Re: sitting down as means of resistance

[Guest guest]

I found the MUCH more effective approach in these situations is to make a

" game " out of the task. Tone of voice makes a big difference!

example:

1. " I'll race you to the door... on your mark, get set, go! " follow up with

" oh no, you beat me! " (usually followed by laughter ...)

2. " I'm going to count to 10 and then you'll get get in the bath...1,2,3,...

" (usually holds still until about number " 9 " and then she

scrambles)... (I use different numbers each time, reinforces counting...)

3. Sometimes if she is particularly sluggish (like getting out of bed in the

AM) ... " I'm going to count to 12, and if you aren't in the bath I'm going to

tickle you... " (If I get to 12 I tickle her a little... which she really

doesn't like, and then I start again..) " If you aren't in the bath by the time I

get to 7 I'm going to tickle you.... "

The advantage of this is that it leaves the child with some sense of dignity

that she/he is in control... and you BOTH win

- Becky

---

In a message dated 2/15/2006 9:17:54 AM Eastern Standard Time,

anndmasch@... writes:

I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does that

I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I am

still

able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this usually is the

result of being told to do something that involves leaving the house or taking

a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the day comes that I won't be

able to pick her up. I have consistently punished her with a timeout for

this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which I regret) and yet nothing

phases her. I feel by the expression on her face that she knows something

unpleasant will happen as a result but she still does it. What should I do?

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

Hi Ana,

This is known as the " plop and drop. " And yes, common.

What I would do is praise her greatly the times that she does comply and

when she chooses not to, just pick her up and move her as matter of factly

as possible. Give her as little attention as you can when she won't move,

just say, " Now it's time to go to the car. " or " Now it's time to go take

a bath. " Whatever she is supposed to be doing. Just tell her that once or

twice and move her.

If it's not something she HAS to be involved in, ignore her and make sure

that the rest of you are enjoying whatever she has chosen not to be involved

in.

Also, make sure you are giving her plenty of time to process things. For

example, if it's going to be time to go somewhere, tell her.. " We have 5

more minutes and then we need to leave for Aunt Sally's. " And then.. Tell

her " OK. We have two more minutes and we need to leave. " And then, " Oh,

it's time to go now. Can you please get in the car? " My son does much

better when we have prewarning and he has the time to process it, needing

more time than the typical child.

I hope this helps, but I would just be totally positive. Remember, you are

teaching them by whatever consequence you are giving them.

Good luck,

" Attitudes are Contageous. Is YOURS worth catching? "

[Guest guest]

LOL, we call that the " wet noodle " . Nic is now 66 lbs. he still will do

that occasionally but I just pick him up from behind, under his arms and

tell him to stand up (very sternly). So far it's working but my back will

not tolerate much longer

Di

sitting down as means of resistance

>I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

>that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

>something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I am

>still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

>usually is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving

>the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the day

>comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

>her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which I

>regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face

>that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still

>does it. What should I do?

>

> Thanks,

>

> Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

>

>

> ---------------------------------

>

> What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

>

>

[Guest guest]

christopher is 11 and has not done that for years. thank goodness. but the

other day at the dr. office (where he weighed 99 pounds at his well

check-up) he did it when he realized he had to have blood taken. i was able

to get him to follow me to the room (miracle) but then he sat on the floor

there - where they drew the blood with him on floor. the good news is that

the behavior DOES lessen as the kids get too big to lift. and believe me -

there is no way i could lift him at this point. don't borrow trouble - the

things you worry about may never happen! karen in dallas

sitting down as means of resistance

>

>

> >I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

> >that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

> >something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I

am

> >still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

> >usually is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving

> >the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the

day

> >comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

> >her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which

I

> >regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face

> >that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still

> >does it. What should I do?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

> > What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

This is totally my world right now too!! Lol

We refer to it as putting the brakes on. Myah is also 5 (only weighing 37

pounds makes it a little easier, but still!) We do the game thing too.

There's a game for everything. We have to sing a little jingle to get her to

put her coat on. It's so funny because Shianne (16mo) sings the little

jingle when we put her coat on too. We just discussed that we do have to be

careful that Shianne doesn't get jealous of the attention Myah gets to get

her to do something that Shianne just DOES. To put her shoes on at my mom's

at night when I pick her up she sits on the stairs and my mom has to put her

shoes on. My step dad acts like he's sneaking around the corner to scare my

mom and Myah cracks up anticipating the " attack " . Then he will " scare " my

mom and Myah laughs. Then in the car I bribe her that if she doesn't keep

her shoes on she cannot watch big bird when she gets home. This is a new

bribe (lol) but seems to be working. A lot of times I find that if I back up

and give her a few minutes to think about what I am asking her to do it

helps and she will do it-but that doesn't always work. I feel your pain.

, mom to Myah 5 (12/28/00)

sitting down as means of resistance

I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does that

I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I am

still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this usually

is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving the house

or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the day comes that

I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished her with a

timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which I regret) and

yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face that she knows

something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still does it. What

should I do?

Thanks,

Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

---------------------------------

What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

[Guest guest]

.. It's so funny because Shianne (16mo)

where have those 16months gone! It doesn't seem that long since you

were counting down to her birth.

Love

Jan, mother of Trent 21yo w/DS from the LandDownUnder

sitting down as means of resistance

I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does that

I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I am

still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this usually

is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving the house

or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the day comes that

I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished her with a

timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which I regret) and

yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face that she knows

something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still does it. What

should I do?

Thanks,

Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

---------------------------------

What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

[Guest guest]

I know-don't remind me!! My husband is already telling me she's not a baby

anymore and that we need another one. I think he's on drugs!! Lol She's so

adorable. Just yesterday she told my mom she had to " pot " and then she

proceeded to go over to the potty and pee. I almost died. Myah certainly has

a best friend.

sitting down as means of resistance

I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does that

I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I am

still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this usually

is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving the house

or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the day comes that

I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished her with a

timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which I regret) and

yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face that she knows

something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still does it. What

should I do?

Thanks,

Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

---------------------------------

What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

[Guest guest]

Hello,

Since you mentioned about blood being drawn. Last December was austin's

annual checkup, with the blood draw. No matter how much we talk about it,

when the time comes he gets himself so worked up.. I could feel is heart

pounding and he started getting clammy. In the past i've been able to hold

him in my lap with my legs wrapped around his and one adult holding the arm

to be poked while the other drew the blood. This year he was able to wiggle

out of my grip. Luckily i had my husband with me and he laid on a gurny

with his body wrapped around austin, Joe was amazed at just how strong

austin is. Joe is 210 lbs and austin is 50!

This is such a horrible experience for austin, he has such an amazing memory

i fear he will not " grow out " of this. How do you all deal with the blood

draws? I'm thinking of having him sedated next year. When he gets very

upset he'll thrash about and try and hit is head on anything close to him.

as he wiggled out of my arms with the first try of the blood draw, if I hadn

t held onto his body, he was trying to bang his head on the tile floor,

surely would have cracked his head open! No amount of bribing or rewards

works in this situation.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Kelli mom to Austin DS 10 and 15 months.

-- Re: sitting down as means of resistance

christopher is 11 and has not done that for years. thank goodness. but the

other day at the dr. office (where he weighed 99 pounds at his well

check-up) he did it when he realized he had to have blood taken. i was able

to get him to follow me to the room (miracle) but then he sat on the floor

there - where they drew the blood with him on floor. the good news is that

the behavior DOES lessen as the kids get too big to lift. and believe me -

there is no way i could lift him at this point. don't borrow trouble - the

things you worry about may never happen! karen in dallas

sitting down as means of resistance

>

>

> >I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

> >that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

> >something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I

am

> >still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

> >usually is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving

> >the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the

day

> >comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

> >her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which

I

> >regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face

> >that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still

> >does it. What should I do?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> >

> > What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

isn't really keen on blood draws either, and up until last

year, I could have them papoose her. Now she's too big, so I get her up

on the table, straddle her with my knees about her hips, use my chest to

keep her torso from coming up (not laying on her, but very close) and

get right in her face and talk directly to her. I try and be as calm as

I can, " hold still and this will be over real quick " , " it's just a

pinch, and then it will be fine " , " remember, we are going out for ice

cream as soon as we are done " , " Mommy's right here and you are going to

be just fine " . I try and stroke her face (without falling off the

tabel, LOL). They usually have at least 2 helpers to hold her arms

(both the one getting the draw, as well as the other one, if I haven't

managed to secure it with my knees), and perhaps one at her legs. It

only takes a minute or two if everyone is ready, and she has always

forgiven me :-) I hate the entire thing, but I'm hoping as she gets

older, she will start to realize that it will be OK. She screams and

cries, flails her arms and kicks, but we have made it so far.... she is

amazingly strong, and is 70 lbs now (probably 10 more than last year's

draw)..... I have a lab slip sitting on the frig (for a month now) for

the draw.... I'm thinking about next Friday, since we are off school,

but have been procrastinating :-)

My oldest is actually REALLY freaky with needles...... can't wait to

try and get blood from her. I have to physically restrain her for a flu

shot. She logically knows it's not a big deal, and that it won't hurt

but a second, but she gets really wacked out hours before a shot.....

she's alreay mentioned the shots she has to get next October at her well

visit, LOL. She carries on like you are going to cut her arm off, and

she's close to 100 pounds (and over 5 ft., so she's only 6 inches

shorter than me.......... fortunately/unfortunately, I've got the weight

advantage!)

A few times, I have also arranged for routine blood draws for

while she was sedated for ear tube surgery. I had to get the orders and

tubes in advance, give them to the nurseat the hospital right before,

then take them back to our dr. office (since the insurance won't pay to

have the lab work done at the hospital). Well worth the effort, if

there is any " regular " sedation in your child's life.

, mom to (10), (8 DS), and (6)

Kelli wrote:

> Hello,

>

>Since you mentioned about blood being drawn. Last December was austin's

>annual checkup, with the blood draw. No matter how much we talk about it,

>when the time comes he gets himself so worked up.. I could feel is heart

>pounding and he started getting clammy. In the past i've been able to hold

>him in my lap with my legs wrapped around his and one adult holding the arm

>to be poked while the other drew the blood. This year he was able to wiggle

>out of my grip. Luckily i had my husband with me and he laid on a gurny

>with his body wrapped around austin, Joe was amazed at just how strong

>austin is. Joe is 210 lbs and austin is 50!

>This is such a horrible experience for austin, he has such an amazing memory

> i fear he will not " grow out " of this. How do you all deal with the blood

>draws? I'm thinking of having him sedated next year. When he gets very

>upset he'll thrash about and try and hit is head on anything close to him.

>as he wiggled out of my arms with the first try of the blood draw, if I hadn

>t held onto his body, he was trying to bang his head on the tile floor,

>surely would have cracked his head open! No amount of bribing or rewards

>works in this situation.

>Any input would be greatly appreciated.

>

>Thank you, Kelli mom to Austin DS 10 and 15 months.

>

>-- Re: sitting down as means of resistance

>

>christopher is 11 and has not done that for years. thank goodness. but the

>other day at the dr. office (where he weighed 99 pounds at his well

>check-up) he did it when he realized he had to have blood taken. i was able

>to get him to follow me to the room (miracle) but then he sat on the floor

>there - where they drew the blood with him on floor. the good news is that

>the behavior DOES lessen as the kids get too big to lift. and believe me -

>there is no way i could lift him at this point. don't borrow trouble - the

>things you worry about may never happen! karen in dallas

> sitting down as means of resistance

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>>I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

>>>that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

>>>something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I

>>>

>>>

>am

>

>

>>>still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

>>>usually is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving

>>>the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the

>>>

>>>

>day

>

>

>>>comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

>>>her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which

>>>

>>>

>I

>

>

>>>regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face

>>>that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still

>>>does it. What should I do?

>>>

>>> Thanks,

>>>

>>> Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

>>>

>>>

>>>---------------------------------

>>>

>>>What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

>>>

>>>

[Guest guest]

EMLA cream. A topical anesthetic, the use is widespread for children (and

adults also) to take away most of the pain of the needle stick. When drawing

blood, the needle stick is the most painful part. EMLA cream is available by

prescription, and should be applied to the area 30 minutes before the stick. It

deadens the area and makes blood draws and IV insertions much less horrible. I

have used it on before, calling it the magic cream, and it has made a

difference. The first time, I got some from the doctors office. At home, I

lightly pinched , and asked her if it hurt, of course it did. I then

applied the cream, waited the 30 minutes, and did the pinching again. She said

it didn't hurt. So the next time we had blood drawn, we used the cream and it

really helped her. Now, she still didn't like having the blood drawn, and was

resistant, but the actual procedure was much smoother, and the next even better.

Sharon H.

Mom to , (14, DS) and , (10)

South Carolina

sitting down as means of resistance

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>>I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

>>>that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to do

>>>something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I

>>>

>>>

>am

>

>

>>>still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

>>>usually is the result of being told to do something that involves leaving

>>>the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the

>>>

>>>

>day

>

>

>>>comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

>>>her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which

>>>

>>>

>I

>

>

>>>regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her face

>>>that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she still

>>>does it. What should I do?

>>>

>>> Thanks,

>>>

>>> Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

>>>

>>>

>>>---------------------------------

>>>

>>>What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

>>>

>>>

[Guest guest]

I know what you mean. Bloodwork for tramatizes me more than it

does him. We just had bloodwork done to check for Celiac and cholesterol.

Two seperate doctors combined for one bloodwork session.

If it were one stick I'd probably be able to deal with the initial chaos

involved. But it's always stick, dig, stick, dig. Then ole mom here has

had enough! It's so difficult to get blood from that I have put it

on dad's list to do. I didn't even go this time. Dad reports that this was

the easiest time they've had in a long time. One stick. Wooo Hooo! It

wasn't without incident however. pitched one initially and as dad

says he put up a fight. Attempted to leave and sat in floor and cried. Dad

promised him a toy and so he eventually came around. Funny thing is his

brother had surgery on New Years Eve and was crying about getting an IV and

told him to take it like a man...lol

We have tried Emla cream in the past but in our experience they end up

sticking him somewhere else. Also knows Emla cream means bloodwork

and so that starts him up.

I don't as usual have any answers cept maybe a fave toy or something special

he likes. Bribery works most times for me.

Barb

sitting down as means of resistance

>>

>>

>> >I need some tips on how to deal with something that Amelia (5, ds) does

>> >that I have read is common in children with DS. If she doesn't want to

>> >do

>> >something she just sits down on rump and refuses to budge. At 60 lbs I

> am

>> >still able to pull her up and make her do what I need her to do-this

>> >usually is the result of being told to do something that involves

>> >leaving

>> >the house or taking a bath. However, obviously, I am concerned when the

> day

>> >comes that I won't be able to pick her up. I have consistently punished

>> >her with a timeout for this behavior usually coupled with yelling (which

> I

>> >regret) and yet nothing phases her. I feel by the expression on her

>> >face

>> >that she knows something unpleasant will happen as a result but she

>> >still

>> >does it. What should I do?

>> >

>> > Thanks,

>> >

>> > Ann-mother to Amelia (ds,5) and Jake (4)

>> >

>> >

>> > ---------------------------------

>> >

>> > What are the most popular cars? Find out at Autos

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

I got to the point after the time got three different sticks, all of

which included the pull back and move the needed to a different direction

.....push farther in pull back etc...all while never removing the needle. (I

assume that's the dig?) Scream ouch ouch ouch NO NO NO (I'm sure the whole

clinic hears her and wonders what type of torture she's undergoing, lol) me

on her legs someone else holding her arm . UGH

you gotta ask if they are good with difficult to find viens. If they don't

think they can get it in one stick tell them you'd like them to get the

person who can. There is usually one of those around. :-) I would have

alot more respect for some of these plebotomists if they'd just ADMIT that

they can't find the veins in some people and get someone who CAN.

Last summer was funny, she got this young guy who was definately in

training. He was very willing to listen to me (how many times have I

mentioned that the vacumm tubes won't work and they'll have to go with a

syringe???? to many) the young coworker training him told him to use a

butterfly needle and he tried once with a couple of digs. didn't make

a sound really, and here I was leaning across her lower body in the chair

and the oposit arm to prevent her from moving to much and she just sat there

saying ouch ouch ouch (not screaming) probably to busy trying to impress

him. I think that she did end up with the gal training him doing a stick to

actually get the sample, but the funny thing was she still didn't make a

scene. LOL

So those with older kids might want to concider the kid might be quiet for

someone of the opposit sex. heehe

Joy

----- Original Message -----

From: " Barbara Dillon " <cbbtdillon@...>

But it's always stick, dig, stick, dig. Then ole mom here has

> had enough! It's so difficult to get blood from that I have put

> it

> on dad's list to do. I didn't even go this time. Dad reports that this

> was

> the easiest time they've had in a long time. One stick. Wooo Hooo! It

> wasn't without incident however. pitched one initially and as

> dad

> says he put up a fight.

[Guest guest]

has had a number of ear infections over the years. When they are

particularly painful she does NOT like anyone poking in her ears, but it has to

be done.

She now weighs 110 lbs. She also has AMAZING upper body strength - probably

due to the amount of tuime she likes to spend on the " monkey bars "

I have gotten VERY good at the " bear hug " approch. She sits in my lap and I

wrap my legs around hers, one arm across her arms and chest and gripping my

other upper arm , the other arm across her chest and holding her head to one

side. You probably have to see it to really appreciate it! But I can hold her

better solo than a whole team of " professionals " .

She still doesn't like it but we can get anything done pretty quickly. I

also sing to her.

- Becky

In a message dated 2/16/2006 1:36:08 PM Eastern Standard Time,

kelli1082@... writes:

This is such a horrible experience for austin, he has such an amazing memory

i fear he will not " grow out " of this. How do you all deal with the blood

draws? I'm thinking of having him sedated next year. When he gets very

upset he'll thrash about and try and hit is head on anything close to him.

as he wiggled out of my arms with the first try of the blood draw, if I hadn

t held onto his body, he was trying to bang his head on the tile floor,

surely would have cracked his head open! No amount of bribing or rewards

works in this situation.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Kelli mom to Austin DS 10 and 15 months.