Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 Fred, You probably already know it (and unfortunately it's much better done in person) but here goes: Instead of " , put your shoes away..., I told you to put your shoes away..., I'm not kidding! I want you to put your shoes away RIGHT NOW!!! " (leading up to level 2:) " All right , that's it! If you don't put your shoes away this minute I'm going to punish you!...I mean it!..., do you want to be punished, because if I do, you'll be REALLY REALLY SORRY! " etc. You do this: " put your shoes away in your closet now please. " If doesn't start within a few seconds, the parent simply says, " Three, two, one, zero. " No big emotional buildup. And no " 3, 2, 1, half, one-quarter, etc. " If significant action has not started by the time zero is reached, there is an immediate and un-emotional (on the parents' part) consequence. TV off, sit on the stairs and wait for 5 or 10 minutes (or whatever; we helped the group identify and prioritize potential interventions). At the end of that period. Return to the paragraph above. The corollary to this is to create some opportunities to provide positive reinforcement for compliance. e.g. " , go out to the kitchen and get some napkins so we can eat this popcorn with our movie. " When does so, you say, " Thanks, I like it when you do what I tell you. " and cement it with a physical touch, hug or whatever. Usually takes 1-4 runs with one parent, the other, both parents, etc. to convince that the game has changed, that there is no real reinforcement for NOT doing what he's told NOW and that there IS reinforcement for doing it as expected. We even had several parents who taught the technique to the kid's teachers in cases where the ODD behavior had spread. There were bitter recriminations in several cases by the kid who felt it wasn't fair that his parents were teaching his teachers the trick. But it almost always worked. Pete " Then we taught them a very simple limit-setting technique and got their commitment to use it together. A week later, when we met again for reports and updates, it was astonishing how many of the ODD kids were " cured " ! " Pete: Would you briefly describe this simple limit-setting technique, or refer us to a resource that details it? Thanks, Fred Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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