My Hallmark Card Life (Holiday Edition)

[Guest guest]

Awwww Marina, You can talk to us as much as you like!!!! Start typing and continue until you are done with your feelings!!! We'll listen!!! That's what this list is about, is ALL (ALL) of us coming to the aid of each other!!! I'm sorry you are alone, I do not like being alone either!!! But Please try to battle those Demons off and call someone, till they answer, and TELL them how bad of a shape your in!!! MAKE them Listen to you!!! Or Give the Pets extra Food and Water and check yourself into the hospital, if that is what you need to do!!!

But Remember Suicide is NOT an answer to anyone!!!

{{{{{{{{{{ Many Special Hugs Your Way }}}}}}}}}}

Helen

--- lasqueak2000@y... wrote:HOLIDAYS SUCK! This has been my montra foryears. However, in lue of my particularcircumstances at this time, I could sayHOLIDAYS KILL DEPRESSED PEOPLE. My kidsare off on vacation with their friends families and Iwill be sitting here ALONEfor 4 days dealing with my "depression demons". The3rd kid (ME) desperatelyneeds a babysitter!Marina(Hunkering down into survival mode)> > > Hi,> > Hope your have a decent day. I'm not> sure how I'm feeling today. My kids are> off visiting at their friends for a couple of days.> So the minute I'm ALONE, I start thinking alot.> Like,> gee if I were feeling in the depths> of despair, I'd probably knock myself> off. I AM ANGRY at my family and my> sort of "friend". Told them all last> week that I was deeply depressed and> even suicidal enough to warrant hospitalization.> Anyway none of my 3> sibs that live in the same state have> even called to check on me. My one> "friend" has not called either. As> a matter of fact, all I am getting is> voice mail, when I tried to call them> now. Gee my life is as rosy as a Hallmark card.> Can't even check in the> dammed hospital, until I find a reliable source to> care for my dozen> precious guinea pigs. Well, that's all> for today's snivel list.

> > take care,> Marina

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/4/01 9:05:42 PM Pacific Daylight Time, lasqueak2000@... writes:

--- lasqueak2000@... wrote:

HOLIDAYS SUCK! This has been my montra for

years. However, in lue of my particular

circumstances at this time, I could say

HOLIDAYS KILL DEPRESSED PEOPLE. My kids

are off on vacation with their friends families and I

will be sitting here ALONE

for 4 days dealing with my "depression demons". The

3rd kid (ME) desperately

needs a babysitter!

Marina

I am alone all the time. For the past 6 years. The only 'company' I have are my pets (who are like children) and who ever I talk to on this thing.

I slept all day, not out of boredom or depression, but so that the day would go quicker. I turned on the a/c for the first time today and did some 'penning' (painting with pens) for a few hours, then talked to my friend in England for an hour, then took a nap. I just finished cooking a steak and some hot dogs. I wanted to bbq them, but that didn't work out, so....There was a time I would not even have attempted eating this kind of food. (i.e. solid)...But that steak is almost gone!

After I finish eating, I plan to go out and set off some fireworks (alone)...this year I'm going to try and take some piccy's of them! Then I plan to come in and watch 'what women want' (provided I can find a tape to record it), then what is becoming a tradition: ID4!!

Then I will fiddle fart around on this thing for a while, and prolly go to bed. I just realized why the dogs are more anxious than usual. There are children across the street for the first time in years, who are out there (and have been all freak'n week) setting off m80's and other loud stuffs. Oh joy.

Deb

[Guest guest]

--- lasqueak2000@... wrote:

HOLIDAYS SUCK! This has been my montra for

years. However, in lue of my particular

circumstances at this time, I could say

HOLIDAYS KILL DEPRESSED PEOPLE. My kids

are off on vacation with their friends families and I

will be sitting here ALONE

for 4 days dealing with my " depression demons " . The

3rd kid (ME) desperately

needs a babysitter!

Marina

(Hunkering down into survival mode)

>

>

> Hi,

>

> Hope your have a decent day. I'm not

> sure how I'm feeling today. My kids are

> off visiting at their friends for a couple of days.

> So the minute I'm ALONE, I start thinking alot.

> Like,

> gee if I were feeling in the depths

> of despair, I'd probably knock myself

> off. I AM ANGRY at my family and my

> sort of " friend " . Told them all last

> week that I was deeply depressed and

> even suicidal enough to warrant hospitalization.

> Anyway none of my 3

> sibs that live in the same state have

> even called to check on me. My one

> " friend " has not called either. As

> a matter of fact, all I am getting is

> voice mail, when I tried to call them

> now. Gee my life is as rosy as a Hallmark card.

> Can't even check in the

> dammed hospital, until I find a reliable source to

> care for my dozen

> precious guinea pigs. Well, that's all

> for today's snivel list.

>

> take care,

> Marina

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> > HOLIDAYS SUCK! This has been my montra for

> > years. However, in lue of my particular

> > circumstances at this time, I could say

> > HOLIDAYS KILL DEPRESSED PEOPLE. My kids

> > are off on vacation with their friends families and I

> > will be sitting here ALONE

> > for 4 days dealing with my " depression demons " . The

> > 3rd kid (ME) desperately

> > needs a babysitter!

> >

> > Marina

> >

>

> I am alone all the time. For the past 6 years. The only 'company' I have are

> my pets (who are like children) and who ever I talk to on this thing.

> I slept all day, not out of boredom or depression, but so that the day would

> go quicker. I turned on the a/c for the first time today and did some

> 'penning' (painting with pens) for a few hours, then talked to my friend in

> England for an hour, then took a nap. I just finished cooking a steak and

> some hot dogs. I wanted to bbq them, but that didn't work out, so....There

> was a time I would not even have attempted eating this kind of food. (i.e.

> solid)...But that steak is almost gone!

> After I finish eating, I plan to go out and set off some fireworks

> (alone)...this year I'm going to try and take some piccy's of them! Then I

> plan to come in and watch 'what women want' (provided I can find a tape to

> record it), then what is becoming a tradition: ID4!!

> Then I will fiddle fart around on this thing for a while, and prolly go to

> bed. I just realized why the dogs are more anxious than usual. There are

> children across the street for the first time in years, who are out there

> (and have been all freak'n week) setting off m80's and other loud stuffs. Oh

> joy.

>

> Deb

Sounds like we are on the same boat Deb. We're just having the time of

our lives! Your dogs and my guinea pigs

will be relieved when the BOOMS, BANGS,

& WHISTLES are gone! My piggies were

jumping out of their skins yesterday/last night. I turned on the

radio loud in one room for them and I

had the tv going in my room where most

of the piggies live. I also passed out

carrot chunks to all, which is " comfort " food for them.

As for me, I just hanging on one day at a time, until the kids get back and

until I can get my car fixed.

I may go on a sleep marathon.

Marina

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/5/01 6:27:06 PM Pacific Daylight Time, lasqueak2000@... writes:

I may go on a sleep marathon.

I was sick this morning, slept all day (all day on the 4th too, then got up to do stuff)...don't have much food in the house and not even $200 in the bank...just finished making chocolate and butterscotch chip pancakes with butter, peanut butter and mrs buttersworth cinnamon swirl syrup. We shall see if it stays down. Hurts to swallow, as my swallower is still sore.

Had a depressive crying jag today. Even had those 'bad' thoughts I won't mention. I'm fine now though, no worries.

Dogs are getting on my nerves a bit though. :X

Hows you??

Deb

[Guest guest]

Actually, I slept alot too. Relied on

my Ativan tranquilzers to help me sleep

and calm my freaking anxiety. Bought a

bottle of Cello Lambrusco ahead of time, but so far haven't cracked that

open. My guinea pigs and I were glad

when the fireworks started to shutup.

All that loud noise, made them into

little basket cases and they didn't have meds for their nerves. Got my

days n' nights flipped around, so I

reckon it's time for bed. It is almost

5am now.

Good Night

Marina

liven one day at a time

> In a message dated 7/5/01 6:27:06 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> lasqueak2000@y... writes:

>

>

> > I may go on a sleep marathon.

> >

> >

>

> I was sick this morning, slept all day (all day on the 4th too, then got up

> to do stuff)...don't have much food in the house and not even $200 in the

> bank...just finished making chocolate and butterscotch chip pancakes with

> butter, peanut butter and mrs buttersworth cinnamon swirl syrup. We shall see

> if it stays down. Hurts to swallow, as my swallower is still sore.

> Had a depressive crying jag today. Even had those 'bad' thoughts I won't

> mention. I'm fine now though, no worries.

> Dogs are getting on my nerves a bit though. :X

>

> Hows you??

>

> Deb

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/8/01 5:12:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time, lasqueak2000@... writes:

Got my

days n' nights flipped around, so I

reckon it's time for bed. It is almost

5am now.

Sounds *JUST* like ME! lol I also, also take ativan.

Deb

[Guest guest]

Our Dog Troubies was also glad the fireworks stopped!!! She was hiding under our bed! I've been actually sleeping 4-6 hours at night, so for me that is great!!! Glad you havn't had to open the new meds!!! )

{{{ Hugs }}}

Helen

Actually, I slept alot too. Relied onmy Ativan tranquilzers to help me sleepand calm my freaking anxiety. Bought abottle of Cello Lambrusco ahead of time, but so far haven't cracked thatopen. My guinea pigs and I were gladwhen the fireworks started to shutup.All that loud noise, made them intolittle basket cases and they didn't have meds for their nerves. Got mydays n' nights flipped around, so Ireckon it's time for bed. It is almost5am now.Good NightMarina liven one day at a time