My Two Year Old is Regressing, Need Advice (LONG)

[Guest guest]

I have not posted in a long time, as we have not had many issues to

deal with, and have worked out old issues!

My son is 28 months old, he's been walking since 19 mos. and can say

10 to 15 words, and is very social (he can sign " more, " but shows

little interest in learning baby signs). He has been in an early

Headstart program since 18 mos. (He will go into a Montessori toddler

program in July.)

He does very well in school, but in the past few months has regressed

at home.

The biggest reason: he is now one of the oldest kids in his class,

and the older children, who were his role models, have graduated (at

age three they move on) or moved to the older toddler class next

door. So now my son is copying behavior from infants and 12 to 15 mo.

olds (instead of older two year olds). I am going to ask that he be

transfered to the older toddler class when the director gets back

from vacation.

Second, they have a new teacher who is too loose with the children,

my son's regular teacher is great and sets limits and sticks to them,

but not the other newer teacher.

Third, my son has had his therapies at school (speech, physical, and

his home teacher). I now realize this is not a good situation for him

(or any child). Young children need the same rules, the same

bounderies, the same limits, from ALL the adults they come in contact

with. Too many adults is confusing to the child (they each have a

different set of rules and bounderies and limits). I have now stopped

his therapies at school, so he comes into contact with only a few

adults.

His regression is with the rules, the bounderies, the limits. He

pushes them to no end! where as before, when he was told " no " he

listened. Now, he ignores you, and will repeat the behavior

relentlessly.

For example, he is not allowed to chew on books, and he learned that

this was not OK, and stopped doing it; but now, he looks you straight

in the eye, smiles, and chews on the book (the same with throwing

toys, climbing on tables, hitting daddy--being rough--which is

partially daddy's fault, banging on the child gates, to name a few).

These were issues we worked out, but now they are back again with a

VENGENCE! And when he is told no, or, that's not OK, etc., he either

continues the beahvior, screams at you, or cries. And he will repeat

this up to ten times in a day.

In the summer we worked with a behavior specialist who had lots of

experience with DS kids/adults, and his advice was to ignore negative

behavior (which did not work). But the negative behavior went away

(we worked closely with the school to all be consistent) and we had

little, if any, issues with our son. But since the fall, the new

teacher, and the older children leaving, BOY DO WE HAVE ISSUES!

The way we handle it is to give him a time out in his room, for two

minutes. We don't ignore the behavior, nor do we allow it to happen,

but the time and energy spent on these issues is too much to handle

at times. Any advice, words of wisdom, tips, or common experiences?

Thank you and sorry for such a long message!

Nolan

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/2/2007 5:42:12 PM Eastern Standard Time,

newmearth@... writes:

He

pushes them to no end! where as before, when he was told " no " he

listened. Now, he ignores you, and will repeat the behavior

relentlessly.

--- gee - THAT part sounds like typical 2-year-old behavior!

But he definately needs to be around people who will systematically curb

that behavior. He's smart enough to know what he's doing - make sure the people

who teach him realize that too!

- Becky

[Guest guest]

<<My son is 28 months old, he's been walking since 19 mos. and can say

10 to 15 words, and is very social (he can sign " more, " but shows

little interest in learning baby signs). He has been in an early

Headstart program since 18 mos. (He will go into a Montessori toddler

program in July.) The biggest reason: he is now one of the oldest kids in

his class,

and the older children, who were his role models, have graduated (at

age three they move on) or moved to the older toddler class next

door. So now my son is copying behavior from infants and 12 to 15 mo.

olds (instead of older two year olds). I am going to ask that he be

transfered to the older toddler class when the director gets back

from vacation.>>

My first question would be is he the only 28 month old child in this class??

Would other children have already moved on at this age??

If the answer is yes I would definitely talk to the director about moving

him into a class with older children to have more age appropriate peer

models available. Saying that I agree with the other posters who indicate

this very well may be a typical terrible twos situation which while it may

be delayed from other children still tends to happen.. Which as with any

child, is always a challenge to parents.

And whenever there is change in the child's routine, I have found testing

the limits of the envelope behavior develop..

If the regression has only happened at home and not at school even when he

had the extra therapies, I suggest that you reconsider some of his

additional therapies. I have found that while was challenged and

thrived in the school integrated classes with all therapies, different

teachers and aides, that some of the typical behavior problems will happen

at home.. Especially in an environment that they feel is safe to push the

envelope and try to exert their independence, self awareness, increased

mobility and curiosity, (climbing on tables and banging on gates - maybe he

wants to be somewhere else??),

In fact I remember some of these same behavior issues with my now almost 16

year old son (only thing he is diagnosed with is teenageitis) when he was

2.. Including one time when he bit another child through corduroy pants and

drew blood.. (I was so embarrassed).but he was not that verbal yet and was

having a territory dispute with another child.

So overall what I am saying is to calm down just a tad.. Some of this is

truly is normal developmental processes and is to be expected from any

child, typical or special needs, with or without a preschool situation,

stay at home with no other adult interactions, or several different teachers

and therapists in the same day.

Take care. enjoy that little boundary tester..

ann

_____

[Guest guest]

This is about the age that Myah started this type of behavior too. She was

so sweet and innocent-you could take her anywhere and so on…and then…the 2’s

hit. She just turned 6 last week and we are finally on our way out. Thank

God! (and I do mean that) Personally I think that since our kids are

“behind” it takes a little longer for them to come out of that stage,

although not all kids, even those with DS, are the same. Hang in there and

stay strong. :-)

, mom to Myah 6 (DS), Shianne 2, and baby! Yes folks there will be

another one in July! When’s this year’s Suaree??

My Two Year Old is Regressing, Need Advice (LONG)

I have not posted in a long time, as we have not had many issues to

deal with, and have worked out old issues!

My son is 28 months old, he's been walking since 19 mos. and can say

10 to 15 words, and is very social (he can sign " more, " but shows

little interest in learning baby signs). He has been in an early

Headstart program since 18 mos. (He will go into a Montessori toddler

program in July.)

He does very well in school, but in the past few months has regressed

at home.

The biggest reason: he is now one of the oldest kids in his class,

and the older children, who were his role models, have graduated (at

age three they move on) or moved to the older toddler class next

door. So now my son is copying behavior from infants and 12 to 15 mo.

olds (instead of older two year olds). I am going to ask that he be

transfered to the older toddler class when the director gets back

from vacation.

Second, they have a new teacher who is too loose with the children,

my son's regular teacher is great and sets limits and sticks to them,

but not the other newer teacher.

Third, my son has had his therapies at school (speech, physical, and

his home teacher). I now realize this is not a good situation for him

(or any child). Young children need the same rules, the same

bounderies, the same limits, from ALL the adults they come in contact

with. Too many adults is confusing to the child (they each have a

different set of rules and bounderies and limits). I have now stopped

his therapies at school, so he comes into contact with only a few

adults.

His regression is with the rules, the bounderies, the limits. He

pushes them to no end! where as before, when he was told " no " he

listened. Now, he ignores you, and will repeat the behavior

relentlessly.

For example, he is not allowed to chew on books, and he learned that

this was not OK, and stopped doing it; but now, he looks you straight

in the eye, smiles, and chews on the book (the same with throwing

toys, climbing on tables, hitting daddy--being rough--which is

partially daddy's fault, banging on the child gates, to name a few).

These were issues we worked out, but now they are back again with a

VENGENCE! And when he is told no, or, that's not OK, etc., he either

continues the beahvior, screams at you, or cries. And he will repeat

this up to ten times in a day.

In the summer we worked with a behavior specialist who had lots of

experience with DS kids/adults, and his advice was to ignore negative

behavior (which did not work). But the negative behavior went away

(we worked closely with the school to all be consistent) and we had

little, if any, issues with our son. But since the fall, the new

teacher, and the older children leaving, BOY DO WE HAVE ISSUES!

The way we handle it is to give him a time out in his room, for two

minutes. We don't ignore the behavior, nor do we allow it to happen,

but the time and energy spent on these issues is too much to handle

at times. Any advice, words of wisdom, tips, or common experiences?

Thank you and sorry for such a long message!

Nolan

[Guest guest]

Wow - congratulations , that was a surprise I thought you probably had

given up on the idea seeing as Myah was being such a handful there at one

stage.

All the best to everyone.

Jan, mother of Trent 22yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

-- My Two Year Old is Regressing, Need Advice (LONG)

I have not posted in a long time, as we have not had many issues to

deal with, and have worked out old issues!

My son is 28 months old, he's been walking since 19 mos. and can say

10 to 15 words, and is very social (he can sign " more, " but shows

little interest in learning baby signs). He has been in an early

Headstart program since 18 mos. (He will go into a Montessori toddler

program in July.)

He does very well in school, but in the past few months has regressed

at home.

The biggest reason: he is now one of the oldest kids in his class,

and the older children, who were his role models, have graduated (at

age three they move on) or moved to the older toddler class next

door. So now my son is copying behavior from infants and 12 to 15 mo.

olds (instead of older two year olds). I am going to ask that he be

transfered to the older toddler class when the director gets back

from vacation.

Second, they have a new teacher who is too loose with the children,

my son's regular teacher is great and sets limits and sticks to them,

but not the other newer teacher.

Third, my son has had his therapies at school (speech, physical, and

his home teacher). I now realize this is not a good situation for him

(or any child). Young children need the same rules, the same

bounderies, the same limits, from ALL the adults they come in contact

with. Too many adults is confusing to the child (they each have a

different set of rules and bounderies and limits). I have now stopped

his therapies at school, so he comes into contact with only a few

adults.

His regression is with the rules, the bounderies, the limits. He

pushes them to no end! where as before, when he was told " no " he

listened. Now, he ignores you, and will repeat the behavior

relentlessly.

For example, he is not allowed to chew on books, and he learned that

this was not OK, and stopped doing it; but now, he looks you straight

in the eye, smiles, and chews on the book (the same with throwing

toys, climbing on tables, hitting daddy--being rough--which is

partially daddy's fault, banging on the child gates, to name a few).

These were issues we worked out, but now they are back again with a

VENGENCE! And when he is told no, or, that's not OK, etc., he either

continues the beahvior, screams at you, or cries. And he will repeat

this up to ten times in a day.

In the summer we worked with a behavior specialist who had lots of

experience with DS kids/adults, and his advice was to ignore negative

behavior (which did not work). But the negative behavior went away

(we worked closely with the school to all be consistent) and we had

little, if any, issues with our son. But since the fall, the new

teacher, and the older children leaving, BOY DO WE HAVE ISSUES!

The way we handle it is to give him a time out in his room, for two

minutes. We don't ignore the behavior, nor do we allow it to happen,

but the time and energy spent on these issues is too much to handle

at times. Any advice, words of wisdom, tips, or common experiences?

Thank you and sorry for such a long message!

Nolan