sibling question

[Guest guest]

Since I am on a roll with posting lately, (versus lurking!) I wanted to mention

an interesting question that my son asked me the other day.

(nda, 6) and I were at Home Depot, and he suddenly asks me , " Mom when

you and Dad grow up and die, will me and have to be mommy and daddy to

Olivia? "

I don't know why he would ask this, we don't make big announcements about Livi's

" condition " , or her future, and she plays with all the other kids here, like any

other child. It is obvious to the kids though, Olivia is smaller, and she

communicates by gesturing, yelling, signing, pointing. It seems like whenever we

encounter another child close in age to Olivia, they will comment about how well

that child can speak compared to Olivia. I have talked to them about how Olivia

is slower because of Down Syndrome, but it is not a very exciting topic for

and . I mean, I usually say whatever it is I want to say about it,

and there are no further questions - example: " Olivia is trying to jump, but it

is taking her a little longer, because of her ds, but she will do it

eventually " .

Something that frustrates and though, are times when she will go

after their toys, run away with something of theirs - this pretty typical

sibling behavior. But when she doesn't have much in the way of vocabulary, she

does a lot of yelling, and she doesn't listen to " no " well, it seems harder.

Well, it is hard for me too, but I do notice that if I can get her in the spirit

of cooperation, she will do the thing (give the toy back, put the dvd back in

case, etc).

I know I'm rambling! But I guess I am just looking at how her brother and sister

(and the kids ' friends who are at our house frequently) might be seeing how she

fits into all this - she is small, and doesn't " speak " well, and loves to be a

part of their " group " , and imitates them a lot, but she is also her own person,

and shows that every once a awhile too.

Does anyone else have any similar experiences, or insights about how your

children think about the child with ds?

Btw, my response was something like, " why do you ask that? " ( " I don't know " )

" Well, Olivia will grow up too, and she won't need another mommy or daddy, but

she may need someone to help her with choosing things, and I hope you and

will do that. Do you think you will? " His response: I don't know, and

yeah! She'll need help with spending money, cause she doeasn't have any! (um, he

doesn't either!)

Patty

mom to 4, 21, 8, 6, Olivia 4(ds)

thinking about the suaree in 4 days!

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