we have tried several medications and now my

son

> is on luvox for the ocd. it works so so, not great. his behavior seems to

> have gotten worse, and I was wondering if any of your childrens behavoir

> worsened, due to the meds. I was also wonderin g if anyone knows of any

> support groups for children with ocd, in palm beach county, florida.

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Shop.theglobe.com * One-Stop Shopping * Free Shipping in U.S.!

> Live Personal Shopper * Satisfaction Guaranteed * No Hassle Returns!

> Accessories, Apparel, Jewelry, Kids, Sporting Goods, Apparel, More!!

> /ad/shoptheglobe0

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit

their web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom

support at http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html

>

[Guest guest]

Kathy, I can't find your number. Beth in IN>

Re: Welcome to onelist

>

>

> > From: Mahida@...

> >

> > Hi everyone. My name is allie and i have a 9 yr. old son with ocd. he

> also

> > has a very mild case of touretts. does any one have this problem too? if

> so I

> > would like to hear from you. we have tried several medications and now

my

> son

> > is on luvox for the ocd. it works so so, not great. his behavior seems

to

> > have gotten worse, and I was wondering if any of your childrens behavoir

> > worsened, due to the meds. I was also wonderin g if anyone knows of any

> > support groups for children with ocd, in palm beach county, florida.

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > Shop.theglobe.com * One-Stop Shopping * Free Shipping in U.S.!

> > Live Personal Shopper * Satisfaction Guaranteed * No Hassle Returns!

> > Accessories, Apparel, Jewelry, Kids, Sporting Goods, Apparel, More!!

> > /ad/shoptheglobe0

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit

> their web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom

> support at http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html

> >

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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> /ad/iVillage0. We've got experts and over a

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> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit

their web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom

support at http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html

[Guest guest]

I'm not sure how to get back to you. Is it just by e-mailing

onelist? This is all new to me. Someone suggested I

subscribe to this service as there were other parents of ocd kids and I would

get advice (and sympathy!)

My son is 8 years old and has had ocd for about one year. It is so bad now

that he has been prescribed Paxil. I'm trying to get as much info about this

drug as possible before I start him on it. His ocd includes constant

handwashing and feelings that " dirt " is going into his mouth. The bathroom

is contaminated as is most of our house. But going to school is not a

problem - so far.

I appreciate any help and/or advice.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Welcome ,

Yes, just email the list address.

As far as Paxil goes, my 11 yr old daughter has been taking it for a year with

good results. She has tried others but didn't like the side effects. I was

always cautious about any

medications, I treated her early ear infections, fevers etc. homeopathically,

nursed her till she was 3 - we even had a homebirth. But for me, Paxil has made

the difference between misery

and success. It doesn't solve all of it,and I am taking her back to the doctor

to see if she can do some CBT, but life without this drug would be intolerable

for both of us.

My husband has OCD too and he has finally started some CBT but he says he

wouldn't be able to do it w/o Paxil. I think for both of them it reduces the

anxiety enough to do the CBT work (BTW

he has contamination OCD too).

Some people just do CBT or drugs and CBT and then taper off the drugs. I don't

know where you live but it is important that you see a doctor who specializes in

OCD, otherwise you can go down

a path of frustration with docs who just don't get it.

This list has been a great help to me and I hope it is for you too.

Dana in NC

BULLERCO@... wrote:

> From: BULLERCO@...

>

> I'm not sure how to get back to you. Is it just by e-mailing

> onelist? This is all new to me. Someone suggested I

> subscribe to this service as there were other parents of ocd kids and I would

> get advice (and sympathy!)

>

> My son is 8 years old and has had ocd for about one year. It is so bad now

> that he has been prescribed Paxil. I'm trying to get as much info about this

> drug as possible before I start him on it. His ocd includes constant

> handwashing and feelings that " dirt " is going into his mouth. The bathroom

> is contaminated as is most of our house. But going to school is not a

> problem - so far.

>

> I appreciate any help and/or advice.

>

> Thanks,

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Are you hogging all the fun?

>

> Friends tell friends about ONElist!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit their

web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom support at

http://www.ocdhelp.org/chat.html

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 99-05-20 00:57:01 EDT, you write:

<< he has been prescribed Paxil. I'm trying to get as much info about this

drug as possible before I start him on it. >>

My 8 year old has been on Paxil for several months. I see no side effects

at all , and it has completely eradicated his OCD symptoms!! Good luck,

[Guest guest]

BULLERCO@... wrote:

>

> From: BULLERCO@...

>

> I'm not sure how to get back to you. Is it just by e-mailing

> onelist? This is all new to me. Someone suggested I

> subscribe to this service as there were other parents of ocd kids and I would

> get advice (and sympathy!)

>

> My son is 8 years old and has had ocd for about one year. It is so bad now

> that he has been prescribed Paxil. I'm trying to get as much info about this

> drug as possible before I start him on it. His ocd includes constant

> handwashing and feelings that " dirt " is going into his mouth. The bathroom

> is contaminated as is most of our house. But going to school is not a

> problem - so far.

>

> I appreciate any help and/or advice.

>

> Thanks,

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Are you hogging all the fun?

>

> Friends tell friends about ONElist!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The is sponsored by the OCSDA. You may visit their

web site at http://www.ocdhelp.org/ and view schedules for chatroom support at

http

Dear ,

I am new to this list, I have a 10 year old daughter with OCD and

depression. I also have a 5 year old daughter who has not yet shown

early signs of the same thing.

My Doctor told me that Paxil is one of the safest drugs, it only stays

in your system for 24 hours so it does need to be taken everyday. I

myself am on Paxil and have been for the past 3 years, it has made my

depression much more bearable. My 10 year old , has just been

diagnosed and has been put on Prozac. She has only been on it for about

10 days but I can already see the difference in her. does not

have the hand washing or contamination problem, instead she worries

alot and if things don't go how they should then she can not function

the rest of the day. She goes into rages and they have lasted anywhere

from a day to 2 weeks. When she is in those rages we can't say anything

to her without making her more upset. I have compiled so much info on

OCD and Depression that I have gotten from the OCD foundation and it has

helped me understand what she is going through. Also reading all the

letters from other parents has helped me to know I am not the only one

going through this.

Someone just wrote how a child with OCD is like someone replaced them

with another child, and boy are they right. That is exactly how we feel

when she goes off.

Hope this helps. Cheryl

[Guest guest]

Welcome to onelist

>Hello,

>

>Welcome to the list. Please take a moment to review this message.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello to everyone,

I am the mother of a 7yr old daughter who was diagnosed at 3yrs old. Most of

her ocd symptoms are issues with clothing. She also has to inspect my

husband's face for " dry " skin & pick at it. Another thing that she does it

lick her hands then wipe them across her feet. She saids that her feet are

" too soft " . The most difficult thing to deal with is the clothes!! Which

includes anything that she wears!! She can't wear shoes with shoestrings or

buckles. The shoestrings are never the same length & the buckles never feel

the same tightness. Socks never line right or they don't do right around her

heel. Underwear is out of the question!! That was her very first problem.

Long sleeve shirts bother her because they " bend " at the elbow. Pants bend at

the knee & they never touch in the right place around her ankle. She has been

wearing the same shirt EVERY day for weeks. It was the same 2 shirts for a

couple of months, but now only one of them is ok. She has 2 pr of shorts that

she wears every day. These clothes look terrrible!! They have been washed so

many times that they are about to fall apart!! Enough about that, I could go

on forever about all the little problems that we have with clothes! We have

recently taken her off of anafranil. She was taking 100mg of anafranil at

night & 20mg prozac in the morning. She got better for a couple of months

then things started going bad again. After waiting a few months of the ocd

being really bad again, we decided we had to make a change. So her dr slowly

took her off the anafranil & slowly increased her prozac to 60 mg!! After

being on 60mg prozac for 2wks we knew that we had to reduce it. She began

talking about wanting to kill herself & calling me & my husband ugly names.

We brought to 40mg a couple of days ago. Her doctor said that we are going to

have to bring it back to 20mg. She began having problems with completing her

school work. She tries but then she will mess up on it & say, I can't do it. "

Her teacher (who just took over for her original teacher a few weeks ago)

thinks it's a power struggle. I don't think so. Please let me know what you

think. She only has this problem once before with her original teacher & it

was during an adjustment in meds. It didn't last long. But this teacher is

telling her that she can't participate in fun activities if she doesn't

complete her work. I am going to the school tomorrow to observe her during

class without her knowing (meghan, my daughter, that is.) Sorry to have such

a long email. Being my first I guess I am trying to share everything all at

once. Hope to hear from anyone with their thoughts. Thanks. Wanda

[Guest guest]

Hi Wanda,

Welcome to the list. I too have a 7-year old daughter with OCD who was

recently diagnosed. Are you doing cognitive behavioral therapy with your

daughter? This has made a dramatic difference with Kelsey, who basically

wouldn't eat or wear clothes because of contamination fears when she was

first diagnosed in March.

About the problem completing her school work, it's hard to know if it's the

OCD or not. I am an art docent in Kelsey's class and when we drew

butterflies last week, probably 50% of the class said they " messed up " and

wanted to start over. I think at this age many kids have issues about

wanting things to look just right. I talk a lot with Kelsey about how we

can " fix things " when we draw, make them into something else rather than

starting over. On the other hand, she has had problems completing work that

are definitely related to OCD. She erases and erases over the same letter

because it doesn't look perfect. Her handwriting has gone from being the

neatest in the class to a sloppy mess with spaces between the letters, one

word on a line, etc. She's so exhausted and stressed after writing that she

has a stomach ache and is too tired to get work done that would take

another child a few minutes to complete.

You could be noticing the beginning of an avoidance compulsion when things

don't look " just so. " You should probably begin to educate the teacher

about OCD so she doesn't start to get too stressed about school because she

is always punished for not completing work. (I used the OCF's pamphlet on

OCD for teachers and the " Touching Tree " video from OCF which was

excellent.)

Good luck!

in S.D.

[Guest guest]

Hi Wanda,

Welcome to the list. My name is Lesli and my daughter, andra is 5 and 1/2.

She was diagnosed with OCD last fall. I don't think the problem your daughter

is having with school work is

a power struggle, although it could become one if not handled with some

sensitivity.

andra goes to a very academic kindergarten (a little too academic for my

taste, but it's our public school) and has the same problems you are describing.

She either wants to erase and

start over a lot or she just rushes through the work very sloppily, sort as a

means to propel herself through it with the least anxiety. We're starting to

see lots of unfinished work and

sometimes her teacher sends it home for her to complete but fortunately doesn't

make a big deal of it in class.

About the clothing issues - boy can we ever relate! Prozac has helped and we

are fortunate about that, we also do therapy on this issue. But most days she

goes to school looking like a rag

doll. I give her lots of praise for wearing things that she's been avoiding or

for wearing new things.

Take care,

Lesli

[Guest guest]

Hi! My name is and I am new to the list. I have a seven year old

son, Joe, who was recently diagnosed with OCD. There is a possibility that

he may also have tourettes. He started taking Celexa as a first medication

last Jan 29. The neurologist he sees, just raised his dosage from 25 to

30mgs. today. I don't believe there has been a big improvement in his OCD

to date, but it is hard to judge because the compulsion change and some

days are worse than others.

I knew very little about OCD until recently when I began to educate

myself on the topic. It appears to me that the best course of treatment is

to undergo CBT along with taking medication. I live in northern Wisconsin

and am at a loss to find anyone nearby to work with my son. We have had

several sessions with a hospital social worker who has never worked with OCD

in children before. I would really like to find someone with some expertise

in this area. I would be willing to drive the distance if I could find

someone good in Wisconsin or Eastern Minnisota (that specializes in or has

experience working with children in CBT). Does anyone have any suggestions

for me? Thank you. Finding this list has been so valuable to me. Coming

from a rural area, I feel as though I have no one who relates to my problem.

I have spoken with my son's guidance counselor who has been at the school

for 25 years and he is not even familiar with the disorder. Because my son

only recently began having visible symptoms, it is very difficult for me to

explain to others just what is going on with him. I feel like I owe other

parents an explaination if my child goes over to their house to play. What

does one say? Thanks for listening - -----

Original Message-----

From: -owneronelist <-owneronelist>

bird@... <bird@...>

Date: Tuesday, June 01, 1999 8:38 PM

Subject: Welcome to onelist

>Hello,

>

>Welcome to the list.

>

>Our list exists to provide support and information for parents of children

with OCD

>or one of it's related spectrum disorders.

>

>Please introduce yourself and tell us about your family as soon as

>you feel comfortable. Our list needs your participation.

>

>Take care.

>

>Louis

>louisharkins_4@...

>ICQ: 38330756

>Fax: 1-408-293-2266 Ext. 30071

>/subscribe/ and

>/subscribe/ocdandhomeschooling

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi :

Welcome to the list. You will find many of us here who

have very similar experiences to those you have with Joe. I have a son,

Steve, who has OCD, major depressive disorder and PTSD-Type 1. At first

the psychiatrist thought he had Tourettes or a tic disorder too, and then

it turned out to be a compulsion.

You are right about CBT being considered the first line treatment for our

kids with OCD. Some, like our Steve, need meds too to help them do the

work of CBT or to combat their depression. What often happens is that it

takes about 10-12 weeks at the highest dosage of the medication (and

believe it or not docs often give adult dosages to our little kids pretty

successfully) for you to determine if Celexa will be effective for Joe.

Some people do respond well to lower dosages though and often when they

have done CBT, their medication can be reduced considerably and sometimes

they can be completely weaned off it.

Working out the medication puzzle can take a lot of patience and time. The

best way we have found of figuring out who would be a good CBT therapist is

to network with other OCD parents in our area. IN a rural area this can be

very difficult to do. We had to fly 500 miles round trip to take my son to

CBT and it was a bust after six months of weekly travel. Luckily he got

going after the third treatment series. I did meet a very nice mom from

Wisconsin at the OCF conference in St. Louis last year and she told me she

travelled to Chicago to take her daughter to Dr. A.J. , who is a very

well respected OCD expert. If you check out the support group listing on

the OCF website (http://www.ocfoundation.org) there should be a listing for

a Wisconsin support group not too far from where you live. Members of that

support group should be able to make some recommendations. IF this does

not get you any good leads please write back to the list and I know we can

give more suggestions for leads to follow up on.

YOu ask a very good question about how to talk about Joe and his OCD with

other parents. Often our OCDers really don't like to have this discussed,

they are embarrassed and get upset if we discuss this with others. So

their desires have to be balanced against informing others so they can be

sensitive and help our kids if they get into a difficult situation while

playing with other kids.

Every family handles this in their own way. For us we have been fairly

open about Steve's OCD, particularly because his OCD was severe and he was

suicidal. It was really hard to hide there was a problem, our family life

was in total disarray. I have given some friends information I got off the

internet, with some people I just say he gets a bit anxious. You need to

be ready for a pretty wide variety of responses, some very supportive and

some not supportive and many who really don't see any problem exists.

Definitely it is your choice what you want to say, you need not feel any

obligation to explain things fully. It can be exhausting having to explain

OCD over and over again to teachers, friends, etc. etc.

Looking forward to reading more of your posts about Joe's progress. take

care, aloha, Kathy (Ha)

kathyh@...

You wrote:

>From: " Ron and Simurdiak " <bird@...>

>

>Hi! My name is and I am new to the list. I have a seven year old

>son, Joe, who was recently diagnosed with OCD. There is a possibility that

>he may also have tourettes. He started taking Celexa as a first medication

>last Jan 29. The neurologist he sees, just raised his dosage from 25 to

>30mgs. today. I don't believe there has been a big improvement in his OCD

>to date, but it is hard to judge because the compulsion change and some

>days are worse than others.

> I knew very little about OCD until recently when I began to educate

>myself on the topic. It appears to me that the best course of treatment is

>to undergo CBT along with taking medication. I live in northern Wisconsin

>and am at a loss to find anyone nearby to work with my son. We have had

>several sessions with a hospital social worker who has never worked with OCD

>in children before. I would really like to find someone with some expertise

>in this area. I would be willing to drive the distance if I could find

>someone good in Wisconsin or Eastern Minnisota (that specializes in or has

>experience working with children in CBT). Does anyone have any suggestions

>for me? Thank you. Finding this list has been so valuable to me. Coming

>from a rural area, I feel as though I have no one who relates to my problem.

>I have spoken with my son's guidance counselor who has been at the school

>for 25 years and he is not even familiar with the disorder. Because my son

>only recently began having visible symptoms, it is very difficult for me to

>explain to others just what is going on with him. I feel like I owe other

>parents an explaination if my child goes over to their house to play. What

>does one say? Thanks for listening - -----

>Original Message-----

>From: -owneronelist <-owneronelist>

>bird@... <bird@...>

>Date: Tuesday, June 01, 1999 8:38 PM

>Subject: Welcome to onelist

>

>

>>Hello,

>>

>>Welcome to the list.

>>

>>Our list exists to provide support and information for parents of children

>with OCD

>>or one of it's related spectrum disorders.

>>

>>Please introduce yourself and tell us about your family as soon as

>>you feel comfortable. Our list needs your participation.

>>

>>Take care.

>>

>>Louis

>>louisharkins_4@...

>>ICQ: 38330756

>>Fax: 1-408-293-2266 Ext. 30071

>>/subscribe/ and

>>/subscribe/ocdandhomeschooling

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Welcome to the list. I hope Kathy's suggestions for finding a CBT therapist

work for you as I really feel this is the key to getting better! I have a

7-year old daughter Kelsey who was diagnosed with severe OCD at the end of

March. She was not eating or wearing clothes then. We have done 8 weeks of

CBT since then (no medications) and she is about 75% better already.

Good luck!

in San Diego

[Guest guest]

Hi All, I have been reading and not writing to much,just something I'm going

through. Last week was hard for me we had friends over,they have a son 3

days younger than e;and use to live across the street from us. We have

always been real close to them and have always had a Christmas get together

w/them ,birthdays,and many other times through the year. Well I had them

over for dinner last week , e was hyper from the Paxil was a little

mouthy( I seen worse) Well anyway My friend was looking out the door just

in time to see e hit her son. She went flying out the door and ask e

why she was hitting Josh,she said he was bad mouthing her. I felt sooooo bad

,she took Josh into the bathroom to talk to him.I talk to e ,she

wouldn't say much ,she was just acting funny that night(not like

herself)When Sharon and Josh came out of the bathroom ,Sharon said it was

time for them to leave. I felt so bad,told them how sorry I was , and that I

was going to cut back on the Paxil. e was taking 10 mg. now she is on

5,it's been 5days now and there is a big improvement.When they were leaving

I told Sharon I would see how e was doing by Sat. (their having a big

birthday party for Josh's friends and their parents) I must say that e

doesn't act like that all the time , and Sharon knows that. Sharon called me

2 days ago , asked how things were going? I told her e was fine and that

I cut back on the Paxil ,and that e been playing just fine and hasn't

hit anyone. She said her and Ray (her husband) were talking and they felt

that it would be better if e didn't come to the party.I thought I would

just die! She said they were having 15 children over and their parents and

they didn't want anything to happen.I was so taken back by the whole thing

that I just said we weren't planning on coming " Oh I thought you were going

to see how things were going for e " There was allot more said ,she said

she hadn't sleep over the whole thing.I told her I was so sorry.Sharon is a

nice person,who has to have everything perfect in her live,I know this is a

problem for her,and I must say her children are perfect , " So far " . I guess

the thing that hurt the most was when she said ,they loved us and that we

could get together ,when e was at her mom's and they could get a

sitter.We all go to church together,so it's not like the kids won't see each

other.We are leaving for St. Louis next thur.and we'll be there 2wks.Thanks

for letting me Vent. Love Beth in IN. PS. We would of never think of going

if e was having a bad day.I don't think things we'll ever be the same

between us.

Re: Welcome to onelist

> From: Roman <ChrisRoman@...>

>

> Hi ,

>

> Welcome to the list. I hope Kathy's suggestions for finding a CBT

therapist

> work for you as I really feel this is the key to getting better! I have a

> 7-year old daughter Kelsey who was diagnosed with severe OCD at the end of

> March. She was not eating or wearing clothes then. We have done 8 weeks of

> CBT since then (no medications) and she is about 75% better already.

> Good luck!

>

> in San Diego

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Give back to your community through " Grow to Give. "

>

> Deadline is June 19. See homepage for details.

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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> In the body of your message write:

> subscribe OCD-L your name.

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> date of entry.

[Guest guest]

Beth,

I'm so sorry about your terrible experience with Sharon. I think some

people just haven't had to muster the strength and perspective that we have

as parents of OCD kids. Perhaps her perfect world felt too " threatened " by

Kylie's bad day. I think you need to view this as her insecurity and take

the experience as information about her level of maturity. However, I know

how hard it is to see others recoil when you and your child need EXTRA

support and love from caring friends. I told a friend who has panic attacks

recently about Kelsey and she's been strangely quiet. I think she may have

mild OCD herself and doesn't want to think about it much or be too close to

it.

Remember-the way people react tells you more about them than it does about

Kylie. Five-year olds do hit sometimes, and that's no reason to go racing

out of the house!!

Hugs,

in San Diego

[Guest guest]

Hi Beth:

I am so sorry for your pain about what happened with Sharon and Josh. I

have noticed that some people do not bring their kids to my house, even

though Steve has only been violent towards family members, and he hasn't

done this for a very long time. People are so frightened of mental illness

and they also rationalize that they must protect their young. We just have

to respect their perspective and give them a chance to be willing to take a

risk later.

What I have found is that my friends who have kids with NBDs are much more

understanding and willing to risk confrontations and bad behaviors. Now if

only I could get Steve not to be judgemental about their kid's problems and

want to play with them, things would work better. Well his therapist is

working with us on his empathy and social skills.

Sometimes I do wonder if people were not aware of OCD and medications and

if this was just a physical incident between any two kids, would the

parents still want no contact. I think they would want to try to work it

out and teach the kids not to behave this way. That is how we try to work

with Steve and so far it has been working well. Perhaps you only need a

breather and in time Sharon will change her mind about letting e play

with Josh. This is a hard lesson for e but if we want our kids to live

in society they have to learn what typical responses of " normal " people

will be to their aggressive behavior so they learn to be responsible for it.

Good luck, take care and keep us posted how things develop. Aloha, Kathy (Ha)

kathyh@...

At 08:40 AM 6/4/99 -0500, you wrote:

>From: " Wayt " <rwwayt@...>

>

>Hi All, I have been reading and not writing to much,just something I'm going

>through. Last week was hard for me we had friends over,they have a son 3

>days younger than e;and use to live across the street from us. We have

>always been real close to them and have always had a Christmas get together

>w/them ,birthdays,and many other times through the year. Well I had them

>over for dinner last week , e was hyper from the Paxil was a little

>mouthy( I seen worse) Well anyway My friend was looking out the door just

>in time to see e hit her son. She went flying out the door and ask e

>why she was hitting Josh,she said he was bad mouthing her. I felt sooooo bad

>,she took Josh into the bathroom to talk to him.I talk to e ,she

>wouldn't say much ,she was just acting funny that night(not like

>herself)When Sharon and Josh came out of the bathroom ,Sharon said it was

>time for them to leave. I felt so bad,told them how sorry I was , and that I

>was going to cut back on the Paxil. e was taking 10 mg. now she is on

>5,it's been 5days now and there is a big improvement.When they were leaving

>I told Sharon I would see how e was doing by Sat. (their having a big

>birthday party for Josh's friends and their parents) I must say that e

>doesn't act like that all the time , and Sharon knows that. Sharon called me

>2 days ago , asked how things were going? I told her e was fine and that

>I cut back on the Paxil ,and that e been playing just fine and hasn't

>hit anyone. She said her and Ray (her husband) were talking and they felt

>that it would be better if e didn't come to the party.I thought I would

>just die! She said they were having 15 children over and their parents and

>they didn't want anything to happen.I was so taken back by the whole thing

>that I just said we weren't planning on coming " Oh I thought you were going

>to see how things were going for e " There was allot more said ,she said

>she hadn't sleep over the whole thing.I told her I was so sorry.Sharon is a

>nice person,who has to have everything perfect in her live,I know this is a

>problem for her,and I must say her children are perfect , " So far " . I guess

>the thing that hurt the most was when she said ,they loved us and that we

>could get together ,when e was at her mom's and they could get a

>sitter.We all go to church together,so it's not like the kids won't see each

>other.We are leaving for St. Louis next thur.and we'll be there 2wks.Thanks

>for letting me Vent. Love Beth in IN. PS. We would of never think of going

>if e was having a bad day.I don't think things we'll ever be the same

>between us.

> Re: Welcome to onelist

>

>

>> From: Roman <ChrisRoman@...>

>>

>> Hi ,

>>

>> Welcome to the list. I hope Kathy's suggestions for finding a CBT

>therapist

>> work for you as I really feel this is the key to getting better! I have a

>> 7-year old daughter Kelsey who was diagnosed with severe OCD at the end of

>> March. She was not eating or wearing clothes then. We have done 8 weeks of

>> CBT since then (no medications) and she is about 75% better already.

>> Good luck!

>>

>> in San Diego

>>

>>

>>

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> Give back to your community through " Grow to Give. "

>>

>> Deadline is June 19. See homepage for details.

>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>> You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing

>> listserv@... .

>> In the body of your message write:

>> subscribe OCD-L your name.

>> The archives for the OCD and

>> Parenting List may be accessed

>> by going to the member center.

>> Enter your username and password,

>> then click on " list name " , then

>> click on " view archives " , and

>> then click on " archives index " .

>> You may then view archives by

>> date of entry.

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Kathy - Thanks for you encouraging letter. I hope you found your efforts to

get Steve to CBT were worth while. I called around today and found several

behavioral therapists that specialize in child and adolescent OCD in the

Madison area. Joe has an appt. for next week. I am feeling better already.

To be continued

Welcome to onelist

>>

>>

>>>Hello,

>>>

>>>Welcome to the list.

>>>

>>>Our list exists to provide support and information for parents of

children

>>with OCD

>>>or one of it's related spectrum disorders.

>>>

>>>Please introduce yourself and tell us about your family as soon as

>>>you feel comfortable. Our list needs your participation.

>>>

>>>Take care.

>>>

>>>Louis

>>>louisharkins_4@...

>>>ICQ: 38330756

>>>Fax: 1-408-293-2266 Ext. 30071

>>>/subscribe/ and

>>>/subscribe/ocdandhomeschooling

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Give back to your community through " Grow to Give. "

>

>Deadline is June 19. See homepage for details.

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing

>listserv@... .

>In the body of your message write:

>subscribe OCD-L your name.

>The archives for the OCD and

>Parenting List may be accessed

>by going to the member center.

>Enter your username and password,

>then click on " list name " , then

>click on " view archives " , and

>then click on " archives index " .

>You may then view archives by

>date of entry.

>

[Guest guest]

- Thanks for the encouraging news. How did your daughter take to the

CBT. Was it very difficult? I just found someone that specializes in CBT

in children with OCD to work with Joe. They are 4 hrs. away but it will be

well worth it if we have the kind of success you have experienced.

Re: Welcome to onelist

>From: Roman <ChrisRoman@...>

>

>Hi ,

>

>Welcome to the list. I hope Kathy's suggestions for finding a CBT therapist

>work for you as I really feel this is the key to getting better! I have a

>7-year old daughter Kelsey who was diagnosed with severe OCD at the end of

>March. She was not eating or wearing clothes then. We have done 8 weeks of

>CBT since then (no medications) and she is about 75% better already.

>Good luck!

>

>in San Diego

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Give back to your community through " Grow to Give. "

>

>Deadline is June 19. See homepage for details.

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing

>listserv@... .

>In the body of your message write:

>subscribe OCD-L your name.

>The archives for the OCD and

>Parenting List may be accessed

>by going to the member center.

>Enter your username and password,

>then click on " list name " , then

>click on " view archives " , and

>then click on " archives index " .

>You may then view archives by

>date of entry.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Kelsey has been able to succeed with the CBT because we broke down each

exposure into the tiniest steps, which built her confidence. (She gets to

be in charge of what she can do, and when she seems fearful I tell her I'd

never make her do anything she's not ready to do and what she's worried

about might be too hard to try right now.) For example, right now we are

working on her most feared new place-Legoland. She had to stay home from a

school field trip the day they went there, even though it just opened and

she's dying to go there!

She so fears Legoland that we can't even drive by it. So for now, we are

simply looking at pictures nightly. After she does this for seven days, we

will look at the pictures and touch them briefly, eventually driving by a

bunch of times, stepping foot inside, and hopefully getting to go play

there by the end of June maybe. It requires a lot of patience on my part,

but I've seen it really work. A lot of times for her, she has more

anticipatory anxiety than anything else so what will probably happen is

that we won't need to do each of these things for 7 days, at some point

she'll just decide it's not poison anymore.

Before we started CBT, she doubted that it would work. But by going slow

and watching herself succeed she saw that it did. She used to be very

secretive and we were clashing a lot before I knew how to handle the OCD.

Once we could name it together as separate from both of us, that really

shifted things. Another big shift happenned when we sat down together and

put together a hierarchy of all the things that were pioson and rated them

on a fear thermometer. It was the first time we were able to have a

constructive discussion about her OCD when neither of us were frustrated

and angry, where I was just listening and trying to understand. A great

communication tool.

Things are going so well with the OCD now, that we're starting to shift

focus in therapy to work on behavioral tools for social phobia. Her

therapist feels that she can make rapid progress on this too because of the

confidence she's gained from working on her OCD. I NEVER would have

believed that OCD would be fading into the background a few short months

ago!

Hopefully, the four hour drive will be worth it for you. Remember though,

it seems to go excruciatingly slowly in the beginning. It took at least 5

weeks for me to be sure we were making progress because there were so many

relapses. K's therapist describes progress as a " J curve " , you go very

slowly and then eventually take off!

Take care,

in S.D.

[Guest guest]

Hi :

It is great to hear you have a CBT appointment next week for Joe. That is

very quick work. Yes, on the third try (each one lasting about 6 months or

more) Steve really took off with his CBT.

THis morning he did some major league bossing since we went for a run with

our running club; then we went to the beach near the race start. The beach

is an " 11 out of 10 " on his OCD hierarchy and he tried to stop us going, he

was pretty irritable and we asked him to boss back and gave him

encouragement. He had to go off and have a bit of an OCD attack on his own

for a while, but later he hugged us, even before we showered. At home he

did some more hugging and told us the beach and ocean were beautiful and

not something he needs to worry about.

We were there with a friend of our other son's and he could tell something

was up. He knows there is something up with Steve, but he didn't seem to

notice anything really way out there. For us this was a very successful

morning, before we knew about OCD, this would have seemed a very stressful,

difficult experience. Take care, aloha, Kathy (Ha)

kathyh@...

>From: " Ron and Simurdiak " <bird@...>

>

>Kathy - Thanks for you encouraging letter. I hope you found your efforts to

>get Steve to CBT were worth while. I called around today and found several

>behavioral therapists that specialize in child and adolescent OCD in the

>Madison area. Joe has an appt. for next week. I am feeling better already.

>To be continued