Re: New, Kind of Struggling

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori-

It is nice to have you in the group! The only supplements that I

really use are the Myoplex shakes and protein powder--and not even

every day. I am definitely not perfect at this, but I have seen

results without the use of the other supplements, as I am sure that

many women here have too. As for the mental struggle, the only thing

that I can tell you is that you have to be very mentally strong to

avoid the food traps. For me it has gotten a little easier because I

have seen some results and I know that it is from all of this hard

work! There are times, though, when I just 'have' to have that piece

of chocolate or some extra barley (I love barley!). At that point it

is all mental and willpower to make myself stop. I won't deny that

it's hard, but it does get a little easier.

Hope this helps,

Kathleen

> Hi, everyone -

>

> I've been lurking for a couple of weeks now and finally feel ready

to post.

> I'm on the second week of the plan, although I'll admit I'm not

following it

> exactly (mainly because I don't use the protein powder, bars,

supplements

> like Betagen, etc.) However, I'm doing the weight-lifting

religiously per

> the book and plenty of cardio (although I do more than 20 minutes

3x week).

> I'm finding it so incredibly difficult to stay on the diet - not

because I'm

> hungry, because I'm not - but just because I feel deprived, despite

having

> the cheat day, etc. I know it's all emotional, even though I've

only been on

> the plan for 11 days, and I can't realistically expect to see any

improvement

> yet, it's still frustrating, and I get irritated. In addition, I

lost a ton

> of weight two years ago, kept it off for 20 months, and then gained

it all

> back, so I feel angry AND embarrassed, like the people I work with

are like,

> " Oh my gosh, what a loser " .

>

> I've enjoyed reading all of your comments and welcome any thoughts

on the

> emotional aspect of all of this, and any suggestions you have for

not giving

> in to the emotions which compel one to " cheat " .

>

> Best wishes and cheers -

> Lori

[Guest guest]

Hi Lori,

First, let me say that you don't have to use supplements to be

following the plan " exactly. " Whole food is always better than meal

replacements, and the other sups are just assistance, no the core of

the program. So, congratulations! You are follwing BFL to the

letter

In what way are you feeling deprived? Are you having cravings, an

urge for food not related to hunger? This could be emotional, it

could also be hormonal. You've only been on plan for 11 days, is

your period due sometime soon? I know that the week befor mine I have

a terrible urge to indulge. Now I'm going to suggest something that

seems to go against what I said above about not needing sups. Many

people find that supplementing their diet with additional essential

fatty acids helps them get rid of the cravings. These essential

fatty acids are found naturally in things like cold water fish,

especially fish with a darker color (salmon and tuna are great for

this.) Having several servings a week of those might be enough.

Some feel that they need more than that, and use a supplement like

Udo's Choice oils, a blend of oils that give the Omega 3 and Omega 6

fatty acids that most of our processed food is missing.

You have to give yourself a break here. You have been on plan for 11

days, you know (and I know you know, cause you say so in your post)

that it is too soon to really see results. Try to remember that you

didn't get to where you are in two weeks, and you are not going to

get to where you want to be in two weeks.

As for the people at work...if they are thinking anything at all

about your weight gain it is probably more like " Thank goodness she

gained all that weight back! She was making me feel bad about

myself, after all, if she can loose it why don't I? " ....LOL

Honestly, I think that when we are worrying about what people are

thinking about us, we are really worrying about what we are thinking

about ourselves. I hate to eat at a restaraunt alone. I always feel

like people are looking at me and thinking " That fat cow doesn't need

to be here eating anything! " I examined this feeling, trying to find

a way to dispell it, and you know what? I found that the reason I

assumed everyone was thinking that about me was because I was

thinking it about myself, and any other over weight person I saw

eating. Now I practice better thoughts. When I see a heavy person at

the ice cream machine, I make myself find kind things to concentrate

on. " Doesn't she have lovely hair/eyes/cheekbones... " Everyone has

something about them that is worthy of compliment. By learning to

look at others more generously I'm learning to look at myself with

more kindness as well.

I like what Beth said the other day. When you are wanting to have

something that you know is bad for you, ask yourself what is the

payoff for indulging? Is that payoff worth the cost?

Alys

[Guest guest]

lorandsean@... wrote:

>

> I've enjoyed reading all of your comments and welcome any thoughts on the

> emotional aspect of all of this, and any suggestions you have for not giving

> in to the emotions which compel one to " cheat " .

>

> Best wishes and cheers -

> Lori

Hiya Lori

Whenever I get the urge to cheat.. I check out my before pictures. I hate the

ugly fat body in those pictures and, if I cheat, that's the body I'll be stuck

with. It works for me I also revisit my goals..

Hang in there!

Serenity

[Guest guest]

Lori I am glad that you posted. I started pretty well at the same

time as you. Yes it is hard. It is a lifestyle change. I keep

reminding myself that the weight loss out weighs the taste of food. I

have not found the diet to bad I try variety in my foods. I do use

the supplements and I find that they really help alot.

You are not a loser. Since you have lost the weight once I know you

can do it again.

Stick with it. Lets see how far we can go with this.

Take care

--

- In @y..., lorandsean@a... wrote:

> Hi, everyone -

>

> I've been lurking for a couple of weeks now and finally feel ready

to post.

> I'm on the second week of the plan, although I'll admit I'm not

following it

> exactly (mainly because I don't use the protein powder, bars,

supplements

> like Betagen, etc.) However, I'm doing the weight-lifting

religiously per

> the book and plenty of cardio (although I do more than 20 minutes

3x week).

> I'm finding it so incredibly difficult to stay on the diet - not

because I'm

> hungry, because I'm not - but just because I feel deprived, despite

having

> the cheat day, etc. I know it's all emotional, even though I've

only been on

> the plan for 11 days, and I can't realistically expect to see any

improvement

> yet, it's still frustrating, and I get irritated. In addition, I

lost a ton

> of weight two years ago, kept it off for 20 months, and then gained

it all

> back, so I feel angry AND embarrassed, like the people I work with

are like,

> " Oh my gosh, what a loser " .

>

> I've enjoyed reading all of your comments and welcome any thoughts

on the

> emotional aspect of all of this, and any suggestions you have for

not giving

> in to the emotions which compel one to " cheat " .

>

> Best wishes and cheers -

> Lori

[Guest guest]

Lori,

I don't know how much this helps, but the way I stay motivated to eat

clean is that I JUST DO IT. I don't give myself another option. Do

you wake up and say " Hmmmm... do I want to go to work today... do I

want to brush my teeth today " I hope not- it is a forgone conclusion

that you are going to do these things. Same with eating clean.

I also find that it is easier for me to be perfect than it is to be

good. Of course, I could have a cookie on a non-free day and it will

not hinder my progress. But then where do you draw the line? If you

don't start cheating you don't have to stop it.

NOT that I have never slipped!! But as a general rule the

nutrition aspect poses no problem to me.

HTH,

Lynda

[Guest guest]

Lynda,

I am the EXACT same way in my life, it is not an option to cheat,

I know I have that one day I can enjoy the treats and that is it no

more no less. IT has worked pretty darn good so far, the temptation

is still there (always will be) but I don't give myself the option of

giving in therefore I don't. I know if I let myself have one bite of

a treat on a non free day it is over, I will not be able to stop, so

not allowing myself to even have a nibble keeps me on track.

Great to hear that is working for someone else.

> Lori,

> I don't know how much this helps, but the way I stay motivated to

eat

> clean is that I JUST DO IT. I don't give myself another option.

Do

> you wake up and say " Hmmmm... do I want to go to work today... do I

> want to brush my teeth today " I hope not- it is a forgone

conclusion

> that you are going to do these things. Same with eating clean.

>

> I also find that it is easier for me to be perfect than it is to be

> good. Of course, I could have a cookie on a non-free day and it

will

> not hinder my progress. But then where do you draw the line? If

you

> don't start cheating you don't have to stop it.

>

> NOT that I have never slipped!! But as a general rule the

> nutrition aspect poses no problem to me.

>

> HTH,

> Lynda

[Guest guest]

> lorandsean@a... wrote:

>

> >

> > I've enjoyed reading all of your comments and welcome any

thoughts on the

> > emotional aspect of all of this, and any suggestions you have for

not giving

> > in to the emotions which compel one to " cheat " .

> >

> > Best wishes and cheers -

> > Lori

Lori,

That has always been one of the toughest things for me. I'm an

emotional/reactional eater. FINALLY with BFL the little " light bulb "

went on and I suddenly realized that I could actuall control my own

decisions and not react to situations. When I want something off

plan, I try to think about why I want it; am I really hungry and then

I ask myself (yes out loud, and yes people think I'm crazy

<G>), " Colleen, do you really want that piece of _______, it's your

decision. " And for some reason, 9 times out of 10 I DECIDE that nope,

I don't want it, I do want to stay on plan. It also helps me if I do

decide I want it, not to beat myself up over it later in the day or

the next morning. I also try to make a " cheat " the least harmful,

like maybe having a protein bar instead of a chocolate bar, etc.

Doesn't always work, but works 99% of the time.

And welcome! Also if you havn't checked out Pam Brown's site, you

should browse around. Her " words of wisdom " are really what helped me

put things into perspective.

http://www.customizedphysiques.com/

Colleen

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and suggestions. I

appreciate all of them and will try and embrace them as best I can. I realize

it's an evolutionary process and will take some time but is ultimately for the

best.

I was just having a talk this AM at work with some women and we were saying that

part of the reason it seems women struggle so emotionally with dieting/weight

loss is because for them there's such a moral component attached; it's

" cheating " , there's " guilt " etc. My husband is BFL'ing too to a certain extent

but if he goes off the plan he can get right back on because he's not consumed

(no pun intended!) by thoughts of being a bad person, weak, failing, all that.

For many of us it's something that started in childhood (my mother's been

overweight all her life and is on a perpetual diet) and it seems to strike women

much harder because face it, society judges us much more on our appearance than

it does men, I think.

In this case maybe being able to deal with things more at arm's length is

appropriate, or not considering any slip a cardinal sin.

Bleah, too many thoughts. Anyway, thanks again.

Lori