Why do I do this?

[Guest guest]

OK, I am usually not one to comlain and moan about things-especially

to people I dont know. However, I feel desparate. I started my

first challange in Aug. 2001, here I am a YEAR later just 10lbs

lighter. Do you know why? B/c I never finished a challenge and this

is my Forth one. I get to week 8 or week 10 (while usually cheating

a tiny bit through the week) and then I quit for a month or so then

start again. This past time I quit for 4 months- YIKES and put on

15lbs and a TON of inches (goes to show that muscles Do weigh more

than fat b/c I had NO idea how big I was geting-dang those strech

clothes)Anyhooo, I am so scared of failing again. I know I am so

much happier when I am eating healthy and working out, but I am

still scared that my motivation will run out again. Why do I do

this? How can I keep my motivation? I write out my goals and was

even rewriting them at least once a month if not more, I have

specific goals, I felt like I was doing everything right and then I

just quit. (funny how everytime I quit it was when my mom came to

visit-hmmmm) Any advice or input is welcomed. I am sorry to sound

like a ninny baby, but like I said, I am desparate.

[Guest guest]

> OK, I am usually not one to comlain and moan about things-

especially

> to people I dont know. However, I feel desparate. I started my

> first challange in Aug. 2001, here I am a YEAR later just 10lbs

> lighter. Do you know why? B/c I never finished a challenge and this

> is my Forth one. I get to week 8 or week 10 (while usually cheating

> a tiny bit through the week) and then I quit for a month or so then

> start again. This past time I quit for 4 months- YIKES and put on

> 15lbs and a TON of inches (goes to show that muscles Do weigh more

> than fat b/c I had NO idea how big I was geting-dang those strech

> clothes)Anyhooo, I am so scared of failing again. I know I am so

> much happier when I am eating healthy and working out, but I am

> still scared that my motivation will run out again. Why do I do

> this? How can I keep my motivation? I write out my goals and was

> even rewriting them at least once a month if not more, I have

> specific goals, I felt like I was doing everything right and then I

> just quit. (funny how everytime I quit it was when my mom came to

> visit-hmmmm) Any advice or input is welcomed. I am sorry to sound

> like a ninny baby, but like I said, I am desparate.

Someone recently posted a very inspirational email from Pam Brown. If

you search the archives, it should show up for you. But she talked

about how she got through the days and the challenges, what motivated

her, etc.

Colleen

[Guest guest]

You need to stop doing the 12 week challenges~ really I mean it because like

you said you never finish them. So stop trying to do them. Now before

everyone starts to throw there protein bars and shakes at me let me explain

what I think you should do instead.

Don't veiw this as a diet anymore...but as a lifestyle. Take it one day at a

time. Yes right down your goals and yes take measurements etc... but in a

journal type fashion instead. Meaning buy your self a note book and write in

it daily to start, even if it is just one word per day..but eventually you

will want to write in it all of the time like this~ Day 1~ July 10, 2002

Today I decided to start living! [then write down your current weight,

measurements etc... and write down what your dreams are]. Then get up each

day workout and eat as clean as you can. If you choose to take a free day

then write down in the journal everything you eat this way if you don't see

progress you will know why. Also use the journal as an escape when you feel

the urge to cheat...grab the journal and right down your thoughts and think

and write some more. Hopefully it will give you enough of a distraction that

you won't feel like cheating after you put your thoughts on the paper. Don't

obsess with the numbers only take the measurements and weigh your self no

more than every 2 weeks.

You said you usually fall off the fitness wagon when your mom visits...hmmm

do you enjoy these visits or do they stress you out when she comes? If they

stress you out you need to confront the problem so you can deal with it

better and not fall off the wagon. Thnis is also where the journal can come

in handy...if you have a hard time talking to your mom about the issues [if

there are any] maybe writing them in the journal can help you work through

them].

See if you don't veiw this as 12 week chalenges...then there is now start

nor finish just an on-going fitness lifestyle that you can't fail at,

because even though you will have slip ups/ cheats etc... you will never

really fail because you where neve in a race/ competition to begin with so

the pressure of getting to " X " weight/ fitness level by " X " time is gone.

Then as the months pass by and as you read over the journal you will notice

that you made progress not only physical but spiritual as well...because you

will start to realize what makes you tick so to speak and you will be able

to listen to what your body has been trying to tell you all along :0)

Hope this helps!

And good luck~keep posting so we can help you through the rough spots.

Joann

[Guest guest]

Been there, done that. Not BFL but many other diet and exercise

plans. Sounds a little hokey but maybe you are afraid to succeed.

Check out www.oprah.com DrPhil has a " Get straight with your weight "

section. Some hard questions about your life and how you got fat

might just lead you to the motivation to get thin. Worked wonders for

me when I came across the info 6 months ago, had two visits with mom

since then and didn't even miss a step in my plans. Give it a try,

Yeta

> OK, I am usually not one to comlain and moan about things-

especially

> to people I dont know. However, I feel desparate. I started my

> first challange in Aug. 2001, here I am a YEAR later just 10lbs

> lighter. Do you know why? B/c I never finished a challenge and this

> is my Forth one. I get to week 8 or week 10 (while usually cheating

> a tiny bit through the week) and then I quit for a month or so then

> start again. This past time I quit for 4 months- YIKES and put on

> 15lbs and a TON of inches (goes to show that muscles Do weigh more

> than fat b/c I had NO idea how big I was geting-dang those strech

> clothes)Anyhooo, I am so scared of failing again. I know I am so

> much happier when I am eating healthy and working out, but I am

> still scared that my motivation will run out again. Why do I do

> this? How can I keep my motivation? I write out my goals and was

> even rewriting them at least once a month if not more, I have

> specific goals, I felt like I was doing everything right and then I

> just quit. (funny how everytime I quit it was when my mom came to

> visit-hmmmm) Any advice or input is welcomed. I am sorry to sound

> like a ninny baby, but like I said, I am desparate.

[Guest guest]

Joann, you're such a pro! Great response and I gleaned some wisdom for myself

too!

Park

Re: Re: Why do I do this?

You need to stop doing the 12 week challenges~ really I mean it because like

you said you never finish them. So stop trying to do them. Now before

everyone starts to throw there protein bars and shakes at me let me explain

what I think you should do instead.

Don't veiw this as a diet anymore...but as a lifestyle. Take it one day at a

time. Yes right down your goals and yes take measurements etc... but in a

journal type fashion instead. Meaning buy your self a note book and write in

it daily to start, even if it is just one word per day..but eventually you

will want to write in it all of the time like this~ Day 1~ July 10, 2002

Today I decided to start living! [then write down your current weight,

measurements etc... and write down what your dreams are]. Then get up each

day workout and eat as clean as you can. If you choose to take a free day

then write down in the journal everything you eat this way if you don't see

progress you will know why. Also use the journal as an escape when you feel

the urge to cheat...grab the journal and right down your thoughts and think

and write some more. Hopefully it will give you enough of a distraction that

you won't feel like cheating after you put your thoughts on the paper. Don't

obsess with the numbers only take the measurements and weigh your self no

more than every 2 weeks.

You said you usually fall off the fitness wagon when your mom visits...hmmm

do you enjoy these visits or do they stress you out when she comes? If they

stress you out you need to confront the problem so you can deal with it

better and not fall off the wagon. Thnis is also where the journal can come

in handy...if you have a hard time talking to your mom about the issues [if

there are any] maybe writing them in the journal can help you work through

them].

See if you don't veiw this as 12 week chalenges...then there is now start

nor finish just an on-going fitness lifestyle that you can't fail at,

because even though you will have slip ups/ cheats etc... you will never

really fail because you where neve in a race/ competition to begin with so

the pressure of getting to " X " weight/ fitness level by " X " time is gone.

Then as the months pass by and as you read over the journal you will notice

that you made progress not only physical but spiritual as well...because you

will start to realize what makes you tick so to speak and you will be able

to listen to what your body has been trying to tell you all along :0)

Hope this helps!

And good luck~keep posting so we can help you through the rough spots.

Joann

[Guest guest]

Park~

You liked my response? :0)

I have seen it many times before...people come here and think of this as a

diet from the start and that the full blown out free days are their reward

for being good for the week but as long as it is viewed as a diet than no

bad eating habits are ever corrected and then they either quit before

finishing or they finish but go back to the old eating habits and gain it

all back. I can't say it enough that in order to make this program or any

other eating/ fitness program out there work then old habits have to

change. A person just can't expect to maintain or achieve success if they

aren't willing to change the old habits. Yes it's hard to change a habit

especially when you have been doing it for as long as you can remember but

if you keep trying and are determined to make the effort and keep comming

back day in and day out with out viewing it as a set amount of weeks

like~ " ok if I can get through the next 12 weeks then I can " etc....

This way it does take the pressure off and there is no chance of failure

because you don't have a specific deadline to get " X " size or weight...and

alot of people get nervous when they start to get close to their goals

because then they think that the weight thing has been such a big part of

their lives than if they actually get to where they wanted to be then there

will be no more excuses as to why they did not magically get the life that

they invisioned as well with that weight or fitness goal.

I have learned that BFL is about more than just a weight loss or fitness

program it is about a whole inner self as well as an outward appearance

program. Most people as they transform their bodies also end up transforming

their outlook on life as well [usually for the better :0)] and this is the

start of turning this into a lifestyle rather than just another diet/

exercise program.

I am glad you were able to learn from my post as well :0)

Joann

P.S. How's your girls enjoying their summer?

[Guest guest]

Hi Joann,

Well your words of wisdom are always so appreciated. I do think this has become

a lifestyle for me and have no desire to ever re-gain my poundage. My plan is

to continue to weigh once a week when I go on " maintenance " and if I ever gain

up to 5 lbs I will hit BFL hard again. I figure it'll take one more challenge

period (for a total of 4) for me to get to my goals.

The girls are loving summer time. We are finally having some sunny hot (for

Seattle) weather so they get to go to the wading pools or beach all the time.

They are both enrolled in a summer camp for this month Monday-Thursday 9:30-1:00

so that wears them out. I enrolled them more for me than them, I must admit! I

am so enjoying having these daily hours to myself! Greta had her very first

ballet lesson today (you have to be 5 at this studio) and she was in bliss-land!

Her little sister also demanded to get dressed in leotard and tutu and sat in

the doorway watching. So cute!

Don't melt in that AZ heat!

Park

Re: Re: Why do I do this?

Park~

You liked my response? :0)

I have seen it many times before...people come here and think of this as a

diet from the start and that the full blown out free days are their reward

for being good for the week but as long as it is viewed as a diet than no

bad eating habits are ever corrected and then they either quit before

finishing or they finish but go back to the old eating habits and gain it

all back. I can't say it enough that in order to make this program or any

other eating/ fitness program out there work then old habits have to

change. A person just can't expect to maintain or achieve success if they

aren't willing to change the old habits. Yes it's hard to change a habit

especially when you have been doing it for as long as you can remember but

if you keep trying and are determined to make the effort and keep comming

back day in and day out with out viewing it as a set amount of weeks

like~ " ok if I can get through the next 12 weeks then I can " etc....

This way it does take the pressure off and there is no chance of failure

because you don't have a specific deadline to get " X " size or weight...and

alot of people get nervous when they start to get close to their goals

because then they think that the weight thing has been such a big part of

their lives than if they actually get to where they wanted to be then there

will be no more excuses as to why they did not magically get the life that

they invisioned as well with that weight or fitness goal.

I have learned that BFL is about more than just a weight loss or fitness

program it is about a whole inner self as well as an outward appearance

program. Most people as they transform their bodies also end up transforming

their outlook on life as well [usually for the better :0)] and this is the

start of turning this into a lifestyle rather than just another diet/

exercise program.

I am glad you were able to learn from my post as well :0)

Joann

P.S. How's your girls enjoying their summer?

[Guest guest]

Park~

I wish my kids were out of the house a few hours a day ;0) just kidding,

they have actually been really good the last few weeks since I took the TV

away during the day<<grin>>and have handed out chore assignments on a daily

basis.

I bet your girls looked really cute in their tutus. Unfortunately none of my

girls have ever wanted to do dance or gymnastic classes. My oldest is taking

flute lessons and my son wants to take karate this fall but that is it...

:0( Oh well.

You sure have come a long way since last Nov. when you started BFL; you are

a real inspiration to the newbies comming to the program these days and to a

lot of us old timers as well. Keep doing what you are doing :0)

Joann

[Guest guest]

Kiki -

Ah, from the mouths of babes! My daughter (5) pronounces it " phlat " . She used

to say, " mommy, you are phlat! " I used to just say, " yep I am - I want to be

healthy " . Now, after losing 67.5 lbs (I am within about 15 lbs of my goal I

think) she doesn't say anything at all about the changes in me! I don't really

like to talk about it too much as I am terrified of giving her sister and her

body image issues, but they definitely know I am " changing my body " and they

will ask if it's my free day from time to time. It really used to crush me when

she used to say I was phlat, and I have also heard that from other little kids.

They know nothing but honesty, bless their little hearts - grrrr!

Park

Re: Why do I do this?

Joann,

I never thanked you for the wonderful advice you gave me! (Re:

the post " why do I do this " . I have read your advice 3 times over

the past week. You are right, this isn't a " diet " but rather a

lifestyle. I have been happier w/ the decision to view it this way-

even though it is a struggle to do so.

And to everyone else: I dont post much, even though I spend at least

an hour a day reading your post and enjoying the stories and

informaion you share.

I was actually laughing out loud when some of you were talking about

weighing more than your husband and/or fitting in his pants. Before

I was married one of the criteria's for my future husband was that

his pants had to be too big for me. I cried when I was 6 months

pregnant and they no longer fit. His pants dont fall off of me any

more, but they will soon! A funny or not-so-funny thing happened to

me last week. My neighbors little girl (6yrs old) patted my stomach

and said " you are fat! nope you sure aren't skinny. You are fat " . I

vowed NEVER to let that happen again!! I laugh now at the story-kind

of- but I cried for a good hour after it happened.Sometimes when I

am doing interval and I want to quit I just say " NO ONE WILL EVER

CALL ME FAT AGAIN! " . That usually does the trick. Anyway, good luck

to everyone. Maybe oneday I will be brave enough to post on a

regular basis, but for now I just sit back and enjoy.

[Guest guest]

Park-

I am terrified of giving my kids body image issues too! I am sure

that it is a common fear among mothers. I hope that by being active

and exercising regularly, my children will just see that as a way of

life. My 3yo probably eats better than I do anyway. He loves fruits

and veggies. He is definitely an apple a day kid.

Kathleen

> Kiki -

> Ah, from the mouths of babes! My daughter (5) pronounces

it " phlat " . She used to say, " mommy, you are phlat! " I used to just

say, " yep I am - I want to be healthy " . Now, after losing 67.5 lbs

(I am within about 15 lbs of my goal I think) she doesn't say

anything at all about the changes in me! I don't really like to talk

about it too much as I am terrified of giving her sister and her body

image issues, but they definitely know I am " changing my body " and

they will ask if it's my free day from time to time. It really used

to crush me when she used to say I was phlat, and I have also heard

that from other little kids. They know nothing but honesty, bless

their little hearts - grrrr!

> Park

> Re: Why do I do this?

>

>

> Joann,

> I never thanked you for the wonderful advice you gave me! (Re:

> the post " why do I do this " . I have read your advice 3 times over

> the past week. You are right, this isn't a " diet " but rather a

> lifestyle. I have been happier w/ the decision to view it this

way-

> even though it is a struggle to do so.

> And to everyone else: I dont post much, even though I spend at

least

> an hour a day reading your post and enjoying the stories and

> informaion you share.

> I was actually laughing out loud when some of you were talking

about

> weighing more than your husband and/or fitting in his pants.

Before

> I was married one of the criteria's for my future husband was

that

> his pants had to be too big for me. I cried when I was 6 months

> pregnant and they no longer fit. His pants dont fall off of me

any

> more, but they will soon! A funny or not-so-funny thing happened

to

> me last week. My neighbors little girl (6yrs old) patted my

stomach

> and said " you are fat! nope you sure aren't skinny. You are fat " .

I

> vowed NEVER to let that happen again!! I laugh now at the story-

kind

> of- but I cried for a good hour after it happened.Sometimes when

I

> am doing interval and I want to quit I just say " NO ONE WILL EVER

> CALL ME FAT AGAIN! " . That usually does the trick. Anyway, good

luck

> to everyone. Maybe oneday I will be brave enough to post on a

> regular basis, but for now I just sit back and enjoy.

>

>

>