BIG status change

[Guest guest]

I spent last weekend (Saturday, Sunday, and Monday) with Jan. We

cleared out her apartment. The TV went to the lady in the apartment

across the hall. The sofa-bed, a dressr, shelves, microwave, and all

the food went to the family next door with two cute kids. Jan's bed

(built by me and bright yellow at her request) got disassembled and into

the dumpster. Lots of her belongings also went to the dumpster after

discussion. The desk, and table (20 year old teak things) went to

Salvation Army. Only Jan's clothes and a few other items went to her

Mom's apartment and to CA. We did ship five boxes of videos, books,

and other things.

We finished about 5:30 Monday and Jan went to a going away party and her

Mom and I went out to a very nice dinner. We got some quality time

together. Then back to Mom's apartment and packing to past midnight and

up at 4 am for the trip to the airport and the flight to CA. Jan's

little brother picked us up, dropped Jan and me in the house here where

I got her pointed to lunch and went to work for the afternoon.

So Jan is into a new life and adventure. Tuesday afternoon, she took a

nap, rising for supper and then going back to bed. Wednesday, she

cleaned up the yard (mostly raking up dried leaves) for about three

hours and hiked the mile plus around the block. Thursday morning we

checked in with the Regional Center and talked about programs. We met

her case worker and talked about what next. I am encouraged.

Today I left for work before she was awake, but called in at about

eleven. I asked her for an hour of raking (which she did), to get

lunch, and then to be ready for my friend to call. He came and

got her and her bike and they did a six mile ride to the mall, saw a

movie, and then rode back. When I came home from work, I insisted that

she walk around the block with me and a couple of friends. She pushed

back a little, but came along, walking the dog, Bubbles, the whole way.

This weekend, we have lots of work to do. We have to start to organize

so there is a place to put her clothes. We have to wash lots of them

that are so wrinkled that they don't look nice. Then we have to clean

house so her Mom won't be too mad when she comes for a visit later this

month. We've also got to do some real hiking in the adjacent park where

the basic hike is up a big hill and three miles round trip.

Sometime in the next month or so, we will get the application papers for

her to get an apartment of her own. They are still building the

apartments so they won't be ready until late November at the earliest.

It looks like Jan will be able to get one of those. By then we will

have supports in place to help her live there. No, she is not so

independent that she can live without any supervision, but a few hours a

week probably will suffice, particularly after she learns the area.

My brags about her watching her weight were a little overplayed. When I

got to her place, she was in the 130's. Today she says she was 127 (and

she's been honest about this). My plan is to exercise a lot and keep

the calories in control and to shed another 20 pounds .. and then just

go to maintenance. Maintenance doesn't mean a diet, but it means

checking every day and making a day-by-day correction based upon what

the scale says. Jan can do that, and I certainly have to.

Hopefully by early next year, we will have Mom and Grandmother moved

out. Grandmother is more of an issue because she needs to move nursing

home to nursing home and she has no assets, so she is

medicare/medicaid. She's 93. I'm looking forward to getting my

marriage and family back together. The pieces come one by one.

Rick .. dad to 32 year old Jan