Re: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

[Guest guest]

Is there any way you can leave him at home when you go to the store with the

clear understanding that when he ceases this behavior, he can accompany you?

Could his teacher do something similar?

granny

On Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 3:17 PM, paula goddard <unoqueenpa@...> wrote:

> My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times. School hallways,

> supermarket, church etc... He throws himself down and he is too big to

> carry. Anyone out there ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We had this problem too.

Some of it at the beginning of attending school was that

he just wore out. Alden will walk and run but then his

legs just tire and he does not want to push himself.

Instead of making him hate school by pushing him into

walking long halls, last year we started the year with a

wagon that stayed in the classroom. When they had to walk

a longer distance... they used the wagon. We, and they,

just sort of worked week to week to make his walks longer

but did it systematically. By the second semester, he was

not using the wagon except to go out onto the playground.

After playing, he was VERY tired. In fact, he never lasted

the entire time in the heat or sun. We just worked it out

that when he played outside for 15 minutes or so, he went

back into the air conditioning and danced to a CD.

When Alden was just being stubborn, he had consequences

that encouraged him to get up and keep going. This was

hard for him... walking all the way to the Art room or to

the Music room. It was not ALL stubbornness. But by the

time he built up his stamina and knew the routine, he still

would show his stubbornness from time to time. He would

just be reminded that if he did not get up and get to " gym,

art, cafeteria, etc " that he would not get to " play with

play doh at centers, have his yogurt at lunch, etc. etc. " .

You have to find something that can motivate him for each

trek. It works fairly well with Alden. I realize that all

kids are different and what worked for us may not work for

. He is so young, it may be best to give him some

time to get used to walking and keeping up. That is what

wore Alden out. The class walked faster than he could and

he wore out. He does all walking now but he is 6 and in

his second year of Kindergarten. When he started K last

year, he really needed the wagon. He is so much bigger and

has more stamina at 6 than he did at 5 starting out school

full time. How big is ? Alden is 45 lbs and I

still have to pick him up and haul him to a location if he

refuses but he will lose SOMETHING if I have to do that.

LOL. Also, he needs more time to get from A to B, like

getting into the van and into his car seat. So if he is

being rushed then I tell him that we must go faster today

and I just pick him up and put him into the car. He hates

that but I just do not always have time to give him the

amount of time he needs. I try to though, so that if I

have to wait and wait while he climbs and sits... that is

OK. I try hard to plan so that he has time to be as

independent as possible.

What is your experience with at home or at the

grocery, getting into stores or walking through parking

lots? I would never go to a Mall without a stroller for

Alden. Or a wagon. Nor to the Zoo or anything with

walking for time or distance. Even now, it is hard to get

him to walk from the back of a parking lot safely and into

a cart at the grocery. I make him walk but I must have

time to work with him. If he does not behave and work at

" getting into the store by his own two feet and behaving

while we shop " , he does not get to ride the store toy at

the end of our shopping trip. When or if he begins to act

out, all I have to do is remind him that he must make good

choices in order to ride the " truck " or whatever motivation

I have at that particular place. Sometimes I have to plan

something for when we get back... like play doh at the

table while I carry in the groceries. If he does not

comply in a timely manner, he DOES lose those priviledges

and I tell him to try again next time, remind him of the

expected behavior, and quickly move on to the next task.

If he does cry and throw a fit about it, I just let him and

ignore it. He does not do that often because it does him

no good. Usually, unless he is really tired or ill, he

will work hard to get his reward. But I do have to keep

reminding him and I try to not expect him to go out

shopping all day and comply. He can only do so much.

Hope this helps. Our school has been very understanding.

Trying to force the issue will only be met with more

resistance. You need to work out a reasonable plan that

will help him do this task. And it IS a task.

Sorry, this is a bit disjunct.

Good luck. Kiersten

--- paula goddard <unoqueenpa@...> wrote:

> My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times.

> School hallways, supermarket, church etc... He throws

> himself down and he is too big to carry. Anyone out there

> ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Have you tried just walking off and leaving him? At the same time, telling

him there is no reason why he can’t walk with you because you know he can

and he is big enough to do the same as everyone else. I would even go as

far away as from out of sight – but somewhere where I can watch him.

Different age group but the other day Trent was behaving in a manner I don’t

approve in a café and ignoring me which made it worse – so I just got up and

said something like ‘I don’t have to put up with this’ and went and sat in

the car. It wasn’t long after he joined me, then I told him why I was cross

he got out of the car and put things right that had upset me, then joined me

in the car again.

Sometimes, parenting is just a plain old game of bluff.

Keep smiling

Jan, mother of Trent 24yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf

Of paula goddard

Sent: Wednesday, 10 September 2008 6:17 AM

Subject: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher.

Help

My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times. School hallways,

supermarket, church etc... He throws himself down and he is too big to

carry. Anyone out there ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

[Guest guest]

We have had this problem for as long as Hannah could walk...she is 8 now and 64

pounds. When she does the drop and flop and pops those shoulders in it is like

trying to hold onto a wet noodle. She also does this at the worst of times. At

school we broke her by letting her push a wooden toy shopping cart around and it

kept her from doing the drop and flop...by making transitions easier. As for

everywhere else...I spent the money and got a big 3 wheel stroller that holds up

to 100 pounds and it is GREAT! Solves the problem for us both. It is also good

when we will be walking a distance as she tires easily and gets short of breath.

At Wal-Mart I push her and pull the cart...it is easy to maneuver so it really

isn't the hassle it seems. Good luck. Maybe you can find a motivator to help

him through transitions like we did.

Tammy

Mom to Hannah ds 8, and Trystan 6

My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times. School hallways,

supermarket, church etc... He throws himself down and he is too big to carry.

Anyone out there ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

[Guest guest]

Oh yeah, Trent is in a WAY different age group. I could walk off and leave Mav,

and , but NO ABSOLUTELY NO WAY would I consider doing that with Logan. He

would just go off in his own direction and not have any idea what to do.

[Guest guest]

Hi

Sounds like the old " plop and drop " which many of us have experienced lol What

worked for us in school was to get Sara's mind off of what ever she was

rebelling against ............. redirect .......... make a game of it, the goal

was to get to class, lets walk backwards. Shopping, we got her involved, she

went to the shelves and put in the basket her choices. The mall, we would make

another game of only walking on certain color tiles (worked at our mall)

As she got older we went to a behavior chart, and still to this day all I have

to say is " do you want me to write this down? " it still carries weight lol

A behavior specialist told me once that most plop and drops come from wanting to

be in charge, control also from just plain old rebellion. I was instructed to

redirect redirect redirect and I learned to be very creative

Kathy mom to Sara 16 ................ still staying one step a head of her

From: paula goddard

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2008 3:17 PM

Subject: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times. School hallways,

supermarket, church etc... He throws himself down and he is too big to carry.

Anyone out there ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

[Guest guest]

Leis wrote:

> When we had this problem with BJ we would do the fireman hold- his

> belly on my shoulder- head over your backside, feet in your hand.

> used to get very embarrassed with this, and he soon stopped

> doing it for me. He started doing it for vaccation care, and they did

> it once, and he never did it again.Got a few weird looks carrying him

> like that when I was preggers with Tasha, but was better than

> dragging him around an ashphelt carpark hurting himself. He is too

> big to do that with now, but we can redirect him now- most times..........

>

> Aussie Leis- mum to , Natasha, and Liliana

>

> If you don't know where you are, a map won't help

>

>

>

> K M wrote:

>> Hi

>>

>> Sounds like the old " plop and drop " which many of us have experienced lol

What worked for us in school was to get Sara's mind off of what ever she was

rebelling against ............. redirect ..........

>>

>> My son refuses to walk at inappropriate times. School hallways,

supermarket, church etc... He throws himself down and he is too big to carry.

Anyone out there ever have this problem? Need advice. Thanks a

>>

>>

[Guest guest]

Think this was meant for the list, looks like it just came to me

Kathy mom to Sara 16

From: Heike Mothershed

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2008 8:47 PM

b4alltoday@...

Subject: Re: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

Hi,

reading through this i thought about sensory issues, since it looks like

crowded places are an issue.

My daughter has a vision impairment and at the time (young age) we weren't

aware how it affected her, crowded places overwhelmed her and made her vision

impairment worse.

While different strategies are helpful, understanding why this happens

will create positive strategies that will support your son.

Heike

[Guest guest]

Thanks,  it seems age is affecting me early.

 

Heike,  Mom to Natascha 22

From: K M <B4alltoday@...>

Subject: Re: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

heikelena@..., " Upsndowns " <Upsndowns >

Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 11:51 PM

Think this was meant for the list, looks like it just came to me

 

Kathy mom to Sara 16

From: Heike Mothershed

Sent: Tuesday, September 09, 2008 8:47 PM

b4alltoday@...

Subject: Re: My 5 yr old DS son refuses to walk for his teacher. Help

Hi,

reading through this i thought about sensory issues, since it looks like crowded

places are an issue. 

My daughter has a vision impairment and at the time (young age) we weren't aware

how it affected her,  crowded places overwhelmed her and made her vision

impairment worse. 

 

While different strategies are helpful,  understanding why this happens will

create positive strategies that will support your son.

 

Heike