Re: food issues and messages sent to our daughters

January 30, 2003

,

I'm not a mother myself, but I am a daughter. I know certain things

that my mom did certainly didn't help me develop a healthy self-

image. She meant her best, and we're fairly close now, but when I

was an adolescent she would constantly chide me for eating too much.

I gained a lot of weight around the time I entered puberty, going

from a skinny kid to a curvy woman. My mom was always bugging me to

eat less. She called me fat all the time, telling me that if I

didn't lose weight, no one would like me. She also has her own diet

issues she was dealing with. She kept going on and off Slim Fast. I

would ask her why she was only drinking a shake for breakfast, and

she told me that eating real food would make you fat. This, coupled

with the teasing of kids in jr. high, set me on the road to over a

decade of eating disorders, including anorexia.

If I ever have daughters, I've vowed to be a positive role model, to

eat healthy and exercise, to teach them the value of nutrition (NOT

dieting) and strength. My goals have changed: I want to be lean and

strong and fit, not just boney and skinny. I think being a good

example and being open about these kinds of issues are the only

things you can do.

Dani

> Reading the talk about food addiction has been facinating for me.

I

> don't believe I am addicted, but I have had issues. I have an 8 yr

> old daughter and a 7 month old daughter. (also a 4 yo son) It is

my

> daughters I worry about. The other day I bought some skin fold

> calipers. I went in my room, shut the door and was measuring when

my

> 8 yo came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was

measuring

> how much my muscles have grown. I want to send positive messages.

> Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a food

> addiction.

>

January 30, 2003

<<Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a food

addiction.

>>

I DO, I can feel it, and I know it. My stomach can be perfectly content, but

once I encounter stress, strife, etc., I want to eat. This hi-energy buzz in me

puts me on edge till I can either resist or give in.

That's why I'm on the program~ so I consciously know my body is well-fed, and

the between- or after-meal desires are only psychological. My daughter is 13

months, and I don't want her to endure the same childhood I did (fat all the

way, anorexic mom).

in So Cal

brillosa@...

January 30, 2003

I think self esteem is something we have to instill in our girls through

example. Some ways I do this is to not talk about fat in a negative way. I

don't talk about being skinny, but always about being strong. I say fat in

moderation is healthy, movement is great and good for you foods keep our bodies

in motion for the things we love to do. I got rid of all magazines representing

a stick thin society and women being represented in a sexual manner. And the

BIG one......we have not watched tv for seven years....pre screened dvd and

video only and this goes for while they are others homes as well.

C

January 30, 2003

--- Thanks Dani,

That is exactly what I am trying to do. My husband is very fit and

active, and that is how I am trying to be. The kids see that I am

eating different, but

I stress that I am trying to get strong and have muscles. I encourage

her every day. She is a tall lean bean, but that could change. We

promote alot

of outside play time and sports, not pushed on them but for fun. We

try to show that being active is fun. They agree and could spend

every waking

moment outside. Mothers are such a HUGE influence on their daughters,

and I just hope I can always send positive and encouraging messages.

That would have been awful to hear that from your mom. She

probably thought it would help, maybe not realizing how detrimental it

was.

In , run_girl_la

<no_reply@y...> wrote:

> ,

>

> I'm not a mother myself, but I am a daughter. I know certain things

> that my mom did certainly didn't help me develop a healthy self-

> image. She meant her best, and we're fairly close now, but when I

> was an adolescent she would constantly chide me for eating too much.

> I gained a lot of weight around the time I entered puberty, going

> from a skinny kid to a curvy woman. My mom was always bugging me to

> eat less. She called me fat all the time, telling me that if I

> didn't lose weight, no one would like me. She also has her own diet

> issues she was dealing with. She kept going on and off Slim Fast.

I

> would ask her why she was only drinking a shake for breakfast, and

> she told me that eating real food would make you fat. This, coupled

> with the teasing of kids in jr. high, set me on the road to over a

> decade of eating disorders, including anorexia.

>

> If I ever have daughters, I've vowed to be a positive role model, to

> eat healthy and exercise, to teach them the value of nutrition (NOT

> dieting) and strength. My goals have changed: I want to be lean

and

> strong and fit, not just boney and skinny. I think being a good

> example and being open about these kinds of issues are the only

> things you can do.

>

> Dani

>

> > Reading the talk about food addiction has been facinating for me.

> I

> > don't believe I am addicted, but I have had issues. I have an 8

yr

> > old daughter and a 7 month old daughter. (also a 4 yo son) It is

> my

> > daughters I worry about. The other day I bought some skin fold

> > calipers. I went in my room, shut the door and was measuring when

> my

> > 8 yo came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was

> measuring

> > how much my muscles have grown. I want to send positive messages.

> > Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a food

> > addiction.

> >

January 30, 2003

My daughter is ten and is built just like I was at her age. (She gets

it from my hubby's side too...poor thing.) She's my weight (about

145) and almost as tall as me. Her dad worries about it, but we

NEVER say anything in front of her. I just tell her to keep moving

and eat healthy, and we try to set a good/healthy example. She has

grown about 4inches taller in the past few months and I have no doubt

she will thin out as she hits puberty. I (and all my female

relatives) did. We definately don't want to damage her self-esteem or

cause her to create any health problems (anorexia, etc).

> Reading the talk about food addiction has been facinating for me.

I

> don't believe I am addicted, but I have had issues. I have an 8 yr

> old daughter and a 7 month old daughter. (also a 4 yo son) It is

my

> daughters I worry about. The other day I bought some skin fold

> calipers. I went in my room, shut the door and was measuring when

my

> 8 yo came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was

measuring

> how much my muscles have grown. I want to send positive messages.

> Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a food

> addiction.

>

January 30, 2003

I also am not a mother but a daughter and one thing that my mother

always made her kids do was eat everything on our plate. If we

couldn't finish our dinner we couldnt' have dessert. She wasn't

trying to make us fat, just trying to get us to eat healthy by eating

our whole dinner. When we were kids, it didn't matter because we were

so active...but now is when the problem arises, when my metabolism

slows down and not only do I eat everything on my plate, I just eat

everything! Sometimes there is no control, so maybe just let your

kids eat until they are comfortable and not stuffing themselves just

so they can eat dessert like I did!!(b/c now I'm paying for it). This

is only my advice/opinion from my childhood. I'm not trying to tell

you how to raise your kids or anything...lol! Don't get me wrong, I

love my mother very much and I'm not blaming her for my eating

disorder but I'm just saying, it probably didn't help it and she

probably didn't even realize what she was doing would've affected me

in a negative way later on in life. But its my job to take care of my

problem and I'm going to, and I will fix it and I will get

healthy...especially with all the support from you guys!! =)

> > > Reading the talk about food addiction has been facinating for

me.

>

> > I

> > > don't believe I am addicted, but I have had issues. I have an

8

> yr

> > > old daughter and a 7 month old daughter. (also a 4 yo son) It

is

> > my

> > > daughters I worry about. The other day I bought some skin fold

> > > calipers. I went in my room, shut the door and was measuring

when

> > my

> > > 8 yo came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was

> > measuring

> > > how much my muscles have grown. I want to send positive

messages.

>

> > > Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a

food

> > > addiction.

> > >

January 30, 2003

Thank you guys so much for bringing up this subject. I deal with it

on a daily basis. I was the unhealthy teen skipping breakfast,

chips and diet coke for lunch, then PIG out at home. I see my

daughters friends doing this.

My 13 year old daughter works out at the YMCA with me. I have

recently introduced her to the teen weight training program there.

She loves it and how she feels. One day a few weeks ago she tried

to do as some of her friends and " starve " herself til dinner. I

purposely made a trip to the Y that day with her. She didn't have

enough energy to do her warm up on the stair master. She had to go

lay on the bench til time to go home. She told me on the way home

that she didn't like the way that felt, not to have energy to work

out. Needless to say, it hasn't happened again.

If you continue to be a good example I am sure that your child will

turn out fine. They are watching us, even we we don't realize it.

And I am convinced that our daughters know if we are happy with

ourselves or not.

> > Reading the talk about food addiction has been facinating for

me.

> I

> > don't believe I am addicted, but I have had issues. I have an 8

yr

> > old daughter and a 7 month old daughter. (also a 4 yo son) It

is

> my

> > daughters I worry about. The other day I bought some skin fold

> > calipers. I went in my room, shut the door and was measuring

when

> my

> > 8 yo came in and asked what I was doing. I told her I was

> measuring

> > how much my muscles have grown. I want to send positive

messages.

> > Any advice from those of you who struggle and feel you have a

food

> > addiction.

> >

January 30, 2003

I don't make dessert.....my kids get fruits, veggies, meat or protein subs.,

yogurts, whole grain carbs and the like.......we don't eat or drink anything

they can't, with the exception of occasional alcohol......example, example,

example........

C

January 31, 2003

OMG Are we related? LOL That was my mom! And you know that's why for so long,

you have that mentalitly, IF YOU EAT YOU " LL GET FAT! But yeah things certainly

carry over into adulthood. I had always been a chubby girl, then turned into a

fat teenager, and I remember one year my junior year, I went to the prom, and I

got pics taken and showed my mom and she told me that I looked pregnant! That

was when my dieting quest began. I did lose 35 pounds watching what I ate and

excerising, but then after HS I got married and had kids, and after 2 and being

230 lbs, I'm like yeah this sucks. Anyways.... LOL But she even would tell me

as an adult that I was fat, your butts too big, look at your stomach hanging

out. I love my mom to death, but you know she could use some lessons in

constrcutive critisism. I KNEW I was fat, I didn't need her telling me that.

Oh well, don't have to worry about that anymore.

~kimmah

Re: food issues and messages sent to our

daughters