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[Guest guest]

I just got word that the friend I have had since we moved up to CNY ,

passed away about an hour ago,

In the last years she had to have a spinal operation to fuse a very bad spinal problem, she had osteoarthritis, diabetes plagued her, she tok a lot of painkillers and I told her that she must not take Ibuprofen 900 and Tylenol in such quantities,she apparently would forget the amounts she took her son tells me, and continually overdosed.. In November she went to live with her daughter and 3 weeks ago landed in hospital, her lungs,heart, kidneys and liver failing fast, her doctor told her that she could never go home, her immune system was gone, they gave her blood and a bacterium in it caused havoc with her, She had gone downhill last time I saw her and then the following week she was put onto life support for her lungs were filling up, she came out of it enough to breathe on her own,but was not lucid and was confused, they thought there was hope, I was very skeptical though. The kids thought she was getting better, but being much older I guess I am very leery.

Geez I will miss that gal

She had lost her husband of 40 years in 1998, walked away from his grave and would never visit the site although it is only a short walk from her house, I kept telling her that she had no closure, she must go and visit his grave, it would hurt but I found that when I lost my son n 1972. I was also loathe to visit the military cemetery where he lay ( Pinelawn NY), one day I did visit and spent the day crying my heart out here the stark reality of his death hit me and hard, I also found in the days following that I could start to live with the pain of his death, slowly I began the process of grief and healing, does anyone think that I was wrong about Kay and one must put paid to a loved ones death? I wonder if she had done this she might still have been with us .Anne