yet another scare

[Guest guest]

:

My mom ordered me three of the ION-Kids wrist tags (with 1 parental locator

unit). We have used them on occasion with the boys (10, 4 & 2) {the 10 yo just

happens to have DS and tends to lead the 4 & 2 yo off on 'adventures'} and I

definitely plan on using them when we go camping in a couple of weeks. The

wrist tags look like a digital wrist watch (minus the clock face) and have a

locking feature that prevents the child from removing it. A neat feature is the

tamper alarm which sounds if the connections are against the child's skin.

The boys don't seem to mind wearing them and call them watches. It allows them

up to 500 feet from the locator unit outdoors and 300 indoors. I'm trying to

train the boys to freeze when they hear the alarm go off & the red light

flashes, unless they are standing next to me -- we're still working on that

concept

with all of them. Some days the littlest one gets it before the older two

and other days it's the oldest one.

Cari

[Guest guest]

,

May I suggest a cask of wine to calm the nerves tonight!!!

Can you at sometime arrange for her to go to s on her own,

and watch her while you are out of sight - being allowed to do this

a few times, just may satisfy her. Also then make the ground rules,

she must ask before going alone, so you can check that is

home. It is one of those hard ones - Trent is 20 and we are still

dealing with these problems. During the summer, when my husband has

excess home grown vegies, we let Trent deliver some to the

neighbours - which he loves doing, but we are watching from a

distance - okay we live in the country and have a good views of our

surrounds from the house, which I agree makes a difference.

The marsh is a worry - we have a river close by - fortunately not a

deep fast running one but deep areas. - another memory or two in

regards to his being independant and another call to the police for

help.

One thing a good friend said to me after another of his escapades

(leaving our home while everyone asleep well after midnight,

visiting the neighbour and somehow arriving back at our old home,

which is about 600 meters on top of the hill -out of sight - he

either had to walk up the unlit highway or through paddocks past

dams) anyway - don't worry about the what if's - because they

didn't happen and may not be an issue - feel proud of the

achievement and look forward.

Try and stay positive - and enjoy that cask!!!!!

Jan

[Guest guest]

Maybe get them to sit down onthe ground when they hear the alarm go? sorta make

a game of it- abd if they sitting they cant really move toooooooo fast

Quoting CMancari@...:

> :

>

> My mom ordered me three of the ION-Kids wrist tags (with 1 parental locator

> unit). We have used them on occasion with the boys (10, 4 & 2) {the 10 yo

> just

> happens to have DS and tends to lead the 4 & 2 yo off on 'adventures'} and I

> definitely plan on using them when we go camping in a couple of weeks. The

> wrist tags look like a digital wrist watch (minus the clock face) and have a

> locking feature that prevents the child from removing it. A neat feature is

> the

> tamper alarm which sounds if the connections are against the child's skin.

> The boys don't seem to mind wearing them and call them watches. It allows

> them

> up to 500 feet from the locator unit outdoors and 300 indoors. I'm trying to

> train the boys to freeze when they hear the alarm go off & the red light

> flashes, unless they are standing next to me -- we're still working on that

> concept

> with all of them. Some days the littlest one gets it before the older two

> and other days it's the oldest one.

>

> Cari

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I guess that it was my grandmother who taught me this lesson. She

taught us to be safe in boats and then allowed us the freedom to use

boats to explore. Yes, she worried, but she gave us the freedom. I

remember some times when I really contributed to her worry, but she gave

me freedom.

Jan was (and is) an adventurer. Sometimes we didn't even know she was

gone until the hermit-like neighbor brought back saying that they had a

good visit. She knew him better than I did and I knew him better than

any of the other neighbors.

We lived on a lake. We had firm rules on the lake. Jan followed those

rules. Otherwise the neighborhood was fairly safe (but not totally so).

In high school, our kids were latchkey. It was the day that I found

that Jan had let a young man in as far as the living room that we

changed things. The following week, she had a job as a " counsellor in

training " at an afterschool daycare center wir 6-8 year olds. A

determined dad can make things happen.

Still, if we go to the mall or a large store, it is MY JOB to make sure

we both have clear expectations on when and where to meet. Radios help

a lot when I remember to bring them.

If I am wandering a mall for half an hour looking for Jan, it is my

fault. I hadn't set a firm meeting place. Jan had been allowed

independence in a relatively safe envrionment and I hadn't set the

right parameters. OK, it shouldn't be different than your other kids

except that they might be looking for you.

OK, there have been some big events like running away from summer camp

(she won!) or the " thing one and thing two " escapade on Nantucket

stealing a wagon.. Most everything else has been just fine and those

weren't all that bad. Even those weren't dangerous, once we'd done a

review.

Your environment and attitudes may be different. We never stayed away

from activities because of risk. My wife and I flew airplanes for a

while, climbed rocks and mountains, and tried to build lives that were

not defined by having one child with a small disability.

Sometimes it is hard to get that detachment. Yes, I gave more personal

time to Jan than her siblings because the activities for her sibs had

adults helping and in Jan's case if I didn't step in, there would be no

activity.

We are whole as a family. Last night I had her two brothers at dinner

with me (not Jan or Mom). Jan and Mom will be here in CA next week.

Rick .. dad to Jan .. 31, AML survivor .. dealing with host/graft

complications, but the outlook is positive.

[Guest guest]

I may reveal something about my age, but I don't think that we live in a

more scary world than the one I was raised with. It was not long after

the Lindberg kidnapping and my parents were chided by neighbors because

they let me out of the house ever. We lived a block from the railroad

and " tramps " were regular visitors asking for something to eat, which

they often got even though we didn't have much to share.

Jan often wants me to re-tell of the time that my big brother and I took

our wagon (kids had those). We went down by the freight yard where

there was a road under the railroad where we could go see the

steamboats. At the end of the road was a gravel place which got gravel

off barges and loaded it onto trucks for use in our town.

Well the shortest way home from the gravel place was up the steep hill

to the railroad station, across a single track (we looked carefully

before crossing) and dragging the wagon up onto the platform. So far,

so good for kids probably 4 and 6, but just then a train pulled in and

my Father stepped off, having come home from work.

Jan wants to hear that we were grounded and that we never did that

again. Jan's sense of adventure comes with the genes from both sides.

Rick .. dad to Jan .. she's coming to CA next week for a visit