Re: another child??

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/17/2004 1:12:20 PM Eastern Standard Time,

ldistin@... writes:

> Hi,

> My husband and I want another baby.

-- I was 33 whe was born with DS (she was my second child). We

specifically chose to have one more because of what it would bring to both her

life

and the life of her older sister to have one more sibling in the mix.

We've talked to doctors and they

>

> don't seem very supportive. They say my odds look poor. They say I

> was one in 100 before now I am one in 50 to have a " problem " . I am

> 40 and our 4 mth old has down syndrome. From all I have read and

> everyone I have talked to no one seems to have had two children with

> down syndrome.

actually I do know someone who conceived a second child with DS, although she

didn't know until after she miscarried.

I'm not sure if that is because the medical

>

> profession tends to lean on the idea of stopping after you've had

> one. Maybe it is because my baby is so little, but his downs only

> seems like a little more work due to running from one check up to

> another and a cold he has had for 6 weeks. I just was wondering what

> everyone else thinks or has experienced.

-- Babies with DS that have no medical issues are really no different than

other babaies. The differences are going to become much more obvious once you

hit school. Advocacy for a Special Needs child is very consuming. That said, my

3rd is not DS but does have ADD & CAPD so is very consuming for different

reasons (!)

I mean, is any child really

>

> easier than another (special needs or not). Isn't every baby a

> special gift that deserves all the attention and love we can give? I

> really would be interested in hearing what other parents here think

> and have done. It probably will not change my mind at all, but it

> would be nice to hear some possitive things to. Everyone in

> our " world " doesn't seem to be able to see the bright side of

> things. I am fortunate enough to be able to be a stay at home mom

> and we have a good foundation with plenty of love to give. My main

> concern is that at this age it could be hard to get pregnant. Thanks

> for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

>

-- my question would be - how would you feel if you found out this child also

had DS?

- Becky

[Guest guest]

I have 3 boys. My oldest is now 11 and just happens to have Down Syndrome.

When he was five I married my husband and in February of 2000 (7 months before

his 7th birthday) I gave birth to my second son 5 weeks early. Two years

later (well actually 23 months ), I gave birth to my third son 4 weeks early.

Both of my younger two boys are healthy in spite of their early arrivals.

All three boys spent (in order of birth) 1 week newborn nursery, 3.5 weeks NICU,

and 6 days newborn nursery + 3 months apnea monitor.

My oldest was born at our local university's affiliated hospital. My

pregnancy with him was rather uneventful until the last 4 weeks (going by date I

delivered). At that time I began spotting and having contractions and was put

on

berets & medicated (medical professionals were going by the assumption based

on ultrasound that he was due Sept. 7th -- gave birth August 7th to a full-term

{or 1 week short of} baby). AFP was normal so the diagnosis was a surprise.

He has been a healthy kid, which when waiting for the diagnoses was my prayer

request.

With my second oldest, DH & I opted for no prenatal testing (didn't want the

pressure), due to my high blood pressure and contractions was hospitalized at

34 weeks. At 35 weeks, doctor decided to induce. He was born relatively

quickly and was within 2 hours whisked to the NICU at the university's hospital

via HealthNet as his lungs weren't quite mature. He spent 3.5 weeks with the

majority of the time on a ventilator in the NICU; he was released from the NICU.

To be honest, that was a more difficult postnatal experience for me than

learning my oldest had Down Syndrome.

With baby number three, again DH & I opted for no prenatal testing. Again

due to my high blood pressure and contractions I was hospitalized at 35 weeks.

At almost 36 weeks, doctor decided to induce and within two hours of the

induction baby number entered the world. Doctor decided to let me go home even

though my blood pressure hadn't come down as much as he wanted; however, the

baby

ended up having to stay due to turning blue on the nursery staff. My OB felt

it was because I had GD; newborn nursery nurse felt it was just baby's blood

sugar dropped too low (baby hadn't eaten due to circ and check-ups all day)

and the newborn ped said she felt that I didn't have GD as my blood sugar was

never high during the pregnancy and I didn't follow the diet they gave me. At

any rate, baby ended up coming home with an apnea monitor for 3 months. This

was also more trying than learning my oldest had Down Syndrome.

I guess what I'm trying to say is sometimes there are worse hurdles to

overcome than learning a baby has Down Syndrome. If you and your husband want

another child -- go for it and trust that the Lord won't give you more than you

can

handle with His help.

Cari

[Guest guest]

Hello!

I think that if you want another child, and are prepared for whatever happens,

then you should go ahead and have another child.

I do know of a family whose first child had Down Syndrome - because of his

medical problems, he passed away when he was about a year old, their 2nd child

was non DS, and their 3rd child had Down Syndrome. They were thrilled.

I have 2 children, my oldest son was born prematurely at 29 weeks (15 years

ago). He only weighed 2 lbs. My second son is 2, and he has Down Syndrome. I

haven't had any " normal " babies to compare it to really...lol...but my first

child was alot more work than my 2nd has been - he was sicker, in and out of the

hospital for the first 3 or 4 years - he has since outgrown it thank goodness.

Spencer (my baby) does not have many medical issues - tubes in his ears,

tonsils/adenoids removed, pneumonia last Spring...but that's it. I am sure I

have alot of things to deal with in the future - but that's ok, I'm ready for

whatever comes my way.

Would I have another child? I am 35, there's 13 years between the 2 children I

have, YES, I would LOVE to have more children. However, I am not a healthy

pregnant person - both times were High Risk pregnancies, and both of my children

were premature. It's really not an option for me anymore...but if I were able

to be a healthy pregnant person - I would have 2 or 3 more children.

In the end it comes down to what you want, what you can handle, and what you

and your husband feel is right for you. I know you're just looking for some

information, and I hope you have gained something from what I have shared.

~Sami Jo~

Mom to y (15) and Spencer (24 ms)

I Crochet For Down Syndrome

www.crochetfordownsaz.org

another child??

Hi,

My husband and I want another baby. We've talked to doctors and they

don't seem very supportive. They say my odds look poor. They say I

was one in 100 before now I am one in 50 to have a " problem " . I am

40 and our 4 mth old has down syndrome. From all I have read and

everyone I have talked to no one seems to have had two children with

down syndrome. I'm not sure if that is because the medical

profession tends to lean on the idea of stopping after you've had

one. Maybe it is because my baby is so little, but his downs only

seems like a little more work due to running from one check up to

another and a cold he has had for 6 weeks. I just was wondering what

everyone else thinks or has experienced. I mean, is any child really

easier than another (special needs or not). Isn't every baby a

special gift that deserves all the attention and love we can give? I

really would be interested in hearing what other parents here think

and have done. It probably will not change my mind at all, but it

would be nice to hear some possitive things to. Everyone in

our " world " doesn't seem to be able to see the bright side of

things. I am fortunate enough to be able to be a stay at home mom

and we have a good foundation with plenty of love to give. My main

concern is that at this age it could be hard to get pregnant. Thanks

for taking the time to give me your thoughts.

Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have 4 kids. My second has Ds she is 5yrs old. She was born two

weeks after i turned 35y, My last two were born when i was 37 and 38yrs old.

We new kristen was going to be born with ds when i was 24 weeks pregnant.

Shw was born 10 weeks later. My doctor did not ask if i wanted an abortion. He

just told me were i could go and tell them i was 23 weeks. Since it is

illegal to have one after 24 wks. she had some medical problems at birth and

needed surgery.

I chose a different doctor to deliver my last two. We planned for

a. Jillian was an unexpected surprise. we had always planned to have 3

kids. s having ds was not going to change that.

Maureen

[Guest guest]

Hello Di,

On Friday, September 17, 2004 at 3:30:56 PM you wrote:

> my friend has 5 children

I say,

NO more children!

--

Tim Casten,ZDC

National Air Traffic Controllers Association

[Guest guest]

Well, Another child.... What's one more? We are in the process of adopting

#6 and have #7 and #8 picked out already...and we are older than you!

The thing to remember with the sp needs child is that as a baby and toddler,

they are easy (not counting medical issues).....much the same as a typical

child. As they get older and the gap increases is when it gets harder. You

have

more social, academic and physical issues to deal with and it is much more

work.

I would NEVER NOT have Maverick as a part of our family. He is such a

blessing, but face it, he is almost 14 going on 5 going through puberty. (Those

of

you with older kids know what I mean!)

We love having a large family and feel very fortunate to not only be able to

adopt many children, but to foster many. But those with special needs do take

more work and energy and emotions.

You just need to consider that when you are thinking of having another. And

you need to remember that YOU will be parenting the children, not your Dr.

You know that it is a risk that you might have another child with DS, but you

also already know what a blessing a child with DS is!

And rememeber this, there are MANY children that need to be adopted.

M.

 ¸...¸     ___/ /\ \___        ¸...¸     

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\     ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´      ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸      `°²·-.¸

 

......for a tree is recognized by its fruit.

<FONT COLOR= " #800080 " BACK= " #ffffff " style= " BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff " SIZE=3

PTSIZE=12 FAMILY= " SCRIPT " FACE= " Luci 3:33

[Guest guest]

<snip>

>They say my odds look poor. They say I

> was one in 100 before now I am one in 50 to have a " problem " . I am

> 40 and our 4 mth old has down syndrome.

Hi!

I think your odds for your age are about 1 in 40/50 anyways. And

you are correct... it *may* be harder to get pregnant at this age....

BUT.... based on your email... you seem to be a person with a lot of

love to give with a true desire to have more children so I say go

for it!

I have been blessed with 5 (my 4th - Colleen - has DS) and I had my

5th at 38. I'd have kept going but my husband cut me off! lol

<snip>

>I mean, is any child really

> easier than another (special needs or not).

Actually, Colleen *was* my EASIEST baby!

<snip>

> It probably will not change my mind at all, but it

> would be nice to hear some possitive things to.

I think having kids is great and having one with DS is not that big

of a deal (she is 8 year old now.

Personally I really *needed* to have one after her for various

reasons... so I did not " baby " her, to come up behind her and

challenge her, etc. etc.

I could not be HAPPIER! I am *so glad* to have had and he has

been *great* for her and for us.

I'm going to go post a quick reintro to the list with a cute story.

I hope you read it.

***Follow your heart... I think you hear what it is saying... I do

not think you will regret it.***

Best Wishes

Shelby

Mother of Caitlin (14), Kelsey (12), Jimmy (10), Colleen (w/DS)(8),

(6)... and YES Timm... *I* am *done*... rotflol

[Guest guest]

I had 3 others after I had Brit. I was alot younger though. My youngest is 14

months and I am 34. I had Brit when I was 22.

Hugs

Beth

http://www.tracheostomy.com/trachkids/kids2/brittany.htm

I am the " special needs " child. I am your teacher. If you allow me, I will teach

you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you

unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust and my total dependency. I

teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for

granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I

teach you giving. Most of all, I teach you hope and faith. ~Author Unknown~

[Guest guest]

We have 3 children- BJ is nearly 7 yrs old, Natasha is 2 1/2 yr and

is 11 months .

BJ has DS and we always wanted a large family so it wasnt a huge

factor for us that BJ was born with DS. Made us want more kids so he

had role models etc, but wasnt a negative factor for us. We didnt

have amnios or extra testing either.

I am trying to talk myself out of more kids. I would really like at

least one more I think I am a sucker for punishment. is

such a good baby that he makes you think- " Yeah I can do this

again " Tasha was a horror so much thatI seriously thought about

having no more kids- but we thought it would be nice for her to have

at least 1 " normal " sibling. And before I get flamed we relaised it

could have " backfired " on us.........I am gonna try and wait a ta

dlonger on the new baby front tho......

And I tend to agree with a few other mums... My nda kids have been a

tad more challenging than BJ was- and that could be for a number of

diffenrent reasons. Tasha still freaks me out with how fast she does

things.

Aussie Leis