Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 There is a new country song that just came out.. I keep hinting to to get it for me for Christmas.. I know I'll end up buying it for myself.. it goes something like.. " Let them be little, let them laugh let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle. " . This song hits home so much for us. Our 4 yr old foster, hopefully soon to be adopted daughter often sleeps in the middle. She has been with us since she was 5 weeks old but she has been taken back to birth parents twice and each time she comes back more and more attachment disordered. Just when we get her to the point of moving out of our room, she leaves and when she comes back , she's back in our bed again. Then we get her stable and she has a visit and pop, we end up putting the pullups on her again. At this point, she has moved OUT of our bedroom, for two months and is in the big girls room, but she freqeuntly " checks " in with us during the night to see if we are asleep, or if we are watching TV or if I am feeding the baby. Sometimes she needs to get in bed with us, sometimes she stays, sometimes she stays just for a short while and sometimes she just makes sure that her world is still secure. We just follow her lead. Her security is more important than us sleeping in peace or not being kicked in the belly. And all too soon she could be gone or she'll be grown and we know what that's like, we've lost her already. It's scary. Hold them while you can! M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 There is a new country song that just came out.. I keep hinting to to get it for me for Christmas.. I know I'll end up buying it for myself.. it goes something like.. " Let them be little, let them laugh let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle. " . This song hits home so much for us. Our 4 yr old foster, hopefully soon to be adopted daughter often sleeps in the middle. She has been with us since she was 5 weeks old but she has been taken back to birth parents twice and each time she comes back more and more attachment disordered. Just when we get her to the point of moving out of our room, she leaves and when she comes back , she's back in our bed again. Then we get her stable and she has a visit and pop, we end up putting the pullups on her again. At this point, she has moved OUT of our bedroom, for two months and is in the big girls room, but she freqeuntly " checks " in with us during the night to see if we are asleep, or if we are watching TV or if I am feeding the baby. Sometimes she needs to get in bed with us, sometimes she stays, sometimes she stays just for a short while and sometimes she just makes sure that her world is still secure. We just follow her lead. Her security is more important than us sleeping in peace or not being kicked in the belly. And all too soon she could be gone or she'll be grown and we know what that's like, we've lost her already. It's scary. Hold them while you can! M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 a. You know, I am also a tired mom to 3 ..... I'd put tasha back in a pullup and save on the laundry and stress :-) It's doubtful she'll be wanting to wear one to a sleepover with her girlfriends once she gets to school :-) If she protests, tell her that she doesn't have to pee in the pullup, and if she has whatever, 3 dry nights in a row, she can stop wearing it (or something like that). That way, if it's behavioral, she may have some motivation to stop. If it's something else (I have a theory that at certain times, like when they are growing or something, the sleep harder and don't wake up to use the bathroom...... they are just more tired?) that is happening at the moment, then perhaps a little while in pullups will get you through this new stage. In any case, you won't be changing wet beds constantly and washing sheets daily, which I find to be very depressing...... changing wet beds is one of my least favorite household tasks (not that I have many favorites in the cleaning department!). b. Emotional harm, I doubt it. Pain in the a** for you to get up, take him back to bed, go back and get yourself back to sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat...... yes! sleeps in her own room until between 5:45 and 6:30 almost every morning. Now she is polite enough to say " mom, may I sleep with you " (although this is a rhetorical question..... the answer for her is never " no " , even if I tell her " no " ) as she is crawling over me to slide in between my us. Since we usually get them up at 6:45 for school, I've given up on the " back to your bed " routine in favor of the extra 15-60 minutes of sleep. Awhile ago, when she was arriving at 1 am, we finally broke down and kept taking her back (over and over) until she broke that nasty habit. As for your " morning glory " , well, they will all be in school before you know it, and you'll just have to put them on the bus, lock the front dorr, and get back in bed :-) We were at this stage not too long ago, and it seems like the baby/toddler/preschool stages will never end, especially when there are more than one at each stage. But, they do grow up and go to school, and then you will regain a little of your life back...... HANG IN THERE! , mom to (9), (6.... almost 7, DS), and (5) Leis wrote: >two questions: > >a: if tasha is wetting the bed agaoin nearly every nite, do I put her in >a pullup or just leave it for another month - she started wetting the >bed again when went on his first overnight visit about a month >ago and on avewrage wets the bed at least every second day, if not every >day . > >b: any emotional harm gonna come from getting out of my f-ing >bed at 4am?? I see enough of my kids. I dont need nor want him plastered >to my back each and every bloody morning. Driving me absolutley nucking >futs. I cant have a morning glory if I Wanted to now, and being a >parent with 3 kids that is rare enough to start with. > >Any help appreciated > >MErry christmas and all that 5am jazz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 a. You know, I am also a tired mom to 3 ..... I'd put tasha back in a pullup and save on the laundry and stress :-) It's doubtful she'll be wanting to wear one to a sleepover with her girlfriends once she gets to school :-) If she protests, tell her that she doesn't have to pee in the pullup, and if she has whatever, 3 dry nights in a row, she can stop wearing it (or something like that). That way, if it's behavioral, she may have some motivation to stop. If it's something else (I have a theory that at certain times, like when they are growing or something, the sleep harder and don't wake up to use the bathroom...... they are just more tired?) that is happening at the moment, then perhaps a little while in pullups will get you through this new stage. In any case, you won't be changing wet beds constantly and washing sheets daily, which I find to be very depressing...... changing wet beds is one of my least favorite household tasks (not that I have many favorites in the cleaning department!). b. Emotional harm, I doubt it. Pain in the a** for you to get up, take him back to bed, go back and get yourself back to sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat...... yes! sleeps in her own room until between 5:45 and 6:30 almost every morning. Now she is polite enough to say " mom, may I sleep with you " (although this is a rhetorical question..... the answer for her is never " no " , even if I tell her " no " ) as she is crawling over me to slide in between my us. Since we usually get them up at 6:45 for school, I've given up on the " back to your bed " routine in favor of the extra 15-60 minutes of sleep. Awhile ago, when she was arriving at 1 am, we finally broke down and kept taking her back (over and over) until she broke that nasty habit. As for your " morning glory " , well, they will all be in school before you know it, and you'll just have to put them on the bus, lock the front dorr, and get back in bed :-) We were at this stage not too long ago, and it seems like the baby/toddler/preschool stages will never end, especially when there are more than one at each stage. But, they do grow up and go to school, and then you will regain a little of your life back...... HANG IN THERE! , mom to (9), (6.... almost 7, DS), and (5) Leis wrote: >two questions: > >a: if tasha is wetting the bed agaoin nearly every nite, do I put her in >a pullup or just leave it for another month - she started wetting the >bed again when went on his first overnight visit about a month >ago and on avewrage wets the bed at least every second day, if not every >day . > >b: any emotional harm gonna come from getting out of my f-ing >bed at 4am?? I see enough of my kids. I dont need nor want him plastered >to my back each and every bloody morning. Driving me absolutley nucking >futs. I cant have a morning glory if I Wanted to now, and being a >parent with 3 kids that is rare enough to start with. > >Any help appreciated > >MErry christmas and all that 5am jazz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/2004 1:30:05 PM Central Standard Time, lisa@... writes: b: any emotional harm gonna come from getting out of my f-ing bed at 4am?? I see enough of my kids. I dont need nor want him plastered to my back each and every bloody morning. Driving me absolutley nucking futs. I cant have a morning glory if I Wanted to now, and being a parent with 3 kids that is rare enough to start with. ROTFLOL Sara is still in my bed ................ she doesn't snore like her daddy lol and if " morning glories " are what I think they are, it happens in a very pink bedroom ........ hers lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/2004 1:30:05 PM Central Standard Time, lisa@... writes: b: any emotional harm gonna come from getting out of my f-ing bed at 4am?? I see enough of my kids. I dont need nor want him plastered to my back each and every bloody morning. Driving me absolutley nucking futs. I cant have a morning glory if I Wanted to now, and being a parent with 3 kids that is rare enough to start with. ROTFLOL Sara is still in my bed ................ she doesn't snore like her daddy lol and if " morning glories " are what I think they are, it happens in a very pink bedroom ........ hers lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/2004 10:27:52 PM Central Standard Time, b4alltoday@... writes: ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Ooooh no my snowman came back to me looking all drunk lol he looked all cute on my screen lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/2004 10:27:52 PM Central Standard Time, b4alltoday@... writes: ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Ooooh no my snowman came back to me looking all drunk lol he looked all cute on my screen lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 I have to add......... Leis, enjoy this time, the kids will be grown before you know it. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/17/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 I have to add......... Leis, enjoy this time, the kids will be grown before you know it. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/17/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Leis, Yesterday, I had to take a nap - and laid down with me on the couch - I missed her so much and it was nice to just hold on to her again....and she is 23 years old!!! and I did pick her up at the airport - he didn't get the waiting part...sigh! We had to wait while she cleared customs behind restricted doors. When she came out, I ran past where I was allowed to go and just held on to her - very teary eyed (for both of us)...then I heard the familiar steps of running towards us and he got to hug his sister. She was really surprised at how big he has gotten and how much his speech articulation has improved. saw many individuals with DS in Argentina. She saw a young man at a magazine stand - reading porno...lol! She watched a father walking with his young daughter - he stopped and bought her flowers to give to her, which made her very happy. She wants to return in the future - maybe I'll go with her next time. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/17/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Leis, Yesterday, I had to take a nap - and laid down with me on the couch - I missed her so much and it was nice to just hold on to her again....and she is 23 years old!!! and I did pick her up at the airport - he didn't get the waiting part...sigh! We had to wait while she cleared customs behind restricted doors. When she came out, I ran past where I was allowed to go and just held on to her - very teary eyed (for both of us)...then I heard the familiar steps of running towards us and he got to hug his sister. She was really surprised at how big he has gotten and how much his speech articulation has improved. saw many individuals with DS in Argentina. She saw a young man at a magazine stand - reading porno...lol! She watched a father walking with his young daughter - he stopped and bought her flowers to give to her, which made her very happy. She wants to return in the future - maybe I'll go with her next time. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/17/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Oh I adore my kids- I write in a journal so I have that to remember all this by- I dont have a fantastic memory- so I write it all down when I can, and take heaps pictures- I am absolutely loving my kids right now- 1 reason why we gonna wait to have another baby- so we can enjoy this stage they are all at Kids grow way too quick but thanks for the reminder wrote: >I have to add......... > >Leis, enjoy this time, the kids will be grown before you know it. > > > > > -- Aussie Leis- mum to BJ - 7 - ds, Natasha 2.5 and 1 " The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions. " Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2004 Report Share Posted December 20, 2004 Oh I adore my kids- I write in a journal so I have that to remember all this by- I dont have a fantastic memory- so I write it all down when I can, and take heaps pictures- I am absolutely loving my kids right now- 1 reason why we gonna wait to have another baby- so we can enjoy this stage they are all at Kids grow way too quick but thanks for the reminder wrote: >I have to add......... > >Leis, enjoy this time, the kids will be grown before you know it. > > > > > -- Aussie Leis- mum to BJ - 7 - ds, Natasha 2.5 and 1 " The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions. " Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/04 8:54:46 P.M. Central Standard Time, Michdock@... writes: She has been with us since she was 5 weeks old but she has been taken back to birth parents twice and each time she comes back more and more attachment disordered. It just kills me when i hear this stuff and will never figure it out. Of course the birth parents should have a right to their children up to a point. I don't undrstand why laws can't be made that if a child is in foster care for a certain amount of time that they will be released for adoption. They are certainly not thinking of the best interest of the children. Thank the Lord you can do this . I never could foster because it would kill me if they came and took the child away to a situation like you are talking about. This little one is very blessed. Loree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 In a message dated 12/20/04 8:54:46 P.M. Central Standard Time, Michdock@... writes: She has been with us since she was 5 weeks old but she has been taken back to birth parents twice and each time she comes back more and more attachment disordered. It just kills me when i hear this stuff and will never figure it out. Of course the birth parents should have a right to their children up to a point. I don't undrstand why laws can't be made that if a child is in foster care for a certain amount of time that they will be released for adoption. They are certainly not thinking of the best interest of the children. Thank the Lord you can do this . I never could foster because it would kill me if they came and took the child away to a situation like you are talking about. This little one is very blessed. Loree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 Kathy, yep, I think your snowman may have been sippin on the eggnog lol Tena On 20 Dec 2004 at 23:32, b4alltoday@... wrote: ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Ooooh no my snowman came back to me looking all drunk lol he looked all cute on my screen lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Tena " Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming --- WOW --- WHAT A RIDE! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 Kathy, yep, I think your snowman may have been sippin on the eggnog lol Tena On 20 Dec 2004 at 23:32, b4alltoday@... wrote: ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Ooooh no my snowman came back to me looking all drunk lol he looked all cute on my screen lol Kathy mom to Sara 13 ..--.. /___, \ (_____)(_) ( ' < ' ) ###### >-/# : \-< ( # : ) \ / Tena " Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming --- WOW --- WHAT A RIDE! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 In a message dated 12/21/2004 6:08:38 PM US Mountain Standard Time, cindysue@... writes: There is a law Yup..there is a law..but time and again we see it not being enforced. Here in AZ the statutes state that if the child is out of the home for 9 out of 12 consecutive months, that is grounds for severence. WELL, can I tell you how many foster children I have had longer that that who have still gone back to the parents. It's appalling. The thing is..there are too many people involved who get suckered into the game playing that the parents are so good at. The 2nd time the kids were returned it was a CASA who was right there convincing everyone that I was the problem and the parents were prefect. She changed her tune 2 weeks after the kids were returned, but by that time it was too late and the kids had to go through 4 months of hell before they had grounds to remove them again. Who suffers. As soon as we finalize the adoption of these 3 we do want to move..but not to where there is any snow....LOL. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 Sounds good to us.. will retire in 7 years... Mav will be done with school, we will be ready to get out of here.. the older kids will be gone, the younger kids will need to get out of here. So.. tomorrow we are filling out birth certificate forms for Chip's adoption. We have no meaning for the name Chip..he just wasn't what we expected when they handed him to us..looked so unlike his sibs.. I said. .. " He's a chocolate Chip! " ..and I disliked his given name..which he was only given at 6 weeks..5 days before we got him.. so he wasn't attached to it..so we have called him Chip for the past 20 months. Tomorrow we have to fill out what we want on his official birth certificate and we are putting Chip. I have been trying to find a meaning for Chip and found none, but I just found Chipo.. African.. a girls name meaning Gift.. so don't you think that Chip would be the males' version of Chipo? He IS our gift.. we were sure that Maverick.. our 14 yr old was our last baby..and here we go again!!! M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 t. > I don't undrstand why laws can't be made that if a child is in foster care > for a certain amount of time that they will be released for adoption. They > are certainly not thinking of the best interest of the children. There is a law - the Safe and Stable Family Act (first signed by Clinton, then again by Bush). The problem is the judges that return the children more than once after the parents do what they need to do for reunification. I think 's little girl should not have gone back the second time. It's all up to the courts - if the foster care service plan is not strong enough, the judge can change it before signing it. Then there are the appeals that drag things out for so long. I want , et al to move here....she is an awesome foster parent! --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/18/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 As soon as we finalize the adoption of these 3 we do want to move..but not to where there is any snow....LOL. M. , Plan on the Myrtle Beach area of South Carolina - let's see, Sharon is already there, Tim and I will be headed down in 4 years, Sandy and Larry are considering this and last but certainly not least, Kathy and Mike (at least for summer vacation?!?). The majority of my families move once the adoption is finalized-probably not a bad idea to give the kids the extra emotional security they deserve. We do not have CASA here- other neighboring jurisdictions do. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.818 / Virus Database: 556 - Release Date: 12/18/2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 In a message dated 12/22/04 8:39:10 AM Central Standard Time, writes: > In a message dated 12/21/2004 6:08:38 PM US Mountain Standard Time, > cindysue@... writes: > There is a law > Yup..there is a law..but time and again we see it not being enforced. Here > in AZ the statutes state that if the child is out of the home for 9 out of > 12 > consecutive months, that is grounds for severence. WELL, can I tell you how > > many foster children I have had longer that that who have still gone back to > the > parents. It's appalling. > The thing is..there are too many people involved who get suckered into the > game playing that the parents are so good at. The 2nd time the kids were > returned it was a CASA who was right there convincing everyone that I was > the > problem and the parents were prefect. She changed her tune 2 weeks after > the kids > were returned, but by that time it was too late and the kids had to go > through > 4 months of hell before they had grounds to remove them again. Who suffers. > As soon as we finalize the adoption of these 3 we do want to move..but not > to > where there is any snow....LOL. > M. > > Of course there is that beautiful little clause that is often used here in Wisconsin that if the child is considered " unadoptable " they are better off in foster care with abusive or neglectful parents as advocates for them. It took 5 years in foster care before our son's mother's rights were terminated. Karyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2004 Report Share Posted December 23, 2004 In a message dated 12/22/04 8:39:10 AM Central Standard Time, writes: > In a message dated 12/21/2004 6:08:38 PM US Mountain Standard Time, > cindysue@... writes: > There is a law > Yup..there is a law..but time and again we see it not being enforced. Here > in AZ the statutes state that if the child is out of the home for 9 out of > 12 > consecutive months, that is grounds for severence. WELL, can I tell you how > > many foster children I have had longer that that who have still gone back to > the > parents. It's appalling. > The thing is..there are too many people involved who get suckered into the > game playing that the parents are so good at. The 2nd time the kids were > returned it was a CASA who was right there convincing everyone that I was > the > problem and the parents were prefect. She changed her tune 2 weeks after > the kids > were returned, but by that time it was too late and the kids had to go > through > 4 months of hell before they had grounds to remove them again. Who suffers. > As soon as we finalize the adoption of these 3 we do want to move..but not > to > where there is any snow....LOL. > M. > > Of course there is that beautiful little clause that is often used here in Wisconsin that if the child is considered " unadoptable " they are better off in foster care with abusive or neglectful parents as advocates for them. It took 5 years in foster care before our son's mother's rights were terminated. Karyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.