Re: need help asap please

October 31, 2005

When we had this problem with Noah, they used two different things...

They bought a whistle just for him, and he had to go to where the kids line up

to blow it. this was exciting for him, and it got him to the head of the line.

The other technique was to get one of the older kids to coax him in. I think it

was the fourth graders that had recess at the same time. He responded better to

the kids than the teacher. Noah also listens much better to men than women, so

that was an obvious tactic to try. I totally reject punitive punishment.

Noah's a puppy, and if you don't correct him immediately...forget it! He would

be crushed at losing PE, and have no clue why it was happening. He would

however, probably enjoy the VP's office. He loves new places!

Best of luck!

Karla in Texas - mom to Noah 10ds and 14nda

need help asap please

Hi All,

My 8 year old daughter, Shelby, is fully included in 2nd grade, and for the

most part is doing wonderfully. She is making friends, keeping up with her

academics, etc. However, this year we seem to have one problem...her coming

in from recess!! I'm not quite sure why it has been such a challenge this

year for her new aide and teacher, as last year we really didn't have an

issue

(or at least they weren't hounding me with it every single day!). I've tried

to give them suggestions for ways to get her to come in using a more positive

approach, ie counting how many steps it takes to get to the door, singing a

song on her way back to class, giving her a special job - holding the door,

carrying a clipboard or some of the toys they take out for recess, etc., as

well as giving her 5, 2 and 1 minute warnings till time to go in. I even

suggested they come up with a very special reward that she is to receive only

when

she comes in without any " trouble " . I know that they have not even tried

the latter, and I'm not sure that they have been at all consistent with the

other suggestions. Today, and last Friday, they ended up getting the VP to

assist in getting her to come in! Now, keep in mind that we don't really

ever

have this problem at home, and if we do it is pretty easily overcome. So,

the

VP (whom I like a lot, but don't agree on this one) has decided that tomorrow

Shelby will not be allowed to go to recess, and will spend that time in the

VP's office! I do not at all agree with punishing her 24 hours after the

behavior, but I'm willing to let them try it this once. I do not want them

to

use this as a regular method of teaching her correct behavior.

I know that they just want her to obey the rules and that is all there is to

it, but I just don't know if that is always going to be what works best with

Shelby. That is what I want for her too, and I do expect that with time

(and maturity) we will achieve that on a more regular basis, but....what to do

for now?? Personally, I think she is trying to tell us something, perhaps

that since she isn't physically (and socially) as equipped as her typical

peers

to get all that she can out of recess, maybe she just wants an extra minute or

two to play when she feels more comfortable (i.e. when everyone else isn't

around watching her). Does that make any sense? She is a fairly shy child,

and does not feel comfortable with most physical skills, at least not until

she has practiced them a thousand times. She desperately wants to climb on

the jungle gym like all of the other kids, but just isn't able to do so

without

quite a bit of help.

Anyway, I'm rambling, sorry...I'm mainly looking for any ideas that you all

have used in the past when this type of issue has come up. And I'm not ready

to do any type of behavior analysis at this point. Please be as specific as

you can with your suggestions, so that I can relay them to the " team " . I'm

just so tired of getting the notes home every day, and I just don't think

they get it!!!

Thanks in advance!

Sandi -

Mom to Shelby (8w/DS), Stuart (4) and (2)

@ @ @ @ @

,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,

October 31, 2005

We never allowed Maverick to miss recess unless it was for a DRASTIC reason.

He needed that time to burn off energy and frustration...LOL.

We did have this problem. We had the aide start telling him that it was

almost time for the whistle to blow, etc like it sounds that you are doing.

Does the aide/teacher/whomever brings them in from the playground have a

clipboard that she can let her carry in?

If not, have a note card for her to " take to the teacher " and have her do

that regularly.

ALSO, what is her reward for coming in? What is the payoff? Where is her

paycheck? You need to make it worth her while.

Also, why not write a social story about coming in from recess? They can

read it before they go out to the playground and again, when they come in.

Punitive is so useless. Positive, positive positive.

November 1, 2005

Hi Sandy,

We had that problem too. They tried a few strategies but nothing helped for

more than a few days. It depended on what class had after recess the

aide. When he had handwriting (dread) he was less inclined to go in. I knew

that he wanted A's on his report card and so I made him a Recess report card

with his pic on front going down a slide. On the inside the aide could give him

an A each day he came in with the others and there was an area for comments. On

Fridays I would reward him by picking him up after school and taking him to buy

his beloved soldiers. Alot depended on the aide too. Some have been very

resourceful and creative and some have been helpless.

Barb

November 1, 2005

Hi Sandi,

Shelby sounds a lot like my ! is also a fully

included 2nd grader who likes recess so much she forgets to come in

sometimes, LOL, even though she likes her class and does very well

there. She started this behavior in her typical preschool, and get a

lot of reinforcement when the aide would chase her up into the climbing

structure..... would scoot down the other side quickly and the

aide would be on the top....... round and round, lots of laughing on

's part. They noticed that on days had a " playground

job " (they rotated daily) such as line leader or bell ringer, she came

right in. Since they weren't willing to let her be either of their jobs

every day (it wouldn't be fair), one of the teachers made up a new job

" clipboard helper " , where would hold the clipboard and " count "

the children as they came into the classroom. It worked for awhile, but

mostly it broke the cycle of not coming in.

Kindergarten through now, she has gone through times she just didn't

want to leave the playground. Different things were tried like have

been mentioned in earlier posts (both positive and punative), yet we've

never really figured out why she does it, and what works. Some days she

won't come in, and nothing motivates her..... other days she skips

happily in with the other kids with no prompting other than the

playground supervisor's whistle. We seem to go in phases, where she

won't come in every day for a week or two, then by the time they are

telling me about the " problem " , she's coming in on her own. Its

actually become funny..... the teacher and/or aide think it's something

that they have done that has " solved " they problem and are patting

themselves on the back...... until she starts up again in a month or two

(and I know she will). Then it's my problem again :-) I do think that

missing recess isn't the answer for any child, at least on a regular

basis. I wish I had more suggestions, but you are definitly not alone.

's teacher this year is running her classroom behavior system

differently from others I've seen, and there is very little

flexibility..... you do this, or you " Take A Break " . There isn't much

positive except for praise, which is great if you respond to that, but

lots of children need more. REALLY doens't want to get a

" Take a Break " card, and when she's in the classroom, this is a

deterrant for negative behaviors. However, as strong as it is in the

classroom, the threat of a TAB card won't get her in from recess if

she't not finished playing.

I agree with you that she is trying to tell you something. I spend a

lot of breath telling teachers that usually 's behaviors are a

way of communicating something...... most don't buy it, but I do. It's

not an excuse for poor behavior, and obvioulsy I want my child to behave

well. However, I do know that what they call " stubborn " when

won't start an assignment is more that it's too hard or she doesnt think

she can do it, it's visually overwhelming (like 50 tiny math problems on

a page), or somthing that is more abstract (e.g. " write a paragraph

about what you did this weekend " ), etc. This year they are finally

starting to see this, and for example, now math isn't such a big deal to

start because they fold the worksheet in half so she doens't have to see

as many right off the bat. I've yet to figure out the recess thing, but

I'm guessing it's something going on in her mind that we don't see the

same way. If you think it's " alone " jungle gym time, maybe they would

let her out a minute or two early so she could have that time before the

other kids came out, letting her know that she could lose that privilege

if she doesn't come in with the class?

Good luck..... it's a very frustrating one!

, mom to (10), (7 DS) and (6)

sml524@... wrote:

>Hi All,

>

>My 8 year old daughter, Shelby, is fully included in 2nd grade, and for the

>most part is doing wonderfully. She is making friends, keeping up with her

>academics, etc. However, this year we seem to have one problem...her coming

>in from recess!! I'm not quite sure why it has been such a challenge this

>year for her new aide and teacher, as last year we really didn't have an issue

>(or at least they weren't hounding me with it every single day!). I've tried

>to give them suggestions for ways to get her to come in using a more positive

>approach, ie counting how many steps it takes to get to the door, singing a

>song on her way back to class, giving her a special job - holding the door,

>carrying a clipboard or some of the toys they take out for recess, etc., as

>well as giving her 5, 2 and 1 minute warnings till time to go in. I even

>suggested they come up with a very special reward that she is to receive only

when

>she comes in without any " trouble " . I know that they have not even tried

>the latter, and I'm not sure that they have been at all consistent with the

>other suggestions. Today, and last Friday, they ended up getting the VP to

>assist in getting her to come in! Now, keep in mind that we don't really ever

>have this problem at home, and if we do it is pretty easily overcome. So, the

>VP (whom I like a lot, but don't agree on this one) has decided that tomorrow

>Shelby will not be allowed to go to recess, and will spend that time in the

>VP's office! I do not at all agree with punishing her 24 hours after the

>behavior, but I'm willing to let them try it this once. I do not want them to

>use this as a regular method of teaching her correct behavior.

>

>I know that they just want her to obey the rules and that is all there is to

>it, but I just don't know if that is always going to be what works best with

>Shelby. That is what I want for her too, and I do expect that with time

>(and maturity) we will achieve that on a more regular basis, but....what to do

>for now?? Personally, I think she is trying to tell us something, perhaps

>that since she isn't physically (and socially) as equipped as her typical peers

>to get all that she can out of recess, maybe she just wants an extra minute or

> two to play when she feels more comfortable (i.e. when everyone else isn't

>around watching her). Does that make any sense? She is a fairly shy child,

>and does not feel comfortable with most physical skills, at least not until

>she has practiced them a thousand times. She desperately wants to climb on

>the jungle gym like all of the other kids, but just isn't able to do so

without

>quite a bit of help.

>

>Anyway, I'm rambling, sorry...I'm mainly looking for any ideas that you all

>have used in the past when this type of issue has come up. And I'm not ready

>to do any type of behavior analysis at this point. Please be as specific as

>you can with your suggestions, so that I can relay them to the " team " . I'm

>just so tired of getting the notes home every day, and I just don't think

>they get it!!!

>

>Thanks in advance!

>

>Sandi -

>Mom to Shelby (8w/DS), Stuart (4) and (2)

>@ @ @ @ @

>,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,,\)/,,

>

November 2, 2005

I am thinking with this thread the scientist may want to examine chromosome

#21 even closer ... besides the extra gene for drama, hugging, and mooning,

there may be a " stay at recess " gene on number 21! ;-)

Cheryl in VA

November 2, 2005

LOLOLOL!! Our son is having a horrible time with this too! THanks for the

laugh

Kym

<<<I am thinking with this thread the scientist may want to examine

chromosome

#21 even closer ... besides the extra gene for drama, hugging, and mooning,

there may be a " stay at recess " gene on number 21! ;-)

Cheryl in VA>>>

November 2, 2005

Mine too!

Di

Re: need help asap please

LOLOLOL!! Our son is having a horrible time with this too! THanks for the

laugh

Kym

<<<I am thinking with this thread the scientist may want to examine

chromosome

#21 even closer ... besides the extra gene for drama, hugging, and mooning,

there may be a " stay at recess " gene on number 21! ;-)

Cheryl in VA>>>

Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

November 3, 2005

This is a good one! I may have to take this one to the " team " as my son is also

having this problem " at times " ... it seems he goes in spurts. Thanks for the

laugh.

Jeanne, mom to (12) and (almost 11, DS)

November 5, 2005

Hannah does this, too. It's funny because she is so darned FAST. I keep

walking in the direction of the bookbag shelf and when I turn around, the deed

is done.

Counting my blessings that the masturbation thing seems to have stopped!

Connie

In a message dated 11/5/2005 9:30:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

cindysue@... writes:

You forgot the ketchup obsession. Never heard of the mooning before, please

tell me that is a more " happen at home " thing and not a public thing.

strips off his pants, shoes and socks the moment he gets in the

door. Thank goodness he keeps his underwear on.

November 5, 2005

> I am thinking with this thread the scientist may want to examine

chromosome

> #21 even closer ... besides the extra gene for drama, hugging, and

mooning,

> there may be a " stay at recess " gene on number 21! ;-)

> Cheryl in VA

You forgot the ketchup obsession. Never heard of the mooning before, please

tell me that is a more " happen at home " thing and not a public thing.

strips off his pants, shoes and socks the moment he gets in the

door. Thank goodness he keeps his underwear on.

I always get a chuckle when the recess game is posted here on the list - I

can just see Shelby having fun with that one.

November 6, 2005

Did you know you have to pull your shirt all the way up to your mouth to

hold it when putting a wallet in your pocket??

Our maybe you need to show off your scars or your new adult hair growing

areas LOL.

Maybe you walk around saying " I smell " when you mean I smell something.

never forget the mispronunciation of the word TRUCK!!!!!

Yes, life is never easy but it is interesting. LOL

Jeannette

Mom to Indiana

Yes, it was hard to convince Indiana he could not take his bullwhip to

school!!

November 6, 2005

Let's see. We had the recess thing going on, the ketchup thing is alive and

well (puts ketchup on Everything), the get naked as soon as you get home is just

a given thing ( I have to insist on at least boxers, especially with the

adolescence thing going strong), the 'princess and the pea' thing where

won't wear this or that because it's too itchy, scratchy, etc., the hugging

thing is rampant again after so much progress in elementary grades, the stubborn

thing that taxes my ability to remain calm, to remember that I am the adult, and

to hope for a win-win solution with re-directing or reverse psycology. Also we

still have the 'pack things' going on here and there. Packs things in his

bookbag, coat or pants pockets and needs frisked before he gets on the bus. If

something is missing we ask and he most times tells us where he packed

it. Had an entire suitcase packed with the t.v. remote, dirty socks, toys, just

anything and everything he could find. Will never forget in Kindergarten when

he packed his bookbag with various items, including one of my undergarments.

That's the year I began frisking him.

Barb

Re: need help asap please

> I am thinking with this thread the scientist may want to examine

chromosome

> #21 even closer ... besides the extra gene for drama, hugging, and

mooning,

> there may be a " stay at recess " gene on number 21! ;-)

> Cheryl in VA

You forgot the ketchup obsession. Never heard of the mooning before, please

tell me that is a more " happen at home " thing and not a public thing.

strips off his pants, shoes and socks the moment he gets in the

door. Thank goodness he keeps his underwear on.

I always get a chuckle when the recess game is posted here on the list - I

can just see Shelby having fun with that one.

Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

November 6, 2005

WOW!!!! The packing thing!!!! Karrie packs bags...bookbags, plastic bags,

handbags....she packed a small cooler the other day and then put it back (a

first, putting things away!). I started smelling something a few days later.

She had packed some bananas, (I wondered where those had gone) and some

lunch meat along with dirty socks and a book.

We also have the ketsup thing, hugging thing going on, but Karrie thankfully

doesn't strip as soon as she gets home. But she compensates (!)..she has

started pulling her shirt up in public to display her new bra

That 21st chromosome sure holds a lot!!

Sue mom to Kate 16 and Karrie 9 w/ds and other issues

..

November 6, 2005

I get a note in the communication binder almost every day that says:

Q: Are you aware that Hannah has packed a __________________ in her

backpack?

A: Washcloth, play dough, egg shakers in a sock, deck of cards, gloves and

a scarf (in September...) nail polish, can of soup... I am sure it's going to

be quite extensive by the end of the year.

In a message dated 11/6/2005 8:24:56 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

cbbtdillon@... writes:

Let's see. We had the recess thing going on, the ketchup thing is alive and

well (puts ketchup on Everything), the get naked as soon as you get home is

just a given thing ( I have to insist on at least boxers, especially with the

adolescence thing going strong), the 'princess and the pea' thing where

won't wear this or that because it's too itchy, scratchy, etc., the

hugging thing is rampant again after so much progress in elementary grades, the

stubborn thing that taxes my ability to remain calm, to remember that I am

the adult, and to hope for a win-win solution with re-directing or reverse

psycology. Also we still have the 'pack things' going on here and there.

Packs

things in his bookbag, coat or pants pockets and needs frisked before he gets

on the bus. If something is missing we ask and he most times tells

us where he packed it. Had an entire suitcase packed with the t.v. remote,

dirty socks, toys, just anything and everything he could find. Will never

forget in Kindergarten when he packed his bookbag with various items, including

one of my undergarments. That's the year I began frisking him.

Barb

November 6, 2005

Packing. So this is where the " hiding the remote control so no one can

change the channel " is going? LOL. I wonder if you can put a GPS tag on

it or something..... maybe a clapper? I know when it's gone that most

likely she's put is somewhere, but she can't always remember where!

has this little pink suitcase that I got for 50 cents at a

garage sale, and it been packed to the bursting with just about

everything..... most favorite things are play kitchen dishes and food,

baby dolls and clothes, and LEAVES (she sneaks out to the yard, picks

the thing about half full of leaves off one particular kind of bush,

brings it back to her room, and then eventually they get dumped out on

the floor to make room for the next " pack " ..... this is when I realize

she's been picking again :-) Thankfully, I guess all she's missing is

the getting naked gene..... at least so far! Recess, ketchup, hugging,

packing, stubborn..... we're there.

, mom to (10), (7 DS), and (6)

Barbara Dillon wrote:

>Let's see. We had the recess thing going on, the ketchup thing is alive and