Guest guest Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 A big thank you to everyone for your prayers, words of encouragement, advice, and phone calls! It is so wonderful to have this great support network! So I met with the legal assistant before our hearing on Friday to try to come to an agreement and my attorney said he thought we almost had an agreement when we were walking to the courthouse. Due to my concerns for the recommendations for visitation that the amicus attorney had recommended and my husband's work schedule, my attorney suggested 3 hour visits one day a week on his day off. I thought he would fight this even though he has not exercised much visitation but always said he would fight me for the kids and has made similar comments to his attorney but has only told me recently he just does not agree because we cannot agree on anything. We also proposed some property and debt agreements along with the state mandated amount on child support plus 25% of his overtime/bonuses. He did not fight on anything except for the 25% of overtime and bonuses. His attorney came to talk to me to let me know the reason he worked all of the overtime was so he could pay off credit cards with balances accrued during our marriage. I stood my ground, looked him in the eye, and told him that those balances were accrued during our marriage but I was unaware that he even had run them up so high and of course his attorney tries to explain to me that Texas is a community property state so all debts are equally shared, yada, yada. I said, yes, I understand that, but he has had 3 years to pay that off and has not done so because he continues to charge items without my permission (it is his personal credit card) and is now allowing his girlfriend to run up his credit card in excess of his monthly income and I am not okay with the money that should go for the care of our children being used to pay off his irresponsibility. The attorney just looked at me wide-eyed and turned around and walked off. My attorney got on to me and told me he had a proposal but I could not keep my mouth shut to listen and give him an opportunity to make his proposal and maybe I needed to go to court to get it off my chest although he did not think it would make a difference. I told him that was unnecessary and I apologized but said if the attorney had a proposal, then he should have mentioned it up front. My attorney had almost talked me out of the 25%. I was trying to determine if I should just make my car payment instead of my husband (I am paying all of the other bills as I have been for our entire marriage)and take the 25% but then I was concerned he would not work the overtime just to spite me when my husband's attorney came back and they met and said he agreed! I can only attribute that as a miracle of God! Thank you again for the prayers! I don't think the judge would have been very sympathetic to my husband's situation and his attorney probably told him as much. We can agree now or drag this out and waste time in court and maybe even pay out more since you will probably tick off the judge. Anyway, I saw my husband through a crack in the door and it made me cry because he looked so despondent like he lost his best friend so I was hoping he had realized what he has done. Unfortunately, I still don't think he has...his girlfriend's apartment is a few blocks away from our house and on my way home from a picnic and friend's house on Friday night, there he was walking to get in her car. We also have no overnight guests of the opposite sex for both of us and no visitation in presence of the girlfriend. Of course these are only temporary orders until we have the final hearing so please continue to pray. I would like my husband to have a relationship with his girls but I want him to WANT to make them a priority not something to make him feel more like a man and I want him to discontinue this relationship and make better choices in his friends. Karyn Mom to Adena, 6, DS and , 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 Victories of any sort should be celebrated! I'm glad that financially things turned out in your favor (and the girls) and I hope that some day he will see what he's missing by not ditching the girlfriend over spending time with his precious daughters, but you go girl! You've got to fight for yourself and your babies, I hate those attornies who say " do it my way, I know best. " Both my little brother, and my SIL (hubby's sis) were completely screwed over by listening to their own attornies, so I'm glad you said what you needed to say and it worked out! Hoping and praying things continue to work themselves out! , mom to (15) (13 DS) and Sammy (11) On 6/5/2011 2:44 PM, Karyn wrote: > > A big thank you to everyone for your prayers, words of encouragement, > advice, and phone calls! It is so wonderful to have this great support > network! > > So I met with the legal assistant before our hearing on Friday to try > to come to an agreement and my attorney said he thought we almost had > an agreement when we were walking to the courthouse. Due to my > concerns for the recommendations for visitation that the amicus > attorney had recommended and my husband's work schedule, my attorney > suggested 3 hour visits one day a week on his day off. I thought he > would fight this even though he has not exercised much visitation but > always said he would fight me for the kids and has made similar > comments to his attorney but has only told me recently he just does > not agree because we cannot agree on anything. We also proposed some > property and debt agreements along with the state mandated amount on > child support plus 25% of his overtime/bonuses. He did not fight on > anything except for the 25% of overtime and bonuses. His attorney came > to talk to me to let me know the reason he worked all of the overtime > was so he could pay off credit cards with balances accrued during our > marriage. I stood my ground, looked him in the eye, and told him that > those balances were accrued during our marriage but I was unaware that > he even had run them up so high and of course his attorney tries to > explain to me that Texas is a community property state so all debts > are equally shared, yada, yada. I said, yes, I understand that, but he > has had 3 years to pay that off and has not done so because he > continues to charge items without my permission (it is his personal > credit card) and is now allowing his girlfriend to run up his credit > card in excess of his monthly income and I am not okay with the money > that should go for the care of our children being used to pay off his > irresponsibility. The attorney just looked at me wide-eyed and turned > around and walked off. My attorney got on to me and told me he had a > proposal but I could not keep my mouth shut to listen and give him an > opportunity to make his proposal and maybe I needed to go to court to > get it off my chest although he did not think it would make a > difference. I told him that was unnecessary and I apologized but said > if the attorney had a proposal, then he should have mentioned it up > front. My attorney had almost talked me out of the 25%. I was trying > to determine if I should just make my car payment instead of my > husband (I am paying all of the other bills as I have been for our > entire marriage)and take the 25% but then I was concerned he would not > work the overtime just to spite me when my husband's attorney came > back and they met and said he agreed! I can only attribute that as a > miracle of God! Thank you again for the prayers! I don't think the > judge would have been very sympathetic to my husband's situation and > his attorney probably told him as much. We can agree now or drag this > out and waste time in court and maybe even pay out more since you will > probably tick off the judge. Anyway, I saw my husband through a crack > in the door and it made me cry because he looked so despondent like he > lost his best friend so I was hoping he had realized what he has done. > Unfortunately, I still don't think he has...his girlfriend's apartment > is a few blocks away from our house and on my way home from a picnic > and friend's house on Friday night, there he was walking to get in her > car. We also have no overnight guests of the opposite sex for both of > us and no visitation in presence of the girlfriend. Of course these > are only temporary orders until we have the final hearing so please > continue to pray. I would like my husband to have a relationship with > his girls but I want him to WANT to make them a priority not something > to make him feel more like a man and I want him to discontinue this > relationship and make better choices in his friends. > > Karyn > Mom to Adena, 6, DS and , 2 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2011 Report Share Posted June 5, 2011 You did a GREAT JOB!!! Good for you!!! When I first divorced my boys father, I did everything...called him and put the boys on the phone, sent birthday cards, Father's day cards, etc. He did nothing and after about a year of me doing everything I realized that if he wanted a relationship with his son's then he would have to work for it...he never did and they are better off for it. So just remember, you are not responsible for the relationship between your ex husband and your children...HE IS! I am so proud of you!!!  Graham Kay Independent Sr. Beauty Consultant 832-816-7992 www.marykay.com/jendmoyers ________________________________ From: Karyn <thebombtexas@...> Sent: Sun, June 5, 2011 4:44:21 PM Subject: Update Again!  A big thank you to everyone for your prayers, words of encouragement, advice, and phone calls! It is so wonderful to have this great support network! So I met with the legal assistant before our hearing on Friday to try to come to an agreement and my attorney said he thought we almost had an agreement when we were walking to the courthouse. Due to my concerns for the recommendations for visitation that the amicus attorney had recommended and my husband's work schedule, my attorney suggested 3 hour visits one day a week on his day off. I thought he would fight this even though he has not exercised much visitation but always said he would fight me for the kids and has made similar comments to his attorney but has only told me recently he just does not agree because we cannot agree on anything. We also proposed some property and debt agreements along with the state mandated amount on child support plus 25% of his overtime/bonuses. He did not fight on anything except for the 25% of overtime and bonuses. His attorney came to talk to me to let me know the reason he worked all of the overtime was so he could pay off credit cards with balances accrued during our marriage. I stood my ground, looked him in the eye, and told him that those balances were accrued during our marriage but I was unaware that he even had run them up so high and of course his attorney tries to explain to me that Texas is a community property state so all debts are equally shared, yada, yada. I said, yes, I understand that, but he has had 3 years to pay that off and has not done so because he continues to charge items without my permission (it is his personal credit card) and is now allowing his girlfriend to run up his credit card in excess of his monthly income and I am not okay with the money that should go for the care of our children being used to pay off his irresponsibility. The attorney just looked at me wide-eyed and turned around and walked off. My attorney got on to me and told me he had a proposal but I could not keep my mouth shut to listen and give him an opportunity to make his proposal and maybe I needed to go to court to get it off my chest although he did not think it would make a difference. I told him that was unnecessary and I apologized but said if the attorney had a proposal, then he should have mentioned it up front. My attorney had almost talked me out of the 25%. I was trying to determine if I should just make my car payment instead of my husband (I am paying all of the other bills as I have been for our entire marriage)and take the 25% but then I was concerned he would not work the overtime just to spite me when my husband's attorney came back and they met and said he agreed! I can only attribute that as a miracle of God! Thank you again for the prayers! I don't think the judge would have been very sympathetic to my husband's situation and his attorney probably told him as much. We can agree now or drag this out and waste time in court and maybe even pay out more since you will probably tick off the judge. Anyway, I saw my husband through a crack in the door and it made me cry because he looked so despondent like he lost his best friend so I was hoping he had realized what he has done. Unfortunately, I still don't think he has...his girlfriend's apartment is a few blocks away from our house and on my way home from a picnic and friend's house on Friday night, there he was walking to get in her car. We also have no overnight guests of the opposite sex for both of us and no visitation in presence of the girlfriend. Of course these are only temporary orders until we have the final hearing so please continue to pray. I would like my husband to have a relationship with his girls but I want him to WANT to make them a priority not something to make him feel more like a man and I want him to discontinue this relationship and make better choices in his friends. Karyn Mom to Adena, 6, DS and , 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.