Re: Punishment/reward ideas-Behavior-Kayla's story

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

It's really tough to figure out what's going on at school and to gauge the

amount of sitting, listening and being quiet your child can handle or that

you feel is appropriate.

Here's Kayla's story:

Kayla my daughter, 19 with DS, was included in 2nd thru 7th grade and

things went really well. Her teachers were upbeat and she was pulled out for

reading, math, speech and P.E. This made for a pretty varried/interesting day.

She was learning, reading and was growing in all areas. When she went

into 8th grade, things changed. Class was a lot of sitting and listening (they

wouldn't adapt the work, they let her aide go, they said they would hire

another soon) so she was really bored. She started acting out, would just

shut down and regressed in all areas. It was a mess. We wasted two more years

trying to work with that school,(I brought in materials, asked then to

implement the reading program from Elementary School, etc....) finally ended

up moving to a different school then a year later, her Senior Year, to

another District and County. Last year her new District placed her in a

self-contained class and Kayla stopped looking anyone in the eye, regressed

academically and regressed in her speech. The District said she would get more

one-on-one tutoring and attention in that class. Not true. It was a terrible

decision. We are just now getting Kayla back. We hired an advocate, fought

the District to create our own Transition Program that includes reading

tutoring, group speech, going to private speech and a one-on-one aide that

attends three Community College classes with her. She is talking more,

interactive and energetic. For her it was the program that caused her behavior.

(Looking back I realize we should have asked for a Behaviorist andfough for

another one-on-one aide.) We have now been working with a Behaviorist from

Regional Center for a few months and it's so helpful. He has taught me how

to teach Kayla rewards and consequences and made life so much more

manageable and fun. Am sure part of the reason it's working is her age and

maturity

level. She is at an eight to ten year old level in her understanding so

grasps concepts better now. When she was younger, I really think she was not

able to communicate her feelings or to communicate to me what was happening

at school. She needed an aide to help her understand what was going on and

to communicate homework, what was going on in class and at school to us so

that we could spend extra time working on projects and studying at home.

Looking back, I realize she needed so much more support than what was given.

(We were trying to get it for her, but it took so long and Kayla was the

one who paid the price.)

I hope Kayla's story will inspire you to investigate and go with your gut

feelings about how your son is being treated and acting in school. Make sure

he has the supports he needs to be engaged in learning, that he is being

treated with respect (by staff and students) , that he is progressing, and

that his day is enjoyable. (Especially pay attention to how teachers treat

your son. Kayla was so miserable being around teachers that didn't want her

in their class. Her ceramics teacher was the worst. I went with her to that

ceramics class every day for three months, 11th Grade, and could not

convince that miserable teacher that Kayla deserved to be there so we finally

dropped the class. The teacher never said anything to us, it was just her

attitude. Because I was there I could make the call. Is was not worth the

grief.)

Hope you can find the combination that works for your son and that sharing

our experience helps in some small way.

Let me know how it's going. Will be praying for you.

Take care,

Kim

[Guest guest]

Hi Kim,

Thank you so much for sharing your story about Kayla - how heartbreaking to hear

how much she slid back when all of her supports were pulled away from her, and

then probably going to a new school, and lack of self-esteem, etc.

I am glad to hear that she is finally gaining some ground again!

My daughter is 9, and in 2nd grade. She is in the reg class most of the day, but

she still has the special ed classroom to go to to learn subjects like

TouchMath, her OT and Speech, and anything else she needs to work extra on - the

spec ed teacher in there knows her so well by now, and knows how to motivate her

- i often ask her for advice, and she is open to ideas, so I think for now

Olivia has it made, but things will change...hearing your story makes me aware

of that.

Continue to let us know how she does!

Patty

>

> Hi ,

> It's really tough to figure out what's going on at school and to gauge the

> amount of sitting, listening and being quiet your child can handle or that

> you feel is appropriate.

>

> Here's Kayla's story:

> Kayla my daughter, 19 with DS, was included in 2nd thru 7th grade and

> things went really well. Her teachers were upbeat and she was pulled out for

> reading, math, speech and P.E. This made for a pretty varried/interesting day.

> She was learning, reading and was growing in all areas. When she went

> into 8th grade, things changed. Class was a lot of sitting and listening

(they

> wouldn't adapt the work, they let her aide go, they said they would hire

> another soon) so she was really bored. She started acting out, would just

> shut down and regressed in all areas. It was a mess. We wasted two more years

> trying to work with that school,(I brought in materials, asked then to

> implement the reading program from Elementary School, etc....) finally ended

> up moving to a different school then a year later, her Senior Year, to

> another District and County. Last year her new District placed her in a

> self-contained class and Kayla stopped looking anyone in the eye, regressed

> academically and regressed in her speech. The District said she would get

more

> one-on-one tutoring and attention in that class. Not true. It was a terrible

> decision. We are just now getting Kayla back. We hired an advocate, fought

> the District to create our own Transition Program that includes reading

> tutoring, group speech, going to private speech and a one-on-one aide that

> attends three Community College classes with her. She is talking more,

> interactive and energetic. For her it was the program that caused her

behavior.

> (Looking back I realize we should have asked for a Behaviorist andfough for

> another one-on-one aide.) We have now been working with a Behaviorist from

> Regional Center for a few months and it's so helpful. He has taught me how

> to teach Kayla rewards and consequences and made life so much more

> manageable and fun. Am sure part of the reason it's working is her age and

maturity

> level. She is at an eight to ten year old level in her understanding so

> grasps concepts better now. When she was younger, I really think she was not

> able to communicate her feelings or to communicate to me what was happening

> at school. She needed an aide to help her understand what was going on and

> to communicate homework, what was going on in class and at school to us so

> that we could spend extra time working on projects and studying at home.

> Looking back, I realize she needed so much more support than what was given.

> (We were trying to get it for her, but it took so long and Kayla was the

> one who paid the price.)

>

> I hope Kayla's story will inspire you to investigate and go with your gut

> feelings about how your son is being treated and acting in school. Make sure

> he has the supports he needs to be engaged in learning, that he is being

> treated with respect (by staff and students) , that he is progressing, and

> that his day is enjoyable. (Especially pay attention to how teachers treat

> your son. Kayla was so miserable being around teachers that didn't want her

> in their class. Her ceramics teacher was the worst. I went with her to that

> ceramics class every day for three months, 11th Grade, and could not

> convince that miserable teacher that Kayla deserved to be there so we finally

> dropped the class. The teacher never said anything to us, it was just her

> attitude. Because I was there I could make the call. Is was not worth the

> grief.)

>

> Hope you can find the combination that works for your son and that sharing

> our experience helps in some small way.

> Let me know how it's going. Will be praying for you.

> Take care,

> Kim

>

>

>

>