Re: Re: Free Day Question (out of control/back in control)

[Guest guest]

Dani, congratulations! I know what a huge breakthrough this is. One free day, no

guilt, no punishment, right back on track the next day. You should be VERY

proud! You couldn't have written this six months ago. Great job!

Re: Free Day Question (out of control/back

in control)

Those out of control free days sound so familiar. I really think

that some people (those of us who've struggled with an eating

disorder, esp. binge eating) simply can't take a free day. I know

it's impossible for me not to completely binge and feel sick and

disgusting the next morning. Plus, even worse, my free days in the

past have turned into free weekends or free weeks or free

months....It's incredibly difficult for me to get back on track

(physically and mentally) after I binge like that. I'm always MORE

hungry after a free day and LESS inclined to get back on track.

I've been doing really well lately having just a single PLANNED free

meal (usually on Sat. night in a controlled setting, like at a

restaurant with my boyfriend, never alone--that leads to bingeing).

This past weekend, however, things did not go according to plan. I

lost control on Friday, had two donuts that a coworker brought in at

10 am, then a bagel with cream cheese and a giant mocha for lunch.

Of course, once I start, I can't stop; it's a compulsion, an

addcition. So I had half a bag of chocolates in the afternoon, then

super size fries and two apple pies from Mc's (those pies are

so damn good!!) at 5 pm, then a big bowl of sugary cereal with milk

at 6 pm, then (yes, more food!!) a big serving of Chinese food

(noodles and friend rice) in the evening AND popcorn/candy at the

cinema. ARGHGHGHG! How gross is that?!?!?

Anyway, I was so sick by the time I went to bed, I kept waking up in

the middle of the night. And I woke up on Sat. with the worst " hang

over, " low blood sugar, nausea, the works. However (and this is the

good news!!), I got right back on track on Saturday and Sunday. I

didn't take a free weekend; I didn't restrict calories to make up for

the free day fiasco. I ate all 6 of my meals, did my workouts, tried

very hard not to feel guilty (didn't completely succeed, but at least

I tried). I'm totally back on track and feeling proud of myself.

After all, I gained 45 pounds last year precisely because I took free

weeks over and over; I had the hardest time regaining control after

even the smallest treat, so this is a huge deal.

I wish I could plan a free day, have three or four small treat,

things I really want, and then have no problem getting back on track

the next day. But I'm not there yet, and I'm not sure I'll ever be.

Dani

> I am glad this came up- yesterday was my " free day " . It was

> miserable. I did not do well. I did not feel well. I did not have

> fun. My terrible sugar monster was awolk and I completely lost

> control. Here is how my day went:

>

> 9am (problem 1- M1 is usually at 6:30!) 1 apricot filled archway

> cookie, 1 protien pancake, diet coke.

> 10am 2 apricot filled archway cookies, 1/4 of experimental

cornbread

> waffle dh was making, 1 bite of other experimental waffle (blech!),

> diet coke

> 10:30am Mexican breakfast burrito- scrambled eggs w/cheese, salsa,

> sour cream on tortilla, diet coke.

> 12:00pm- every sample available at the Costco & 1/2 frozen fat free

> yogurt, diet coke.

> 6pm- 2 apricot filled archway cookies, sugar cookie dough (baking

> cookies " for son " ha!), Garlic cheese bread, spaghetti w/meat sauce

> & pasta

> 8pm- 1/2 dozen sugar cookies

> 8:30pm- threw up (i know I know!!!!)

> 9:30pm 2 apricot filled archway cookies....have I mentioned these

> things are incredible and we only get them from Indiana once every

2

> years or so?!?!

>

> That was my day. My first sip of water was at midnight when I went

> to bed, otherwise I drank diet coke all day.

>

> I felt terrible, out of control, and slept like hell last night. I

> am so releived that my freeday is over. If I dont learn to handle

> freeday better over the next few weeks I may have to eliminate it

> altogether.

>

> Sincerely,

>

> http://www.picturetrail.com/llatour