Re: Fat people are poor and uneducated!!

[Guest guest]

--

There are people like that in every gym in America...people who have

absolutely nothing better to do than worry about everyone else around

them and gossip. You have every single right in the world to be at

that gym, drive that car, and live in the house where you live.

I have an uncle who is a journalist for USA Today who has lost about

150 pounds with a lap band (not gastric bypass, but a type of

permanent surgery) and tells me similar stories. His are about how he

was passed over for more than one job promotion and how people used

to talk about him on airplanes (more people than not would actually

ask to be moved right in front of him), during meetings when they

thought he was out of hearing, etc before he had the surgery. He

still has about 100 more pounds to go but has recently started going

to the gym. He has the best attitude about it. He really just goes

there to get the job done, even though he admitted to me that it was

one of the hardest places to go into.

Please, PLEASE don't let this discourage you. In my experience, for

every person like who you ran into tonight, there is at least one

other person in the gym who is encouraging, supportive, and could

care less about how much you weigh, what kind of car you drive, etc.

Trust me, no matter what you look like (you could weigh 120lbs and be

a size 4), those women would still find something just as mean and

hurtful to talk about.

I call these types of people " toxic. " I don't have time for them in

my life to bring me down and I sure as heck don't give them the

advantage. You can confront them and see if that gets you anywhere,

but in my experience, sometimes you've just got to write certain

things off and pick up and move on. There's always going to be

something standing in your way of getting to your goals, whether it's

people, time, money, ice cream, whatever. It's up to you to figure

out a way to get around those obstacles.

Keep your chin up!

Maggie

[Guest guest]

I agree. When I lost the weight I noticed a difference in how people

treated me. I hated going to the gym where everyone was so fit and

be the biggest woman there. But as I got older, I just I got the

attitude I really didn't care. Today when I see a women who is

overweight or obviously feeling like she is in a foreign environment

I make it a point to say hi and talk to them. I have been there and

know what it feels like - I have in the past dropped my efforts to

loose weight because someone made a rude comment that I was too fat

to excercise. Duh...don't they think I knew that! That's why I was

making the effort! People can be discouraging and strangers would

literally burst what little will power I had and I'd quit. I later

realized why the heck do I care what a stranger thinks. I was doing

this for ME, not them. I was the one who would benefit in the end.

Most likely those women haven't a clue what a great person they are

missing out on just because they choose to be ignorant. You go

girl! They will be the same ones in 6 months when they see you will

be dropping their jaws at how great you look.....then have the nerve

to ask you what your secret was! lol

[Guest guest]

I just can't believe what a-holes those women are! I wish I worked out with

you!!! LOL

One thing I do notice... When I go to the gym I wear no makeup and

wear conservative clothes. I blend in and look bad. No one looks my way.

When I was losing ( I will again) and I was in the dressing room getting

ready for work. I did notice a few women look at my in shock... like wow

she looks half way decent after she puts some makeup on ...LOL

d

[Guest guest]

I think that some people, and unfortunately especially some women,

feel that the only way they can feel good about themselves is by

putting others down in comparison. (These are the same women who

will see a really stunning woman somewhere and say " she's not that

attractive. " ) If you're feeling self-conscious, keep in mind that

those women probably started putting down someone else as soon you

they were done with you. I know that it is going to be really tough

to walk by those women without calling them the b-word under your

breath, but try to keep in mind that their discussion says more

about them than it does about you. I find that mentally playing an

inspirational song about overcoming odds (for me it's an ani

difranco song) helps me at tough times like that.

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

,

I know it's difficult to ignore these kinds of people but remember

that your body size is not who you are. You are, I'm sure, a caring,

smart person, and just because you wear a plus size doesn't mean

anyone has a right to taunt you. People like these women are so

insecure that they need to put others down in order to feel better

about themselves. They don't know you, so anything they say is based

on their perceptions, which are in and of themselves tained by their

shallow minds. You have as much right to be there as they do! Work

out to your heart's content, and don't let the fools keep you down.

Dani

[Guest guest]

> Has anyone had an experience where others assumed you were poor or

> uneducated because you were fat? I'm married with children, live in

a

> beautiful home, and my household income is in the upper range. I

> recently overheard two women at my local health club discussing me

in

> the bathroom. All three of us were entering the club at the same

time.

> (which is the first time I've seen them outside the club) I signed

in

> and entered the bathroom and overheard these two ladies talking.

They

> seemed to be shocked that I was driving a nice car, they said I must

> have " rented it " or " it must be a friends car " . One of them even

said

> I know she can't afford a car like that. One of the women commented

> on how " pathetic " I looked using the leg curl machine. These women

> don't know anything about me, and they only see me coming and going

> in the evening at the health club. I wear the same thing every one

> else wears, such as tshirts, jogging pants, or workout gear. I also

> wear my hair up or in a ponytail when working out like everyone

else.

> I see the same people everyday at the club, but like the majority of

> other people I don't say any more than hello and goodbye. With the

> exception of me being one of the largest woman at the club in the

> evening, I look just as good as anyone else. I can only assume they

> feel this way because I'm so fat. How can someone assume you're poor

> or can't afford nice things just because you're fat? Anyone had this

> experience? My eyes were so full of tears on the way home that I

> could barely see the street. Thank god I didn't have an accident. I

> didn't even workout after hearing the above. I wonder what everyone

> else secretly thinks about me.

I can't say that I've had an experience like that since I wasn't

extremely overweight but many of my loved ones are very heavy. Your

post angered and saddened me. Try to keep a positive outlook. I know

it's hard when something like that happens. Stay true to yourself and

don't let people like that detract you from your dream/goal.

A quote from Pam Brown who lost over 100 lbs in 4 challenges, " My

confidence was at an all time low because I didn't trust myself. Now,

I make little promises to myself all day long and I keep them! What a

confidence booster to do this day after day after day. " So....keep

doing what is best for you and don't let shallow people like that have

the benefit of stopping you from achieving your goal. We are behind

you!

An

[Guest guest]

,

Please don't let these morons derail you. Unfortunately you overheard

someone talking about you in a negative fashion. I know how much that

had to hurt. I'm imagining myself in that situation and Wow, that

would be so hard. I can imagine crying about it too. But as you can

see by the responses you have received already on this board, there

are alot of people rooting for you and there ARE people there at your

gym who are positive people. Just imagine that we are all there with

you during your next workout. Imagine us coming to your gym and

intimidating them!!! We'll get to do it!

<<Hugs>>

Jan

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement and concern. After reading

all your messages my spirit was lifted. I returned to the club today,

and it was the most difficult thing in the world to do. I saw both

those ladies like clock work, and one gave me a condescending type of

smirk, but I didn't run away this time. I laid my big fat butt on the

curl machine that is directly in front of the pec machine she was

using. That was my way of saying, kiss my ass. LMAO

> --

>

> There are people like that in every gym in America...people who

have

> absolutely nothing better to do than worry about everyone else

around

> them and gossip. You have every single right in the world to be at

> that gym, drive that car, and live in the house where you live.

>

> I have an uncle who is a journalist for USA Today who has lost

about

> 150 pounds with a lap band (not gastric bypass, but a type of

> permanent surgery) and tells me similar stories. His are about how

he

> was passed over for more than one job promotion and how people used

> to talk about him on airplanes (more people than not would actually

> ask to be moved right in front of him), during meetings when they

> thought he was out of hearing, etc before he had the surgery. He

> still has about 100 more pounds to go but has recently started

going

> to the gym. He has the best attitude about it. He really just goes

> there to get the job done, even though he admitted to me that it

was

> one of the hardest places to go into.

>

> Please, PLEASE don't let this discourage you. In my experience, for

> every person like who you ran into tonight, there is at least one

> other person in the gym who is encouraging, supportive, and could

> care less about how much you weigh, what kind of car you drive,

etc.

> Trust me, no matter what you look like (you could weigh 120lbs and

be

> a size 4), those women would still find something just as mean and

> hurtful to talk about.

>

> I call these types of people " toxic. " I don't have time for them in

> my life to bring me down and I sure as heck don't give them the

> advantage. You can confront them and see if that gets you anywhere,

> but in my experience, sometimes you've just got to write certain

> things off and pick up and move on. There's always going to be

> something standing in your way of getting to your goals, whether

it's

> people, time, money, ice cream, whatever. It's up to you to figure

> out a way to get around those obstacles.

>

> Keep your chin up!

> Maggie