Guest guest Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask them is really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At the restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees she says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want to be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " Has any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love you to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Dear I have no solution, but I think you are very right in being concerned. It isn't just that sometimes we grown-ups want our peace and quiet and don't want to socialize. More important is the fact that children that behave like are open to any kind of sexual transgressions from anyone. She has to learn to set up " boundaries " and learn to categorise people into family, close friends, mere aquaintances and strangers. And the different kinds of closeness that are apropriate for each category. The different categories each have their own rules: who is allowed to touch, who do you tell secrets to, who are you polite to but don't tell them all your intimate details, etc. This is extremely important for all of our children, boys and girls. Our kids are often so very slow to learn these rules, all the small subtle details other kids pick up automatically somehow get overlooked by our kids. Especially if they have endless medical issues as well as DS this whole topic becomes more important - every doctor and every nurse and every therapist is allowed to touch and do all kinds of painful horrible stuff. But that doesn't give everyone that kind of freedom and the kids have to learn that a group leader or a teacher or whoever else is definitely NOT allowed to do these kind of things. And kids who are in their teens do NOT go and hug strangers or sit on teachers laps etc. It's one of the hardest lessons for some of our kids. But very important in order to protect them as much as possible in the future. regards Gundula > Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old > . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a > conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask them is > really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At the > restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our > table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees she > says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want to > be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone > her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " Has > any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love you > to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 I have friends with children who have the social gene as you describe with your daughter. Most people find them adorable! They exhibit the best manners in their quest to know everyone and introduce them to their families members and we love to hear some of the response their receive to their queries on wife or husband names, children names, where they work and how their dinner was! I suspect you best get used to meeting all the people in your community because my friends' children become much more sophisticated in their social skills as they age! ;-) Cheryl in VA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Well my Micah is only 3 and a half, but yes, he is already like your . No matter where we go, if there are people he is right there. He yells haaaa for hi and a big grin and wave. he is for the most part non-verbal so will grin, tip his head, flirt, hi five or make noise. Anything at all he can do to engage the other person. he is a true social butterfly and yes, sometimes it is like. Micah sssshhhh!! For the most part right now it is oaky cause he is so little but I do worry a little about this as he gets older. teaching him boundries has become a priority. I am teaching him to shake or high five instead of hug and kiss. This is hard as everyone looooves a hug and kiss from micah but I have to tell them it is not going to be appropriate later on and he needs to learn this now. It is a fine line we walk. Loree Not feeling social....... Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask them is really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At the restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees she says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want to be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " Has any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love you to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for messages to go to the sender of the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 In a message dated 6/21/2004 12:32:23 AM Central Standard Time, sudsystuff@... writes: > Has > any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? I do, but it is NOT my child with DS. Matt is 10, and he would crawl into someone's pocket and go home with them! He talks to everyone about everything. He asks elderly people, where their parents are. He asks extremely personal questions. He has already been diagnosed with PDD, but was recently tested for syndrome. Zack, my 11 year old, with Ds, is constantly telling him, " No Matt! Strangers! " Sorry, I have no answers, but would be interested in hearing any good suggestions you get. Sue - mom to Zack, 11, DS, 2 ASDs, VSD, Bad Mitral Valve; Matt, 10, 's Anamoly, Cataracts, Glaucoma, PDD, PFO, hearing loss; , (4/20/96 - 12/31/00), DS, g-tube, TOF; Sami, born 11/16/2002, sensory dysfunction and possible autism, the most spoiled princess DisLabeled Writing - finally updated about 's death and Sami's adoption 's Memorial Page 's Candle Shrine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 My (19-DS) does the very same, and it has taken years and years and years of role modelling and coaching to make her more safe out there... One series of videotapes that I recommend - *Circle of Friends* which details to the kids the levels of friendships out there in each layer of the circle, and what behavior is okay in each. (Strangers are the outside circle, and you do not talk to them - the closest circle is where you trust, and can hug). We have gone through these tapes for a few years now... and now she will finally spout them back to me - if I engage a person in conversation in the grocery store line, for instance. We still set up scenarios - like when she volunteered for bagging at the local grocery store as a fundraiser for Special Olympics - paired up with a man in uniform - I cautioned them in advance..... she will be *in love* with him. He needs to know that up front and be prepared to handle it - or pick another partner for her! Good luck to you!! --Kathy Werner *********** REPLY SEPARATOR *********** On 6/21/2004 at 1:31 AM sudsystuff@... opined: | Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight | year old | . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a | conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless | I ask them is | really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks | to. At the | restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food | to our | table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she | sees she | says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just | want to | be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells | everyone | her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is | TerLISA! " Has | any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I | Love you | to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. | | | | Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for | messages to go to the sender of the message. | Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 My daughter (non DS) as a child was very social. But it didn't go beyond just speaking, saying Hi, to people ordinarily. Gradually she learned to be more discerning, altho as an adult she is still very much a people person. was always very popular with all people, especially old ladies. He was big on hugs. As he got older he toned it down too, and became more appropriate. I remember my neighbor took him with her to a local shopping center one day and later she said, " Everybody at that place knows this kid!! " She couldn't get over it. And they really did. It was people from school, church, stores, the YMCA. He knew people I didn't know. He still has people stop and talk to him, and I think sometimes it's mistaken identity, there are similarities with DS persons. But he is well liked. If I go into our local Hallmark store without him several people who work there will ask me where he is. Last time they sent home some balloons for him. However, I would be concerned for a girl like Sara, who is that outgoing. People probably don't mind, but it could make her a target. Somewhere along the way she is going to have to learn more appropriate behavior. For her own safety. Don't wait, it may take awhile. I know I hated to dampen my daughter's outgoing spirit but I had to explain to her that there are bad people that she needed to be aware of. Jessie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 this is one of out wrap around goals. Nic is the same way. He calls all men " pop-pop " . Gives hugs and kisses. Di Not feeling social....... Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask them is really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At the restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees she says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want to be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " Has any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love you to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for messages to go to the sender of the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Welcome back Kathy!!! We missed you. Loree Re: Not feeling social....... In a message dated 6/21/04 12:32:30 AM Central Daylight Time, sudsystuff@... writes: > Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old > . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a > conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask > them is > really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At > the > restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our > table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees > she > says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want > to > be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone > her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " > Has > any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love > you > to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. HI Ive been following this thread ....... Smiling My Sara age 12 (and she tells EVERYONE this, as if it is a right of passage for everything) is very social too. Right now at age 12 I can't decide if her strong personality trait is her social ability or her ability to bug the stew out of some. She is the child who can't walk by a light switch and NOT turn it off, just so she can hear some say " Saraaaaaaaaaaaa turn it back on " She has the concept of " privacy " concerning her body whenever a male is around ... even Daddy. I don't think I can change her strong personality so Ive decide to give her the tools she needs to protect herself. On our trip to FL with all of my family a month ago, Sara hugged and then tried to tickle one of my sisters under the arm, the sister snapped very loudly at her (in the grocery store) because she was yelled at, Sara continued to irritate the same sister. When I noticed this I intervened and made herwalk away from my sister. Sara is learning quickly some folks are not so social, not even family. The trip we took last week with the same family, she paid zero attention to my sister. In fact once she told her " Im ignoring you " when my sister lectured her over something else. Oooooooh wow this is sounding more like a vent over certain family members heehee Sometimes life works it's own self out, where I may want to poke at a certain person, Sara can do it and usually gets by with it lol Being serious, I have witnessed the very social young children, mature through the years into more reserved adults. If this helps at all By the way I'm back .... again and Im not traveling in a long time heehee Kathy mom to Sara 12 ¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸ ,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·, ```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´ ¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸ As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Josh. 24:15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 23, 2004 Report Share Posted June 23, 2004 never knew a stranger when he was younger. He is very shy now unless he knows the people. I " d rather have my old gregarious back. I am an extrovert and can understand better than I can shy people. She may grow out of this:) Elaine Not feeling social....... Hi all. Just wanted to know if any of you have kids like my eight year old . Everywhere we go has to say hi and attempt to strike up a conversation.Its as if EVERYONE is her best friend. I dont know unless I ask them is really knows them or if its just one of the millions she talks to. At the restaurant tonight, " Sweet Tomatoes " . while carrying our trays of food to our table, stops at every table to greet everyone. And every man she sees she says Hello Dad!!! " Some days like today I dont feel great and I just want to be invisible but OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO not with !! She tells everyone her name and then says her version of my name..... " and this is TerLISA! " Has any one got any ideas for this extreme social behavior??? She says I Love you to strangers ALL the time.Thanks for any responses. Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for messages to go to the sender of the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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