Guest guest Posted October 1, 2007 Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Thanks Annette Simard On Monday, October 1, 2007, at 11:26 AM, J. Holzapfel, DC wrote: > > > Just a bit of Monday morning chuckles to help get the week started > right... > > > DOCTORS' EXAMS > > 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, " My wife's going to have her > baby in the cab! " I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted > the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I > noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one. > > Submitted by Dr. Mark Mac, San , TX. > > 2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly > and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. " Big > breaths, " I instructed. " Yes, they used to be, " replied the patient. > > Submitted by Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA. > > 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that > her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than > five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family > that he had died of a " massive internal fart " . > > Submitted by Dr. Steinberg > > 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his > cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble > with one of his medications. " Which one? " I asked. " The patch, the > nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm running > out of places to put it! " I had him quickly undress, and discovered > what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on > his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch > before applying a new one. > > Submitted by Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA. > > 5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, " How > long have you been bedridden? " After a look of complete confusion, > she answered... " Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was > alive. " > > Submitted by Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR. > > 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, " So, how's your breakfast this > morning? " " It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't > seem to get used to the taste, " the patient replied. I then asked to > see the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled " KY > Jelly. " > > Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI. > > 7. A nurse was on duy in the emergency room when a young woman with > purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of > tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly > determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was > scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on > the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been > dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, " Keep of the > grass. " Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short > note on the patient's dressing, which said, " Sorry, had to mow the > lawn. " > > Submitted by RN, no name > > AND FINALLY!!!..... > > 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I as quite embarassed > when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarassment, I had > unconciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady > upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and > further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly > said, " I'm sorry. Was I tickling you? " She replied, " No doctor, but > the song you were whistling was, " I wish I was an Meyer Wiener. " > > Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!) > > J. Holzapfel, DC > Albany, Oregon > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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