Reaching out maybe?

[Guest guest]

Ah, today is not a good day. Im sinking. Its funny i

always seem to know when i should get help, you know

go to the shrink and such. And i know NOW is the time

for me to be doing all that, i guess its just what im

used to. But i've reached this plateau so to speak.

When im thinking, why? Why bother? Its hopeless and

worthless, kinda like ive become. Its weird to feel

this way. Its strange that one of the only things

keeping me alive is religion..... strange, cause i

dont go to church or belive like other people belive.

But still this nagging thought hangs in the back of my

mind, that people who commit suicide dont get to go to

heaven. And even though i dont love myself, i truly

love my husband more than words can say. Id rather be

miserable and be with him. Than be alone and dead and

free. Free. Will i ever be free?

So excuse the confused ranting, i dont have anybody

else to talk to. Nobody really to listen. I hate

talking to my hubby about this, its bad enough that we

dont really have sex.. I dont keep the house really

clean, or make money or do anything special. IM afraid

that one day he'll wake up and say, Why am i here when

i can do so much better? And then he will leave. And i

will be alone. Is it anyway to live? Waiting for the

one person you love with all your heart to leave or be

taken away from you?

ne way. maybe ill never stop crying. ?

Melinda

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

((((( HUGE HUGS )))))

Melinda, PLEASE call someone or see a minister or priest or call a hotline !!! You need someone to talk to now !!! Please do that for yourself, or for your husband or for the one you love!!! I sent on some sites, Please take the time to read them...

PLEASE MY FRIEND CALL FOR SOMEONE TO TALK TO...........YOU ARE VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((ANGELHUGS)))))

HELEN

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