you might be stupid if....

[Guest guest]

*warning..these jokes have not been screened...may be offensive*

....you can't remember how to spell " IQ. "

....you can't remember the number for 911.

....you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.

....you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.

....you fail Physical Education.

....you can not spell it.

....you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!

....you put braille on a drive up teller machine.

....you think Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

....you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!

....you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.

....you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.

....you frequently misspell your own name.

....you've ever been stuck in a toilet seat.

....you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.

....it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.

....you often wonder who Mc's parents are.

....you sell your car for gas money.

....you think Hamburger Helper comes with a man.

....you try thinking and nothing happens.

....you think a quarterback is a refund!!!

....you think hot dogs are real meat.

....people nick-name you Homer.

....you cook Minute Rice for an hour!

....upon approaching a traffic sign that says STOP AHEAD, you reach over and

grab your passenger by the top of the head.

....you lose $25 on a horse race and then lose $25 on the instant replay!

....you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.

....you get tangled up in a cordless phone.

....you need to be reminded to breath.

....someone tells you to call 911, and you can't find the 11!

....you take a donut back cause it has a hole in it!

....you stare at an orange juice can because it says concentrate.

....you have to look " stupid " up in the dictionary.

....you sit on the T.V. and watch the couch.

....you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because

she is next!

....you think Yogi Bear played for the Yankees.

....you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.

....you get lost in your closet.

.... you take an I.Q. test and forget to write your name.

....you go around a revolving door looking for the door knob.

....you list the police department as a reference on your resume.

....you get fired from volunteer work.

....a hamburger is a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, to you.

....you run around looking for a quarter to call 911.

....you can't find the " ANY " key on the keyboard.

....you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this

time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view " bulk rate. "

....you try to look up a word in the dictionary without knowing how to spell

it correctly, and you can't find it. Feeling like a ''genius'', that you

realize that WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY made an error.

....you have to look on both ends to open a bottle.

....someone offers you a bagel and you reply, " No thanks, I already have a

dog! "

....you turn the light on to see if it's dark.

....you take your chia pet for a walk.

....you wear your glasses while looking for them.

~~

To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the

affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one

life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson