Re: well...new, sad, question for help

[Guest guest]

Oh, Eleanor, I am so sorry. It is one of our worst nightmares as parents of sp

needs children.

Have you been documenting everything the aide says to you about not wanting to

be in that situation?

Have you been documenting what is being told to you or observed by others? CAN

you get any of them to put it down in writing for your records?

I would meet with the school officials on Monday and let them know how upset you

are and how you don't feel this is a safe setting for your daugther. Put in

comments about emotional duress..etc.

Please have some suggestions of how they can make things work with this aide. I

know ultimately it would be best to get her out of there but easier said than

done. Also, if they see that you are willing to help find a solution, they are

going to be more open to your input.

If they take you seriously... move forward.

If they don't.. perhaps it's time to keep her home until things are settles.

(They get paid a daily rate so if a sped student is absent every day.. it's

going to hurt them.

Go over your concerns and questions. If they are willing to work with you..

work with them. If they aren't willing to work with you, you will have to file

a complaint with the state regarding this aide and the school allowing her to

stay working with you daughter. You will want to copy all the documents and

send them with your state complaintsl

Good luck, email me privately if you have more questions.. and GOOD LUCK!

[Guest guest]

Eleanor,

I read your message and I feel for you.  Cannot give you any advice but will be

praying that your meeting with the assistant principal goes well and will help

solving this situation for .  I wouldn't sleep either thinking my daughter

is not well treated by a person who is most of the day with her.

Hugs,

Bonnie

>________________________________

>De: Green Eleanor I <eig6@...>

>Para:

>Enviado: Miércoles, 28 de septiembre, 2011 22:48:07

>Asunto: well...new, sad, question for help

>

>

> 

>Folks,

>

>My girl is 16. She attends high school. The aide she had was pulled for

monetary reasons...last hired, first fired...so a new (to us) aide was given the

responsibility of working with my girl to help her maintain her focus and

shepherd her safely through the halls to her classes. My girl has severe ADD and

is really impulsive. She tries hard, is very pleasant, is well liked by the

other kids, but has a lot of trouble staying on task, hence the need for the

aide.

>

>Here's the reason for my posting:

>

>1.The new aide did not want to be pulled from her self contained classroom to

be placed with . She made no bones about that. She never once pretended

(even to me - 's mom - helloooo!) that she wanted to work with her.

>

>2. I have had concerns for a variety of reasons about the new aide, but hoped

it would get better as she got to know and work with her. Apparently, I'm

too much the eternal optimist.

>

>3. I have been approached by parents of fellow students, students, and several

teachers telling me in various ways they are greatly concerned about the aide. I

have been told (I did not seek out any of this information) the aide is terribly

impatient with , has, at a minimum, made her cry in homeroom (for goodness'

sake!), doesn't allow her to visit in the hall (unlike the old aide) as she

heads to her next class, and is generally mean to her. Even in front of me as I

drop off at school, she has spoken to her harshly and with impatience.

Even over little stuff.

>

>4. Additionally, the aide is just really grumpy, hardly ever seems happy, looks

miserable, and teachers are saying, " Gee, we sure miss _____(previous aide). "

>

>My stomach is a ball of knots. I didn't sleep last night. And I'm on the verge

of sobbing every minute of the day today. It is a parent's third worst nightmare

(having a kid stolen is my first worst, death is 2nd). I have an appointment

for next Monday with the assistant principal who I like a lot. I would go

sooner, but I really want my husband there and he's away on travel.

>

>I know my list seems long, but I don't know that it's really concrete. I do not

have a child who can tell me about her day, and you can bet the aide did not

write a note on the daily comm log informing me she made my girl cry in front of

her entire homeroom, over nothing significant. I actually don't care if it was

significant - that should pretty much NEVER happen! You don't get to make a

child cry! I'm a teacher, and I NEVER do that to a kid, even one who is horribly

disrespectful and disobedient. We're supposed to be the adults.

>

>Anyway, please tell me what you think I should do, and/or how to go about this.

I want a new aide placed with my daughter. Someone compassionate, kind, patient,

etc. My girl is high energy and busy.

>

>All advice is welcome.

>

>Thank you in advance,

>

>Eleanor

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Eleanor,

I don't have much concrete advice either, but I am sure keeping you in my

thoughts. I can just imagine how you feel, as you say, with your stomach in a

ball of knots - whenever I have known my kids are facing hard situations at

school, it is exactly the same with me. 

I hope you can get a new aide - that sure doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

Patty

________________________________

From: Green Eleanor I <eig6@...>

Sent: Wednesday, September 28, 2011 4:48 PM

Subject: well...new, sad, question for help

 

Folks,

My girl is 16. She attends high school. The aide she had was pulled for monetary

reasons...last hired, first fired...so a new (to us) aide was given the

responsibility of working with my girl to help her maintain her focus and

shepherd her safely through the halls to her classes. My girl has severe ADD and

is really impulsive. She tries hard, is very pleasant, is well liked by the

other kids, but has a lot of trouble staying on task, hence the need for the

aide.

Here's the reason for my posting:

1.The new aide did not want to be pulled from her self contained classroom to be

placed with . She made no bones about that. She never once pretended (even

to me - 's mom - helloooo!) that she wanted to work with her.

2. I have had concerns for a variety of reasons about the new aide, but hoped it

would get better as she got to know and work with her. Apparently, I'm too

much the eternal optimist.

3. I have been approached by parents of fellow students, students, and several

teachers telling me in various ways they are greatly concerned about the aide. I

have been told (I did not seek out any of this information) the aide is terribly

impatient with , has, at a minimum, made her cry in homeroom (for goodness'

sake!), doesn't allow her to visit in the hall (unlike the old aide) as she

heads to her next class, and is generally mean to her. Even in front of me as I

drop off at school, she has spoken to her harshly and with impatience.

Even over little stuff.

4. Additionally, the aide is just really grumpy, hardly ever seems happy, looks

miserable, and teachers are saying, " Gee, we sure miss _____(previous aide). "

My stomach is a ball of knots. I didn't sleep last night. And I'm on the verge

of sobbing every minute of the day today. It is a parent's third worst nightmare

(having a kid stolen is my first worst, death is 2nd). I have an appointment

for next Monday with the assistant principal who I like a lot. I would go

sooner, but I really want my husband there and he's away on travel.

I know my list seems long, but I don't know that it's really concrete. I do not

have a child who can tell me about her day, and you can bet the aide did not

write a note on the daily comm log informing me she made my girl cry in front of

her entire homeroom, over nothing significant. I actually don't care if it was

significant - that should pretty much NEVER happen! You don't get to make a

child cry! I'm a teacher, and I NEVER do that to a kid, even one who is horribly

disrespectful and disobedient. We're supposed to be the adults.

Anyway, please tell me what you think I should do, and/or how to go about this.

I want a new aide placed with my daughter. Someone compassionate, kind, patient,

etc. My girl is high energy and busy.

All advice is welcome.

Thank you in advance,

Eleanor

[Guest guest]

My friend had an almost identical situation happen to her son with DS. It just

so happened that the guidance counseloor who worked at his school also workedfor

a wrap around service and was the family's mobile therapist. A staff member

approacher the GC and said she had witnessed the aide say to the boy, " If you

don't stop I'm gonna punch you in the face. " The staff member reported it to

the principal, who did nothing. When the GC found out, she reported it to the

parents.She almost lost her job but she didn't care.The parent contacted the

principal and director of SPED, they had meetings and the bottom line was, the

aides were unionized and my friend was told that they would re assign the aide

but there wereno other positions for her so their hands were tied. She told

them he son was not returning to school without a new aide. My friend contacted

the state police. At the end, the aide was called in and told, that they

stongly recommend she resign because when the police come into arrest her, they

would not back her.She resigned. Good luck, Call a meeting right now!!Di

>

> From: eig6@...

> Date: Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:48:07 -0400

> Subject: well...new, sad, question for help

>

> Folks,

>

> My girl is 16. She attends high school. The aide she had was pulled for

monetary reasons...last hired, first fired...so a new (to us) aide was given the

responsibility of working with my girl to help her maintain her focus and

shepherd her safely through the halls to her classes. My girl has severe ADD and

is really impulsive. She tries hard, is very pleasant, is well liked by the

other kids, but has a lot of trouble staying on task, hence the need for the

aide.

>

> Here's the reason for my posting:

>

> 1.The new aide did not want to be pulled from her self contained classroom to

be placed with . She made no bones about that. She never once pretended

(even to me - 's mom - helloooo!) that she wanted to work with her.

>

> 2. I have had concerns for a variety of reasons about the new aide, but hoped

it would get better as she got to know and work with her. Apparently, I'm

too much the eternal optimist.

>

> 3. I have been approached by parents of fellow students, students, and several

teachers telling me in various ways they are greatly concerned about the aide. I

have been told (I did not seek out any of this information) the aide is terribly

impatient with , has, at a minimum, made her cry in homeroom (for goodness'

sake!), doesn't allow her to visit in the hall (unlike the old aide) as she

heads to her next class, and is generally mean to her. Even in front of me as I

drop off at school, she has spoken to her harshly and with impatience.

Even over little stuff.

>

> 4. Additionally, the aide is just really grumpy, hardly ever seems happy,

looks miserable, and teachers are saying, " Gee, we sure miss _____(previous

aide). "

>

> My stomach is a ball of knots. I didn't sleep last night. And I'm on the verge

of sobbing every minute of the day today. It is a parent's third worst nightmare

(having a kid stolen is my first worst, death is 2nd). I have an appointment

for next Monday with the assistant principal who I like a lot. I would go

sooner, but I really want my husband there and he's away on travel.

>

> I know my list seems long, but I don't know that it's really concrete. I do

not have a child who can tell me about her day, and you can bet the aide did not

write a note on the daily comm log informing me she made my girl cry in front of

her entire homeroom, over nothing significant. I actually don't care if it was

significant - that should pretty much NEVER happen! You don't get to make a

child cry! I'm a teacher, and I NEVER do that to a kid, even one who is horribly

disrespectful and disobedient. We're supposed to be the adults.

>

> Anyway, please tell me what you think I should do, and/or how to go about

this. I want a new aide placed with my daughter. Someone compassionate, kind,

patient, etc. My girl is high energy and busy.

>

> All advice is welcome.

>

> Thank you in advance,

>

> Eleanor

>

>

[Guest guest]

Eleanor,

I had nearly the same situation happen to my daughter in High School with an

aide who didn't want to be with my daughter and was yelling and impatient with

my daughter. ( I had been getting reports that my daughter was having " behavior "

issues-- which she never had before and hasn't had since) I got a call from

another student who called and told me what was really going on. I had a

friend who worked for the district go and observe the aide in action (she knew

she was being watched) and was inappropriate even when being observed. I called

and talked to the principal and let her know what was happening, then called a

meeting with the team, we rearranged things so she wouldn't be with this woman,

and insisted that she never be with her again. We used students to be support--

during transition times, (which made her way more happy anyway). As someone

else said-- document everything. If you need to get and advocate.

At the very least it is unprofessional, at the worst it's abusive. If you

can't get the woman away from her, at least insist that she get training.

Sending a hug to you,