Hope this makes you smile......

[Guest guest]

EVER WONDER where we are headed...

....why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

....why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

....why you don't ever see the headline " Psychic Wins Lottery " ?

....why " abbreviated " is such a long word?

....why doctors call what they do " practice " ?

....why you have to click on " Start " to stop Windows 98?

....why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing

liquid is made with real lemons?

....why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

....why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

.......why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

....why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for

the indestructible black box ?

....why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

....if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of

progress?

....why they call the airport " the terminal " if flying is so safe?

AND...

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because

of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer

goods.

On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's

the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): " Do not turn upside

down. " (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: " Do not drive a car or operate

machinery after taking this medication. " (We could do a lot to

reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those

5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: " Warning: May cause drowsiness. " (and...I'm

taking this because???....)

I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a

child's superman costume: " Wearing of this garment does not enable

you to fly. "