death explained

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to let everyone know that Caty did fine at the funeral home and also

at the gravesite. When we first got to the funeral home, she listened to us

explaining things again (I'd been trying to prepare her for a couple days) I

told her to say she's sorry to my cousins' wife and she did it. I really think

she understood we were all sad but usually when Caty's says she's sorry, she's

done something wrong, so that was different for her. She didn't linger at the

coffin and just went to be with the kids her age. She loved meeting people

coming in, shaking their hand and introducing them to us. She would sneak over

and be in the receiving line every chance she got. They didn't mind, but I tried

to make sure she wasn't a pest. But toward the end of the evening she asked if

was going home (He's our next door neighbor and she sees him alot) so I

knew she didn't REALLY understand. I mean he's going home but not the way she

meant. This morning before the service, she went up to the coffin again, this

time she touched his hand and we talked about how much we'd miss him, etc. And

she acted like she understood. She was quiet during the service (she sits

quietly at church also), I didn't expect that to be a problem. At the gravesite,

I explained again that that was his body that we were putting in the ground but

his spirit was in heaven. After the service was a meal and she considered that

his " birthday party " , his kids got a kick out of that. So I have to say this was

a learning experience (isn't everything?). I'm not sure she'll ever really

understand, but she accepted it. I'm sure at the first family meal, she'll ask

if he's going to be there. But we'll just deal with it as time goes on and it'll

be okay. I just wanted to thank everyone that wrote me on the list and off with

their experiences and help. I really appreciated it. and Caty