difficult day at school

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue, I am not a professional, but I have had to advocate VERY heavily for my

son for the last 5 years because of his OCD and AD/HD. I would make certain that

not only the teacher, but the Principal, School Psychologist, etc. be told that

you NEED to be called before they institute any disciplinary measures with your

son. What they did today was punish him for having symptoms of his OCD. The

least they could do is give you a call to notify you of the problem and to

request your assistance in dealing with Chase's issue with the glue today. I

neglected to ask earlier in my reply...does he have an IEP or 504 Plan? If so,

these types of issues can be addresses in that format. I can certainly empathize

about the picking as my son goes through periods when he picks, more often when

his anxiety levels are higher. in Southeastern PA

auntzeus wrote: i just picked Chase up at after

school program and his hands are raw.

He has a note which he was required to write to me about his behavior

today. At school, they were working on a Mother's Day gift which

involed glueing w/ " liquid " glue,(as Chase calls it). He had major

anxiety about glueing and getting the glue on his hands. He had

another in the class tell him to but more glue on the craft stick and

squeeze it together, so of course, he now has glue on his hands. But

the teacher would not allow him to wash his hands, as she thinks he

did it on purpose, so Chase was sent to the hall and had to wait

until the entire class was done w/ the project< then he was allowed

to wash his hands. So needless to say he picked all the glue off his

hands and most of the skin. We have been home about 30 minutes and

he is still obessing about the glue and what it will do to his skin,

he's taking 2 baths, 1 shower and washed his hands 10 times (oumoing

the liquid soap 12 times each time) I am so upset w/ the teacher !

she know about the OCD but sometime she just odes'nt understand. I

have to go know to the store so he can read a bottle of Elmers glue

so he can see for himelsf the it is washable, His hands will have an

hard time healing as he is into " picking " at his fingers and scabs.

Any feed abck about what I should say to the teacher tomorrow?

Thanks, Sue

[Guest guest]

Dear Sue,

Here's my 'two bits'.

I am really angry hearing that people would take advantage of a kid who has

some problems that he is working on. You are a caring, responsible adult

attempting to help your child as best you can. When you send them off to

school, you should be able to expect a resonable amount of care for your

child while they are there. If the teacher had not known of your child's

disorder, then I believe the issue would be ENTIRELY different, but knowing

the disorder and doing what she did is, for me, child abuse. I consider it

nothing less than that. As in dealing with a disordered child, so would I

deal with this teacher. I would make my actions decisive to the point that

she was well aware never to mess with my child again because that's exactly

what I feel she did. She took advantage of a 'handicapped' child and in any

other scenario, she'd be in deep do-do. Maybe you can't get her in deep

do-do, but I'd at least be sure to have a letter of mine placed in her

teaching file with her supervisors. This is going to be very difficult for

a child with OCD to deal with and I simply would not tolerate it. As I

said, this makes me very angry. Personally, I'd like to 'ring her throat'

for this. I think it is important that you establish your feelings about

this strongly so that she and no other teacher ever choices to engage with

your son in this fashion.

First, I'd be sure of the ropes to cover to really nail her. Then I'd let

her have it. I wouldn't just handle it with her. (I believe her supervisor

will have to have a talk with her if a letter comes to the supervisor on

this. They seem to love paper work and I'd be giving them some.)

Good luck to you, and especially your child.

M

difficult day at school

> i just picked Chase up at after school program and his hands are raw.

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue, I would simply say that you don't want your child consequenced for any

behavior involving substances on his hands or handwashing, that these are

symptoms of his disorder and beyond his control at the moment. Then I'd say

that if the teacher finds herself in a situation where she is unsure, she should

call you. I found that I could talk round and round explaining about OCD, but

teachers often wouldn't understand or think of OCD in the moment...instead

stating plainly what I wanted/expected more often did the trick.

(((Hugs))) from a fellow Mom whose little girl spent far too much time in the

hall as punishment for having a vocal tic during story time. Sometimes teachers

are cruel to our kids in ways they don't realize.

Take care, good luck,

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: auntzeus

i just picked Chase up at after school program and his hands are raw.

He has a note which he was required to write to me about his behavior

today. At school, they were working on a Mother's Day gift which

involed glueing w/ " liquid " glue,(as Chase calls it). He had major

anxiety about glueing and getting the glue on his hands. He had

another in the class tell him to but more glue on the craft stick and

squeeze it together, so of course, he now has glue on his hands. But

the teacher would not allow him to wash his hands, as she thinks he

did it on purpose, so Chase was sent to the hall and had to wait

until the entire class was done w/ the project< then he was allowed

to wash his hands. So needless to say he picked all the glue off his

hands and most of the skin. We have been home about 30 minutes and

he is still obessing about the glue and what it will do to his skin,

he's taking 2 baths, 1 shower and washed his hands 10 times (oumoing

the liquid soap 12 times each time) I am so upset w/ the teacher !

she know about the OCD but sometime she just odes'nt understand. I

have to go know to the store so he can read a bottle of Elmers glue

so he can see for himelsf the it is washable, His hands will have an

hard time healing as he is into " picking " at his fingers and scabs.

Any feed abck about what I should say to the teacher tomorrow?

[Guest guest]

Sue,

First of all, do you have a 504 plan in place for your son at school? We

battled issues for a few years and I finally said enough is enough and called

the exceptional childrens director to help us. We put a 504 plan into place

to help us with certain issues at school. My son's OCD wasn't the only issue

however...he has severe food allergies and asthma and " nothing " was being

handled the way it should have been. We did include some things in the 504

regarding the OCD. One thing we requested and it was implemented, is that

the teachers be required to read material that we provided them on OCD in

children to familiarize themselves with the disorder so they could better

relate to our son. (Although we have one teacher who STILL doesn't get

it...and these are supposed to be educated people?) My suggestion if you've

dealt with this teacher before regarding the issues is to skip the teacher

and go straight to the principal. We finally had to do that before they took

us seriously. We first tried a meeting with the teachers and the principal

to discuss some things and how it should be handled as to benefit my son and

not make things worse ... after that still failed in areas....we implemented

the 504 plan. Good luck.

glenda in NC

[Guest guest]

Sydnie has had a difficult day at school with following directions and working

in groups. It worries me to death to wonder what I can do to make this easier

for her during the day. I worry about her all day. Is she listening, is she

doing what she's suppose to? I know she is testing her limits as far as they

will go. It just seems like its excessive.....I went to eat lunch with her

today and seen it for myself. What can I do for both me and her?

~Angie

Research Associate of Child Development and Human Relations to

Sydnie (5/26/00) www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/sydniebrooke

Saylor (4/30/04) www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babytate

" May God Bless You As He Has Us "

An extra little chromosome,

that's all it is, you see.

Where all of you were born with two,

I was blessed with three

" My Children are God's gift to me.

How I raise them, is my gift to God. "

[Guest guest]

Angie,

It will get better {{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}

She will get into the routine of school, and so will you. Right now you

need to emphasise to teacher/staff that YOU need some positive feedback,

and have them not dwell on the negative! How many typical

kindergarteners are having a bit of trouble transitioning to the new

routine? We had one at our school that just ran.... ran out of the

room, ran away, ran to try and find his older sister........ typical

kid, not so happy the first few days of school :-) If you observe in a

typical kindergarten room, may children are having difficulty learning

the rules, following directions, and not chatting with their

neighbors......... I do believe it's rather age approriate. Part of the

problem is too, that we (society) have pushed teachers so hard for test

scores and such that kindergarten teachers have having to try and teach

reading and math to kiddos who 15? years ago were playing in the

playhouse, fingerpainting and enjoying storytime..... they were allowed

to act a bit more like 5 year old kids!

For me, I think the classroom routine and socially appropriate stuff is

more important in the beginning than the academics........ I'd rather

have my child " working " the the group (even if they were not doing the

assigned work at the beginning) rather than making a scene and standing

out to the other kids with a particular behavior. Maybe she's not ready

to sit and do a worksheet AND be surrounded by kids at the table.....

I'd find out if the noise and stuff, plus having to try and do something

challenging, perhaps something she doesn't understand fully, is

contributing to her behavior. It always amazes me that the school never

considers that perhaps 's " refusal " type behaviors might be

triggered by difficult work and/or lack of understanding (though as

she's gotten older, you can see it....... she looks at a paper, crinkles

up her nose, puts her hands up like someone is trying to feed her

something really bad, then pushes the paper away)

Around here, we have grown to expect that the first 6-8 weeks of every

school year will be a bit challenging....... is always

thrilled to get back, this year spent half the summer saying " you know

where I'm going August 24th " to anyone who would listen, etc. Then,

reality hits, and the work starts, and she tests the new folks. At

least I can warn the teachers now, so that we don't have so much

negative info coming home. I also schedule a meeting for " no later than

6 weeks after school begins " so that the teacher knows she will have

that chance to unload on us........ seems to help with the daily

" didn't do........., would not.............. "

stuff..... they save it for the meeting, and by the time we meet, things

have settled down tremendously. Uusually by the beginning of Oct, she's

in the groove, and although we do have our occaional " days " , they are

nothing like the beginning of the school year.

Today was a new one......... got a call from the school nurse saying I

had to come get because she fell asleep in class! Guess

decided that if you can't fight 'em, tune 'em out! Perhaps

Mrs. B. isn't the most stimulating math teacher, LOL. Decided not to

fight it this time, but should it happen again, I will tell them to just

wake her up and continue! She's been perky all day at home with me, and

I'll just make sure she goes to bed a bit earlier tonight.... she had

plenty of sleep last night, so who knows what's up..... certainly

doesn't seem sick or sleepy to me! So you never know what our little

darlings will do to test their new teachers!

Good luck as you both go through this difficult transition.

, mom to (10), (8 DS), and Sammy (7)

Angie Tate wrote:

> Sydnie has had a difficult day at school with following directions and

> working in groups. It worries me to death to wonder what I can do to

> make this easier for her during the day. I worry about her all day. Is

> she listening, is she doing what she's suppose to? I know she is

> testing her limits as far as they will go. It just seems like its

> excessive.....I went to eat lunch with her today and seen it for

> myself. What can I do for both me and her?

> ~Angie

> Research Associate of Child Development and Human Relations to

> Sydnie (5/26/00) www.babiesonline.com/babies/s/sydniebrooke

> Saylor (4/30/04) www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babytate

>

> " May God Bless You As He Has Us "

>

> An extra little chromosome,

> that's all it is, you see.

> Where all of you were born with two,

> I was blessed with three

>

> " My Children are God's gift to me.

> How I raise them, is my gift to God. "

>

>