self-esteem

[Guest guest]

What do you do to enhance your self-esteem/self-worth?

Gretchen

[Guest guest]

HMMMM...

let's see to increase self esteem/ self-worth......

Well--- first I start with chocolate, macaroni and cheese, and pizza....

Then I follow it up with a swift kick in the butt.....

Next, I head to the YWCA and work out on a regular basis - to the best of my

ability, which is good sometimes and practically non existent other

times....

Followed by mediation and positive motivational audio tapes or gospel

music...

Then, I try to eat healthy and take all my meds....

Basically I try to take care of me.

How's that, Gretchen???

HUGS

Becca

/subscribe/CMTweightmanagement

[Guest guest]

Hello, here, somewhat new from SC. I am thoroughly enjoying the

information and discussions with this e-mail group. With regards to

enhancing my self-esteem, there are several things I thought about that

I did. First, is a spiritual relationship with God...if there is a God

who loves me unconditionally, then why would I not love and respect

myself. Second, I try to maintain a functional level of physical

fitness. It helps to know I am actively doing something to maintain my

level of independence and possibly prolong further disabilities with my

CMT. Third, getting involved in my children's school, church and

community allows me to see other needs greater than my own and I can

find a niche that balances out with my physical limitations. And last

but not least, I never knew of time when buying a new piece of clothing

didn't do wonders for my self-image!

Gretchen Glick wrote:

>

> From: Gretchen Glick <liliwigg@...>

>

> What do you do to enhance your self-esteem/self-worth?

>

> Gretchen

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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>

[Guest guest]

Becca, funny, just before I sent that post out about self-esteem, I had

just bought some chocolate ice cream!

Gretchen

Janie and Betsi wrote:

>

> From: " Janie and Betsi " <nene@...>

>

> HMMMM...

> let's see to increase self esteem/ self-worth......

> Well--- first I start with chocolate, macaroni and cheese, and pizza....

> Then I follow it up with a swift kick in the butt.....

> Next, I head to the YWCA and work out on a regular basis - to the best of my

> ability, which is good sometimes and practically non existent other

> times....

> Followed by mediation and positive motivational audio tapes or gospel

> music...

> Then, I try to eat healthy and take all my meds....

> Basically I try to take care of me.

> How's that, Gretchen???

> HUGS

> Becca

> /subscribe/CMTweightmanagement

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates

> as low as 0.0% Intro APR and no hidden fees.

> Apply NOW!

> 1/975/5/_/616793/_/952398973/

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>

[Guest guest]

EXCELLENT questions Gretchen. I'll be posting my answers very soon.

Barb

[Guest guest]

The two mAIN THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE REWARDING AND GIVE ME THE

MOST SELF esteem are 1. being a good mom, the hardest jjob ever but

the most rewarding, i feel. My kids are the first and most important

things in my life, they are my life. 2. Would be my job, i have to

say i love my job. I am a COTA/L which is a certified occupational

therapy assistance/ licensed.

I work with handicapped and learning disabled children in the public school

system and it is a wonderful, rewarding job that I have been doing for a good 14

years now. I work on a team with teachers, speech therapists, PTs, etc and we

make changes in childrens lives everyday.

My problem is i get too attached sometimes and need to let my job at work which

is hard to do in my field. I get my kids involved in volunteering and i think it

has bettered them as individuals also.

There is seldom a morning when i wake up and dont want to go to work, those are

usually paperwork days,lol.

I also feel good about myself when i stick with my diet and my exercise program

which i have been doing well with lately but i am a stress eater and i have to

really work on curbing that.

Self esteem is very important i would think to everyone,

sometimes its hard to find on a bad day but i would hope everyone

has some. I am just starting to deal with my CMT issues because they

are pretty much just presenting themselves at this time of my life

and it gets me VERY down but i try like hell to pull myself up by

the boot string and move on. Very very hard though some days.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Hello Gretchen,

This is an interesting inquiry.

Most definitely a healthy self esteem is an important aspect of a

healthy psyche and should not be coupled with egotism which is

narcissistic. An honest self evaluation and satisfaction of one's

accomplishments and mien should result in a honest degree of self

esteem.

Self control and thoughtful approach to life's experiences along with a

genuine interest in family, friends. and others prepares the way for

self esteem stemming from accomplishments.

The question is how to achieve the accomplishments. First, one must be

willing to explore one's talents by trial and error. I have always held

that one should work at what he is skilled at and should play with what

entertains him the most in terms of dedication and pursuit of

excellence. i.e., you could be a very good pharmacist to earn a living

and could aspire to be a very good violinist. The challange of working

to better the latter is to enjoy it the most. In both cases you

accomplishments in both fields add to self esteem.

Personnally, I have always aspired to bringing something original into

the world that would advance the utility of mankind in aeronautics.

This has been accomplished from the working area as evidenced by

earning three patents gained in the aerospace industry. My play area is

helping people to learn and understand technical areas primarily in

aeronautics. This I do by working with youngsters and supporting

clubs/organizations also expanding aeronautical knowledge.

EdM from NH

>

> Dear ers,

>

> I want to ask a few questions. Based on your life's experiences AND

> your journey with CMT (however long or short that is) where does your

> good sense of Self-Esteem come from? Is a healthy Self-Esteem

important

> to you? Why? What specific activities, actions, lifestyles, programs,

> etc. do you use or have you used to develop a healthy positive Self-

> Esteem?

>

> ~ Gretchen

>

[Guest guest]

users,

I would like to know the answer to that question myself, as I have little if any

self esteem mostly due to CMT. The fact that I am a single mother of 3 and at 43

years old, feel like the lonliest person in the world.

Sure I have my kids,grandkid,and friends, but I have been single for so many

years, and I am ashamed to even mention to any perspective partner that I have

CMT. Most men wonder right off the bat why I can't stand in one place without

loosing my balance & appearing drunk.

I am so embarassed by this disease, that I would never even consider going

swimming (have to be barefoot) boating, walking on the beach..etc. So if anyone

has any tips on how to get beyond the emabarrasment of having severely deformed

feet and being able to tell someone that ,I would love to know. I am so afraid

of someone just saying " yuck " and walking away,therefore further knocking down

my self esteem, that I would just assume try and keep it a secret from a man.

I know that sounds terrible and sad, but that is how bad I feel about having

this disease.

Donna

gfijig <fijiwigged@...> wrote:

Dear ers,

I want to ask a few questions. Based on your life's experiences AND

your journey with CMT (however long or short that is) where does your

good sense of Self-Esteem come from? Is a healthy Self-Esteem important

to you? Why? What specific activities, actions, lifestyles, programs,

etc. do you use or have you used to develop a healthy positive Self-

Esteem?

~ Gretchen

---------------------------------

How low will we go? Check out Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Guest guest]

Donna ,

I understand your feeling about CMT. I thought about how to tell my husband

before we got married and he was very supportive. I have found that most

people are, once you explain it to them. Please, do not be ashamed of having

CMT. It isn't something you brought on to yourself so why be ashamed. In

fact, compared to other diseases that I could have, I am glad I have CMT. Just

always remember that there is always someone out there that has life worse

and see what you can do to help that person be all they can be. I also have

the foot deformities but most people don't notice them. If you ever want to

talk, just email me.

jen

[Guest guest]

Gretchen:

Your questions are difficult to answer. I have a high level of

Self-Esteem and it helps me get through life. I always felt that the

only person that could/would stand up for me is me. Whenever I was

asked if I could do a job/project I always said yes. I found out early

on that all I needed to stay 15 minutes ahead of my

bosses/clients/colleagues/students and all went well. The staying

ahead part of the equation was the goal that made work interesting.

These self-imposed hurdles made me an independent thinker.

Did it always work? No, but it worked many more times than not. My

experiences taught me a basic life lesson that I passed on to as many

as would listen. Failure is not bad. All it shows is what was tried

didn't work, and some other solution needed to be tried. When one

really thinks about learning, it is the result of many ideas that

didn't work. Without the failures, the pride of success can't be measured.

Now, how has my Self-Esteem helped me in dealing with CMT? I don't

live within my disabilities, I live within my abilities. Some days I

have more abilities than others, and other days (like today) I am just

too tired from yesterday's bush hogging around my farm to do much.

Ah, but driving my tractor yesterday, I was King of the World, or at

least the 12 acres I cleared!

--Larry

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna,

I kind of know how you feel I have CMT plus I hurt my back at work allmost 10

years ago when I was married and once my wife found out I couldn't work anymore

she couldn't handel it and I didn't know I had CMT yet. After 9 months we

seperated and divorced, funny thing she was disabled when I married her.My feet

arent deformed but I do have high arches I can't see why a guy would let your

feet bother a relationship and you shouldn't be ashamed to tell people you have

CMT thats one of the first things I try to mention when I meet a women. I have a

problem with talking about work I allways try to avoid that topic I don't work

becaouse I'm disabled from my back and CMT, It seems women want a man who works

I'm 43 yrs old and find it hard to find a woman that wants to date a disabled

guy but I don't let it get me down. I just started to work out again and I'm

just consentrating on that right now and when the right women comes along fine

if not I don't care much, But you shouldn't be ashamed of haveing CMT and

you'll find someone who'll understand and won't mind your feet. Good luck and

chear up life is to short to be sad.

Tommy

[Guest guest]

I find that my self esteem comes from the ability to laugh at myself and make

others around me at least smile. I sing regularly at couple of music

theaters, i need help getting on and off the stage so i usually make a joke

about

needing the help...something like hey guys when i get up there you are in for a

treat at least i hope so... or i will say hey only the privilege get an escort

up to the stage... then i start by singing a funny song... those who play and

sing with me are aware of my CMT and they stay close by when i weave or

wobble there is always a steady hand ready.... i was made fun of most of my life

for stumbling and foot drop and falling down... i decided the others could laugh

at me or with me... it is a good choice for me... i have also found it very

easy to witness to others about my faith in God... when people see me wobble

when i walk or see me using my cane someone always will say bless your heart...

well that opens the door for me to tell them just how blessed i am.. life is

too short to dwell on the bad things in my life.... i have CMT, I also have

diabetes, chronic pancreatitis and my husband has a bone marrow disorder that

the doctors say will kill him in about a year... neither of us sits around

crying poor me... we live life to the fullest, keep our faith and still travel,

sing, attend church ant are busy seeing those friends who are worse off than

us... live life today for tomorrow may never come!!!! Cathleen in Arkansas

[Guest guest]

>

> Donna ,

>

> I understand your feeling about CMT. I thought about how to tell

my husband

> before we got married and he was very supportive. I have found

that most

> people are, once you explain it to them. Please, do not be

ashamed of having

> CMT. It isn't something you brought on to yourself so why be

ashamed. In

> fact, compared to other diseases that I could have, I am glad I

have CMT. Just

> always remember that there is always someone out there that has

life worse

> and see what you can do to help that person be all they can be.

I also have

> the foot deformities but most people don't notice them. If you

ever want to

> talk, just email me.

>

> jen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna,

I know EXACTLY how you feel especially about my feet and found out there

will be someone out there for you. I made a big mistake a couple years ago

with my relationship and backed off only to find out he couldn't be more

supportive. I always feel guilty about not being able to clean the house as

good as I used to (it wasn't very good anyway...lol)...and my knees being

ugly, my feet of course, and I let my sex life go to hell...my own fault.

I'm still very far away from getting to the point I want to be at. All my

life I've worked and all the sudden haven't since last November after I hurt

my back at work. All my co-workers were worried about is if they could get

my shifts. Never a phone call after 18 years at the same place. What I can

tell you is find the one, two, three people you know who are your true

friends and they'll stay with you. Especially, you have your children,

that's the most important thing of all. I'm sure you know that. My

daughter had just went away to college when I found out I had CMT. I'm 46

now, and when I found out I was living by myself, I had left my guy of 11

years to " go on my own " for awhile. Big mistake. I woke up one morning and

went to pick up a paper and my right hand was completely dead. It just

flopped around. I thought I had slept on it wrong and waited but it didn't

get better after a half an hour. Then I thought I might have had a stroke

so I drove myself to the ER and the Dr there said I had a nerve palsey (just

like his " girlfriend nurse " ) and it would go away in a couple of hours.

Well, 6 months later and doctor after doctor, I finally got to the

neurologist who was my saving grace. She knew right away what I had and

even waived the 2500.00 fee for the EMG (because I left her office crying

because I couldn't afford the test and she called my house a week later and

said we could work something out with the money....you rarely find people

like that anymore). Anyway, my hand came back...I am back with my honey,

and believe me things WILL get better for you. I don't want to scare my

daughter and she lives 10 hrs away, but I miss her so much and don't think

she knows what I'm going through or maybe she thinks I'm tough enough to get

through it. It's nice talking to everyone on this board because I'm also

scared to death sometimes. Today was a good day, but like I've heard others

say also...one day we do too much and pay for it the next few days.

Yesterday we had to put it a new AC wall unit and in the good old days, I

would have helped him whip it out. I did the floor cleaning afterwards but

still managed to cut myself in 3 places and didn't even know it until the

blood was pouring out. Oh well...Things could be so much worse for all of

us. One day at a time. My sister bought me a day to day calender who

Olsteen wrote. I don't know if you know of him but he is a preacher in

Texas. I read it to get myself in a good mood. I do believe in God, but

even if you don't, he says things that lift you up and make sense. It's

just good happy peppy reading. Take care of yourself. You'll be just fine

and so will I, right?? Damn straight.

Re: Self-Esteem

users,

I would like to know the answer to that question myself, as I have little if

any self esteem mostly due to CMT. The fact that I am a single mother of 3

and at 43 years old, feel like the lonliest person in the world.

Sure I have my kids,grandkid,and friends, but I have been single for so many

years, and I am ashamed to even mention to any perspective partner that I

have CMT. Most men wonder right off the bat why I can't stand in one place

without loosing my balance & appearing drunk.

I am so embarassed by this disease, that I would never even consider going

swimming (have to be barefoot) boating, walking on the beach..etc. So if

anyone has any tips on how to get beyond the emabarrasment of having

severely deformed feet and being able to tell someone that ,I would love to

know. I am so afraid of someone just saying " yuck " and walking

away,therefore further knocking down my self esteem, that I would just

assume try and keep it a secret from a man.

I know that sounds terrible and sad, but that is how bad I feel about having

this disease.

Donna

gfijig <fijiwigged@...> wrote:

Dear ers,

I want to ask a few questions. Based on your life's experiences AND

your journey with CMT (however long or short that is) where does your

good sense of Self-Esteem come from? Is a healthy Self-Esteem important

to you? Why? What specific activities, actions, lifestyles, programs,

etc. do you use or have you used to develop a healthy positive Self-

Esteem?

~ Gretchen

---------------------------------

How low will we go? Check out Messenger's low PC-to-Phone call

rates.

[Guest guest]

Gretchen,

I love working, being productive, and staying well-managed. The last becomes a

bit difficult at times, due to various reasons. But I have started taking life

day by day...and not remain trapped within insecurities or discomforting

thoughts. I feel the happiest when I work with my heart. CMT doesn't pose many

problems as far as self-esteem goes, but additonal health problems which are

unrelated to CMT frustrate me.

One more thing I have learned is that even if I don't see my CMT, people do.

And, I MUST ACCEPT THAT,for I live with these very people. My CMT is mine, and

it's impertive that I know what I want, what I should and what I shouldn't do.

Life is good, and very beautiful...provided we know the solutions and work

towards them.

My father recently said something beautiful - " Overcome your limited physical

capacities through your unlimited mental capacities. " Love ya for this, dad!

Thanks

Reema in India

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna ,

Not all men want pin up models for a serious relationship. You have so much more

to offer then just your feet. Not that we should want a man for happiness but

you may have a little depression and a chemical imbalance might be what is

causing your poor self image.

Way back before my depression medication:

I was worried about my sons and how they would be accepted by girls when they

were teenagers. If they would be ejected, viewed as weak , ever find a mate

etc.

Well as for the teenage years my older son seems to have the market cornered on

cute girls. CMT won't keep them away and he gets a few of them to give him foot

rubs.

My middle son has a lot of friends that are girls but not a serious girl friend

yet.

[Guest guest]

Hi in the Keys,

Years ago some one on a CMT list was having trouble with feeling

unattractive and wouldn't have sex. This very sweet woman wrote back and said

that she was very, very over weight had to use arm crutches just to move around

and had CMT but that she still felt attractive and wore attractive clothes at

work and at home. She kept their sex life very exciting.

I just loved what she wrote. It gave me a new way of thinking about feeling

attractive.

[Guest guest]

Hi Reema,

Very wise words of yours, and especially those of your Dad's. Made my

day to read your post

~ Gretchen

[Guest guest]

Hi Gretchen:

There was a time my self-esteem was at a all time low. By joining a 12 step

fellowship and getting an excellent sponsor, my self-esteem started to turn

around. I was asked to say " I am a loving, caring, worthwhile person " hundreds

of times a day for 30 days.

At the end of 30 days I felt a whole lot better about myself because I had worn

in some new grooves on my internal " record " .

I since learned that good self-esteem comes from really knowing yourself, your

qualities and your skills. Hence it comes from setting yourself realistic goals

that are indeed achievable, and knowing you can reach your goals. Stop trying to

be PERFECT!

We all have some form of self worth. It comes from within. We cannot rely solely

on the praises of others to measure our self-esteem. Therefore I know that

external sources alone will not sustain good self-esteem....it must come from

within.

A healthy self-estem is important to ensure we make the right choices in life.

Today I like myself. My skin is not too tight or loose. I can say " yes " and " no "

today when the occasions arise.

I keep telling myself every morning that " I am a loving, caring, worthwhile

person " , and then I live my life as such. Maybe simple, but it works for me.

[Guest guest]

, I like your response.

Reema

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much .

[Guest guest]

I was diagnosed 30 yrs ago, I wear AFOs on both legs and on the 15th August I

will be bringing home a new set, a AFO and a KAFO in other words a aliper

something I remember asking my mum about - " mum will I ever have to wear one of

those? " all those years ago she never expected I would.

I have just been away for the weekend in our new 'camper van' it is great for me

as if places I go to don't have the 'facilities' it doesnt matter as we have a

loo on board etc (ps I am english), believe me I hate what I have, but I am

slowly realising that if you let folks see what you have - life is actually

easier!!!!

We went out the other day and I used my wheelchair - something that I have kept

under cover (literally) and it was great - we went places I couldn't have gone

before because of steps/slopes etc.

When I say 'we' I met Pete 3 yrs ago and we met online, he says what he

initially liked was how I looked (????) then we got chatting and I immed. told

him I was 'knackered' after a few weeks we met and we have been together since.

Unfort. since we met (3 yrs ago on

21st Aug) I really have gone worse but Pete is still there, this may

contraindicate things but even tho I have gone worse I feel better mentally and

I believe that is what matters.

Self Esteem really does matter and it is no good anyone trying to give advise,

it needs to come from within, I am 75% of the way there with help from family

and friends etc, but the last 25% has to be

from within. I am not saying this from someone who has been thru a 'programme'

or 'therapy' but from someone who has had to fight alone, I wish I had the

support from others, but all I am saying is - it can be done, but life can still

throw stuff at you but you will be beter prepared for it. Remember - Life is

what it is, it isn't what we wanted, it isn't what we thought it would be, but

it is what it is.

Jill

[Guest guest]

Gretchen,

I would have to say that basically my self esteem is higher than it

had been for years due to leaving a bad relationship and being with

the man I am presently with. I tend to need a lot of outside

validation so he is good for me in that way.

Since I found out I have CMT, I was concerned about working. I did lose a job

(I believe - although I have no definitive proof) because of the " disability " I

wear AFOs on both legs. THAT has made me very cautious in looking for a job. I

know what my limitations are and I am very concerned about the job I can find

that will allow me to continue to work and not compromise my health.

However, I do question my abilities when the " visual disability " is seen. I am

fortunate at the job I presently hold that no one seems to even care that I wear

" plastic socks " BUT the wonder of what they may think and more importantly what

I wil tell them if they ask is always there. I say " this is part of who I am,

so accept me or not " but inside I really do have my doubts.

Basically though I have to say that my self esteem is pretty good, but mainly

because I have a great man in my life and he loves me for WHO I am not what I

am.

Velvida

[Guest guest]

,

I liked your post.

Smiles

Reema