How it all came down... not sure where this will lead

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone.

I wanted to update a bit. I am a bit frustrated with the

school district in general here and thought we had a

solution. I will try to summarize.

Alden just turned 7 (Dec 5/08). We used to be in land

where he was fully included with aids in the classroom. He

had a very good experience and did Kinder(2006-07) when we

felt that he should have been in PreK 4. He could not do

preK 4 due to his age. We were OK with that and while he

missed a lot of school, he did well and had success. The

next year in MD he repeated Kinder (2007-08). This, we

felt was his " real " chance at Kinder. He fit in well and

had lots of support. Kinder was where he " fit " , with

accommodations/modifications but still, fully included. In

Sept of 2008 we headed for TX (via Indiana to see

relatives). We are Military and had a move come up

quickly.

So he enrolled into the new school system and we had all 3

of our children go to the schools that were near the Army

Post. We did study the area, the schools, etc. but we knew

that we needed to live on Post so we had to enroll them

into the " home " school first, according to the district,

and then if it was necessary, transfer them to a different

location within (or outside of) the school district. This

was what we were told to do and this is how we began.

First: We had our meetings for Alden,

DS/AV-repair/pacemaker/eating problems. He is high

functioning, very verbal, with developmental delays

considered mild to moderate.

At the first school, we kept having to reschedule ARD's for

Alden because the ARD committee, esp. the Principal,

refused to accept our placement of Kinder, full inclusion,

with an aid. Eventually, I did send in a complaint and

mediation request to the TEA. That finally came back as

unsubstantiated. Go figure.

Neutral persons were sent in from the state and we did

finally prove that our child did NOT have to be put into

First Grade and we received the transfer to send him to

another school, still in the school system, but that had

aids in place in a Kinder-Collaborative. There would be

non-disabled peers in his classroom along with 2 aids to

assist/redirect the other students that happened to have

disabilities. Just before moving him to the other school,

Alden was injured by another student in the classroom.

There was no aid and the teacher was there but didn't

notice until too late. Another child put his finger into

the pencil sharpener and sharpened it. We went to the ER

and while it was traumatic, it finally healed after one set

back of an infection and antibiotics. I sent the report to

the TEA as an update because I had JUST sent in our

complaints. This was Alden's last week at the first school

that does not do " aids " in the classroom.

Then: His teacher at the new school was FANTASTIC. She

really knows her stuff and was a blessing. Even with the

TEA sending a letter that basically blew us off, at this

time I went into the Christmas break VERY much relieved. I

even had all of the paperwork finished to change schools

for my girls so that one was going to the same school as

Alden and the other was at the better Middle School (the

school which feeds from the better elementary).

Now that break is over, I am thrilled to say that my girls

are so much more happy at the new schools. Unfortunately,

Alden's teacher left. She is due to have a baby in April

and decided that she needed to leave at break instead of

waiting. Totally understandable. But now Alden has a sub

and he is frustrated.

I know this will probably work itself out. I need to give

the teachers, sub or permanent, time to get it together in

a new environment. But it is frustrating to have to

re-explain WHY my son can't write the sentences that are

expected. (which is another issue entirely, but one that

makes my blood boil... kinder's expected to write

sentences). Why he is not wanting to color or do some of

the things the other kids do? I am like, " Are you

kidding? " . I let them know that we are thrilled that Alden

is working on writing the letter " A " to his name but that

expecting him to write sentences is WAY beyond him and

probably most frustrating. This is supposed to be a class

in which other children with delays are included? Where is

the modification? Where are the accommodations? Good

grief!!! I am just sick to my stomach that he is being

frustrated and that the attitude of the teachers has been

dismay and disbelief... as if he just doesn't belong there.

I wonder where this school system sends the other children

in Kinder? I am going to have to ask that, I guess.

There is one public school in this district which seems to

be " set aside " for special needs children. It is

exclusion, with possible (and I emphasize possible),

pull-ins. This is the school that the first experience

with ARD's here wanted us to put him into. But it only

starts at First grade. They wanted us to put him into

First so that he could go to the exclusive setting and not

have to hire any aids. We refused. I am not opposed to

pull ins IF he is with other children his age. I do think

full inclusion is best for his at this time because he does

learn a lot by watching others. That is one of his MAIN

strengths and I would hate to see him, at least at this

level of education, in an exclusive classroom with no

non-disabled peers to model for him expected behavior, etc.

I can see when he is older that it might be more necessary

to have him do certain subjects in a more exclusive setting

but not necessarily and certainly not right now!

So: I do not know how this year will pan out. I am happy

with the new situation, over all. But it still seems to me

that " inclusion " is a very foreign concept here. I have no

idea where they send the other special needs students,

unless it is this other school. But when we went to look

into that school, the only children in there were 3 boys,

all WAY older than Alden. I just did not want that. Plus,

it only starts in First grade.

I sure hope that I am able to help my child in this system.

Since returning to school after the break with another new

teacher, I have been told that Alden doesn't seem to want

to do his work. They thought he was at Kinder level and

were expecting him to write sentences???? Also, that he

doesn't seem to want to color. I have noticed some

anxiousness and frustration in his behavior since returning

to school. I am concerned that he is not happy but he says

that he wants to go to school and is excited about getting

on the bus.

The next day (this Friday), when I picked him up the same

teachers said that he was doing a lot of self-stemming

behavior. Flapping his hands and rocking? He NEVER does

this stuff! I was just shocked. I cannot help but feel

that they expect to teach the class one way, and not modify

or accommodate. The only reason he would do these

behaviors is because he is not happy, is bored or

frustrated with the expectations, and is doing the best he

can in a no win situation.

How could even a substitute, along with one of the other

regular teachers, even ASK me why he wasn't writing? Do

they not read his IEP? Is there no consistency at all with

teachers being somewhat aware that this class is an

inclusion class with special needs, too?

To tell you the truth, I am tired. I have hated every ARD

that I have attended. I wish I could find a private school

but I just cannot afford it. I wonder if I should

homeschool him, but I would need to still find some support

groups and SERIOUS activities to keep him stimulated. I

have homeschooled before and to tell you the truth, I am so

very tired and wanted to find some time to get my own body

some help. I started getting some PT for my plantar

fasciitis and need some time to take care of myself for

once.

If you have read this far, congratulations for your high

level of perseverance! I have been interrupted for hours,

many times, and have had trouble trying to explain where I

am right now.

Emotionally, I am about spent. Since Wed. when the

children returned to school, I have been happy with the

girls attitudes but sinking further into depression

regarding Alden. I mean, Wed. they went back, Thursday I

has the faces of teachers looking at me with disappointment

and looking at each other as if they had a conspiracy going

to tell me that he didn't want to " do his work " at writing

sentences. Then Friday when I picked him up the same look

on their faces with the news of self-stemming. For Pete's

sake, I don't know how I didn't just go off on them but my

children were there, they were handing off other children

and I just quickly told them that he didn't do that at home

and I was shocked... and they turned to others and I took

my kids home.

I called the principal Thu and she returned my call Friday

and ARD's are being scheduled asap.

I wish I could get my thoughts in order but if they don't

think that they can teach my son then don't they have to

find somewhere for him to go????

I would never ask my husband to change his job. We are a

Military family and we have insurance and the ability for

me to stay at home to care for appointments, emergencies,

school functions, home teaching, etc. We want it this way.

But I sure do miss our last duty station. And I wasn't

sad to move before. I look at each move as a learning

experience and try to keep a positive attitude and give the

children a view of the different places we have been....

but RIGHT NOW... at this point in time... I am SO not

thrilled to be here. This will pass, I know. I will

figure it all out and hopefully, I am misreading the looks

on the teacher's faces. I seem to have had positive

meetings with the Prinicipal, so far, and she thinks Alden

is the Bomb! I just want him to be happy and to learn.

Well.... Thanks for listening. Sorry if this is too

negative. Kiersten

" ...affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath

affliction enough that is not matured, and ripened by it, and made fit for God

by that affliction. "

Donne, Meditation XVII